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OfflineGiggleBlizzard
Stranger

Registered: 09/26/13
Posts: 15
Last seen: 2 months, 27 days
Liberty Caps: A First Time Experience
    #18894659 - 09/26/13 03:45 PM (10 years, 4 months ago)

Before I begin to describe my experience, I will provide some general background information that I consider relevant to the report. Also, during the trip I not only lost track of time but I lost time itself, so it's not as easy to remember the trip in chronological order, so about halfway through the report I write that from there on I can no longer be sure of in which order things happened.

Gender: Male
Previous drug experiences: Cannabis(often), Alcohol(every now and then), Coffein(often), Tramadol(As a painkiller at age 15 and recreationally once), Some cough medicine opiate(once), Nicotine (Every now and then).
History of Mental Health: Anxiety and bad depression between age 12-15, after I began in a new school at age 15 my depression got better, but is still present today.
Dosage: Unspecified in weight, 55 dried liberty caps that had been picked two days before the trip.
Trip Sitters: Two friends. I will use placeholder names. “Jay” had tripped on mushrooms before, “Cal” had experienced it in smaller doses. Both smoked hashish during the evening.
Other Relevant Information: Note that this is my first time on any psychedelic. I had only had about an hour sleep the night before the day I took the shrooms. I smoked hashish in combination with the shrooms.

Before the trip:
I arrived at Jays apartment at about 19.00. Jay and Cal had been in town nearby to buy a 360 and GTA V so not only was I going to trip for the first time, we were gonna play GTA V for the first time. Because of this I was not the only one who was excited, and I think that was very important because it helped keeping up a good mood among us which I’d say is very important for anyone who wants to trip for the first time.

Jay showed me a bedroom and told me that at anytime during the night if I wanted to, I could go in there and be by myself if I wanted to think or listen to music or whatever. He also kept telling me that if I felt like telling them what was going on, I should feel free to share my experiences. I did not really understand why he did all of this, but I trusted him and kept listening to his advice, trying to take it to heart. Personally I had prepared during the day by making myself excited and getting my spirit up because I wanted to have a good attitude when going on the trip.

We made tea on the shrooms, and I began drinking it at about 19.30 and finished it at about 19.45. After this I took hits of hashish using the serpentine method. This was enough to get me comfortable but not high. My friends took a few more hits. We went into the living room and put on some music while Jay began setting up the new 360 and installed GTA V on it.

The Trip:
I began feeling something after about 30 minutes of consuming the tea (So around 20.15), like a tingle, but I couldn’t place it on my body - it was more like my mind was tingling - but I couldn’t tell if it was just placebo or perhaps just the cannabis. Cal picked up a small ball with a linear pattern - one of Jays cats toys - and threw it at me, I picked it up and thought it felt pretty good to hold so I kept with me throughout the whole trip, I didn’t know why it just kinda felt right to keep it with me - it acted a bit like a reality check for me during the trip.

At around 20.45 I was sure I was feeling the shrooms. I felt very good, very positive and while I didn’t have any hallucinations if I looked at a place on the wall where the bookcase kinda stood it seemed perfectly realistic that the bookcase would move out of the way by itself and show a doorway or something. I also noticed that when I played around with the small ball in my hand, that my hands felt distant to me. I suddenly began feeling the urge to share my experiences - I now realised why my friend had told me not to hesitate if I wanted to talk about it - so I began talking to them about it. It was hard to explain, the most accurate word I used was “Strange”. They were playing GTA V now and I was just lying in the couch facinated by what I was experiencing, GTA V seemed completely uninteresting to me. I also kept telling them “I understand now”, implying many things but mostly that this was not what I had expected.

I wasn’t really paying attention to the time but I’m guessing it was about 21.00-21.15 and I had to go pee. I went to the bathroom and sat down on the toilet and suddenly it really became clear to me how affected I was by the shrooms. I got kinda scared, though feelings seemed distant and unimportant to my state of mind. I tried peeing, but it was hard to “let go” of the pee so I decided maybe I didn’t need to pee. I stood up, flushed and washed my hands and then decided that I did have to pee, and did the same thing again, now I manged to pee.

I went back to my friends and sat down in the couch and kept trying to explain to them what I was experiencing. Now time began slowing down or rather, began disappearing - I could no longer understand the concept of time, it seemed distant and unfamiliar. This is where things begin to blur for me, and you will forgive me if I don’t mention time from now on or if things are not in chronological order. Anyway, I remember that I kept using words like “harmony” and “symmetry” when telling my friend how I felt, because that is exactly what it felt like. After a while, the words I spoke didn’t sound right to me, the words kinda warped around themselves as if I wasn’t pronouncing it right, but my friends didn’t notice and their words also warped. This continued to the extent where suddenly language and math seemed like the same thing, and I’m pretty sure I told my friends “I don’t understand the concept of math”. It occured to me that I was saying the same things over and over again so I asked cal “Woah, I’m repeating myself am I not?” - struggling with the pronouncation of the word “repeating” - but he assured me I wasn’t. Odd.

The only actual hallucination I had during the night was when I went to the bathroom a second time which is blurry to me and I remember looking down at the floor and seeing it as a stonewall with some gothic pattern on it - but only for a split second, because when I blinked it returned to normal. My pupils were wide.

I took another hit of hashish at probably somewhere in between 21.45-22.00 but had troubles because I had forgotten how to do it, in the end I managed it though. Now I began peaking.

I’m pretty sure I had an out of body experience. While normally I would consider my counsciousness to be ME and my body as an extension through which I experience the universe, but now I was the universe and my counsciousness was merely an extension. It was like I took a step back in some other dimension and saw things from a perspective I had never experienced before.

In this state of existance my feelings and urges disappeared and things were no longer complex - the universe aka me aka everything seemed to consist of a constant fight between Positive and Negative, where Positive meant feeling good and sane and Negative was hell itself and insanity. I struggled throughout the trip to keep myself on the positive side but I could always feel the negative side trying to break loose and consume me - I knew I could not let it because that would mean madness and dispair. It was the most intense experience in my entire life. I recall that there were times when the goodness faded and I felt like I close to falling into the darkness - during these times I opened my eyes of reality and looked at Cal who seemed mellow and sad, and I knew I had to do something because if he didn’t feel happy then nothing in the entire universe was happy, I wasn’t happy - so I interacted with him, threw a joke at him or something and everytime I did it ended with him smiling or laughing, reassuring me he was alright - and I could calm down.

Sometime now, Jay asked me if I wanted to go to the bedroom and I was so lost within myself I just said yes and followed Jay there. Jays cat was also there, and he asked me if I wanted it to stay - and I couldn’t really comprehend the situation so I just agreed to it. This was perhaps a mistake, because as I lay there on the bed and looked at the cat - it’s face, perfectly symmetric - I swear it knew. It looked right into my soul, it touched it, right there. I tried desperately to write a message to a friend on steam through my cellphone, but I just wasn’t capable of doing it, but I needed to do a reality check cause I felt that I was losing the Positive-Negative fight and felt the darkness creep in on me. After sometime I gave up and decided to try to go back to my friends - that may seem like the obvious thing to do but in my mind that idea didn’t even occur cause I was so lost.

So, I went back to my friends, and Jay gave me the controller and told me to play. I kept asking him things like “Which button do I enter a vehicle with?” and stuff, because I had to keep talking to stay in check with reality - when I didn’t I faded out and couldn’t concentrate on the game. After a while I gave back the controller. At some point now, I was beginning to come down and my friend Cal looked really mellow, and now he was mellow and kinda depressed - if he had been depressed when I was peaking, I’m pretty sure my trip would have been ruined and I would have fallen into that darkness, so I was pretty damn lucky he didn’t get in a bad mood earlier. Anyway, he told us he was gonna go home, so me and Jay followed him out to the car and I was glad to get outside and breathe some fresh air. We said goodbye and went back to the appartment.

After The Trip:
When we got back, I had sobered up and we put on some music, sat down in the couch and began discussing. The time was now 22.42 I think and I remember I was surprised at how little time had gone by because to me time had not existed at all. We discussed my experiences and his experiences the time he had taken mushrooms, mind you he had only done it once before. It was a bonding experience between us, two best friends sharing something sacred. I couldn’t relate to everything he said and vice versa, but we discovered some scary similarities and patterns and after a while I realised that our experiences had been extremely similar and consistent to eachother, and told my friend that “It’s like we experienced the same thing, but because I am I and you are you the experiences took different shapes” - I would describe it as if what we experience through shrooms is another dimension, but that every person has a different coordination in the universe and as we all reach out into the same dimension we reach out from different places in our dimensions and therefor we enter at different places in that dimension.

After about two hours of intense discussing and bonding, my dad sent an SMS and asked me if he should pick me up. I told him yes please, because I was shaken and really wanted to get home - he asked me “When, now?” and I replied “In 30 minutes”, and he said okay, so now I had some time to properly end the discussion with my friend.

My dad called and told me to go outside at 00.30, so I went outside. I then realised I forgot to tell dad I was at Jays moms place and not his dads, so I did and as I waited for dad to come I looked up at the night sky - my pupils were still wide so I could take in the light and see the dark night sky very cleary, and it was a very poetic ending to the night I had.



So, that’s my first experience with shrooms, it was a very abstract trip. I learned a lot from it, and it was definitely a life changing experience. I wouldn’t say I enjoyed the ride or that it was “fun”, and I was constantly on the verge to having a bad trip - but in the end I came out alright and with experience and I’m so happy that I made the decisions I did. Next time I do shrooms, I want to take a lower dose, sleep properly before I do and I want to be alone when doing it.

I have a few questions about my trip, first of all, is it usual to have such an abstract trip? Would you say this was a very intense trip or a normal one?

Some art I did a few days before the trip which in retroperspective seems very relevant what I experienced quite well.


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InvisibleLegend
RIP Sasha
Male

Registered: 03/29/10
Posts: 28,336
Loc: TX Flag
Re: Liberty Caps: A First Time Experience [Re: GiggleBlizzard]
    #18894665 - 09/26/13 03:47 PM (10 years, 4 months ago)

nice trip report.

i loved seeing that your friend let you know about the bedroom.

i always make sure to let my friends who are tripping know that it's okay to go chill alone.

:mushroom2:


--------------------
No sympathy for the devil, keep that in mind.
[url=
]Buy the ticket, take the ride. [/url]
Are you lost?


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OfflineGiggleBlizzard
Stranger

Registered: 09/26/13
Posts: 15
Last seen: 2 months, 27 days
Re: Liberty Caps: A First Time Experience [Re: Legend]
    #18894728 - 09/26/13 04:00 PM (10 years, 4 months ago)

Yeah, it was thanks to him that I had the experience that I did. This whole thing has brought me much closer to him, and I'm so grateful to him for how he handled it. I would trust him with my life.


Edited by GiggleBlizzard (09/26/13 04:00 PM)


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InvisibleFruitOfLife
Professional Package Handler


Registered: 05/21/12
Posts: 4,832
Re: Liberty Caps: A First Time Experience [Re: GiggleBlizzard]
    #18972231 - 10/13/13 01:45 PM (10 years, 3 months ago)

Quote:

Cal picked up a small ball with a linear pattern - one of Jays cats toys - and threw it at me, I picked it up and thought it felt pretty good to hold so I kept with me throughout the whole trip, I didn’t know why it just kinda felt right to keep it with me - it acted a bit like a reality check for me during the trip.




On my first ever mushroom trip I picked up a golf ball and didnt set that thing down once! That golf ball was my best friend the whole trip  :smile:


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