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st1llnox
dx'd PTSD/ADHD--please don't ask



Registered: 11/27/12
Posts: 7,312
Loc: 913 KANSAS CITY 816
Last seen: 5 years, 1 month
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Fuck I'm frustrated; all evidence still points to there being a dire shortage of non-tard psychdocs
#18883488 - 09/24/13 04:40 AM (10 years, 4 months ago) |
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The people who've suggested I should just have a DEA # and a prescription pad (half of them serious, half of them just being jerks) might have a freaking point.
Got a new referral to a psychdoc place since I'll be working with my doctor of 2 years and thus really can't be a patient.
So, good news is the APRN I now see hasn't made any technical errors (yet, or at least that I've caught), and at least I have an Adderall script again--for now, anyway.
After our conversation including only this: -history of trouble focusing in school, underachieving, improvement with Adderall and Dexedrine, other options not working -insomnia on and off, ideal treatment seems to be a benzo PRN -abridged drug history -that I've been in a psych ward
I originally didn't want to release the psych ward records because frankly, they were fucktards and put me on so much shit it literally made me crazy and they just kept upping my diagnosis and pills until they discharged me with schizophrenia. Real doctors took me off the shit, and absolutely all psychotic and paranoid symptoms went away.
But then she got all cunty ("Are YOU SAYING you're NOT going to give me those records?") and I wanted to keep doing a shitton of reading and math, so I figured if I want the Adderall I better pacify the bitch. I acted flustered and said of course she could have them, I just didn't think they were relevant.
So after only this information and then my resistance to giving her those records (I think that's what did it)...
She said that I definitely have ADHD and Mood Disorder NOS until we can figure out what it is.
I asked her why Mood Disorder at all and she said I'm displaying symptoms. Mind you, this is after talking to me for about 8 minutes with me on my best behavior (again, I was there for a script, not a glorified nurse who got training to write scripts instead of wipe patients asses) .
Either doing drugs at all means you have a mood disorder (not being facetious; walk into a psychiatrists office and tell them you do drugs if you don't believe me), or not cooperating with a nurse practitioner means you have a mood disorder.
Ugh. Why do I put up with this. I can already tell she's going to want to put me on a mood stabilizers, even telling me how they'll help me sleep so I won't need an occasional benzo (I did make it clear I worry about long term benzo exposure, but still).
I thought about saying "What symptoms am I displaying, exactly?" but I could already tell from eariler that she's the kind of practitioner who cannot stand people questioning her authority (when I later elaborated, after my nice Mood Disorder NOS diagnosis, on what happened in that psych ward and the schizophrenia thing and all that, she said "I'll be the judge of if it was valid" and said similar phrases a couple times when I started talking more clinically).
Uuuuuuuuughh. I'm already fucked for life medical-records wise. I'm not going to take a fucking mood stabilizer again either. Any bottle of carbamazepine or any other shit's just going to sit in my Hunter S Thopmoson-esque pill briefcase in case I ever need to OD, quite frankly.
I like, very obviously have depression type crap but she made it pretty clear she's talking anger outburts and shit.
And like anybody in psychiatry, circumstances don't matter to her. Stressed out cause my last grandparent's dying and high-strung? That's just looking for outside excuses for an organic disorder, in her mind.
Edited by st1llnox (09/24/13 04:56 AM)
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st1llnox
dx'd PTSD/ADHD--please don't ask



Registered: 11/27/12
Posts: 7,312
Loc: 913 KANSAS CITY 816
Last seen: 5 years, 1 month
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Re: Fuck I'm frustrated [Re: st1llnox]
#18883502 - 09/24/13 04:55 AM (10 years, 4 months ago) |
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And nobody's going to read that anyway... too long and not enough graemlins
-------------------- Back, bitches. st1lln0x: so i'm on weed, temazepam, adderall, dexedrine, dxm, dph, alcohol, nicotine, caffeine, tryptophan, GABA, and kratom Cavemen_savemen: st1lln0x, do you feel like a robot yet? st1lln0x: I feel like a fucking Gundam Click to friend me on Steam for Counter-Strike
IS LIFE SKULLFUCKING YOU!? HAVE SOME FREE MORALE! Click if you want to feel you alone can do it! Click if you want to feel confident and beastly! Click if you want courage to let go and move on! And click the message if you need someone to talk to -- I'll understand, even if we "hate" each other on here
  
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zee007
Gone.



Registered: 11/15/12
Posts: 3,851
Loc:
Last seen: 4 years, 2 months
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Re: Fuck I'm frustrated [Re: st1llnox]
#18883511 - 09/24/13 05:01 AM (10 years, 4 months ago) |
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My advice, always play stupid if you are stuck in a situation like that. I am not calling out every Phsychiatrists but many of them are misinformed and hard headed when it comes to drugs.
Meh... The way our brains work is too complex for one person to ever comprehend completely with today's tech. It just isn't right a condition as controversial as ADD/ADHD is allowed to even be diagnosed (assumed) by anyone.
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zee007
Gone.



Registered: 11/15/12
Posts: 3,851
Loc:
Last seen: 4 years, 2 months
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Re: Fuck I'm frustrated [Re: zee007]
#18883518 - 09/24/13 05:06 AM (10 years, 4 months ago) |
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Don't let the system fuck you in the ass, don't play along, keep everything confidential, confidential.
I can't stress all that enough, but am too tired to give my reasoning.
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st1llnox
dx'd PTSD/ADHD--please don't ask



Registered: 11/27/12
Posts: 7,312
Loc: 913 KANSAS CITY 816
Last seen: 5 years, 1 month
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Re: Fuck I'm frustrated [Re: zee007]
#18883527 - 09/24/13 05:13 AM (10 years, 4 months ago) |
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Quote:
zee007 said: My advice, always play stupid if you are stuck in a situation like that. I am not calling out every Phsychiatrists but many of them are misinformed and hard headed when it comes to drugs.
Meh... The way our brains work is too complex for one person to ever comprehend completely with today's tech. It just isn't right a condition as controversial as ADD/ADHD is allowed to even be diagnosed (assumed) by anyone.
Well said, and I've pedantically explored in extreme depth the differential diagnosis stuff for ADHD vs mood disorders. Bipolar and ADHD basically look the same behaviorally by and large, believe it or not. Most people I've met in psych wards where the doctors were trying to treat them for bipolar had a history of ADHD diagnosis in the past.
Don't worry though... you know how we all got diagnosed ADHD in the 90s? Now kids are getting bipolar, so it's really more about fads and fashions in diagnosis than anything else. And the fact that most people are too stupid to realize that qualifications don't make you infallible.
I don't want to play dumb though. I want it to be like my last doctor where I can tell him I'm going to do shrooms, and where we discuss pharmacology in depth, etc. Only problem with him though is when I'd get addicted to K2 again, that just confirmed for him I must have bipolar because I'd get psychotic even though the DSM even says it's not a mood disorder if it's a drug reaction causing the "symptoms". I could go into detail and actually show a few contradictions here, but it doesn't matter... by not playing dumb, I landed a job researching for him.
Ugh. I really do feel fucked for life though.
-------------------- Back, bitches. st1lln0x: so i'm on weed, temazepam, adderall, dexedrine, dxm, dph, alcohol, nicotine, caffeine, tryptophan, GABA, and kratom Cavemen_savemen: st1lln0x, do you feel like a robot yet? st1lln0x: I feel like a fucking Gundam Click to friend me on Steam for Counter-Strike
IS LIFE SKULLFUCKING YOU!? HAVE SOME FREE MORALE! Click if you want to feel you alone can do it! Click if you want to feel confident and beastly! Click if you want courage to let go and move on! And click the message if you need someone to talk to -- I'll understand, even if we "hate" each other on here
  
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st1llnox
dx'd PTSD/ADHD--please don't ask



Registered: 11/27/12
Posts: 7,312
Loc: 913 KANSAS CITY 816
Last seen: 5 years, 1 month
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Re: Fuck I'm frustrated [Re: zee007]
#18883531 - 09/24/13 05:17 AM (10 years, 4 months ago) |
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Quote:
zee007 said: Don't let the system fuck you in the ass, don't play along, keep everything confidential, confidential.
I can't stress all that enough, but am too tired to give my reasoning.
Men who understand eachother need not explain their reasoning. 
If anyone doesn't immediately get the logic behind that, they've clearly never been to a psychiatrist. I honestly wish I died before I went to a psych ward for the first time, but I don't wanna make this into a drama thread. 
Problem is (and I know what you mean by confidential), where I live there's a prescription database so pretty much any doctor can look up through the pharmacies everything you've ever been on. And I've been on everything, and nearly all of it fucks me up in some way but a psychiatrist that doesn't put people on pills is like a cow that doesn't make milk.
-------------------- Back, bitches. st1lln0x: so i'm on weed, temazepam, adderall, dexedrine, dxm, dph, alcohol, nicotine, caffeine, tryptophan, GABA, and kratom Cavemen_savemen: st1lln0x, do you feel like a robot yet? st1lln0x: I feel like a fucking Gundam Click to friend me on Steam for Counter-Strike
IS LIFE SKULLFUCKING YOU!? HAVE SOME FREE MORALE! Click if you want to feel you alone can do it! Click if you want to feel confident and beastly! Click if you want courage to let go and move on! And click the message if you need someone to talk to -- I'll understand, even if we "hate" each other on here
  
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zee007
Gone.



Registered: 11/15/12
Posts: 3,851
Loc:
Last seen: 4 years, 2 months
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Re: Fuck I'm frustrated [Re: st1llnox]
#18883539 - 09/24/13 05:24 AM (10 years, 4 months ago) |
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Quote:
st1llnox said:
Quote:
zee007 said: My advice, always play stupid if you are stuck in a situation like that. I am not calling out every Phsychiatrists but many of them are misinformed and hard headed when it comes to drugs.
Meh... The way our brains work is too complex for one person to ever comprehend completely with today's tech. It just isn't right a condition as controversial as ADD/ADHD is allowed to even be diagnosed (assumed) by anyone.
Well said, and I've pedantically explored in extreme depth the differential diagnosis stuff for ADHD vs mood disorders. Bipolar and ADHD basically look the same behaviorally by and large, believe it or not. Most people I've met in psych wards where the doctors were trying to treat them for bipolar had a history of ADHD diagnosis in the past.
Don't worry though... you know how we all got diagnosed ADHD in the 90s? Now kids are getting bipolar, so it's really more about fads and fashions in diagnosis than anything else. And the fact that most people are too stupid to realize that qualifications don't make you infallible.
I don't want to play dumb though. I want it to be like my last doctor where I can tell him I'm going to do shrooms, and where we discuss pharmacology in depth, etc. Only problem with him though is when I'd get addicted to K2 again, that just confirmed for him I must have bipolar because I'd get psychotic even though the DSM even says it's not a mood disorder if it's a drug reaction causing the "symptoms". I could go into detail and actually show a few contradictions here, but it doesn't matter... by not playing dumb, I landed a job researching for him.
Ugh. I really do feel fucked for life though.
See look at ya Nox, you called out the mood disorder bs but your spending time looking into it. Dont let that idiot get to your head. Keep a look out for new drugs, once something new is on the market seems like everyone "needs" it. System is fucked.
I don't mean act dumb literally. Just act innocent and don't say too much until you are confident the psych will react in your favor towards being open/honest about unstable subjects.
Edited by zee007 (09/24/13 05:26 AM)
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st1llnox
dx'd PTSD/ADHD--please don't ask



Registered: 11/27/12
Posts: 7,312
Loc: 913 KANSAS CITY 816
Last seen: 5 years, 1 month
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Re: Fuck I'm frustrated [Re: zee007]
#18883546 - 09/24/13 05:34 AM (10 years, 4 months ago) |
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Quote:
zee007 said: I don't mean act dumb literally. Just act innocent and don't say too much until you are confident the psych will react in your favor towards being open/honest about unstable subjects.
I know but like... she had no ground for that diagnosis.
I mean, I was kind of frank on my intake paperwork, but frankly I've dealt with psychiatrists that I would be thrilled to castrate. Only the ones that put rape victims through shock treatment and diagnosed them with schizophrenia in psych wards kinda ones though. Still... 
I mean we got into talking about Stephen Stahl so she knows I'm at least an expert patient.
If she wants to mood stabilize me with Marinol, then I probably won't pull her healthgrades rating from whatever it's at down to 1/5 like I did to that stupid oxycontin addict I saw a couple times before this nurse lady.
Ugh.
-------------------- Back, bitches. st1lln0x: so i'm on weed, temazepam, adderall, dexedrine, dxm, dph, alcohol, nicotine, caffeine, tryptophan, GABA, and kratom Cavemen_savemen: st1lln0x, do you feel like a robot yet? st1lln0x: I feel like a fucking Gundam Click to friend me on Steam for Counter-Strike
IS LIFE SKULLFUCKING YOU!? HAVE SOME FREE MORALE! Click if you want to feel you alone can do it! Click if you want to feel confident and beastly! Click if you want courage to let go and move on! And click the message if you need someone to talk to -- I'll understand, even if we "hate" each other on here
  
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mellowparty
legitimate researcher


Registered: 05/17/09
Posts: 18,467
Last seen: 10 years, 3 months
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Re: Fuck I'm frustrated [Re: st1llnox] 1
#18883553 - 09/24/13 05:41 AM (10 years, 4 months ago) |
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Why don't you just buy drugs from a dealer like a real person not like someone who was meant to be a whinny girl but was born a boy?
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st1llnox
dx'd PTSD/ADHD--please don't ask



Registered: 11/27/12
Posts: 7,312
Loc: 913 KANSAS CITY 816
Last seen: 5 years, 1 month
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Quote:
mellowparty said: Why don't you just buy drugs from a dealer like a real person not like someone who was meant to be a whinny girl but was born a boy?
Oh wow why didn't I think of buying 120 adderall a month at street prices out of my own pocket while I work for minimum wage while I'm drowning in debt... I really should have thought of that. Thanks mellowparty.
-------------------- Back, bitches. st1lln0x: so i'm on weed, temazepam, adderall, dexedrine, dxm, dph, alcohol, nicotine, caffeine, tryptophan, GABA, and kratom Cavemen_savemen: st1lln0x, do you feel like a robot yet? st1lln0x: I feel like a fucking Gundam Click to friend me on Steam for Counter-Strike
IS LIFE SKULLFUCKING YOU!? HAVE SOME FREE MORALE! Click if you want to feel you alone can do it! Click if you want to feel confident and beastly! Click if you want courage to let go and move on! And click the message if you need someone to talk to -- I'll understand, even if we "hate" each other on here
  
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memes
Blessed



Registered: 01/11/05
Posts: 27,785
Loc: In a Tree
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Re: Fuck I'm frustrated [Re: st1llnox] 1
#18883557 - 09/24/13 05:47 AM (10 years, 4 months ago) |
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Quote:
st1llnox said: And nobody's going to read that anyway... too long and not enough graemlins 
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mellowparty
legitimate researcher


Registered: 05/17/09
Posts: 18,467
Last seen: 10 years, 3 months
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Re: Fuck I'm frustrated [Re: st1llnox]
#18883558 - 09/24/13 05:48 AM (10 years, 4 months ago) |
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So you're working minimum wage job and in debt yet you still buy drugs all the time by whining to retarded docs giving out psychoactive drugs like candy. You truly are exceeding at life.
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st1llnox
dx'd PTSD/ADHD--please don't ask



Registered: 11/27/12
Posts: 7,312
Loc: 913 KANSAS CITY 816
Last seen: 5 years, 1 month
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Quote:
mellowparty said: So you're working minimum wage job and in debt yet you still buy drugs all the time by whining to retarded docs giving out psychoactive drugs like candy. You truly are exceeding at life.
I don't buy drugs
-------------------- Back, bitches. st1lln0x: so i'm on weed, temazepam, adderall, dexedrine, dxm, dph, alcohol, nicotine, caffeine, tryptophan, GABA, and kratom Cavemen_savemen: st1lln0x, do you feel like a robot yet? st1lln0x: I feel like a fucking Gundam Click to friend me on Steam for Counter-Strike
IS LIFE SKULLFUCKING YOU!? HAVE SOME FREE MORALE! Click if you want to feel you alone can do it! Click if you want to feel confident and beastly! Click if you want courage to let go and move on! And click the message if you need someone to talk to -- I'll understand, even if we "hate" each other on here
  
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memes
Blessed



Registered: 01/11/05
Posts: 27,785
Loc: In a Tree
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Re: Fuck I'm frustrated [Re: st1llnox]
#18883563 - 09/24/13 05:50 AM (10 years, 4 months ago) |
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Quote:
st1llnox said:
I don't buy drugs 
I tell my parents i'm sick, then i later tell them i lost the bottle of tussin'
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mellowparty
legitimate researcher


Registered: 05/17/09
Posts: 18,467
Last seen: 10 years, 3 months
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Re: Fuck I'm frustrated [Re: st1llnox]
#18883565 - 09/24/13 05:51 AM (10 years, 4 months ago) |
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Quote:
st1llnox said:
Quote:
mellowparty said: So you're working minimum wage job and in debt yet you still buy drugs all the time by whining to retarded docs giving out psychoactive drugs like candy. You truly are exceeding at life.
I don't buy drugs 
Oh so your parents do it for you. Even better.
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st1llnox
dx'd PTSD/ADHD--please don't ask



Registered: 11/27/12
Posts: 7,312
Loc: 913 KANSAS CITY 816
Last seen: 5 years, 1 month
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Re: Fuck I'm frustrated [Re: memes]
#18883567 - 09/24/13 05:52 AM (10 years, 4 months ago) |
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Quote:
memes said:
Quote:
st1llnox said:
I don't buy drugs 
I tell my parents i'm sick, then i later tell them i lost the bottle of tussin'
I haven't bought DXM in a while now. 
Quote:
Oh so your parents do it for you. Even better.
I'll assume you're drunk as fuck or something. I've never had them buy me robitussin.
-------------------- Back, bitches. st1lln0x: so i'm on weed, temazepam, adderall, dexedrine, dxm, dph, alcohol, nicotine, caffeine, tryptophan, GABA, and kratom Cavemen_savemen: st1lln0x, do you feel like a robot yet? st1lln0x: I feel like a fucking Gundam Click to friend me on Steam for Counter-Strike
IS LIFE SKULLFUCKING YOU!? HAVE SOME FREE MORALE! Click if you want to feel you alone can do it! Click if you want to feel confident and beastly! Click if you want courage to let go and move on! And click the message if you need someone to talk to -- I'll understand, even if we "hate" each other on here
  
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memes
Blessed



Registered: 01/11/05
Posts: 27,785
Loc: In a Tree
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Re: Fuck I'm frustrated [Re: st1llnox]
#18883569 - 09/24/13 05:53 AM (10 years, 4 months ago) |
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don't get all defensive. are you surprised we poke at you for this shit? it's daily.
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mellowparty
legitimate researcher


Registered: 05/17/09
Posts: 18,467
Last seen: 10 years, 3 months
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Re: Fuck I'm frustrated [Re: st1llnox]
#18883570 - 09/24/13 05:54 AM (10 years, 4 months ago) |
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Who said anything about buying robitussin? So how do you afford 120 adderall a month and benzos and opiates for your papercut thumb etc?
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lessismore
Registered: 02/10/13
Posts: 6,268
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Re: Fuck I'm frustrated [Re: memes]
#18883573 - 09/24/13 05:54 AM (10 years, 4 months ago) |
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Why didn't you sue them for putting you in the ward with schizophrenia?
it's not like ADHD mimics schizophrenia at all
and they put your health at risk with feeding you random pills
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Everlong
King of the Neckbeards


Registered: 03/24/08
Posts: 9,087
Loc: Poconos
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Re: Fuck I'm frustrated [Re: st1llnox]
#18883581 - 09/24/13 06:02 AM (10 years, 4 months ago) |
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Quote:
st1llnox said: And I've been on everything, and nearly all of it fucks me up in some way but a psychiatrist that doesn't put people on pills is like a cow that doesn't make milk.
Quote:
st1llnox said: and at least I have an Adderall script again--for now, anyway.
Quote:
st1llnox said: If she wants to mood stabilize me with Marinol, then I probably won't pull her healthgrades rating from whatever it's at down to 1/5 like I did to that stupid oxycontin addict I saw a couple times before this nurse lady.

That's the only reason you go to psychs, is in an attempt to acquire whatever drugs you think you need.
Quote:
st1llnox said: I mean we got into talking about Stephen Stahl so she knows I'm at least an expert patient.
"expert patient"
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