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koods
Ribbit



Registered: 05/26/11
Posts: 106,412
Loc: Maryland/DC Burbs
Last seen: 10 minutes, 44 seconds
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When she's 16, you can show her this and watch her "literally die of embarrassment."
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NotSheekle said “if I believed she was 16 I would become unattracted to her”
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Shu
Vote for Humanity



Registered: 11/20/11
Posts: 885
Loc: PA, USA
Last seen: 5 days, 7 hours
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Quote:
JamesSpawned said: Shes HERE! Bye Yall!
Congratulations JamesSpawned!
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JamesSpawned
Fart smeller! Wait...



Registered: 01/15/13
Posts: 773
Loc: Treasure Coast
Last seen: 7 years, 2 months
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Re: It's happening! [Re: Shu]
#18884343 - 09/24/13 10:41 AM (10 years, 4 months ago) |
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Thank you guys! And I believe every preteen and teen need to experience crippling humiliation at the hands of their parents. It builds character...
-------------------- ARE YOU NOT ENTERTAINED?!
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shLong



Registered: 03/04/10
Posts: 25,330
Loc: 'sconsin
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Quote:
empty space said: Congrats. For some reason reminded me of this.
"At Northerly Island I watched a wookette giving birth during the Jimmy Buffett set. I was just peaking on some 2ci. People were trying to get medical help, but they hadn't arrived. Some other wookette claimed to be a midwife and was coaching the woman through this. Her wook man is standing there shirtless and spun like top, just making these weird sounds while he is crushing his beer can and spraying coors light all over everyone. He looked really anxious about the whole thing, grabbing his face and just making grunts and stuff. The baby's head starts to crown and the medics still haven't arrived.
This is where it gets crazy... It was so fucking dusty out there and the baby and all the surrounding fluids were immediately "muddified" by the blowing dirt. I mean, its fucking gross. All of a sudden, this fucking kid (probably 19 or 20) in his oversized neon, flat-brim LRG hat, runs up yelling "welcome to the party bitch!" before he blows a huge plume of smoke right in the baby's face! While the umbilical cord is still attached and shit!
The smell was unmistakeable, this baby had just been deemster'd.
He must have pulled the hit from a bong, b/c it was monstrous. The surrounding crowd dropped their jaws, and someone tackled the kid as he starts to run away. He didn't make it more than 10ft and the he was probably blasting off about now.
The mom is clutching the dirty baby and trying to calm it. Though, strangely, the baby was not crying (tripping balls i guess?). And while the dude is getting screamed at, the dad suddenly pounces into action. He jumps on the dude, and starts smashing said bisco kid's face with the crushed up beer can, of which he seemingly just can't let go. The bisco kid is kicking and trying to roll out of it and the wook-dad grabs the kid's hair w/ one hand. he finally let the can go and shoves his other hand half way inside the guys mouth. He is pulling his mouth open and RIPS HIS CHEEK OPEN! repeat: rips his fucking CHEEK OPEN!
there is blood everywhere and the dude lets out this braveheart-like scream as he gets pulled off by the folks around him. Blood all over bisco kid's face, shirt and formerly fresh flat breezy. The cops/medics arrived about that time and took over the situation.
Shit was crazy as hell."
What? Seriously? May be the more intriguing story I've read on here to date.
And congratulations JamesSpawned
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zZZz
jesus


Registered: 12/28/07
Posts: 33,478
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Re: It's happening! [Re: koods]
#18885277 - 09/24/13 02:48 PM (10 years, 4 months ago) |
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first shroomery baby
she will rule these lands when ythan is retired
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JamesSpawned
Fart smeller! Wait...



Registered: 01/15/13
Posts: 773
Loc: Treasure Coast
Last seen: 7 years, 2 months
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Re: It's happening! [Re: zZZz]
#18885320 - 09/24/13 02:55 PM (10 years, 4 months ago) |
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lol, thank you for the confidence in her!
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CounterCulturest
-Positive Mental Attitude-

Registered: 01/18/10
Posts: 3,662
Loc: Nesting on modems
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Get off the internet and participate
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WScott
´ ɑ `▽ ᑲᓇᑕ


Registered: 07/31/05
Posts: 5,713
Loc: Nacada
Last seen: 10 months, 9 days
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Shouldn't the piece of paper read "James' Spawn" ?
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JamesSpawned
Fart smeller! Wait...



Registered: 01/15/13
Posts: 773
Loc: Treasure Coast
Last seen: 7 years, 2 months
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Quote:
CounterCulturest said: Get off the internet and participate
I appreciate your sentiment, but I am fully immersed in the experience of being a new father. After all diaper changes and feeding times are mommies forte.
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Enjoywho
Rags to Bitches



Registered: 07/06/09
Posts: 20,880
Last seen: 2 years, 7 months
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Quote:
JamesSpawned said: I thought it would be cool to share this moment with the shroomery, hell it might even be a shroomery first! Plus it helps distract me...
Pics or it didnt happen.
Seriously wheres the crowning pic.
-------------------- "I don't give nothin' to nobody, I just pay the cost to do business." - Riley "Young Reezy"-Boondocks "The road to hell is paved with good intentions." "In the days of kings and queens I was a jester." "And then the great lord created bears... too many bears... shoulda really dialed back on the bears." Squidbillies "Can you start speaking words instead of your damn filthy lies!"- Louise "Bobs Burgers"
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Oeric McKenna
LIFE CAPS


Registered: 06/15/12
Posts: 5,318
Loc: Babylon
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Congrats OP!

What a riot this "wook mama" story is... Blowing dmt in the babys face?? ha! if I was the dad I wouldve just laughed. I mean, yeah its messed up but SO IS PUSHING OUT A KID ON THE DANCE FLOOR. I mean jeez the violence ain't helpin..... "the baby didn't cry" well, no shit it just came through the void to.... re-enter the void... " wook father" , what a riot dude. Weird dreddy folks being weird... who'd've thunk it
"The aristocrats" ! winz
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JamesSpawned
Fart smeller! Wait...



Registered: 01/15/13
Posts: 773
Loc: Treasure Coast
Last seen: 7 years, 2 months
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Re: It's happening! [Re: Enjoywho]
#18889151 - 09/25/13 12:49 PM (10 years, 4 months ago) |
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No pic of the crowning, didn't occur to me to snap one off at that particular moment...
-------------------- ARE YOU NOT ENTERTAINED?!
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Enjoywho
Rags to Bitches



Registered: 07/06/09
Posts: 20,880
Last seen: 2 years, 7 months
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Quote:
JamesSpawned said: No pic of the crowning, didn't occur to me to snap one off at that particular moment...
But it occurred to you to post on the shroomery without a pic.
Cmon op thats just terrible internet manners.
Congrats on the little one though. Boy or girl?
-------------------- "I don't give nothin' to nobody, I just pay the cost to do business." - Riley "Young Reezy"-Boondocks "The road to hell is paved with good intentions." "In the days of kings and queens I was a jester." "And then the great lord created bears... too many bears... shoulda really dialed back on the bears." Squidbillies "Can you start speaking words instead of your damn filthy lies!"- Louise "Bobs Burgers"
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JamesSpawned
Fart smeller! Wait...



Registered: 01/15/13
Posts: 773
Loc: Treasure Coast
Last seen: 7 years, 2 months
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Re: It's happening! [Re: Enjoywho]
#18889300 - 09/25/13 01:25 PM (10 years, 4 months ago) |
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Yes I know, I can be quite the bad thread host at times. My apologies . It's a beautiful baby girl, perfect in every way.
-------------------- ARE YOU NOT ENTERTAINED?!
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Enjoywho
Rags to Bitches



Registered: 07/06/09
Posts: 20,880
Last seen: 2 years, 7 months
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Awesome I want a little girlie some day. congrats and good luck to you.
But on a more serious note wtf how do you miss the money shot?
-------------------- "I don't give nothin' to nobody, I just pay the cost to do business." - Riley "Young Reezy"-Boondocks "The road to hell is paved with good intentions." "In the days of kings and queens I was a jester." "And then the great lord created bears... too many bears... shoulda really dialed back on the bears." Squidbillies "Can you start speaking words instead of your damn filthy lies!"- Louise "Bobs Burgers"
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