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Anonymous #1

What you want, is not always what you need?
    #18892198 - 09/26/13 12:41 AM (10 years, 4 months ago)

Have you ever heard the saying;

"What you want, is not always what you need."

Do you think that this is true when it comes to sexual relationships?

Why or why not?
Is this saying true or false?
You may choose only one


Votes accepted from (09/26/13 12:40 AM) to (No end specified)
You must vote before you can view the results of this poll



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Offlinerickpsfuckyou
listening to Mozzy
Male


Registered: 11/26/05
Posts: 1,860
Last seen: 2 years, 4 months
Re: What you want, is not always what you need? [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #18892594 - 09/26/13 04:03 AM (10 years, 4 months ago)

There is a difference between wants and needs, but romance is not an area to settle, however it is an area to compromise. That make any sense?


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Anonymous #1

Re: What you want, is not always what you need? [Re: rickpsfuckyou]
    #18893247 - 09/26/13 09:26 AM (10 years, 4 months ago)

Quote:

rickpsfuckyou said:
There is a difference between wants and needs, but romance is not an area to settle, however it is an area to compromise. That make any sense?




No. Please explain.


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OfflineManianFHS
living in perverty
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Registered: 07/06/04
Posts: 14,741
Last seen: 28 minutes, 47 seconds
Re: What you want, is not always what you need? [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #18893391 - 09/26/13 10:18 AM (10 years, 4 months ago)

What u want is usually always not what you need in my experience. Sex is an instinctual drive we have. I think few people correctly assess risk/reward when it comes to this drive. We just see pussy/cock, and go nuts for it.

Gets a little clearer with age and/or wisdom


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notapillow said: "you are going about this endeavor all wrong. clear your mind of useless fear and concern. buy the ticket, take the ride, and all that.... "

ChrisWho said: "It's all about the journey, not the destination."


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Offlineitchmynipple
;)

Registered: 05/28/12
Posts: 1,660
Last seen: 10 years, 1 month
Re: What you want, is not always what you need? [Re: ManianFH]
    #18895991 - 09/26/13 09:01 PM (10 years, 4 months ago)

when you meet the right person you will not want anything to do with another person sexually. the risk and idea wouldn't be entertained when your entertained about taking your lovely girl/guy to dinner cause thats what you 'feel' like doing. if your questioning heavily, look into it, find what is wrong and speak with your girl/guy and discuss a solution, either way it will be positive, you will still be together or you will have great memories to look back on and new adventures ahead.

sure ok - theres a difference between something popping up in your head and you brushing it away without effort, and fancying that image because your not satisfied with what you got.

but when you love what you got and its been a couple years and the feelings are replicated its a good place to be


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Anonymous #1

Re: What you want, is not always what you need? [Re: itchmynipple]
    #18896088 - 09/26/13 09:21 PM (10 years, 4 months ago)

I'm talking about the whole package.

People are usually chasing after an idea in their heads.

This is also true for sexual relationships.

They are going after an idea of how they want their relationship to be like.

So assuming that this is true for everyone - would the saying hold true?

A better question would be; How do we know what we need?


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Offlineitchmynipple
;)

Registered: 05/28/12
Posts: 1,660
Last seen: 10 years, 1 month
Re: What you want, is not always what you need? [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #18896112 - 09/26/13 09:30 PM (10 years, 4 months ago)

Quote:

Anonymous said:
I'm talking about the whole package.

People are usually chasing after an idea in their heads.

This is also true for sexual relationships.

They are going after an idea of how they want their relationship to be like.

So assuming that this is true for everyone - would the saying hold true?

A better question would be; How do we know what we need?




experience and coincidence shape who we are and what we want to believe we need.

if your asking yourself ' how do i know if this is what i want ' chances are you don't have what you need, or chances are your not 'ready' for that type of commitment and it could be what you want and need at a later time.

i think the way your describing it, is as if everyone is living in a fantasy world instead of catering to real life needs and feelings that come naturally. hence natural selection :p


i mean, if you want me to say just follow your dick then thats fine, follow your dick, one day you will find a lady that your dick follows all the time as well as your mind. it will be a mutual thing lol


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Anonymous #1

Re: What you want, is not always what you need? [Re: itchmynipple]
    #18896175 - 09/26/13 09:41 PM (10 years, 4 months ago)

Quote:

itchmynipple said:

i mean, if you want me to say just follow your dick then thats fine, follow your dick, one day you will find a lady that your dick follows all the time as well as your mind. it will be a mutual thing lol




Well, I didn't want to make this about me.

I just wanted open discussion but honestly, I want a lady that (using your terminology) my mind follows first, and my dick follows after.

Like 60% Mind Stimulation and 40% Dick Stimulation.

Anyways, that's way off topic, and besides the point -

If you participated in the poll, tell me how you understand the saying and tell me if you think it applies to your views on relationships.


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Anonymous #1

Re: What you want, is not always what you need? [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #18896191 - 09/26/13 09:44 PM (10 years, 4 months ago)

A better example:

Let's say I want a bookish nerdy chick, because I'm geeky.

What if what I need is a artsy, outgoing, free-spirited type?

The total opposite of what I want?

How will I know that?


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Offlineitchmynipple
;)

Registered: 05/28/12
Posts: 1,660
Last seen: 10 years, 1 month
Re: What you want, is not always what you need? [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #18896216 - 09/26/13 09:48 PM (10 years, 4 months ago)

Quote:

Anonymous said:
Quote:

itchmynipple said:

i mean, if you want me to say just follow your dick then thats fine, follow your dick, one day you will find a lady that your dick follows all the time as well as your mind. it will be a mutual thing lol




Well, I didn't want to make this about me.

I just wanted open discussion but honestly, I want a lady that (using your terminology) my mind follows first, and my dick follows after.

Like 60% Mind Stimulation and 40% Dick Stimulation.

Anyways, that's way off topic, and besides the point -

If you participated in the poll, tell me how you understand the saying and tell me if you think it applies to your views on relationships.




these two words are confusing because they can be the exact same thing. yet different.

so lets pretend needs are necessities, that the person must have. and wants are little selfish desires that aren't necessarily bad.
i need her to have a job, or be on a career path, she needs to be respectful and responsible.
wants, i want her to be beautiful, i want her to turn me on all the time, i want her to make me dinner while im watching my show..


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Anonymous #1

Re: What you want, is not always what you need? [Re: itchmynipple]
    #18896248 - 09/26/13 09:55 PM (10 years, 4 months ago)

Let's go a little deeper than that.

Let's say that needs are things that will make the relationship thrive.

Let's say that wants are the extra perks.

-----


Let's look at the idealized relationship like a car.

The engine and wheels are the needs.

The paint job and accessories are the wants.

If we are constantly chasing our wants, how do we know where to look for our needs?


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Offlinebrianstequila
Sir John Falstaff
Male


Registered: 05/20/13
Posts: 526
Last seen: 3 years, 3 months
Re: What you want, is not always what you need? [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #18896252 - 09/26/13 09:56 PM (10 years, 4 months ago)

Quote:

Anonymous said:
I'm talking about the whole package.

People are usually chasing after an idea in their heads.

This is also true for sexual relationships.

They are going after an idea of how they want their relationship to be like.

So assuming that this is true for everyone - would the saying hold true?

A better question would be; How do we know what we need?




That has to be the deepest shit I ever read on a forum. Thank you for that.


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Every citizen should be a soldier. This was the case with the Greeks and Romans, and must be that of every free state.
Thomas Jefferson

Not My trade list i aint got shit anymore
:drunkdriver:http://www.shroomery.org/forums/showflat.php/Number/19161913:drunkdriver:


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Offlineitchmynipple
;)

Registered: 05/28/12
Posts: 1,660
Last seen: 10 years, 1 month
Re: What you want, is not always what you need? [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #18896352 - 09/26/13 10:17 PM (10 years, 4 months ago)

Quote:

Anonymous said:
Let's go a little deeper than that.

Let's say that needs are things that will make the relationship thrive.

Let's say that wants are the extra perks.

-----

-----


Let's look at the idealized relationship like a car.

The engine and wheels are the needs.

The paint job and accessories are the wants.

If we are constantly chasing our wants, how do we know where to look for our needs?







i feel like at this point where picking and choosing slight differences in how to view it, it won't get much deeper in meaning. but ill try to understand what you mean. alright so the frame, the engine, and the wheels are the 'need'. the persons needs.. alright so she/he needs to have two feet. that person has to be a gender that you like. he/she needs to exist.

wants = okay well since i NeeD a female, lets make her have blonde hair, oh wait, im not sure anymore i havent tried someone with black hair, oh wait now red hair, oh wait i think i liked blonde hair, then black, oh wait this girls personality is amazing and her red hair  compliments are personality perfectly, what was i lookin for again?

needs and wants can be changed, but usually not forced to change its a natural thing that coincidences and experiences shape, if its there its there. i believe needs/wants combine and become in defining moments- subconscious- to the moment. then later on you reflect on your feelings.

i had a teacher who told me she believed it was more of a getting old and timing thing then a finding the right person type of thing.. and everyone has there own limits to when the time 'starts' to be right to settle down.

i believe that can be true, i believe you can be with someone who you like alot and then one day realize that its time to start settling down and if that person caters to your needs/wants then your find. in all honesty though needs and wants should be put into the same boat.

the only time i find it different is for example, you 'want' a fast bike, but you 'need' to start on a slower bike to avoid crashes brought on by inexperience


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InvisibleJesusGoneRogue
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Registered: 10/24/10
Posts: 9,495
Re: What you want, is not always what you need? [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #18900080 - 09/27/13 07:06 PM (10 years, 4 months ago)

This was fun to read.


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Offlinezappaisgod
horrid asshole


Registered: 02/11/04
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Last seen: 7 years, 7 months
Re: What you want, is not always what you need? [Re: JesusGoneRogue] * 1
    #18900110 - 09/27/13 07:12 PM (10 years, 4 months ago)

Pre-determined wants and needs are restrictions.  Dating sites and thinking like this are ruining spontaneity and strange compatibilities.


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InvisibleJesusGoneRogue
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Registered: 10/24/10
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Re: What you want, is not always what you need? [Re: zappaisgod]
    #18900116 - 09/27/13 07:13 PM (10 years, 4 months ago)

:noargument:


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Anonymous #1

Re: What you want, is not always what you need? [Re: zappaisgod]
    #18963557 - 10/11/13 11:38 AM (10 years, 3 months ago)

Quote:

zappaisgod said:
Pre-determined wants and needs are restrictions.  Dating sites and thinking like this are ruining spontaneity and strange compatibilities.




I see what you're saying. I've never thought about it that way before.


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InvisibleJesusGoneRogue
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Registered: 10/24/10
Posts: 9,495
Re: What you want, is not always what you need? [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #18979161 - 10/14/13 10:33 PM (10 years, 3 months ago)

me neither. tanks:sun:


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