Hey,
yesterday, after I returned home from work, I prepared myself a tea with ~1.25g Cubensis. You couldn't really call it a mushroom tea, since the mushrooms were just swimming in the tea and I ate them after drinking it out :P
After I finished my cup, I left the house and went into the forest. I chose that place because people say that trips in nature are very nice and because there are usually no people. So I walked up into the forest and sat on a bank there. I sat there for a while, drank some water but didn't really notice anything. So I decided to walk further into the forest. I walked into there and sat down on the next bank I reached. My coordination was kinda lost, I was dizzy and I felt some discomfort, which was also caused through the black market source of the mushrooms, not really knowing 100% sure what they were(sold as cubensis, but hey, that's just a label). After sitting there for a while I pulled out my mobile phone and began reading about all kinds of mushroom topics, so I will know what will happen to me. My mobile phone was really a kind of grounding/earthing for me. Two hours had now passed since I took the mushrooms and I thought "hey, 2 hours have passed, so the peak should be over". I thought that the string would very quickly end now. So I started walking out of the forest. And I was so wrong about the trip ending. While walking back into my village, I had all kinds of thoughts and they were circling. Some of them were:
- Wow, this experience is much stronger than I thought, I thought a gram to be very weak - Shit, what if my mother finds out about this
But despite that there were also some more or less interesting insights that I can't quite remember. My state changed very fast between paranoia and easiness. And it changed like 100x times, or so it felt. So after a while I ran into my mother! We changed some words(very few), and I'm not quite sure if she noticed I'm tripping, but I think she must have noticed something is different. However, she hasn't really said anything about it to me, so I think she is ok. When I reached my home, I went straight into my room. I sat myself in front of my computer and read about all times of shroom related topics, mostly here on the shroomery, but also a bit on Wikipedia and other sites. I've read the "desperate mom looking for help"-thread and I felt like I could totally understand all the people writing in there. Despite me being very active, time passed extremely slowly. When I thought like half an hour to a hour should be over now, I looked at the clock and sow that just 3 minutes had passed. Letting the windows-clock display seconds helped very much, since I could see that time was just passing. I avoided my room until the end of the trip and just went out two times to go pissing. That's because I tried to avoid running into my mom again, since I still hoped she hadn't noticed I was on a trip. Toward the end of my trip, I felt a strong feeling of relief, hope and happiness. I looked forward to my life and strengthened some of my goals. I set deadlines for some of them. And I'm still really looking forward to reaching them. There's still a lot of positive energy in me right now. Yesterday, after my trip was over and my mom was in bed, I finally left my room. I ate something and watched a satirical/cabaret show that was just on in German television. I could really laugh at most of it(I'm normally someone who doesn't laugh too easy) and it felt great. It felt like I really understood what they had to say. When I woke up today, I didn't immediately stand up like I usually do, but took some time to reflect what to do after I stand up, because I really don't want to waste any time anymore. Some of the goals I have newly set or strenghtened are:
- Begin and follow through an online course at edX Online University(for example about computer science or philosophy, which are topics I'm interested in) - Just being easier around social situations(tell people my honest opinion instead of trying to always appear "normal" in every aspect; Starting to talk to nice girls I see on the street; etc;) - Starting up my own business to earn my independent money instead of working for my boss
This whole trip report is probably kinda unstructured right now, because I just wrote down my thoughts that came while I was writing. I will try to edit it for getting some structure into it in some minutes.
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i explain this kind of stuff to my mom, but i think it's a bad idea. moms usually dont like drugs. so i wouldnt talk about it. by the way, i usually LOVE tripping around my mom when the mushrooms just start kicking in. she'll never notice, cause i'll just be talkative and happy and that's it.
not sure if you had cubensis, but definitely sounds like a psilocybin trip. 1g usually is kinda weak. maybe you had a strong batch of shrooms. or maybe someone picked Psilocybe semilanceata and sold them to you? no idea.
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