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Offlinest1llnox
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Registered: 11/27/12
Posts: 7,312
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When you're not strung out and using drugs all the time... * 1
    #18900562 - 09/27/13 08:39 PM (10 years, 5 months ago)

Life is a lot fucking better.

tl;dr: using drugs less really does improve your life a lot if you've been doing it excessively; you can now count me as a believer and thanks for pounding this into my head



I MOSTLY quit abusing drugs, particularly DXM (it's been over a month for the first time in a while, we'll just say that).

My parents, it turns out, are actually interesting and caring people. They're not perfect and we're still working on relating even better, but man they're cool.

I can never repay how grateful I am I was able to be there for my Grandpa in his final days. If I were strung out, traipsing the dextroverse or stoned, I might not have even made it up to see him.

But before his mind started leaving ahead of his body finally shutting down too, he said he loves me and gave me a "god bless", a tradition in that side of the family where we pat eachother twice on the head to the syllables of "God Bless" before we leave.


My mind is better too. I'm kicking ass at work; used to go in stoned sometimes and I felt guilty when the manager who hired me asked if I'm sick, or the really cool manager that thinks I can become a manager took time out of his shift to give me a pep talk about how I still have potential when he saw my, well... functioning/functionality declining.



I'm re-teaching myself some math and it's clicking. Now that I put drugs by the wayside, I asked my doctor if he'd want my help as a research assistant and he PRACTICALLY SOUNDED LIKE HE'D JUST BEEN WAITING ALL THIS TIME FOR ME TO GET BORED OF DRUGS, and he enthusiastically took me on board and I start early October :aweyeah:


Even drugs are better this way; I've smoked weed like 2-3 times in the last 5-6 weeks and it's not just relaxing and nice... it's wonderful.



Unfortunately, I started smoking again (tobacco) but this gives me more resolve to stop that shit. I've smoked about 5 cigars in the last few days after going on, and then taking off the patch, but I'm gonna figure out what it takes and I'm gonna go the distance.

Unfortunately, I've been on temazepam to sleep due to stress over what was then an *impending* death in the family. I've noticed I'm starting to have some working memory volatility so I'm not going to get my refill I decided.  ALSO, I gave the bottle to my dad so I wouldn't abuse it. I've even skipped nights where even though I would have liked the buzz, I knew I'd be able to sleep.

It was almost bizarre turning down being handed 2 benzos by my dad.

I'm not perfect though; I've drank (and to excess) about 4 times the last month, but nothing turns off alcohol's appeal like hangovers and physical symptoms the next day, so I'm going to try to just drink socially, plus I want to respect that my parents don't want drinking in the house.



Far from perfect, but now I see what you guys were all trying to tell me I can have if I quit throwing myself away.

I'm starting to feel tempted to use DXM again for the first time since I started this 3 month break, but people have reminded me it's important I go through with this and I honestly think I'm going to make it.

My parents too are super happy I'm not robotripping. They knew/know about the drinking at home excessively, but just said they don't want to deal with the consequences, and that's enough for me.


--------------------
Back, bitches.
st1lln0x: so i'm on weed, temazepam, adderall, dexedrine, dxm, dph, alcohol, nicotine, caffeine, tryptophan, GABA, and kratom
Cavemen_savemen: st1lln0x, do you feel like a robot yet?
st1lln0x: I feel like a fucking Gundam
Click to friend me on Steam for Counter-Strike
:crankey: IS LIFE SKULLFUCKING YOU!? HAVE SOME FREE MORALE! :awesomenod:
Click if you want to feel you alone can do it! Click if you want to feel confident and beastly! Click if you want courage to let go and move on! And click the message if you need someone to talk to -- I'll understand, even if we "hate" each other on here :hug: :sun:

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InvisibleSheekle
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Re: When you're not strung out and using drugs all the time... [Re: st1llnox] * 3
    #18900570 - 09/27/13 08:41 PM (10 years, 5 months ago)

inb4 everyone says "oh look another thread about st1llnox talking about drugs"


--------------------
"Ur cat died because he hated u" - Koods
"I hope JSB kicks your ass one day." - Vandago
"you are the biggest 'internet guy' I have ever come across"- Jokeshopbeard
"The more I see you post the more I realize you're just this fuckin tie dye loser who trolls the Shroomery 24/7." - Herbologist
"Sheekle you cannot vile the dice of bullshit you have posted on this forum over the years, I like databases" - thelastoneleft
"or maybe i just come from a blood line of superior intelligence" - trees

R.I.P Kelsy, ?/?/?? - 6/11/16

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InvisibleSheekle
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Re: When you're not strung out and using drugs all the time... [Re: st1llnox] * 1
    #18900572 - 09/27/13 08:41 PM (10 years, 5 months ago)

its good tho stillnox I love u and this thread is luxurious and beautiful and happy and good


--------------------
"Ur cat died because he hated u" - Koods
"I hope JSB kicks your ass one day." - Vandago
"you are the biggest 'internet guy' I have ever come across"- Jokeshopbeard
"The more I see you post the more I realize you're just this fuckin tie dye loser who trolls the Shroomery 24/7." - Herbologist
"Sheekle you cannot vile the dice of bullshit you have posted on this forum over the years, I like databases" - thelastoneleft
"or maybe i just come from a blood line of superior intelligence" - trees

R.I.P Kelsy, ?/?/?? - 6/11/16

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InvisibleSheekle
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Re: When you're not strung out and using drugs all the time... [Re: Sheekle]
    #18900582 - 09/27/13 08:42 PM (10 years, 5 months ago)

p.s it's good u layed off the drugs and stuff


--------------------
"Ur cat died because he hated u" - Koods
"I hope JSB kicks your ass one day." - Vandago
"you are the biggest 'internet guy' I have ever come across"- Jokeshopbeard
"The more I see you post the more I realize you're just this fuckin tie dye loser who trolls the Shroomery 24/7." - Herbologist
"Sheekle you cannot vile the dice of bullshit you have posted on this forum over the years, I like databases" - thelastoneleft
"or maybe i just come from a blood line of superior intelligence" - trees

R.I.P Kelsy, ?/?/?? - 6/11/16

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Offlinest1llnox
dx'd PTSD/ADHD--please don't ask
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Registered: 11/27/12
Posts: 7,312
Loc: 913 KANSAS CITY 816 Flag
Last seen: 5 years, 2 months
Re: When you're not strung out and using drugs all the time... [Re: Sheekle]
    #18900591 - 09/27/13 08:44 PM (10 years, 5 months ago)

Quote:

Sheekle said:
its good tho stillnox I love u and this thread is luxurious and beautiful and happy and good





:thumbup:


Yeah. I figured since a lot of people can't stop talking about me in other threads still aren't taking me very seriously [<--edit/fixed], it can't be that bad just to make a thread about it although most people on here don't make threads about themselves as much as me and several others do. :shrug:


I just think if anything, maybe some people here will be happy to know one of their forum-mates is enjoying his life a lot more :awebig:



If anyone wants to hate in this thread, they can suck my dick. Or not. Whichever one would bring them less joy :datass:


--------------------
Back, bitches.
st1lln0x: so i'm on weed, temazepam, adderall, dexedrine, dxm, dph, alcohol, nicotine, caffeine, tryptophan, GABA, and kratom
Cavemen_savemen: st1lln0x, do you feel like a robot yet?
st1lln0x: I feel like a fucking Gundam
Click to friend me on Steam for Counter-Strike
:crankey: IS LIFE SKULLFUCKING YOU!? HAVE SOME FREE MORALE! :awesomenod:
Click if you want to feel you alone can do it! Click if you want to feel confident and beastly! Click if you want courage to let go and move on! And click the message if you need someone to talk to -- I'll understand, even if we "hate" each other on here :hug: :sun:

Edited by st1llnox (09/27/13 08:57 PM)

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Offlineziggity
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Registered: 07/05/13
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Re: When you're not strung out and using drugs all the time... [Re: Sheekle]
    #18900609 - 09/27/13 08:48 PM (10 years, 5 months ago)

Shit... there's 2.4 grams of dried shrooms sitting on a plate about 10 feet away from me and I have absolutely no desire to ingest those mother fuckers...:shrug:

It's good that you're FINALLY off the drugs but I learned early in my teenage years that being high all the time has absolutely no benefits to accomplishing anything... It's like saying constantly eating would be beneficial to your day... Ummm no you'd be spending your time eating and not doing productive things...

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Invisiblesomething super extreme
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Registered: 10/29/12
Posts: 17,397
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Re: When you're not strung out and using drugs all the time... [Re: st1llnox] * 2
    #18900610 - 09/27/13 08:48 PM (10 years, 5 months ago)

Quote:

st1llnox said:
a lot of people can't stop talking about me





:lolsy:

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Offlinestarfire_xes
I Am 'They'
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Registered: 10/24/09
Posts: 21,590
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Re: When you're not strung out and using drugs all the time... [Re: st1llnox]
    #18900616 - 09/27/13 08:49 PM (10 years, 5 months ago)

i disagree.  Im a lot more stable, work better, feel better, and in general get in less trouble when i have a steady supply of central nervous system stimulants prescribed by a doctor.


--------------------
:smug: [/url][/url] 
:smirk: IF THE NEIGHBORS COMPLAIN BECAUSE THE MUSIC'S TOO LOUD, TURN IT UP SO YOU CAN'T HEAR THEM BITCH    :smirk:

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Offlinest1llnox
dx'd PTSD/ADHD--please don't ask
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Registered: 11/27/12
Posts: 7,312
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Re: When you're not strung out and using drugs all the time... [Re: something super extreme]
    #18900622 - 09/27/13 08:50 PM (10 years, 5 months ago)

Quote:

sVs said:
Quote:

st1llnox said:
a lot of people can't stop talking about me





:lolsy:





Fair enough :ohyou:. I should say instead that a lot of people still either have a hard time talking about me or seem to enjoy talking anonymously about me (and akira_akuma too, but his thread only got like half as many posts--neither of us started them).


--------------------
Back, bitches.
st1lln0x: so i'm on weed, temazepam, adderall, dexedrine, dxm, dph, alcohol, nicotine, caffeine, tryptophan, GABA, and kratom
Cavemen_savemen: st1lln0x, do you feel like a robot yet?
st1lln0x: I feel like a fucking Gundam
Click to friend me on Steam for Counter-Strike
:crankey: IS LIFE SKULLFUCKING YOU!? HAVE SOME FREE MORALE! :awesomenod:
Click if you want to feel you alone can do it! Click if you want to feel confident and beastly! Click if you want courage to let go and move on! And click the message if you need someone to talk to -- I'll understand, even if we "hate" each other on here :hug: :sun:

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Offlinestarfire_xes
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Registered: 10/24/09
Posts: 21,590
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Re: When you're not strung out and using drugs all the time... [Re: st1llnox]
    #18900626 - 09/27/13 08:52 PM (10 years, 5 months ago)

Quote:

st1llnox said:

Yeah. I figured since a lot of people can't stop talking about me in other threads,





Oh fuck man.  Can you send me transcripts of your other threads?  I'm a fan.  :smirk:


--------------------
:smug: [/url][/url] 
:smirk: IF THE NEIGHBORS COMPLAIN BECAUSE THE MUSIC'S TOO LOUD, TURN IT UP SO YOU CAN'T HEAR THEM BITCH    :smirk:

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Offlinest1llnox
dx'd PTSD/ADHD--please don't ask
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Registered: 11/27/12
Posts: 7,312
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Re: When you're not strung out and using drugs all the time... [Re: starfire_xes]
    #18900638 - 09/27/13 08:54 PM (10 years, 5 months ago)

Quote:

starfire_xes said:
i disagree.  Im a lot more stable, work better, feel better, and in general get in less trouble when i have a steady supply of central nervous system stimulants prescribed by a doctor.




No, I actually agree with you there too. I'm back on my Adderall and I think it's helping me a lot in the ways you described.

It's less stressful when you're on top of things/not behind, and now I'm able to alleviate boredom by opening up myself to proper intellectual stimulation like math instead of dumbing myself down so I'm not bored. I think both of these contributed to me losing a lot, not all, but a lot of my interest in drugs.

The way you (it sounds) and I use amphetamines has little to nothing to do with recreational drugs, and certainly doesn't constitute being "strung out" brodawg :highfive:
Quote:

starfire_xes said:
Quote:

st1llnox said:

Yeah. I figured since a lot of people can't stop talking about me in other threads,





Oh fuck man.  Can you send me transcripts of your other threads?  I'm a fan.  :smirk:





Haha I already mostly retracted that. I still need to work on not exaggerating and trying to make myself seem important. Just be less ego-ey in general, but I bet once I'm a ways into my new "real" job that I'm not going to feel nearly as much need to puff up my ego and that my wounded pride will heal :aweyeah:

Things getting better is a welcome change :awesomenod:


--------------------
Back, bitches.
st1lln0x: so i'm on weed, temazepam, adderall, dexedrine, dxm, dph, alcohol, nicotine, caffeine, tryptophan, GABA, and kratom
Cavemen_savemen: st1lln0x, do you feel like a robot yet?
st1lln0x: I feel like a fucking Gundam
Click to friend me on Steam for Counter-Strike
:crankey: IS LIFE SKULLFUCKING YOU!? HAVE SOME FREE MORALE! :awesomenod:
Click if you want to feel you alone can do it! Click if you want to feel confident and beastly! Click if you want courage to let go and move on! And click the message if you need someone to talk to -- I'll understand, even if we "hate" each other on here :hug: :sun:

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Offlinest1llnox
dx'd PTSD/ADHD--please don't ask
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Registered: 11/27/12
Posts: 7,312
Loc: 913 KANSAS CITY 816 Flag
Last seen: 5 years, 2 months
Re: When you're not strung out and using drugs all the time... [Re: st1llnox]
    #18900642 - 09/27/13 08:55 PM (10 years, 5 months ago)

Starfire, if you're lucky and ever become royalty, maybe I'll give you an iPod pre-loaded with all my threads :wink:


--------------------
Back, bitches.
st1lln0x: so i'm on weed, temazepam, adderall, dexedrine, dxm, dph, alcohol, nicotine, caffeine, tryptophan, GABA, and kratom
Cavemen_savemen: st1lln0x, do you feel like a robot yet?
st1lln0x: I feel like a fucking Gundam
Click to friend me on Steam for Counter-Strike
:crankey: IS LIFE SKULLFUCKING YOU!? HAVE SOME FREE MORALE! :awesomenod:
Click if you want to feel you alone can do it! Click if you want to feel confident and beastly! Click if you want courage to let go and move on! And click the message if you need someone to talk to -- I'll understand, even if we "hate" each other on here :hug: :sun:

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Offlineakira_akuma
Φύσις κρύπτεσθαι ὕψιστος φιλεῖ


Registered: 08/28/09
Posts: 82,455
Loc: Onypeirophóros
Last seen: 4 years, 2 months
Re: When you're not strung out and using drugs all the time... [Re: starfire_xes]
    #18900644 - 09/27/13 08:56 PM (10 years, 5 months ago)

ok, stillnox, the shroomery is your new drug. as long as you're not talking about how Drug X is so good and this and that...  it'll be a whole new thang to just do you... and by that i mean, just keep your exploits to yourself, and that is unless you have got some particularly juicy stuff for the Shroomery to chew on.

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Offlinest1llnox
dx'd PTSD/ADHD--please don't ask
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Registered: 11/27/12
Posts: 7,312
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Last seen: 5 years, 2 months
Re: When you're not strung out and using drugs all the time... [Re: akira_akuma]
    #18900686 - 09/27/13 09:06 PM (10 years, 5 months ago)

Quote:

akira_akuma said:
ok, stillnox, the shroomery is your new drug. as long as you're not talking about how Drug X is so good and this and that...  it'll be a whole new thang to just do you... and by that i mean, just keep your exploits to yourself, and that is unless you have got some particularly juicy stuff for the Shroomery to chew on.





Fo sho'. You may notice I've been working on getting back to my old posting days where I try to make my threads more a chance to learn about each other more or express our opinions on a certain topic.

If people want a text-based sitcom-"A&E Intervention" hybrid, they're probably on conductdisorders.com and not the shroomery.



There's no good reason to keep people's exploits to themselves, but we're a fucking psychedelics community so you're mostly right: it's only gonna be a good contribution to the shroomery if it's really juicy.

Can't wait to try shrooms :aweyeah:  I'm gonna post about that tho, sorry :wink:


--------------------
Back, bitches.
st1lln0x: so i'm on weed, temazepam, adderall, dexedrine, dxm, dph, alcohol, nicotine, caffeine, tryptophan, GABA, and kratom
Cavemen_savemen: st1lln0x, do you feel like a robot yet?
st1lln0x: I feel like a fucking Gundam
Click to friend me on Steam for Counter-Strike
:crankey: IS LIFE SKULLFUCKING YOU!? HAVE SOME FREE MORALE! :awesomenod:
Click if you want to feel you alone can do it! Click if you want to feel confident and beastly! Click if you want courage to let go and move on! And click the message if you need someone to talk to -- I'll understand, even if we "hate" each other on here :hug: :sun:

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Offlineakira_akuma
Φύσις κρύπτεσθαι ὕψιστος φιλεῖ


Registered: 08/28/09
Posts: 82,455
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Last seen: 4 years, 2 months
Re: When you're not strung out and using drugs all the time... [Re: st1llnox]
    #18900704 - 09/27/13 09:10 PM (10 years, 5 months ago)

no, but that's something juicy though. it's something different for everybody. :shrug:

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Offlinestarfire_xes
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Posts: 21,590
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Re: When you're not strung out and using drugs all the time... [Re: st1llnox]
    #18900712 - 09/27/13 09:13 PM (10 years, 5 months ago)

Quote:

st1llnox said:
Starfire, if you're lucky and ever become royalty, maybe I'll give you an iPod pre-loaded with all my threads :wink:




I actually red-assed you in one of your Body Building type forums becaue I used to BB a lot (yo asked me if I lifted ever) fuck thats all you do on a navy ship.


--------------------
:smug: [/url][/url] 
:smirk: IF THE NEIGHBORS COMPLAIN BECAUSE THE MUSIC'S TOO LOUD, TURN IT UP SO YOU CAN'T HEAR THEM BITCH    :smirk:

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Offlinest1llnox
dx'd PTSD/ADHD--please don't ask
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Registered: 11/27/12
Posts: 7,312
Loc: 913 KANSAS CITY 816 Flag
Last seen: 5 years, 2 months
Re: When you're not strung out and using drugs all the time... [Re: akira_akuma]
    #18900725 - 09/27/13 09:15 PM (10 years, 5 months ago)

No what?

And yeah, that's something else we'd all do well to realize.

The people in your (explosion icon) threads that think it's worthless just didn't belong there to begin with since it wasn't something they were interested in, but you still have to think about whether you're actually gonna make the shroomery more interesting or if you're just diluting it. :shrug:


--------------------
Back, bitches.
st1lln0x: so i'm on weed, temazepam, adderall, dexedrine, dxm, dph, alcohol, nicotine, caffeine, tryptophan, GABA, and kratom
Cavemen_savemen: st1lln0x, do you feel like a robot yet?
st1lln0x: I feel like a fucking Gundam
Click to friend me on Steam for Counter-Strike
:crankey: IS LIFE SKULLFUCKING YOU!? HAVE SOME FREE MORALE! :awesomenod:
Click if you want to feel you alone can do it! Click if you want to feel confident and beastly! Click if you want courage to let go and move on! And click the message if you need someone to talk to -- I'll understand, even if we "hate" each other on here :hug: :sun:

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Offlineakira_akuma
Φύσις κρύπτεσθαι ὕψιστος φιλεῖ


Registered: 08/28/09
Posts: 82,455
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Re: When you're not strung out and using drugs all the time... [Re: st1llnox]
    #18900745 - 09/27/13 09:19 PM (10 years, 5 months ago)

no what?  no, post about that, man.

(and yeah, diluting the shroomery is a sin.)

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Offlinepcplease
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Re: When you're not strung out and using drugs all the time... [Re: starfire_xes]
    #18900781 - 09/27/13 09:25 PM (10 years, 5 months ago)

IMO feeling/being in control, be it drug use, diet, or lifestyle in general, is one of the greatest and most effect natural "antidepressants" there is. Its such an empowering feeling for me, that seems to translate perfectly into confidence and drive/ambition.
:thumbup:
:sun:


--------------------

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Offlinest1llnox
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Re: When you're not strung out and using drugs all the time... [Re: pcplease]
    #18900789 - 09/27/13 09:27 PM (10 years, 5 months ago)

Quote:

pcplease said:
IMO feeling/being in control, be it drug use, diet, or lifestyle in general, is one of the greatest and most effect natural "antidepressants" there is. Its such an empowering feeling for me, that seems to translate perfectly into confidence and drive/ambition.
:thumbup:
:sun:





Dude well fucking said! :thumbup: :manofapproval:



I'll bet a lot of the drive/ambition comes from not being behind/feeling helpless when you're in control and on top of shit :aweyeah:


--------------------
Back, bitches.
st1lln0x: so i'm on weed, temazepam, adderall, dexedrine, dxm, dph, alcohol, nicotine, caffeine, tryptophan, GABA, and kratom
Cavemen_savemen: st1lln0x, do you feel like a robot yet?
st1lln0x: I feel like a fucking Gundam
Click to friend me on Steam for Counter-Strike
:crankey: IS LIFE SKULLFUCKING YOU!? HAVE SOME FREE MORALE! :awesomenod:
Click if you want to feel you alone can do it! Click if you want to feel confident and beastly! Click if you want courage to let go and move on! And click the message if you need someone to talk to -- I'll understand, even if we "hate" each other on here :hug: :sun:

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