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Anonymous #1

Step bro cheated on his soon to be wife with different women
    #18896045 - 09/26/13 09:13 PM (10 years, 4 months ago)

My step brother hasn't told his fiance that he cheated on her quite a few times throughout the relationship and with different women. He wants me to be the best man, but I feel bad for this girl and don't want to wish him any luck in his fucked up life. They started dating in high school when he was 18 and she was 15 and now they are 22 and 19 respectively. My step brother is someone who after knowing for 8 years I can confidently say he is probably a psychopath.

Example of why I think he's a psychopath:
When we were younger he would do weird shit and seriously did things that would suggest he did not care about the damage he was doing. He would wake up in the middle of the night and pretend to be possessed and speak in toungs or some shit (his Mom beat him for reading Harry Potter) and seriously was trying to freak the shit out of my while I was trying to sleep. He was verbally and emotionally (sometimes physically) abusive toward his sisters and would make an actual effort to hurt their feelings and make them cry. He'd call them fat and ugly and tell them that no one is going to like them. He'd always do shit to them when they were in the car with him. He'd randomly stop the car and turn around and scream in his little sisters face, some sort of demonic scream. He did stupid shit like this 24/7. He'd seriously jizz and try to wipe it on me and laugh. Or try and wipe boogers on me or some stupid shit. I had to physically beat him and lose control while doing it for him to stop being a douche bag.
  One trait of his that especially bothered me was how he spoke to people early on in his life. He called his Mom upstairs just to ask her for a snowboard. When she said no, he told her "okay, you can leave now." He'd always speak rudely to his GF and say shit like "fine then, I guess I'll just leave your ass" and say it seriously. Not only that, but he's ALWAYS manipulating people. I have never seen him do something that I could not perceive as manipulation. He's just no good! The mother fucker sold my 360 I left at his house because he thought I didn't want it. If I had a phd in psychology then I could actually say without a doubt that he is a psychopath. If he's not, he definitely acts like it.


I'm basically venting, but what would someone else do in my situation with a third person view? I don't want to be that guy who goes behind the other guys back and tells his girl friend shit and ruins the relationship/marriage. I also don't want to see this girl waste anymore years of her life with my low life scum of a step brother. However, I partially feel that his fiance deserves the hell that she is in now and that she will be in for sticking with him. It's just that I know she's very insecure and has a low self esteem so she probably thinks she can't do any better or some shit.

there is other drama regarding his Mom and my family, but that's another story. I try to talk to my step bro because my Dad is married to his Mom and I don't want to ruin it for my Dad either by saying something fucked up. Though My Dad has lived in a different house for a year so I'm not sure if it matters anymore, though he FINALLY wants to try counseling after 8 years of shit (that is mostly his fault)

it should be noted that my Step bro knows how to behave outside the house and when his girl friend is around. She hasn't seen just how fucked up he really is.


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InvisibleMystiqueMushroom

Registered: 11/01/11
Posts: 4,737
Loc: PNW
Re: Step bro cheated on his soon to be wife with different women [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #18896076 - 09/26/13 09:19 PM (10 years, 4 months ago)

Time for people to start speaking their minds! No more hiding shit, do what you think is right.


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Offlineitchmynipple
;)

Registered: 05/28/12
Posts: 1,660
Last seen: 10 years, 1 month
Re: Step bro cheated on his soon to be wife with different women [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #18896158 - 09/26/13 09:37 PM (10 years, 4 months ago)

Quote:

Anonymous said:
My step brother hasn't told his fiance that he cheated on her quite a few times throughout the relationship and with different women. He wants me to be the best man, but I feel bad for this girl and don't want to wish him any luck in his fucked up life. They started dating in high school when he was 18 and she was 15 and now they are 22 and 19 respectively. My step brother is someone who after knowing for 8 years I can confidently say he is probably a psychopath.

Example of why I think he's a psychopath:
When we were younger he would do weird shit and seriously did things that would suggest he did not care about the damage he was doing. He would wake up in the middle of the night and pretend to be possessed and speak in toungs or some shit (his Mom beat him for reading Harry Potter) and seriously was trying to freak the shit out of my while I was trying to sleep. He was verbally and emotionally (sometimes physically) abusive toward his sisters and would make an actual effort to hurt their feelings and make them cry. He'd call them fat and ugly and tell them that no one is going to like them. He'd always do shit to them when they were in the car with him. He'd randomly stop the car and turn around and scream in his little sisters face, some sort of demonic scream. He did stupid shit like this 24/7. He'd seriously jizz and try to wipe it on me and laugh. Or try and wipe boogers on me or some stupid shit. I had to physically beat him and lose control while doing it for him to stop being a douche bag.
  One trait of his that especially bothered me was how he spoke to people early on in his life. He called his Mom upstairs just to ask her for a snowboard. When she said no, he told her "okay, you can leave now." He'd always speak rudely to his GF and say shit like "fine then, I guess I'll just leave your ass" and say it seriously. Not only that, but he's ALWAYS manipulating people. I have never seen him do something that I could not perceive as manipulation. He's just no good! The mother fucker sold my 360 I left at his house because he thought I didn't want it. If I had a phd in psychology then I could actually say without a doubt that he is a psychopath. If he's not, he definitely acts like it.


I'm basically venting, but what would someone else do in my situation with a third person view? I don't want to be that guy who goes behind the other guys back and tells his girl friend shit and ruins the relationship/marriage. I also don't want to see this girl waste anymore years of her life with my low life scum of a step brother. However, I partially feel that his fiance deserves the hell that she is in now and that she will be in for sticking with him. It's just that I know she's very insecure and has a low self esteem so she probably thinks she can't do any better or some shit.

there is other drama regarding his Mom and my family, but that's another story. I try to talk to my step bro because my Dad is married to his Mom and I don't want to ruin it for my Dad either by saying something fucked up. Though My Dad has lived in a different house for a year so I'm not sure if it matters anymore, though he FINALLY wants to try counseling after 8 years of shit (that is mostly his fault)

it should be noted that my Step bro knows how to behave outside the house and when his girl friend is around. She hasn't seen just how fucked up he really is.




Lol dont let these people lie a lie.

after a certain time, all classified and hidden material needs to be declassified to prevent further disaster.


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OfflineSagescruffy
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Re: Step bro cheated on his soon to be wife with different women [Re: itchmynipple] * 1
    #18896241 - 09/26/13 09:53 PM (10 years, 4 months ago)

Yeah I suppose. I am somewhat afraid that he would legitmately kill me though lol he also has anger issues

and there goes anon


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Love.


Edited by Sagescruffy (09/26/13 09:54 PM)


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Offlineitchmynipple
;)

Registered: 05/28/12
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Re: Step bro cheated on his soon to be wife with different women [Re: Sagescruffy]
    #18896273 - 09/26/13 10:01 PM (10 years, 4 months ago)

i meant to say live a lie*

and yeah lol, well its not goingto last anyways, i mean he sounds like he's careless and will get caught someday - he sounds like a pathetic example for someone who is getting married and what is wrong with the society of today so i say slam the breaks asap!. do it tomorrow, better yet tonight, maybe she will give you something in return ;] jk lol.. but ive heard of things like it.

honestly man, i think your good, just be around people who can help defend you if a situation occurred. keep a pocket knife in your pocket and a bat in your home/car.

IF YOU TELL HER, you must make her understand that this is to the literal extent, 'For her' benefit, and if she puts you under the bus, thats just fuckin cold' and super fucked up.

listen to that song 'no lie' by drake..

its like, real nigga say word aint ever told no lie, aint ever told no lie, real nigga say true, aint ever told no lie. haha lol


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OfflineSagescruffy
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Re: Step bro cheated on his soon to be wife with different women [Re: itchmynipple]
    #18896299 - 09/26/13 10:08 PM (10 years, 4 months ago)

yeah I hear you guys. Thanks for the responses. For whatever reason I feel apprehensive about saying anything. They just got engaged last month too

Things have got to resolve themselves without interference, this is something I'm caught up on. I'm split between not interfering and driving to her house and talking to her. Driving to her house is probably my only option since he checks her fb and email (he's also controlling)


--------------------
Love.


Edited by Sagescruffy (09/26/13 10:17 PM)


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InvisibleMystiqueMushroom

Registered: 11/01/11
Posts: 4,737
Loc: PNW
Re: Step bro cheated on his soon to be wife with different women [Re: Sagescruffy]
    #18896346 - 09/26/13 10:16 PM (10 years, 4 months ago)

She's probably just as lost/confused as your half-brother, even if you said anything it likely wont affect the situation. They will have to learn from the experience.


--------------------
https://youtu.be/np5Oi1dyO1k


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OfflineSagescruffy
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Re: Step bro cheated on his soon to be wife with different women [Re: MystiqueMushroom]
    #18896376 - 09/26/13 10:22 PM (10 years, 4 months ago)

I also share a similar view in that this is their life, their lesson to learn, their mistake. It would cause a lot of problems and this really isn't any of my business since I don't hang around there anymore and rarely talk to the guy. I don't see him as even a friend and it's been this way for a while. I try and be nice since I see my Dads intent to remain married.

What if they get married and have kids and then they have a terrible divorce and their kids have a shitty life? I could potentially prevent that


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Love.


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Offlineitchmynipple
;)

Registered: 05/28/12
Posts: 1,660
Last seen: 10 years, 1 month
Re: Step bro cheated on his soon to be wife with different women [Re: Sagescruffy]
    #18896418 - 09/26/13 10:33 PM (10 years, 4 months ago)

Quote:

Sagescruffy said:
yeah I hear you guys. Thanks for the responses. For whatever reason I feel apprehensive about saying anything. They just got engaged last month too

Things have got to resolve themselves without interference, this is something I'm caught up on. I'm split between not interfering and driving to her house and talking to her. Driving to her house is probably my only option since he checks her fb and email (he's also controlling)




Theres a easier way to go about this, take someone with you who knows, and confront your step-brother and tell him two outcomes can happen. she is goingto find out from him himself, or You. make that clear to him that you are notbulging. do it on the phone, try to ease in on it first and see if he's at all open to it since marriage is suppose to be a real commitment not for fakes.

whatever you do, let this poor girl have a chance, and do her a favor. your doing your step brother a favor. he won't learn his lesson. he will be sad for a few months but its because he fucked up - everytime he says i love you to her, she thinks she's the only person he was holding the same way when he says that. its terribly sad to see someones life get wasted away like that. its like wow! 'that step brother knew all along about that guys affairs and never said anything to her and wasted not 1 year but 5 or 10, as if 6 months isn't already way to prolonged! what a dick! lol get it?

your step-brother might be mad, but he might thank you later on. who he is right now - is not a good faithful lover and he seems very, very lost also. unfortunately he does not deserve forgiveness unless directly from her. by not telling her i assume you forgive him- instead of letting the lover herself do that.


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OfflineSagescruffy
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Re: Step bro cheated on his soon to be wife with different women [Re: itchmynipple]
    #18896494 - 09/26/13 10:51 PM (10 years, 4 months ago)

You bring up a nice point. I am one of the few people who knows anything about the situation. The girls he cheated with know, but I don't know how to reach them. I'm thinking a good way to do this would be to create a situation where I can ask him about his cheating and if his GF knows. I could  just send her a fb message and hope he doesn't read it, though she will probably show it to him in disbelief.


--------------------
Love.


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Invisibleunknown1123
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Re: Step bro cheated on his soon to be wife with different women [Re: Sagescruffy]
    #18896511 - 09/26/13 10:56 PM (10 years, 4 months ago)

btdubs, you are no longer anon :wink:


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Invisibleunknown1123
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Re: Step bro cheated on his soon to be wife with different women [Re: unknown1123]
    #18896531 - 09/26/13 11:00 PM (10 years, 4 months ago)

Oh and by the way, don't do this over FB, Email, TXT, even phone calls. If you are going to do it, man up. She deserves to hear it from you face to face, she is going to be very emotionally, if she's normal, and it would be good for you to be there and help her til she's fine to be left alone.

She was 15 when this first started and only 19 now. She hasn't felt heart break or experienced it before and has grown immensely over that period of 4 years. So it'd be best to console her after the news so nothing extremely drastic happens immediately afterwards.


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OfflineSagescruffy
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Re: Step bro cheated on his soon to be wife with different women [Re: unknown1123]
    #18896571 - 09/26/13 11:09 PM (10 years, 4 months ago)

Yeah that's what I was thinking. Plus it's a lot easier to explain things in person. I am still unsure whether I'm in the right to go talk to her about it. It is and was her decision to be with my step brother. There is a consequence for the choices we make. So I'm questioning if it's my place to do anything. I've come to understand that most of the time you just gotta let people mess up. I've tried to help so many people and it never works out when I'm the one who wants to help them. People who need/want help will search it out from what I understand. Though I do think it's shitty that he's lying to her and telling her "I love you babe" with the knowledge that he has had sex with multiple women while dating his soon to be wife. His cheating was spread out too, it wasn't just some spree. Granted, to my knowledge he has been faithful for the last 1-2.5 years.


--------------------
Love.


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Invisibleunknown1123
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Re: Step bro cheated on his soon to be wife with different women [Re: Sagescruffy]
    #18896669 - 09/26/13 11:34 PM (10 years, 4 months ago)

let it be i guess. you may be stressing about it too much for your own good. Take a step back and distance yourself from the problem.


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Offlineitchmynipple
;)

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Re: Step bro cheated on his soon to be wife with different women [Re: Sagescruffy]
    #18896966 - 09/27/13 12:51 AM (10 years, 4 months ago)

Quote:

Sagescruffy said:
You bring up a nice point. I am one of the few people who knows anything about the situation. The girls he cheated with know, but I don't know how to reach them. I'm thinking a good way to do this would be to create a situation where I can ask him about his cheating and if his GF knows. I could  just send her a fb message and hope he doesn't read it, though she will probably show it to him in disbelief.




do not risk that - someone already stated why.

you should tell her you need to talk to her asap, and not to tell your step-brother because its regarding him. give her the 'proof' if you have this, if not just tell her if you wish but i would get proof - again its important she understands this is not an issue with you - this is an issue between herself and her future husband, and you are just a messenger who is doing Her a HUGE favor before her life is thrown into further turmoil later on.

depending on how convincing and emotional you are to her will decide if she says your name, even then 75 percent chance she says your name lol, but if you can come up with a strategy, look her in the eye as deadset as you can, and tell her very seriously
" im doing this for you. do not put me under the bus, do not betray my trust "


there is a easy way to get proof. even if it sounds dick, you Must be in a joking around mood when recording him admitting to cheating as proof to her. you should get the Proof before you tell her. but please indead record it on your phone. atleast a couple of minutes, of him talkin about it, just something Key to prove to her that there was atleast one or multiple accounters with females. maybe like a question like so your gettin married man, no more 1 night stands " (with a laugh) n then " did any of the girls while you were with fuck better in bed then girl your marrying" Do not fuck up the recording. if he explains which girl, ask when the fuck was that haha"

you get where im goin with this.. your a secret agent now buddy lol..


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Offlineteamkiller
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Re: Step bro cheated on his soon to be wife with different women [Re: itchmynipple]
    #18897382 - 09/27/13 03:54 AM (10 years, 4 months ago)

just ignore it.

let her get married and have 2 kids back to back.  she'll get fat and he'll leave her.  Then no one will want to date her since she's fat with 2 kids, probably living with her parents, so she'll get a cat and take up some stupid hobby like knitting.  Then when she's like 48 and her kids hate her and never talk to her and she's sitting by herself with her cats feeling lonely after striking out on craigslist she'll suddenly have a moment of perfect clarity.  She'll understand the nature of causality and the interplay between desire and suffering. She'll be temporarily enlightened and her whole life will mean something beautiful and irreplaceable.


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Anonymous #2

Re: Step bro cheated on his soon to be wife with different women [Re: teamkiller]
    #18898045 - 09/27/13 10:18 AM (10 years, 4 months ago)

Quote:

teamkiller said:
just ignore it.

let her get married and have 2 kids back to back.  she'll get fat and he'll leave her.  Then no one will want to date her since she's fat with 2 kids, probably living with her parents, so she'll get a cat and take up some stupid hobby like knitting.  Then when she's like 48 and her kids hate her and never talk to her and she's sitting by herself with her cats feeling lonely after striking out on craigslist she'll suddenly have a moment of perfect clarity.  She'll understand the nature of causality and the interplay between desire and suffering. She'll be temporarily enlightened and her whole life will mean something beautiful and irreplaceable.




[Mod edit: No using the anonymous feature to troll S&R]


Edited by tymoteusz3 (09/29/13 05:55 PM)


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Offlineqman
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Re: Step bro cheated on his soon to be wife with different women [Re: Anonymous #2] * 1
    #18898239 - 09/27/13 11:24 AM (10 years, 4 months ago)

Mind your own business OP, she might not even believe you, then you become the asshole of the family.

She's an adult, let her figure it out for herself, don't try to be a hero.


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InvisibleMystiqueMushroom

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Re: Step bro cheated on his soon to be wife with different women [Re: qman]
    #18898533 - 09/27/13 12:40 PM (10 years, 4 months ago)

Everything happens for a reason.


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https://youtu.be/np5Oi1dyO1k


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OfflineIoRhinz
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Re: Step bro cheated on his soon to be wife with different women [Re: Anonymous #2]
    #18907975 - 09/29/13 05:14 PM (10 years, 3 months ago)

Quote:

Anonymous said:
Quote:

teamkiller said:
just ignore it.

let her get married and have 2 kids back to back.  she'll get fat and he'll leave her.  Then no one will want to date her since she's fat with 2 kids, probably living with her parents, so she'll get a cat and take up some stupid hobby like knitting.  Then when she's like 48 and her kids hate her and never talk to her and she's sitting by herself with her cats feeling lonely after striking out on craigslist she'll suddenly have a moment of perfect clarity.  She'll understand the nature of causality and the interplay between desire and suffering. She'll be temporarily enlightened and her whole life will mean something beautiful and irreplaceable.




thats why u should end it




That was fucking epic.


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OfflineRewindicus
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Re: Step bro cheated on his soon to be wife with different women [Re: IoRhinz]
    #18908668 - 09/29/13 07:48 PM (10 years, 3 months ago)

Id tell her. Or at the least shoot her a letter that way she cant say she wasnt warned. Your brother sounds like a dipshit. I wouldnt be able to stand around watching her and undoubtedly her kids get abused by your brother.



This isnt about being a hero its about doing the right thing.


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“Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind.”- Dr. Seuss

"Too much of a good thing, can be wonderful!" - Mae West

"If you have nothing nice to say about anyone, come sit next to me."
- Alice Roosevelt Longworth





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Offlinekinkaku
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Re: Step bro cheated on his soon to be wife with different women [Re: Rewindicus]
    #18911023 - 09/30/13 12:03 PM (10 years, 3 months ago)

would a lawyer walk into court without any evidence on the other guy? no. when I was younger I grew up in a bad neighborhood and I was a pro at manipulating people and their feelings to get what I wanted. I have since moved to the country and grew up,found a nice girl to. so speaking from experience whatever you do, make sure you can prove it:thumbup: if you cant he will flip it around on you like no tomorrow.


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