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Unfolding Nature Shop: Unfolding Nature: Being in the Implicate Order

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OfflineSalviaGod
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Registered: 05/07/12
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Loving someone you hate.
    #18887043 - 09/24/13 10:26 PM (10 years, 4 months ago)

So heres my problem.
Im in love.

Theres this girl that iv been spending alot of time with, shes just great, i like talking to her, being near her, kissing her. Shes just an awesome person to be around, and shes said many times how shed like to get out of this "friends with benefits" stage and be in a real relationship with me, but i always have to back out and tell her it just wont work.

Heres why it wont work, when we are alone together its perfect, but when shes around her friends or anywhere public, i cant stand to be near her. She is a totally different person and i find her absolutely repulsive. Shes just so annoying and pisses me off, i dont want anything to do with her.

This is bothering me to no end, its like when im with her things are so great and i forget why im not already with her, and then we go out with friends and i just wanna kill myself.


What the hell do i do about this? Iv considered just stopping all the relationship type things completely and just being her friend so im not so attached to her, but then if we are just friends im afraid she will just be annoying around me all the time.


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Offlinedirty
super sketch
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Registered: 08/18/13
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Loc: stateside
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Re: Loving someone you hate. [Re: SalviaGod]
    #18887081 - 09/24/13 10:34 PM (10 years, 4 months ago)

If that's is how you feel about her then in the end it will never work as a serious relationship. Either you will end it now or she will get tired of asking to be with you and being rebuffed or you will say fuck it and go for it and be horrified whenever you are with other people. Or and this is a BIG OR, you could just tell her why and see what happens.


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"In a completely sane world, madness is the only freedom" -J.G. Ballard

"Why isn't there a strain yet called Rubix Cubensis?" -Fraggin


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OfflineWhoManBeing
PsychedelicYogi
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Registered: 09/01/13
Posts: 3,836
Loc: Oregon
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Re: Loving someone you hate. [Re: SalviaGod]
    #18887093 - 09/24/13 10:35 PM (10 years, 4 months ago)

the love you share with her is more intimate, very much exposure of who she is in at that depth of emotion.  she flying of on tangents you not see of beauty, maybe something that she, herself is having trouble with.  if your intentions are true, than, maybe you can, love will work its way through for smooth sailing ahead.

sounds right?


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Hip, hip... WhoRAy!!!

Eye was thinking the other day...  ahh, thinking never done me no good.



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InvisibleLynnch
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Re: Loving someone you hate. [Re: SalviaGod]
    #18887103 - 09/24/13 10:38 PM (10 years, 4 months ago)

You take the good with the bad :shrug:
Maybe you should let her have her girl time and not get dragged along. Or maybe you should get over your superficial annoyances and try to enjoy her personality.
Basically: Love her, or don't.


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OfflineSalviaGod
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Re: Loving someone you hate. [Re: Lynnch]
    #18887139 - 09/24/13 10:44 PM (10 years, 4 months ago)

Quote:

Lynnch said:
You take the good with the bad :shrug:
Maybe you should let her have her girl time and not get dragged along. Or maybe you should get over your superficial annoyances and try to enjoy her personality.
Basically: Love her, or don't.




That would work except, for the most part we have the same friends, so we are always hamging out together. Iv tried not letting her personality bother me but she just gets so annoying, like i get emberrased to be around her, shes just ridiculous, but then im alone with her and shes perfect.


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OfflineWhoManBeing
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Registered: 09/01/13
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Re: Loving someone you hate. [Re: SalviaGod]
    #18887154 - 09/24/13 10:46 PM (10 years, 4 months ago)

ego tripping.  there sh.egos again.


--------------------
Hip, hip... WhoRAy!!!

Eye was thinking the other day...  ahh, thinking never done me no good.



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InvisibleLazarus.Long
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Registered: 09/10/13
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Re: Loving someone you hate. [Re: Lynnch]
    #18887229 - 09/24/13 11:02 PM (10 years, 4 months ago)

I will simply reiterate what the previous posters have stated, just in my own way.

We all come from the same source, and thus are all the same.

Many unique manifestations of the one, simply exploring itself.

Please, Let this girl you are physically entangled with and manifesting traits you do not currently agree with intrigue you.

(I love how much our fellow humans have an ability to intrigue our consciousness)

These actions on her part may be beneficial to your evolution or hers, you should not judge her, but above all remain true to yourself.

If you can come to terms with who she is, then love on her, if you can Not come to terms with who she truly is, then love on her.... but from a distance.

And move on, and enjoy this amazing world that we both are fortunate enough to have been manifested within :smile:


Edited by Lazarus.Long (09/24/13 11:51 PM)


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OfflineTheWiz
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Loc: Southern IL
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Re: Loving someone you hate. [Re: Lazarus.Long]
    #18888261 - 09/25/13 08:31 AM (10 years, 4 months ago)

Whether you call her your "friend" or your "girlfriend" isn't going to affect how attached you feel.  Your emotions won't be fooled by your clever manipulation of labels, sorry to say.

Ask her what the deal is.  Say, "Hey, you're really different around our friends.  Why is that?"  It's possible that's a side of her that she enjoys expressing and only feels comfortable being around her friends (in which case, you're kind of out of luck).  It's possible she doesn't much like acting that way, but feels obligated to around those people.


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I'd hit it.


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Offlinekinkaku
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Re: Loving someone you hate. [Re: TheWiz]
    #18896979 - 09/27/13 12:56 AM (10 years, 4 months ago)

dude I've been there, when I was younger I was forced into early adulthood by my parents breaking up and my father becoming a non funtional alcoholic.
well about a year ago when I was single this girl wanted to hangout with me but she wanted to bring a friend just so it wouldnt turn out awkward. well this girl was the most annoying person to be around, she was very loud and abnoxious and she was only a year younger than me:facepalm3:. eventually I met up with another girl who happened to be my good friend and we both ran off haha, after about a day I called up the girl and told her why I ran off in the most polite way possible.

she still trys to talk to me to this day but I always tell her I'm on a date my girlfriend so It would be rude to talk to her.


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Unfolding Nature Shop: Unfolding Nature: Being in the Implicate Order


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