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st1llnox
dx'd PTSD/ADHD--please don't ask



Registered: 11/27/12
Posts: 7,312
Loc: 913 KANSAS CITY 816
Last seen: 5 years, 1 month
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Fuck I'm frustrated; all evidence still points to there being a dire shortage of non-tard psychdocs
#18883488 - 09/24/13 04:40 AM (10 years, 4 months ago) |
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The people who've suggested I should just have a DEA # and a prescription pad (half of them serious, half of them just being jerks) might have a freaking point.
Got a new referral to a psychdoc place since I'll be working with my doctor of 2 years and thus really can't be a patient.
So, good news is the APRN I now see hasn't made any technical errors (yet, or at least that I've caught), and at least I have an Adderall script again--for now, anyway.
After our conversation including only this: -history of trouble focusing in school, underachieving, improvement with Adderall and Dexedrine, other options not working -insomnia on and off, ideal treatment seems to be a benzo PRN -abridged drug history -that I've been in a psych ward
I originally didn't want to release the psych ward records because frankly, they were fucktards and put me on so much shit it literally made me crazy and they just kept upping my diagnosis and pills until they discharged me with schizophrenia. Real doctors took me off the shit, and absolutely all psychotic and paranoid symptoms went away.
But then she got all cunty ("Are YOU SAYING you're NOT going to give me those records?") and I wanted to keep doing a shitton of reading and math, so I figured if I want the Adderall I better pacify the bitch. I acted flustered and said of course she could have them, I just didn't think they were relevant.
So after only this information and then my resistance to giving her those records (I think that's what did it)...
She said that I definitely have ADHD and Mood Disorder NOS until we can figure out what it is.
I asked her why Mood Disorder at all and she said I'm displaying symptoms. Mind you, this is after talking to me for about 8 minutes with me on my best behavior (again, I was there for a script, not a glorified nurse who got training to write scripts instead of wipe patients asses) .
Either doing drugs at all means you have a mood disorder (not being facetious; walk into a psychiatrists office and tell them you do drugs if you don't believe me), or not cooperating with a nurse practitioner means you have a mood disorder.
Ugh. Why do I put up with this. I can already tell she's going to want to put me on a mood stabilizers, even telling me how they'll help me sleep so I won't need an occasional benzo (I did make it clear I worry about long term benzo exposure, but still).
I thought about saying "What symptoms am I displaying, exactly?" but I could already tell from eariler that she's the kind of practitioner who cannot stand people questioning her authority (when I later elaborated, after my nice Mood Disorder NOS diagnosis, on what happened in that psych ward and the schizophrenia thing and all that, she said "I'll be the judge of if it was valid" and said similar phrases a couple times when I started talking more clinically).
Uuuuuuuuughh. I'm already fucked for life medical-records wise. I'm not going to take a fucking mood stabilizer again either. Any bottle of carbamazepine or any other shit's just going to sit in my Hunter S Thopmoson-esque pill briefcase in case I ever need to OD, quite frankly.
I like, very obviously have depression type crap but she made it pretty clear she's talking anger outburts and shit.
And like anybody in psychiatry, circumstances don't matter to her. Stressed out cause my last grandparent's dying and high-strung? That's just looking for outside excuses for an organic disorder, in her mind.
Edited by st1llnox (09/24/13 04:56 AM)
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st1llnox
dx'd PTSD/ADHD--please don't ask



Registered: 11/27/12
Posts: 7,312
Loc: 913 KANSAS CITY 816
Last seen: 5 years, 1 month
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Re: Fuck I'm frustrated [Re: st1llnox]
#18883502 - 09/24/13 04:55 AM (10 years, 4 months ago) |
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And nobody's going to read that anyway... too long and not enough graemlins
-------------------- Back, bitches. st1lln0x: so i'm on weed, temazepam, adderall, dexedrine, dxm, dph, alcohol, nicotine, caffeine, tryptophan, GABA, and kratom Cavemen_savemen: st1lln0x, do you feel like a robot yet? st1lln0x: I feel like a fucking Gundam Click to friend me on Steam for Counter-Strike
IS LIFE SKULLFUCKING YOU!? HAVE SOME FREE MORALE! Click if you want to feel you alone can do it! Click if you want to feel confident and beastly! Click if you want courage to let go and move on! And click the message if you need someone to talk to -- I'll understand, even if we "hate" each other on here
  
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zee007
Gone.



Registered: 11/15/12
Posts: 3,851
Loc:
Last seen: 4 years, 1 month
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Re: Fuck I'm frustrated [Re: st1llnox]
#18883511 - 09/24/13 05:01 AM (10 years, 4 months ago) |
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My advice, always play stupid if you are stuck in a situation like that. I am not calling out every Phsychiatrists but many of them are misinformed and hard headed when it comes to drugs.
Meh... The way our brains work is too complex for one person to ever comprehend completely with today's tech. It just isn't right a condition as controversial as ADD/ADHD is allowed to even be diagnosed (assumed) by anyone.
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zee007
Gone.



Registered: 11/15/12
Posts: 3,851
Loc:
Last seen: 4 years, 1 month
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Re: Fuck I'm frustrated [Re: zee007]
#18883518 - 09/24/13 05:06 AM (10 years, 4 months ago) |
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Don't let the system fuck you in the ass, don't play along, keep everything confidential, confidential.
I can't stress all that enough, but am too tired to give my reasoning.
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st1llnox
dx'd PTSD/ADHD--please don't ask



Registered: 11/27/12
Posts: 7,312
Loc: 913 KANSAS CITY 816
Last seen: 5 years, 1 month
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Re: Fuck I'm frustrated [Re: zee007]
#18883527 - 09/24/13 05:13 AM (10 years, 4 months ago) |
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Quote:
zee007 said: My advice, always play stupid if you are stuck in a situation like that. I am not calling out every Phsychiatrists but many of them are misinformed and hard headed when it comes to drugs.
Meh... The way our brains work is too complex for one person to ever comprehend completely with today's tech. It just isn't right a condition as controversial as ADD/ADHD is allowed to even be diagnosed (assumed) by anyone.
Well said, and I've pedantically explored in extreme depth the differential diagnosis stuff for ADHD vs mood disorders. Bipolar and ADHD basically look the same behaviorally by and large, believe it or not. Most people I've met in psych wards where the doctors were trying to treat them for bipolar had a history of ADHD diagnosis in the past.
Don't worry though... you know how we all got diagnosed ADHD in the 90s? Now kids are getting bipolar, so it's really more about fads and fashions in diagnosis than anything else. And the fact that most people are too stupid to realize that qualifications don't make you infallible.
I don't want to play dumb though. I want it to be like my last doctor where I can tell him I'm going to do shrooms, and where we discuss pharmacology in depth, etc. Only problem with him though is when I'd get addicted to K2 again, that just confirmed for him I must have bipolar because I'd get psychotic even though the DSM even says it's not a mood disorder if it's a drug reaction causing the "symptoms". I could go into detail and actually show a few contradictions here, but it doesn't matter... by not playing dumb, I landed a job researching for him.
Ugh. I really do feel fucked for life though.
-------------------- Back, bitches. st1lln0x: so i'm on weed, temazepam, adderall, dexedrine, dxm, dph, alcohol, nicotine, caffeine, tryptophan, GABA, and kratom Cavemen_savemen: st1lln0x, do you feel like a robot yet? st1lln0x: I feel like a fucking Gundam Click to friend me on Steam for Counter-Strike
IS LIFE SKULLFUCKING YOU!? HAVE SOME FREE MORALE! Click if you want to feel you alone can do it! Click if you want to feel confident and beastly! Click if you want courage to let go and move on! And click the message if you need someone to talk to -- I'll understand, even if we "hate" each other on here
  
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st1llnox
dx'd PTSD/ADHD--please don't ask



Registered: 11/27/12
Posts: 7,312
Loc: 913 KANSAS CITY 816
Last seen: 5 years, 1 month
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Re: Fuck I'm frustrated [Re: zee007]
#18883531 - 09/24/13 05:17 AM (10 years, 4 months ago) |
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Quote:
zee007 said: Don't let the system fuck you in the ass, don't play along, keep everything confidential, confidential.
I can't stress all that enough, but am too tired to give my reasoning.
Men who understand eachother need not explain their reasoning. 
If anyone doesn't immediately get the logic behind that, they've clearly never been to a psychiatrist. I honestly wish I died before I went to a psych ward for the first time, but I don't wanna make this into a drama thread. 
Problem is (and I know what you mean by confidential), where I live there's a prescription database so pretty much any doctor can look up through the pharmacies everything you've ever been on. And I've been on everything, and nearly all of it fucks me up in some way but a psychiatrist that doesn't put people on pills is like a cow that doesn't make milk.
-------------------- Back, bitches. st1lln0x: so i'm on weed, temazepam, adderall, dexedrine, dxm, dph, alcohol, nicotine, caffeine, tryptophan, GABA, and kratom Cavemen_savemen: st1lln0x, do you feel like a robot yet? st1lln0x: I feel like a fucking Gundam Click to friend me on Steam for Counter-Strike
IS LIFE SKULLFUCKING YOU!? HAVE SOME FREE MORALE! Click if you want to feel you alone can do it! Click if you want to feel confident and beastly! Click if you want courage to let go and move on! And click the message if you need someone to talk to -- I'll understand, even if we "hate" each other on here
  
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zee007
Gone.



Registered: 11/15/12
Posts: 3,851
Loc:
Last seen: 4 years, 1 month
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Re: Fuck I'm frustrated [Re: st1llnox]
#18883539 - 09/24/13 05:24 AM (10 years, 4 months ago) |
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Quote:
st1llnox said:
Quote:
zee007 said: My advice, always play stupid if you are stuck in a situation like that. I am not calling out every Phsychiatrists but many of them are misinformed and hard headed when it comes to drugs.
Meh... The way our brains work is too complex for one person to ever comprehend completely with today's tech. It just isn't right a condition as controversial as ADD/ADHD is allowed to even be diagnosed (assumed) by anyone.
Well said, and I've pedantically explored in extreme depth the differential diagnosis stuff for ADHD vs mood disorders. Bipolar and ADHD basically look the same behaviorally by and large, believe it or not. Most people I've met in psych wards where the doctors were trying to treat them for bipolar had a history of ADHD diagnosis in the past.
Don't worry though... you know how we all got diagnosed ADHD in the 90s? Now kids are getting bipolar, so it's really more about fads and fashions in diagnosis than anything else. And the fact that most people are too stupid to realize that qualifications don't make you infallible.
I don't want to play dumb though. I want it to be like my last doctor where I can tell him I'm going to do shrooms, and where we discuss pharmacology in depth, etc. Only problem with him though is when I'd get addicted to K2 again, that just confirmed for him I must have bipolar because I'd get psychotic even though the DSM even says it's not a mood disorder if it's a drug reaction causing the "symptoms". I could go into detail and actually show a few contradictions here, but it doesn't matter... by not playing dumb, I landed a job researching for him.
Ugh. I really do feel fucked for life though.
See look at ya Nox, you called out the mood disorder bs but your spending time looking into it. Dont let that idiot get to your head. Keep a look out for new drugs, once something new is on the market seems like everyone "needs" it. System is fucked.
I don't mean act dumb literally. Just act innocent and don't say too much until you are confident the psych will react in your favor towards being open/honest about unstable subjects.
Edited by zee007 (09/24/13 05:26 AM)
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st1llnox
dx'd PTSD/ADHD--please don't ask



Registered: 11/27/12
Posts: 7,312
Loc: 913 KANSAS CITY 816
Last seen: 5 years, 1 month
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Re: Fuck I'm frustrated [Re: zee007]
#18883546 - 09/24/13 05:34 AM (10 years, 4 months ago) |
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Quote:
zee007 said: I don't mean act dumb literally. Just act innocent and don't say too much until you are confident the psych will react in your favor towards being open/honest about unstable subjects.
I know but like... she had no ground for that diagnosis.
I mean, I was kind of frank on my intake paperwork, but frankly I've dealt with psychiatrists that I would be thrilled to castrate. Only the ones that put rape victims through shock treatment and diagnosed them with schizophrenia in psych wards kinda ones though. Still... 
I mean we got into talking about Stephen Stahl so she knows I'm at least an expert patient.
If she wants to mood stabilize me with Marinol, then I probably won't pull her healthgrades rating from whatever it's at down to 1/5 like I did to that stupid oxycontin addict I saw a couple times before this nurse lady.
Ugh.
-------------------- Back, bitches. st1lln0x: so i'm on weed, temazepam, adderall, dexedrine, dxm, dph, alcohol, nicotine, caffeine, tryptophan, GABA, and kratom Cavemen_savemen: st1lln0x, do you feel like a robot yet? st1lln0x: I feel like a fucking Gundam Click to friend me on Steam for Counter-Strike
IS LIFE SKULLFUCKING YOU!? HAVE SOME FREE MORALE! Click if you want to feel you alone can do it! Click if you want to feel confident and beastly! Click if you want courage to let go and move on! And click the message if you need someone to talk to -- I'll understand, even if we "hate" each other on here
  
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mellowparty
legitimate researcher


Registered: 05/17/09
Posts: 18,467
Last seen: 10 years, 2 months
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Re: Fuck I'm frustrated [Re: st1llnox] 1
#18883553 - 09/24/13 05:41 AM (10 years, 4 months ago) |
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Why don't you just buy drugs from a dealer like a real person not like someone who was meant to be a whinny girl but was born a boy?
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st1llnox
dx'd PTSD/ADHD--please don't ask



Registered: 11/27/12
Posts: 7,312
Loc: 913 KANSAS CITY 816
Last seen: 5 years, 1 month
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Quote:
mellowparty said: Why don't you just buy drugs from a dealer like a real person not like someone who was meant to be a whinny girl but was born a boy?
Oh wow why didn't I think of buying 120 adderall a month at street prices out of my own pocket while I work for minimum wage while I'm drowning in debt... I really should have thought of that. Thanks mellowparty.
-------------------- Back, bitches. st1lln0x: so i'm on weed, temazepam, adderall, dexedrine, dxm, dph, alcohol, nicotine, caffeine, tryptophan, GABA, and kratom Cavemen_savemen: st1lln0x, do you feel like a robot yet? st1lln0x: I feel like a fucking Gundam Click to friend me on Steam for Counter-Strike
IS LIFE SKULLFUCKING YOU!? HAVE SOME FREE MORALE! Click if you want to feel you alone can do it! Click if you want to feel confident and beastly! Click if you want courage to let go and move on! And click the message if you need someone to talk to -- I'll understand, even if we "hate" each other on here
  
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memes
Blessed



Registered: 01/11/05
Posts: 27,785
Loc: In a Tree
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Re: Fuck I'm frustrated [Re: st1llnox] 1
#18883557 - 09/24/13 05:47 AM (10 years, 4 months ago) |
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Quote:
st1llnox said: And nobody's going to read that anyway... too long and not enough graemlins 
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mellowparty
legitimate researcher


Registered: 05/17/09
Posts: 18,467
Last seen: 10 years, 2 months
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Re: Fuck I'm frustrated [Re: st1llnox]
#18883558 - 09/24/13 05:48 AM (10 years, 4 months ago) |
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So you're working minimum wage job and in debt yet you still buy drugs all the time by whining to retarded docs giving out psychoactive drugs like candy. You truly are exceeding at life.
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st1llnox
dx'd PTSD/ADHD--please don't ask



Registered: 11/27/12
Posts: 7,312
Loc: 913 KANSAS CITY 816
Last seen: 5 years, 1 month
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Quote:
mellowparty said: So you're working minimum wage job and in debt yet you still buy drugs all the time by whining to retarded docs giving out psychoactive drugs like candy. You truly are exceeding at life.
I don't buy drugs
-------------------- Back, bitches. st1lln0x: so i'm on weed, temazepam, adderall, dexedrine, dxm, dph, alcohol, nicotine, caffeine, tryptophan, GABA, and kratom Cavemen_savemen: st1lln0x, do you feel like a robot yet? st1lln0x: I feel like a fucking Gundam Click to friend me on Steam for Counter-Strike
IS LIFE SKULLFUCKING YOU!? HAVE SOME FREE MORALE! Click if you want to feel you alone can do it! Click if you want to feel confident and beastly! Click if you want courage to let go and move on! And click the message if you need someone to talk to -- I'll understand, even if we "hate" each other on here
  
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memes
Blessed



Registered: 01/11/05
Posts: 27,785
Loc: In a Tree
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Re: Fuck I'm frustrated [Re: st1llnox]
#18883563 - 09/24/13 05:50 AM (10 years, 4 months ago) |
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Quote:
st1llnox said:
I don't buy drugs 
I tell my parents i'm sick, then i later tell them i lost the bottle of tussin'
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mellowparty
legitimate researcher


Registered: 05/17/09
Posts: 18,467
Last seen: 10 years, 2 months
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Re: Fuck I'm frustrated [Re: st1llnox]
#18883565 - 09/24/13 05:51 AM (10 years, 4 months ago) |
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Quote:
st1llnox said:
Quote:
mellowparty said: So you're working minimum wage job and in debt yet you still buy drugs all the time by whining to retarded docs giving out psychoactive drugs like candy. You truly are exceeding at life.
I don't buy drugs 
Oh so your parents do it for you. Even better.
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st1llnox
dx'd PTSD/ADHD--please don't ask



Registered: 11/27/12
Posts: 7,312
Loc: 913 KANSAS CITY 816
Last seen: 5 years, 1 month
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Re: Fuck I'm frustrated [Re: memes]
#18883567 - 09/24/13 05:52 AM (10 years, 4 months ago) |
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Quote:
memes said:
Quote:
st1llnox said:
I don't buy drugs 
I tell my parents i'm sick, then i later tell them i lost the bottle of tussin'
I haven't bought DXM in a while now. 
Quote:
Oh so your parents do it for you. Even better.
I'll assume you're drunk as fuck or something. I've never had them buy me robitussin.
-------------------- Back, bitches. st1lln0x: so i'm on weed, temazepam, adderall, dexedrine, dxm, dph, alcohol, nicotine, caffeine, tryptophan, GABA, and kratom Cavemen_savemen: st1lln0x, do you feel like a robot yet? st1lln0x: I feel like a fucking Gundam Click to friend me on Steam for Counter-Strike
IS LIFE SKULLFUCKING YOU!? HAVE SOME FREE MORALE! Click if you want to feel you alone can do it! Click if you want to feel confident and beastly! Click if you want courage to let go and move on! And click the message if you need someone to talk to -- I'll understand, even if we "hate" each other on here
  
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memes
Blessed



Registered: 01/11/05
Posts: 27,785
Loc: In a Tree
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Re: Fuck I'm frustrated [Re: st1llnox]
#18883569 - 09/24/13 05:53 AM (10 years, 4 months ago) |
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don't get all defensive. are you surprised we poke at you for this shit? it's daily.
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mellowparty
legitimate researcher


Registered: 05/17/09
Posts: 18,467
Last seen: 10 years, 2 months
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Re: Fuck I'm frustrated [Re: st1llnox]
#18883570 - 09/24/13 05:54 AM (10 years, 4 months ago) |
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Who said anything about buying robitussin? So how do you afford 120 adderall a month and benzos and opiates for your papercut thumb etc?
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lessismore
Registered: 02/10/13
Posts: 6,268
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Re: Fuck I'm frustrated [Re: memes]
#18883573 - 09/24/13 05:54 AM (10 years, 4 months ago) |
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Why didn't you sue them for putting you in the ward with schizophrenia?
it's not like ADHD mimics schizophrenia at all
and they put your health at risk with feeding you random pills
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Everlong
King of the Neckbeards


Registered: 03/24/08
Posts: 9,087
Loc: Poconos
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Re: Fuck I'm frustrated [Re: st1llnox]
#18883581 - 09/24/13 06:02 AM (10 years, 4 months ago) |
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Quote:
st1llnox said: And I've been on everything, and nearly all of it fucks me up in some way but a psychiatrist that doesn't put people on pills is like a cow that doesn't make milk.
Quote:
st1llnox said: and at least I have an Adderall script again--for now, anyway.
Quote:
st1llnox said: If she wants to mood stabilize me with Marinol, then I probably won't pull her healthgrades rating from whatever it's at down to 1/5 like I did to that stupid oxycontin addict I saw a couple times before this nurse lady.

That's the only reason you go to psychs, is in an attempt to acquire whatever drugs you think you need.
Quote:
st1llnox said: I mean we got into talking about Stephen Stahl so she knows I'm at least an expert patient.
"expert patient"
--------------------
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st1llnox
dx'd PTSD/ADHD--please don't ask



Registered: 11/27/12
Posts: 7,312
Loc: 913 KANSAS CITY 816
Last seen: 5 years, 1 month
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Re: Fuck I'm frustrated [Re: lessismore]
#18883582 - 09/24/13 06:03 AM (10 years, 4 months ago) |
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Ok, I'm weeding the garden so to speak.
Mellow: They're prescribed by doctors who know that say, if you can't sleep for days you need a benzo, or that if you have a horrific infection that's making part of your hand go numb and throbbing in pain constantly, that you need some hydrocodone.
Memes: Again, tard.
I won't miss seeing your posts or replies.
Quote:
mio said: Why didn't you sue them for putting you in the ward with schizophrenia?
it's not like ADHD mimics schizophrenia at all
and they put your health at risk with feeding you random pills
It was way worse than that. They'd put me on pills, i'd react badly (i.e. they give me symptoms) throw on more pills in response to that, etc.
I didn't even know I had ADHD at that point... I was hospitalized for "depression and cannabis dependence", left with a schizo diagnosis after a month and a half. It completely ruined my life. I haven't always helped, but does anyone go out of their way to take good care of what's broken?
IDK. My family doctor immediately brought up that this bordered on malpractice what happened. They did the exact same thing the second time I got sent to that hospital following an OD. They put me on all sorts of histaminergics, which i react opposite to (most people get drowsy) but they make me agitated and sleepless. But they don't let you go unless you take the shit.
So, they finally figured this out after I kept telling them and put in my records "NO MORE HISTAMINE ANYTHING", but of course since I was (iatrogenically) hypomanic, they diagnosed me this time with bipolar and had me literally so doped up I was slurring my speech last time. That particular hospital is terrifying. They were doing ECT on a rape victim they thought was hallucinating. I thought she might have actually been schizo too until she had someone bring a news story about it. Somehow, they still couldn't shock that delusion out of her head.
My grandpa's dying which isn't helping my psyche, but more relevantly I don't even have the option of suicide for at least another 8-10 months since my mom will be dealing with losing her father. I'll try to make a point of going out like ripper so at least people like memes and mellow can feel good I guess. I'm going to really do my best next semester though and maybe things will turn around I hope.
-------------------- Back, bitches. st1lln0x: so i'm on weed, temazepam, adderall, dexedrine, dxm, dph, alcohol, nicotine, caffeine, tryptophan, GABA, and kratom Cavemen_savemen: st1lln0x, do you feel like a robot yet? st1lln0x: I feel like a fucking Gundam Click to friend me on Steam for Counter-Strike
IS LIFE SKULLFUCKING YOU!? HAVE SOME FREE MORALE! Click if you want to feel you alone can do it! Click if you want to feel confident and beastly! Click if you want courage to let go and move on! And click the message if you need someone to talk to -- I'll understand, even if we "hate" each other on here
  
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st1llnox
dx'd PTSD/ADHD--please don't ask



Registered: 11/27/12
Posts: 7,312
Loc: 913 KANSAS CITY 816
Last seen: 5 years, 1 month
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Re: Fuck I'm frustrated [Re: st1llnox]
#18883585 - 09/24/13 06:06 AM (10 years, 4 months ago) |
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expert patient isn't an uncommon term, and if applies to anyone it applies to someone whose psychiatrist dropped him to take him on as a research assistant. 
And wut... you mean if you've tried most drugs and you seem to know what ones work and don't, that you're just trying to go to docs for the drugs you think you need?
I apologize if you weren't actually being a douche there; your post was kind of ambiguous but I'm erring on the side of it being mockery.
The marinol thing was a joke. i'll stabilize my own damn mood with some dank ass nugs
-------------------- Back, bitches. st1lln0x: so i'm on weed, temazepam, adderall, dexedrine, dxm, dph, alcohol, nicotine, caffeine, tryptophan, GABA, and kratom Cavemen_savemen: st1lln0x, do you feel like a robot yet? st1lln0x: I feel like a fucking Gundam Click to friend me on Steam for Counter-Strike
IS LIFE SKULLFUCKING YOU!? HAVE SOME FREE MORALE! Click if you want to feel you alone can do it! Click if you want to feel confident and beastly! Click if you want courage to let go and move on! And click the message if you need someone to talk to -- I'll understand, even if we "hate" each other on here
  
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Everlong
King of the Neckbeards


Registered: 03/24/08
Posts: 9,087
Loc: Poconos
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Re: Fuck I'm frustrated [Re: st1llnox]
#18883592 - 09/24/13 06:15 AM (10 years, 4 months ago) |
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Quote:
st1llnox said: expert patient isn't an uncommon term, and if applies to anyone it applies to someone whose psychiatrist dropped him to take him on as a research assistant. 
Whoa broseph you were dropped by your psych so he could take you on as a research assistant?! More ego boosting. You haven't done anything yet, stop attempting to use that as some sort of rhetorical.
Quote:
And wut... you mean if you've tried most drugs and you seem to know what ones work and don't, that you're just trying to go to docs for the drugs you think you need?
You make a million threads crying about how psychiatrists try to push prescriptions on you, and in the same thread cry that they aren't giving you what you want. You don't see the hypocrisy in that?
Quote:
I apologize if you weren't actually being a douche there; your post was kind of ambiguous but I'm erring on the side of it being mockery.
The marinol thing was a joke. i'll stabilize my own damn mood with some dank ass nugs 
I'm usually always a douche.
--------------------
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dark3st
Stranger

Registered: 08/02/13
Posts: 3,332
Last seen: 8 years, 3 months
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Re: Fuck I'm frustrated [Re: Everlong]
#18883596 - 09/24/13 06:17 AM (10 years, 4 months ago) |
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This thread is full of lols.
Expert patient lol are you sure your not schizophrenia?
-------------------- Back.. I'm going to do it...I'm getting sober from opiates ... I got weed, gabapentin, propranolol, and GHB, I have 100mg tramadol left. I can do this. I can do this. OFINTQWGVGAKGCYKBUBX free dark P. Tampanensis prints to ODD members.
no stamps atm FREE SEEDS for ODD WCA members ONLY I have these seeds: Orange, red, and yellow sweet peppers, Purple poppies, White Habanero, Yellow Thai, Bolivian rainbow peppers, milk thistle, red chilly pepper, HBWR.
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lessismore
Registered: 02/10/13
Posts: 6,268
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Re: Fuck I'm frustrated [Re: st1llnox]
#18883597 - 09/24/13 06:17 AM (10 years, 4 months ago) |
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Pills / weed can often worsen the mood
I never had suicide thoughts before, before I smoked weed everyday, there I had them often(or when I ate tramadol everyday) they were gone when I quit
My best wishes to your grandpa
I don't believe death is the end, I just lost my grandmom few months ago
What matters is enjoying life while you're living / making others happy we're all going to die one day
do something good for your grandpa, that will make him happy and from knowing you are doing well and are healthy
weed everyday made living hard for me, I had to quit dunno if you smoke everyday, but I couldn't control it
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mellowparty
legitimate researcher


Registered: 05/17/09
Posts: 18,467
Last seen: 10 years, 2 months
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Re: Fuck I'm frustrated [Re: st1llnox] 1
#18883600 - 09/24/13 06:19 AM (10 years, 4 months ago) |
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Quote:
st1llnox said: Mellow: They're prescribed by doctors who know that say, if you can't sleep for days you need a benzo, or that if you have a horrific infection that's making part of your hand go numb and throbbing in pain constantly, that you need some hydrocodone.
No legit doctor is going to prescribe benzodiazepines first time for insomnia that you are faking anyway. They will try a range of milder drugs like mirtazapine, Z-drugs (especially those) etc and when it all fails then they might consider benzos.
And you don't need hydrocodone for an inflamed thumb. You need something with corticosteroids and an antibiotic (say dexamethasone and an orally available β-lactam). I never felt the need to take opiates when I had my wisdom tooth pulled out nor when I had a metal pin screwed inside a broken joint nor when the periosteum had to be scraped with a surgical screwdriver one year later (the periosteum is abundant in nerves). Plus are you that big of a sissy that you can't endure a little pain?
Yes it did hurt like hell but there are viable alternatives to opiates. IMO opiates should be reserved for more serious wounds like getting shot, stabbed or when you get cancer pains.
IMO you have a serious drug problem, are in denial about it and have some psychological pathology which is visible in the myriad of nonsensical threads you're polluting the pub with daily.
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badchad
Mad Scientist

Registered: 03/02/05
Posts: 13,372
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Re: Fuck I'm frustrated [Re: st1llnox]
#18883602 - 09/24/13 06:20 AM (10 years, 4 months ago) |
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Isn't this like the third or 4th psychiatrist you've visited now?
It seems like there may be a commonality here.
-------------------- ...the whole experience is (and is as) a profound piece of knowledge. It is an indellible experience; it is forever known. I have known myself in a way I doubt I would have ever occurred except as it did. Smith, P. Bull. Menninger Clinic (1959) 23:20-27; p. 27. ...most subjects find the experience valuable, some find it frightening, and many say that is it uniquely lovely. Osmond, H. Annals, NY Acad Science (1957) 66:418-434; p.436
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mellowparty
legitimate researcher


Registered: 05/17/09
Posts: 18,467
Last seen: 10 years, 2 months
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Quote:
i'll stabilize my own damn mood with some dank ass nugs
Also you're a fool if you believe that weed has viable mood stabilizing properties.
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mellowparty
legitimate researcher


Registered: 05/17/09
Posts: 18,467
Last seen: 10 years, 2 months
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Re: Fuck I'm frustrated [Re: badchad] 2
#18883606 - 09/24/13 06:22 AM (10 years, 4 months ago) |
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Quote:
badchad said: Isn't this like the third or 4th psychiatrist you've visited now?
It seems like there may be a commonality here.
He is just probing different docs to see which are most likely to fuel his outta control drug habit. Its pathetic.
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dark3st
Stranger

Registered: 08/02/13
Posts: 3,332
Last seen: 8 years, 3 months
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Quote:
mellowparty said:
Quote:
st1llnox said: Mellow: They're prescribed by doctors who know that say, if you can't sleep for days you need a benzo, or that if you have a horrific infection that's making part of your hand go numb and throbbing in pain constantly, that you need some hydrocodone.
No legit doctor is going to prescribe benzodiazepines first time for insomnia that you are faking anyway. They will try a range of milder drugs like mirtazapine, Z-drugs (especially those) etc and when it all fails then they might consider benzos.
And you don't need hydrocodone for an inflamed thumb. You need something with corticosteroids and an antibiotic (say dexamethasone and an orally available β-lactam). I never felt the need to take opiates when I had my wisdom tooth pulled out nor when I had a metal pin screwed inside a broken joint nor when the periosteum had to be scraped with a surgical screwdriver one year later (the periosteum is abundant in nerves). Plus are you that big of a sissy that you can't endure a little pain?
Yes it did hurt like hell but there are viable alternatives to opiates. IMO opiates should be reserved for more serious wounds like getting shot, stabbed or when you get cancer pains.
IMO you have a serious drug problem, are in denial about it and have some psychological pathology which is visible in the myriad of nonsensical threads you're polluting the pub with daily.
-------------------- Back.. I'm going to do it...I'm getting sober from opiates ... I got weed, gabapentin, propranolol, and GHB, I have 100mg tramadol left. I can do this. I can do this. OFINTQWGVGAKGCYKBUBX free dark P. Tampanensis prints to ODD members.
no stamps atm FREE SEEDS for ODD WCA members ONLY I have these seeds: Orange, red, and yellow sweet peppers, Purple poppies, White Habanero, Yellow Thai, Bolivian rainbow peppers, milk thistle, red chilly pepper, HBWR.
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st1llnox
dx'd PTSD/ADHD--please don't ask



Registered: 11/27/12
Posts: 7,312
Loc: 913 KANSAS CITY 816
Last seen: 5 years, 1 month
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Re: Fuck I'm frustrated [Re: badchad]
#18883614 - 09/24/13 06:24 AM (10 years, 4 months ago) |
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If I went into why he decided he wanted me as a research assistant, you'd only see it as more ego-boosting. And it wasn't ego boosting... you just simply seem not to be able to understand that there are patients that actually know what works and doesn't for them, and also patients that research and fact check extensively and end up becoming experts of sorts.
Refrain from posting useless replies, please. For an example of a useful reply, see Zee007's replies earlier in the thread.
Quote:
dark3st said: This thread is full of lols.
Expert patient lol are you sure your not schizophrenia?
Hmm... (btw that would be "you're"), I don't think I am or my ex-psycdoc would have probably thought I should be a patient and not a research assistant. Dontchoo think?  Quote:
badchad said: Isn't this like the third or 4th psychiatrist you've visited now?
It seems like there may be a commonality here.
Nah, I had a really good one for like 2 years, then switched to a dud, and now I've got a dud that's at least gonna pill me up enough to get through my calc review. 
Word to the wise: if you have any drug history but want or need stimulant meds to help focus, don't see an 8-year-clean oxy addict psychiatrist to start filling your adderall.
-------------------- Back, bitches. st1lln0x: so i'm on weed, temazepam, adderall, dexedrine, dxm, dph, alcohol, nicotine, caffeine, tryptophan, GABA, and kratom Cavemen_savemen: st1lln0x, do you feel like a robot yet? st1lln0x: I feel like a fucking Gundam Click to friend me on Steam for Counter-Strike
IS LIFE SKULLFUCKING YOU!? HAVE SOME FREE MORALE! Click if you want to feel you alone can do it! Click if you want to feel confident and beastly! Click if you want courage to let go and move on! And click the message if you need someone to talk to -- I'll understand, even if we "hate" each other on here
  
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zee007
Gone.



Registered: 11/15/12
Posts: 3,851
Loc:
Last seen: 4 years, 1 month
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Quote:
mellowparty said:
Quote:
i'll stabilize my own damn mood with some dank ass nugs
Also you're a fool if you believe that weed has viable mood stabilizing properties.
Your weed is bunk
Seriously though... Weed does a lot of things, as well as "stabalizing mood" if you know how to dose yourself correctly.
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st1llnox
dx'd PTSD/ADHD--please don't ask



Registered: 11/27/12
Posts: 7,312
Loc: 913 KANSAS CITY 816
Last seen: 5 years, 1 month
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Re: Fuck I'm frustrated [Re: lessismore]
#18883620 - 09/24/13 06:28 AM (10 years, 4 months ago) |
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Quote:
mio said: Pills / weed can often worsen the mood
I never had suicide thoughts before, before I smoked weed everyday, there I had them often(or when I ate tramadol everyday) they were gone when I quit
My best wishes to your grandpa
I don't believe death is the end, I just lost my grandmom few months ago
What matters is enjoying life while you're living / making others happy we're all going to die one day
do something good for your grandpa, that will make him happy and from knowing you are doing well and are healthy
weed everyday made living hard for me, I had to quit dunno if you smoke everyday, but I couldn't control it
Tramadol coulda been getting ya both ways... it's got some sort of classic antidepressant pharmacology to it, norepi IIRC, that could have complicated it.
Thanks and I hope it's not the end. I'm sorry about your grandma... I hope you're doing okay and that she's in a better place.
I don't really smoke weed anymore. Maybe like once a month if it's offered. Not in a financial situation for it. IDK if weed would help or hurt... too many other factors, plus till I get used to it, stims leave me feeling depressed at the end of the day. 
Thanks for actual good input. I really wonder what poeple's lives are like if they have to go after someone (and who just got hired by a renouned psychiatrist/psychiatry professor) for calling themselves an expert patient
-------------------- Back, bitches. st1lln0x: so i'm on weed, temazepam, adderall, dexedrine, dxm, dph, alcohol, nicotine, caffeine, tryptophan, GABA, and kratom Cavemen_savemen: st1lln0x, do you feel like a robot yet? st1lln0x: I feel like a fucking Gundam Click to friend me on Steam for Counter-Strike
IS LIFE SKULLFUCKING YOU!? HAVE SOME FREE MORALE! Click if you want to feel you alone can do it! Click if you want to feel confident and beastly! Click if you want courage to let go and move on! And click the message if you need someone to talk to -- I'll understand, even if we "hate" each other on here
  
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st1llnox
dx'd PTSD/ADHD--please don't ask



Registered: 11/27/12
Posts: 7,312
Loc: 913 KANSAS CITY 816
Last seen: 5 years, 1 month
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Re: Fuck I'm frustrated [Re: zee007]
#18883627 - 09/24/13 06:31 AM (10 years, 4 months ago) |
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dark3st said:
That is the highest quality post you've made yet! 
Quote:
zee007 said: Your weed is bunk
Seriously though... Weed does a lot of things, as well as "stabalizing mood" if you know how to dose yourself correctly.
I agree. Before my parents actually noticed me smoking it once day, they'd been commenting for weeks over the summer when I was using it MODERATELY about how much more they've been enjoying my company.
I swear it even helps (if you just smoke a LITTLE) with focus, although the memory retention thing may be an issue. Like, before I actually had a proper dx and an adderall script, sometimes I'd take my reading assignments out into the woods, hit my battie, and I could just read for an hour or two straight.
-------------------- Back, bitches. st1lln0x: so i'm on weed, temazepam, adderall, dexedrine, dxm, dph, alcohol, nicotine, caffeine, tryptophan, GABA, and kratom Cavemen_savemen: st1lln0x, do you feel like a robot yet? st1lln0x: I feel like a fucking Gundam Click to friend me on Steam for Counter-Strike
IS LIFE SKULLFUCKING YOU!? HAVE SOME FREE MORALE! Click if you want to feel you alone can do it! Click if you want to feel confident and beastly! Click if you want courage to let go and move on! And click the message if you need someone to talk to -- I'll understand, even if we "hate" each other on here
  
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lessismore
Registered: 02/10/13
Posts: 6,268
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Re: Fuck I'm frustrated [Re: lessismore]
#18883635 - 09/24/13 06:34 AM (10 years, 4 months ago) |
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btw I think I got adhd too
when I don't smoke I get an F, unless I can find a place with zero noise to study in (then I can barely pass usually, or if I work 10x harder than everyone else I can sometimes get a B or A, have to read everything over and over about 10 times before I can remember it)
when I smoke I get a A or B always, seems smoking helps me read
the downside is that smoking ruined my life when I did it
you have to pay the price for drug abuse
I would rather drop school if the meds were making me miserable I've never been able to read a whole book yet in my life, never make it past a few pages
there are more ways in life to be happy than school having freetime is important too, that you can have with a normal job much easier than with Uni if you become self-employed you can do anything you always wanted
the most important thing in life is to be yourself you can't be yourself with stress/pills/constant thoughts(worries) etc.
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Everlong
King of the Neckbeards


Registered: 03/24/08
Posts: 9,087
Loc: Poconos
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Re: Fuck I'm frustrated [Re: st1llnox]
#18883637 - 09/24/13 06:38 AM (10 years, 4 months ago) |
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Quote:
st1llnox said: If I went into why he decided he wanted me as a research assistant, you'd only see it as more ego-boosting. And it wasn't ego boosting... you just simply seem not to be able to understand that there are patients that actually know what works and doesn't for them, and also patients that research and fact check extensively and end up becoming experts of sorts.
Refrain from posting useless replies, please. For an example of a useful reply, see Zee007's replies earlier in the thread.
It was ego boosting, it had nothing to do with my finding yourself as an "expert patient" funny. You just replied with it because you felt I hurt your ego, so you had to boost it.
I understand there are patients that know what works and what doesn't. Unfortunately from all of your psych shopping posts, I don't think you are one.
Also, this the pub so I don't care what kind of replies you want. If you want serious answers you should post these sorts of threads in Physical and Mental Well-being, that's the point of that forum you know.
--------------------
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mellowparty
legitimate researcher


Registered: 05/17/09
Posts: 18,467
Last seen: 10 years, 2 months
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Re: Fuck I'm frustrated [Re: zee007] 1
#18883640 - 09/24/13 06:40 AM (10 years, 4 months ago) |
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Quote:
zee007 said:
Quote:
mellowparty said:
Quote:
i'll stabilize my own damn mood with some dank ass nugs
Also you're a fool if you believe that weed has viable mood stabilizing properties.
Your weed is bunk
Seriously though... Weed does a lot of things, as well as "stabalizing mood" if you know how to dose yourself correctly.
I dose my weed by the drop or with a syringe.
Srsly tho just because you "chill" when you're stoned doesn't mean it won't have repercussions when it wears off. Following your logic opiates would be great mood stabilizers.
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st1llnox
dx'd PTSD/ADHD--please don't ask



Registered: 11/27/12
Posts: 7,312
Loc: 913 KANSAS CITY 816
Last seen: 5 years, 1 month
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Re: Fuck I'm frustrated [Re: lessismore]
#18883643 - 09/24/13 06:41 AM (10 years, 4 months ago) |
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Quote:
mio said: btw I think I got adhd too
when I don't smoke I get an F, unless I can find a place with zero noise to study in (then I can barely pass usually, or if I work 10x harder than everyone else I can sometimes get a B or A, have to read everything over and over about 10 times before I can remember it)
when I smoke I get a A or B always, seems smoking helps me read
the downside is that smoking ruined my life when I did it
you have to pay the price for drug abuse
I would rather drop school if the meds were making me miserable I've never been able to read a whole book yet in my life, never make it past a few pages
there are more ways in life to be happy than school having freetime is important too, that you can have with a normal job much easier than with Uni if you become self-employed you can do anything you always wanted
the most important thing in life is to be yourself you can't be yourself with stress/pills/constant thoughts(worries) etc.
Yeah... seems like we got a +1 on weed potentially helping ADHD. (WARNING: EGO BOOST-LOOKING THING AHEAD, TROLLS GO BACK TO OTD, DO NOT PROCEED) I actually hold a certain record at my university academics-wise from a semester where I was stoned a lot of the time... the trick is to stay busy and involved, and find sober things to enjoy too.
Mio, do you ever "hyperfocus"? It's a hallmark of ADHD that comes in handy actually lol.
Not making suggestions here, but have you tried Adderall or something similar? I'm curious how it affected you if so.
I'll keep an open mind on the Adderall thing but frankly, I need all the help I can get keeping my life in order now and I want to be set up for success as much as possible when I return to college next spring.
I can honestly say that if psychiatry had never gotten involved (I was forced into it after I couldn't sleep from K2 withdrawal), I'd still be a super high functioning stoner and probably in grad school by now. Smoking doesn't have to catch up with you if you don't chase it.
Then again, I've overdone it pretty bad a few months ago but frankly I was using anything and everything as an escape/to cope, so I wasn't really on "man I'm doing well in life and this makes it even better!" mode lol
-------------------- Back, bitches. st1lln0x: so i'm on weed, temazepam, adderall, dexedrine, dxm, dph, alcohol, nicotine, caffeine, tryptophan, GABA, and kratom Cavemen_savemen: st1lln0x, do you feel like a robot yet? st1lln0x: I feel like a fucking Gundam Click to friend me on Steam for Counter-Strike
IS LIFE SKULLFUCKING YOU!? HAVE SOME FREE MORALE! Click if you want to feel you alone can do it! Click if you want to feel confident and beastly! Click if you want courage to let go and move on! And click the message if you need someone to talk to -- I'll understand, even if we "hate" each other on here
  
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st1llnox
dx'd PTSD/ADHD--please don't ask



Registered: 11/27/12
Posts: 7,312
Loc: 913 KANSAS CITY 816
Last seen: 5 years, 1 month
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Re: Fuck I'm frustrated [Re: Everlong]
#18883644 - 09/24/13 06:42 AM (10 years, 4 months ago) |
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Quote:
Everlong said:
Quote:
st1llnox said: If I went into why he decided he wanted me as a research assistant, you'd only see it as more ego-boosting. And it wasn't ego boosting... you just simply seem not to be able to understand that there are patients that actually know what works and doesn't for them, and also patients that research and fact check extensively and end up becoming experts of sorts.
Refrain from posting useless replies, please. For an example of a useful reply, see Zee007's replies earlier in the thread.
It was ego boosting, it had nothing to do with my finding yourself as an "expert patient" funny. You just replied with it because you felt I hurt your ego, so you had to boost it.
I understand there are patients that know what works and what doesn't. Unfortunately from all of your psych shopping posts, I don't think you are one.
Also, this the pub so I don't care what kind of replies you want. If you want serious answers you should post these sorts of threads in Physical and Mental Well-being, that's the point of that forum you know.
If I went into why he decided he wanted me as a research assistant, you'd only see it as more ego-boosting. And it wasn't ego boosting... you just simply seem not to be able to understand that there are patients that actually know what works and doesn't for them, and also patients that research and fact check extensively and end up becoming experts of sorts.
Refrain from posting useless replies, please. For an example of a useful reply, see Zee007's replies earlier in the thread.
-------------------- Back, bitches. st1lln0x: so i'm on weed, temazepam, adderall, dexedrine, dxm, dph, alcohol, nicotine, caffeine, tryptophan, GABA, and kratom Cavemen_savemen: st1lln0x, do you feel like a robot yet? st1lln0x: I feel like a fucking Gundam Click to friend me on Steam for Counter-Strike
IS LIFE SKULLFUCKING YOU!? HAVE SOME FREE MORALE! Click if you want to feel you alone can do it! Click if you want to feel confident and beastly! Click if you want courage to let go and move on! And click the message if you need someone to talk to -- I'll understand, even if we "hate" each other on here
  
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dark3st
Stranger

Registered: 08/02/13
Posts: 3,332
Last seen: 8 years, 3 months
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Re: Fuck I'm frustrated [Re: Everlong]
#18883646 - 09/24/13 06:43 AM (10 years, 4 months ago) |
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Quote:
Everlong said:
Quote:
st1llnox said: If I went into why he decided he wanted me as a research assistant, you'd only see it as more ego-boosting. And it wasn't ego boosting... you just simply seem not to be able to understand that there are patients that actually know what works and doesn't for them, and also patients that research and fact check extensively and end up becoming experts of sorts.
Refrain from posting useless replies, please. For an example of a useful reply, see Zee007's replies earlier in the thread.
It was ego boosting, it had nothing to do with my finding yourself as an "expert patient" funny. You just replied with it because you felt I hurt your ego, so you had to boost it.
I understand there are patients that know what works and what doesn't. Unfortunately from all of your psych shopping posts, I don't think you are one.
Also, this the pub so I don't care what kind of replies you want. If you want serious answers you should post these sorts of threads in Physical and Mental Well-being, that's the point of that forum you know.
-------------------- Back.. I'm going to do it...I'm getting sober from opiates ... I got weed, gabapentin, propranolol, and GHB, I have 100mg tramadol left. I can do this. I can do this. OFINTQWGVGAKGCYKBUBX free dark P. Tampanensis prints to ODD members.
no stamps atm FREE SEEDS for ODD WCA members ONLY I have these seeds: Orange, red, and yellow sweet peppers, Purple poppies, White Habanero, Yellow Thai, Bolivian rainbow peppers, milk thistle, red chilly pepper, HBWR.
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lessismore
Registered: 02/10/13
Posts: 6,268
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Re: Fuck I'm frustrated [Re: st1llnox]
#18883650 - 09/24/13 06:44 AM (10 years, 4 months ago) |
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Nope rarely, I have trouble focusing on anything
be it guitar playing, programming, repairing pcs, reading, writing (especially trouble reading)
I never focus for more than 2-5mins at a time, then I start doing something else lol
so if I read I would read for 2mins, then turn on music, play guitar at the same time and go out and repair all my bicycles I have forgotten to repair and clean my house too at the same time I had forgotten/wash clothes at the same time 
I usually do many tasks at once, but rarely finish any on time
Don't think I've ever handed any assignment in on time, or been on time for any work, always late , seems it happens no matter what I do
Got 5 bicycles, 4 scooters, a toilet, 4 pcs/laptops that I have to repair that have broken currently, always delay it because I'm lazy apparently, always everything in last second
Even stuff that interests me, reading about programming/linux on my pc, or reading science stuff/interesting book I can't to for more than 2-5mins at a time, might be stress too (when I am at a very quiet place I can focus better , just not very well for more than 10-20mins max there it seems)
Edited by lessismore (09/24/13 06:50 AM)
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Everlong
King of the Neckbeards


Registered: 03/24/08
Posts: 9,087
Loc: Poconos
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Re: Fuck I'm frustrated [Re: st1llnox]
#18883651 - 09/24/13 06:44 AM (10 years, 4 months ago) |
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Quote:
st1llnox said:
Quote:
Everlong said:
Quote:
st1llnox said: If I went into why he decided he wanted me as a research assistant, you'd only see it as more ego-boosting. And it wasn't ego boosting... you just simply seem not to be able to understand that there are patients that actually know what works and doesn't for them, and also patients that research and fact check extensively and end up becoming experts of sorts.
Refrain from posting useless replies, please. For an example of a useful reply, see Zee007's replies earlier in the thread.
It was ego boosting, it had nothing to do with my finding yourself as an "expert patient" funny. You just replied with it because you felt I hurt your ego, so you had to boost it.
I understand there are patients that know what works and what doesn't. Unfortunately from all of your psych shopping posts, I don't think you are one.
Also, this the pub so I don't care what kind of replies you want. If you want serious answers you should post these sorts of threads in Physical and Mental Well-being, that's the point of that forum you know.
If I went into why he decided he wanted me as a research assistant, you'd only see it as more ego-boosting. And it wasn't ego boosting... you just simply seem not to be able to understand that there are patients that actually know what works and doesn't for them, and also patients that research and fact check extensively and end up becoming experts of sorts.
Refrain from posting useless replies, please. For an example of a useful reply, see Zee007's replies earlier in the thread.
It was ego boosting, it had nothing to do with my finding yourself as an "expert patient" funny. You just replied with it because you felt I hurt your ego, so you had to boost it.
I understand there are patients that know what works and what doesn't. Unfortunately from all of your psych shopping posts, I don't think you are one.
Also, this the pub so I don't care what kind of replies you want. If you want serious answers you should post these sorts of threads in Physical and Mental Well-being, that's the point of that forum you know.
EDIT: It's painfully obvious why you don't post these threads in the proper forum, btw.
--------------------
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dark3st
Stranger

Registered: 08/02/13
Posts: 3,332
Last seen: 8 years, 3 months
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Re: Fuck I'm frustrated [Re: Everlong]
#18883653 - 09/24/13 06:46 AM (10 years, 4 months ago) |
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Quote:
Everlong said:
Quote:
st1llnox said:
Quote:
Everlong said:
Quote:
st1llnox said: If I went into why he decided he wanted me as a research assistant, you'd only see it as more ego-boosting. And it wasn't ego boosting... you just simply seem not to be able to understand that there are patients that actually know what works and doesn't for them, and also patients that research and fact check extensively and end up becoming experts of sorts.
Refrain from posting useless replies, please. For an example of a useful reply, see Zee007's replies earlier in the thread.
It was ego boosting, it had nothing to do with my finding yourself as an "expert patient" funny. You just replied with it because you felt I hurt your ego, so you had to boost it.
I understand there are patients that know what works and what doesn't. Unfortunately from all of your psych shopping posts, I don't think you are one.
Also, this the pub so I don't care what kind of replies you want. If you want serious answers you should post these sorts of threads in Physical and Mental Well-being, that's the point of that forum you know.
If I went into why he decided he wanted me as a research assistant, you'd only see it as more ego-boosting. And it wasn't ego boosting... you just simply seem not to be able to understand that there are patients that actually know what works and doesn't for them, and also patients that research and fact check extensively and end up becoming experts of sorts.
Refrain from posting useless replies, please. For an example of a useful reply, see Zee007's replies earlier in the thread.
It was ego boosting, it had nothing to do with my finding yourself as an "expert patient" funny. You just replied with it because you felt I hurt your ego, so you had to boost it.
I understand there are patients that know what works and what doesn't. Unfortunately from all of your psych shopping posts, I don't think you are one.
Also, this the pub so I don't care what kind of replies you want. If you want serious answers you should post these sorts of threads in Physical and Mental Well-being, that's the point of that forum you know.
EDIT: It's painfully obvious why you don't post these threads in the proper forum, btw.
-------------------- Back.. I'm going to do it...I'm getting sober from opiates ... I got weed, gabapentin, propranolol, and GHB, I have 100mg tramadol left. I can do this. I can do this. OFINTQWGVGAKGCYKBUBX free dark P. Tampanensis prints to ODD members.
no stamps atm FREE SEEDS for ODD WCA members ONLY I have these seeds: Orange, red, and yellow sweet peppers, Purple poppies, White Habanero, Yellow Thai, Bolivian rainbow peppers, milk thistle, red chilly pepper, HBWR.
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st1llnox
dx'd PTSD/ADHD--please don't ask



Registered: 11/27/12
Posts: 7,312
Loc: 913 KANSAS CITY 816
Last seen: 5 years, 1 month
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Re: Fuck I'm frustrated [Re: lessismore]
#18883660 - 09/24/13 06:49 AM (10 years, 4 months ago) |
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Quote:
mio said: Nope rarely, I have trouble focusing on anything
be it guitar playing, programming, repairing pcs, reading, writing (especially trouble reading)
I never focus for more than 2-5mins at a time, then I start doing something else lol
so if I read I would read for 2mins, then turn on music, play guitar at the same time and go out and repair all my bicycles I have forgotten to repair and clean my house too at the same time I had forgotten/wash clothes at the same time 
I usually do many tasks at once, but rarely finish any on time
Don't think I've ever handed any assignment in on time, or been on time for any work, always late , seems it happens no matter what I do
Got 5 bicycles, 4 scooters, a toilet, 4 pcs/laptops that I have to repair that have broken currently, always delay it because I'm lazy apparently, always everything in last second
Heh you sound like a worse version of me before I discovered Addy lol
-------------------- Back, bitches. st1lln0x: so i'm on weed, temazepam, adderall, dexedrine, dxm, dph, alcohol, nicotine, caffeine, tryptophan, GABA, and kratom Cavemen_savemen: st1lln0x, do you feel like a robot yet? st1lln0x: I feel like a fucking Gundam Click to friend me on Steam for Counter-Strike
IS LIFE SKULLFUCKING YOU!? HAVE SOME FREE MORALE! Click if you want to feel you alone can do it! Click if you want to feel confident and beastly! Click if you want courage to let go and move on! And click the message if you need someone to talk to -- I'll understand, even if we "hate" each other on here
  
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Cyclohexylamine
Turn on, Tune in, Drop out


Registered: 09/08/10
Posts: 14,327
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Re: Fuck I'm frustrated; all evidence still points to there being a dire shortage of non-tard psychdocs (moved) [Re: st1llnox]
#18883661 - 09/24/13 06:49 AM (10 years, 4 months ago) |
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This thread was moved from The Pub.
Reason: Moved at user request.
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zee007
Gone.



Registered: 11/15/12
Posts: 3,851
Loc:
Last seen: 4 years, 1 month
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Quote:
mellowparty said:
Quote:
zee007 said:
Quote:
mellowparty said:
Quote:
i'll stabilize my own damn mood with some dank ass nugs
Also you're a fool if you believe that weed has viable mood stabilizing properties.
Your weed is bunk
Seriously though... Weed does a lot of things, as well as "stabalizing mood" if you know how to dose yourself correctly.
I dose my weed by the drop or with a syringe.
Srsly tho just because you "chill" when you're stoned doesn't mean it won't have repercussions when it wears off. Following your logic opiates would be great mood stabilizers.
That's not what I mean... Medical properties also vary depending on consumption and type of plant. Also what logic are you following? I don't think I ever defined mood stabilization as "chill."
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st1llnox
dx'd PTSD/ADHD--please don't ask



Registered: 11/27/12
Posts: 7,312
Loc: 913 KANSAS CITY 816
Last seen: 5 years, 1 month
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Re: Fuck I'm frustrated [Re: st1llnox]
#18883664 - 09/24/13 06:50 AM (10 years, 4 months ago) |
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Quote:
EDIT: It's painfully obvious why you don't post these threads in the proper forum, btw.
Ah yeah, must be the fact that I pretty much never go to any of the other forums. No more troll food this morning for you though, sorry.
-------------------- Back, bitches. st1lln0x: so i'm on weed, temazepam, adderall, dexedrine, dxm, dph, alcohol, nicotine, caffeine, tryptophan, GABA, and kratom Cavemen_savemen: st1lln0x, do you feel like a robot yet? st1lln0x: I feel like a fucking Gundam Click to friend me on Steam for Counter-Strike
IS LIFE SKULLFUCKING YOU!? HAVE SOME FREE MORALE! Click if you want to feel you alone can do it! Click if you want to feel confident and beastly! Click if you want courage to let go and move on! And click the message if you need someone to talk to -- I'll understand, even if we "hate" each other on here
  
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st1llnox
dx'd PTSD/ADHD--please don't ask



Registered: 11/27/12
Posts: 7,312
Loc: 913 KANSAS CITY 816
Last seen: 5 years, 1 month
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Re: Fuck I'm frustrated [Re: zee007]
#18883669 - 09/24/13 06:53 AM (10 years, 4 months ago) |
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Quote:
zee007 said: Your weed is bunk
Seriously though... Weed does a lot of things, as well as "stabalizing mood" if you know how to dose yourself correctly.
I dose my weed by the drop or with a syringe.
Srsly tho just because you "chill" when you're stoned doesn't mean it won't have repercussions when it wears off. Following your logic opiates would be great mood stabilizers.
That's not what I mean... Medical properties also vary depending on consumption and type of plant. Also what logic are you following? I don't think I ever defined mood stabilization as "chill."
This really confused me until I realized you must still be getting Ockam's Razorburn from the two I just ignored.
Am I missing anything that's actually worth replying to? I wasn't going to start unignoring till xmas... lol
-------------------- Back, bitches. st1lln0x: so i'm on weed, temazepam, adderall, dexedrine, dxm, dph, alcohol, nicotine, caffeine, tryptophan, GABA, and kratom Cavemen_savemen: st1lln0x, do you feel like a robot yet? st1lln0x: I feel like a fucking Gundam Click to friend me on Steam for Counter-Strike
IS LIFE SKULLFUCKING YOU!? HAVE SOME FREE MORALE! Click if you want to feel you alone can do it! Click if you want to feel confident and beastly! Click if you want courage to let go and move on! And click the message if you need someone to talk to -- I'll understand, even if we "hate" each other on here
  
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zee007
Gone.



Registered: 11/15/12
Posts: 3,851
Loc:
Last seen: 4 years, 1 month
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Re: Fuck I'm frustrated [Re: st1llnox]
#18883684 - 09/24/13 06:56 AM (10 years, 4 months ago) |
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Justa maryjangle debate
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lessismore
Registered: 02/10/13
Posts: 6,268
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Re: Fuck I'm frustrated [Re: st1llnox]
#18883687 - 09/24/13 06:58 AM (10 years, 4 months ago) |
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st1llnox
dx'd PTSD/ADHD--please don't ask



Registered: 11/27/12
Posts: 7,312
Loc: 913 KANSAS CITY 816
Last seen: 5 years, 1 month
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Quote:
mellowparty said:
Quote:
badchad said: Isn't this like the third or 4th psychiatrist you've visited now?
It seems like there may be a commonality here.
He is just probing different docs to see which are most likely to fuel his outta control drug habit. Its pathetic.
Okay, this is why you're going back on ignore. I haven't used a recreational drug in weeks. You're a judgemental and sad person. Buh bye
-------------------- Back, bitches. st1lln0x: so i'm on weed, temazepam, adderall, dexedrine, dxm, dph, alcohol, nicotine, caffeine, tryptophan, GABA, and kratom Cavemen_savemen: st1lln0x, do you feel like a robot yet? st1lln0x: I feel like a fucking Gundam Click to friend me on Steam for Counter-Strike
IS LIFE SKULLFUCKING YOU!? HAVE SOME FREE MORALE! Click if you want to feel you alone can do it! Click if you want to feel confident and beastly! Click if you want courage to let go and move on! And click the message if you need someone to talk to -- I'll understand, even if we "hate" each other on here
  
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mellowparty
legitimate researcher


Registered: 05/17/09
Posts: 18,467
Last seen: 10 years, 2 months
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Re: Fuck I'm frustrated [Re: zee007]
#18883693 - 09/24/13 07:00 AM (10 years, 4 months ago) |
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Quote:
zee007 said: Also what logic are you following? I don't think I ever defined mood stabilization as "chill."
The logic that it can be a mood stabilizer if you dose correctly which is true for morphine for example.
Weed is addictive which shouldn't be the case with a proper mood stabilizer. Say I'm stable then I start smoking hella lots of weed and suddenly stop. I won't be stable anymore (even tho I was stable during the smoking period).
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st1llnox
dx'd PTSD/ADHD--please don't ask



Registered: 11/27/12
Posts: 7,312
Loc: 913 KANSAS CITY 816
Last seen: 5 years, 1 month
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Quote:
mellowparty said:
Quote:
zee007 said: Also what logic are you following? I don't think I ever defined mood stabilization as "chill."
The logic that it can be a mood stabilizer if you dose correctly which is true for morphine for example.
Weed is addictive which shouldn't be the case with a proper mood stabilizer. Say I'm stable then I start smoking hella lots of weed and suddenly stop. I won't be stable anymore (even tho I was stable during the smoking period).
Same thing goes with Depakote, carbamazepine, etc. You won't be stable anymore. (holding on that ignore in case you say something worth reading, although it's cool you can discern out of control drug habits with no basis you thought about being a psychiatrist?)
-------------------- Back, bitches. st1lln0x: so i'm on weed, temazepam, adderall, dexedrine, dxm, dph, alcohol, nicotine, caffeine, tryptophan, GABA, and kratom Cavemen_savemen: st1lln0x, do you feel like a robot yet? st1lln0x: I feel like a fucking Gundam Click to friend me on Steam for Counter-Strike
IS LIFE SKULLFUCKING YOU!? HAVE SOME FREE MORALE! Click if you want to feel you alone can do it! Click if you want to feel confident and beastly! Click if you want courage to let go and move on! And click the message if you need someone to talk to -- I'll understand, even if we "hate" each other on here
  
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Everlong
King of the Neckbeards


Registered: 03/24/08
Posts: 9,087
Loc: Poconos
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Re: Fuck I'm frustrated [Re: st1llnox]
#18883697 - 09/24/13 07:03 AM (10 years, 4 months ago) |
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I think I might of possibly helped clean up the pub from st1llnox psychiatrist threads. Everyone, you are welcome.
Quote:
st1llnox said:
Quote:
EDIT: It's painfully obvious why you don't post these threads in the proper forum, btw.
Ah yeah, must be the fact that I pretty much never go to any of the other forums. No more troll food this morning for you though, sorry.
No, I was suggesting it's the fact that you know the pub gets a lot more views, thus more attention. You seek attention, it's pretty clear.
And before any mod jumps on my post, it is only an observation and I feel like OP needs to realize it for his own "Physical and Mental Well-being."
--------------------
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st1llnox
dx'd PTSD/ADHD--please don't ask



Registered: 11/27/12
Posts: 7,312
Loc: 913 KANSAS CITY 816
Last seen: 5 years, 1 month
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Re: Fuck I'm frustrated [Re: Everlong]
#18883701 - 09/24/13 07:05 AM (10 years, 4 months ago) |
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Quote:
You seek attention, it's pretty clear.
Appearance tyrannizes truth.
I really pretty much only am on the pub and that's all. You can be a bitter person if you want but that doesn't help anybody.
-------------------- Back, bitches. st1lln0x: so i'm on weed, temazepam, adderall, dexedrine, dxm, dph, alcohol, nicotine, caffeine, tryptophan, GABA, and kratom Cavemen_savemen: st1lln0x, do you feel like a robot yet? st1lln0x: I feel like a fucking Gundam Click to friend me on Steam for Counter-Strike
IS LIFE SKULLFUCKING YOU!? HAVE SOME FREE MORALE! Click if you want to feel you alone can do it! Click if you want to feel confident and beastly! Click if you want courage to let go and move on! And click the message if you need someone to talk to -- I'll understand, even if we "hate" each other on here
  
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mellowparty
legitimate researcher


Registered: 05/17/09
Posts: 18,467
Last seen: 10 years, 2 months
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Re: Fuck I'm frustrated [Re: st1llnox]
#18883702 - 09/24/13 07:05 AM (10 years, 4 months ago) |
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They're not addictive tho, are they?
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Everlong
King of the Neckbeards


Registered: 03/24/08
Posts: 9,087
Loc: Poconos
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Re: Fuck I'm frustrated [Re: st1llnox]
#18883715 - 09/24/13 07:11 AM (10 years, 4 months ago) |
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Quote:
st1llnox said:
Quote:
You seek attention, it's pretty clear.
Appearance tyrannizes truth.
I really pretty much only am on the pub and that's all. You can be a bitter person if you want but that doesn't help anybody.
What exactly am I bitter about?
--------------------
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st1llnox
dx'd PTSD/ADHD--please don't ask



Registered: 11/27/12
Posts: 7,312
Loc: 913 KANSAS CITY 816
Last seen: 5 years, 1 month
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Quote:
mellowparty said: They're not addictive tho, are they?
Not in the sense that they have recreational appeal, or much at all.
Some of us can handle some drugs though, and if we stay away from the ones we can't then we're alright.
Rebound "instability" can be at least as bad though, but luckily most people wean off these sorts of things slowly.
-------------------- Back, bitches. st1lln0x: so i'm on weed, temazepam, adderall, dexedrine, dxm, dph, alcohol, nicotine, caffeine, tryptophan, GABA, and kratom Cavemen_savemen: st1lln0x, do you feel like a robot yet? st1lln0x: I feel like a fucking Gundam Click to friend me on Steam for Counter-Strike
IS LIFE SKULLFUCKING YOU!? HAVE SOME FREE MORALE! Click if you want to feel you alone can do it! Click if you want to feel confident and beastly! Click if you want courage to let go and move on! And click the message if you need someone to talk to -- I'll understand, even if we "hate" each other on here
  
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zee007
Gone.



Registered: 11/15/12
Posts: 3,851
Loc:
Last seen: 4 years, 1 month
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Quote:
mellowparty said:
Quote:
zee007 said: Also what logic are you following? I don't think I ever defined mood stabilization as "chill."
The logic that it can be a mood stabilizer if you dose correctly which is true for morphine for example.
Weed is addictive which shouldn't be the case with a proper mood stabilizer. Say I'm stable then I start smoking hella lots of weed and suddenly stop. I won't be stable anymore (even tho I was stable during the smoking period).
Hmm.. I see your point, but a mood stabilizer shouldnt be taken in the first place if one is "stable." Having an unstable mood sounds too broad to actually have a particular prescription for, depending on the 'mood' weed can help. I mean, wouldnt taking any drug that stabilizes your mood while stable be a bad idea?
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st1llnox
dx'd PTSD/ADHD--please don't ask



Registered: 11/27/12
Posts: 7,312
Loc: 913 KANSAS CITY 816
Last seen: 5 years, 1 month
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Re: Fuck I'm frustrated [Re: zee007]
#18883790 - 09/24/13 07:42 AM (10 years, 4 months ago) |
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Quote:
zee007 said:
Quote:
mellowparty said:
Quote:
zee007 said: Also what logic are you following? I don't think I ever defined mood stabilization as "chill."
The logic that it can be a mood stabilizer if you dose correctly which is true for morphine for example.
Weed is addictive which shouldn't be the case with a proper mood stabilizer. Say I'm stable then I start smoking hella lots of weed and suddenly stop. I won't be stable anymore (even tho I was stable during the smoking period).
Hmm.. I see your point, but a mood stabilizer shouldnt be taken in the first place if one is "stable." Having an unstable mood sounds too broad to actually have a particular prescription for, depending on the 'mood' weed can help. I mean, wouldnt taking any drug that stabilizes your mood while stable be a bad idea?
It would be a bad idea, but not all prescribers think so. Then again, their job is to dole out pills. 
You don't need a reason to smoke weed. Its awesomeness is enough. Soon as I get a fucking car again, I'm back in stoner mode.
-------------------- Back, bitches. st1lln0x: so i'm on weed, temazepam, adderall, dexedrine, dxm, dph, alcohol, nicotine, caffeine, tryptophan, GABA, and kratom Cavemen_savemen: st1lln0x, do you feel like a robot yet? st1lln0x: I feel like a fucking Gundam Click to friend me on Steam for Counter-Strike
IS LIFE SKULLFUCKING YOU!? HAVE SOME FREE MORALE! Click if you want to feel you alone can do it! Click if you want to feel confident and beastly! Click if you want courage to let go and move on! And click the message if you need someone to talk to -- I'll understand, even if we "hate" each other on here
  
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dark3st
Stranger

Registered: 08/02/13
Posts: 3,332
Last seen: 8 years, 3 months
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Re: Fuck I'm frustrated [Re: st1llnox]
#18886331 - 09/24/13 07:20 PM (10 years, 4 months ago) |
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The rating you left me was bullshit. I wasn't trolling I was telling the truth. You can't have your little ego hurt so you give me a bad rating but here's NY proof.
http://m.livescience.com/11208-high-suicide-risk-prejudice-plague-transgender-people.html
-------------------- Back.. I'm going to do it...I'm getting sober from opiates ... I got weed, gabapentin, propranolol, and GHB, I have 100mg tramadol left. I can do this. I can do this. OFINTQWGVGAKGCYKBUBX free dark P. Tampanensis prints to ODD members.
no stamps atm FREE SEEDS for ODD WCA members ONLY I have these seeds: Orange, red, and yellow sweet peppers, Purple poppies, White Habanero, Yellow Thai, Bolivian rainbow peppers, milk thistle, red chilly pepper, HBWR.
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st1llnox
dx'd PTSD/ADHD--please don't ask



Registered: 11/27/12
Posts: 7,312
Loc: 913 KANSAS CITY 816
Last seen: 5 years, 1 month
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Re: Fuck I'm frustrated [Re: dark3st]
#18886439 - 09/24/13 07:51 PM (10 years, 4 months ago) |
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Quote:
dark3st said: The rating you left me was bullshit. I wasn't trolling I was telling the truth. You can't have your little ego hurt so you give me a bad rating but here's NY proof.
http://m.livescience.com/11208-high-suicide-risk-prejudice-plague-transgender-people.html
I'm not transgender . I'm an appallingly masculine gay man. If you were genuinely mistaken, I'll actually be happy to fix your rating, believe it or not . That said, it goes without saying how that looked like you were implying I was a tranny. I can take shit, believe me (citation: go to my profile and click "main posts only" lol) but the jab at me AND the marginalization of a tremendously disadvantaged minority was downright infuriating to me. Some people aren't male-female, straight, masculine-feminine respectively. I'm oen of them (gay man) and I take care of my own. Last guy that called me a fag without being facetious got grabbed by the neck and thrown down a (short) flight of stairs.
He never called me a fag again and we became fast friends. It's good being a male, although the transexuals I've met are very nice people, especially given their stature in mainstream society.
Even though I'm gay and not tranny, your contention does actually apply to me (you got 0shroomed, taken down to 1/5 from 2/5 weighted btw, because you picked on the most defenseless minority there is). Even just being gay and not tranny, we are more prone to drug addiction than any other population last I checked (circa '09). 60% of us smoke cigarettes compared to ~25% compared to the general population.
The high suicide rate applies to gays too. I was featured in a local newspaper for an event that was even covered by The Advocate (the Shroomery of GLBT) when in 2009, we put a flag in our campus's quad for every gay suicide in the united states in the last calendar year.
We put nearly 2,000 flags down. When we finished, I looked out at the swaying sea of red flags and cried my fucking eyes out because I'd been there and frankly only survived because my suicide note got so long it turned into a crude philosophical text.
If you'd like to know what it's like to not only be the odd man out in your group of pretty much all straight guys, but also a misfit in your own community (I do not fit in with "gays" in the colloquial sense), I wrote in length about it in S&R.
http://www.shroomery.org/forums/showflat.php/Number/18586882#18586882
That said, do you have a good reason for me not to think you're just covering your ass with that 'concern for trannies'? What indicated to you I might be transexual? I have a signature addressing how my dick pics are going to blot out the sun in a meme secondary to one of the most blithely testosterone-drenched movies of the last decade.
I'm a chump who is prone to apologizing to people who don't deserve it and I don't know any better and can't help it, so burden of proof is on you. I'll take you back up to at least 2/5 for now though.
-------------------- Back, bitches. st1lln0x: so i'm on weed, temazepam, adderall, dexedrine, dxm, dph, alcohol, nicotine, caffeine, tryptophan, GABA, and kratom Cavemen_savemen: st1lln0x, do you feel like a robot yet? st1lln0x: I feel like a fucking Gundam Click to friend me on Steam for Counter-Strike
IS LIFE SKULLFUCKING YOU!? HAVE SOME FREE MORALE! Click if you want to feel you alone can do it! Click if you want to feel confident and beastly! Click if you want courage to let go and move on! And click the message if you need someone to talk to -- I'll understand, even if we "hate" each other on here
  
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dark3st
Stranger

Registered: 08/02/13
Posts: 3,332
Last seen: 8 years, 3 months
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Re: Fuck I'm frustrated [Re: st1llnox]
#18886460 - 09/24/13 07:57 PM (10 years, 4 months ago) |
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Ya I honestly thought you were transgender and swore I read that in anouther thread so my bad, but I was honestly trying to get you to see that it is possible your not fully seeing your problem (one that's not their now you'd explained)
-------------------- Back.. I'm going to do it...I'm getting sober from opiates ... I got weed, gabapentin, propranolol, and GHB, I have 100mg tramadol left. I can do this. I can do this. OFINTQWGVGAKGCYKBUBX free dark P. Tampanensis prints to ODD members.
no stamps atm FREE SEEDS for ODD WCA members ONLY I have these seeds: Orange, red, and yellow sweet peppers, Purple poppies, White Habanero, Yellow Thai, Bolivian rainbow peppers, milk thistle, red chilly pepper, HBWR.
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dark3st
Stranger

Registered: 08/02/13
Posts: 3,332
Last seen: 8 years, 3 months
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Re: Fuck I'm frustrated [Re: dark3st]
#18886476 - 09/24/13 07:59 PM (10 years, 4 months ago) |
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I'm fine with bad ratings as long as they are legit like almost none are because they think I'm trolling when I'm saying what I want to say without social norms getting in the way
-------------------- Back.. I'm going to do it...I'm getting sober from opiates ... I got weed, gabapentin, propranolol, and GHB, I have 100mg tramadol left. I can do this. I can do this. OFINTQWGVGAKGCYKBUBX free dark P. Tampanensis prints to ODD members.
no stamps atm FREE SEEDS for ODD WCA members ONLY I have these seeds: Orange, red, and yellow sweet peppers, Purple poppies, White Habanero, Yellow Thai, Bolivian rainbow peppers, milk thistle, red chilly pepper, HBWR.
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st1llnox
dx'd PTSD/ADHD--please don't ask



Registered: 11/27/12
Posts: 7,312
Loc: 913 KANSAS CITY 816
Last seen: 5 years, 1 month
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Re: Fuck I'm frustrated [Re: st1llnox]
#18886490 - 09/24/13 08:01 PM (10 years, 4 months ago) |
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Actually, I'm not going to until you show me that you understand how comparing transvestite to "normal" is perpetuating their extremely marginalized status in society. Or at least acknowledge it.
Just so you know, I study computer science and philosophy with an emphasis in both classical philosophy and formal logic/predicate calculus kinda stuff (I don't usually say the latter because I'm perceived as being an egotist too much already) and I'm currently engaged, while I'm not at university, in both trying to empirically prove a trivial theorem that, if I play dirty, could make me the person with the highest known finite Erdos number if I can publish even in an undergrad journal and I'm also testing some of Stephen Wolfram's theories with a bit of chaos theory thrown in with a cellular automata engine I wrote myself in C++ and SDL2 that I'll be analyzing computationally as soon as I implement Kasomethingov's metric for complexity as per a former professors recommendation (I haven't even looked into that metric and its associated algorithm yet, so no credit for this).
Why am I telling you this? Because god damn is it hard for me to rate someone 0/5 who's got a novel cipher he's worked on for over a year including an outstanding prize for whoever can crack it.
You better hope someone claims the prize before I get a Nvidia chip with CUDA cores 
If I've got such an inherent affinity to you (which I do), why then do I rate you so low? Because I've seen people finally resort to attempted suicide for less than what you threw at me (if you were trolling) and for less than you implied about transgendered individuals (this is the most PC term ATM I know of). Luckily none died. Including myself.
-------------------- Back, bitches. st1lln0x: so i'm on weed, temazepam, adderall, dexedrine, dxm, dph, alcohol, nicotine, caffeine, tryptophan, GABA, and kratom Cavemen_savemen: st1lln0x, do you feel like a robot yet? st1lln0x: I feel like a fucking Gundam Click to friend me on Steam for Counter-Strike
IS LIFE SKULLFUCKING YOU!? HAVE SOME FREE MORALE! Click if you want to feel you alone can do it! Click if you want to feel confident and beastly! Click if you want courage to let go and move on! And click the message if you need someone to talk to -- I'll understand, even if we "hate" each other on here
  
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dark3st
Stranger

Registered: 08/02/13
Posts: 3,332
Last seen: 8 years, 3 months
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Re: Fuck I'm frustrated [Re: st1llnox]
#18886552 - 09/24/13 08:17 PM (10 years, 4 months ago) |
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I wish I knew programing so my cipher could be used and made on my computer without writing it down.
I really hope someone can solve it. I wish I could give a $200 prize but I'm poor as a motherfucker haha.
Also as I said I was misinformed. I didn't have all the information and I made the mistake of opening my mouth before knowledge on the subject has been made clear.
-------------------- Back.. I'm going to do it...I'm getting sober from opiates ... I got weed, gabapentin, propranolol, and GHB, I have 100mg tramadol left. I can do this. I can do this. OFINTQWGVGAKGCYKBUBX free dark P. Tampanensis prints to ODD members.
no stamps atm FREE SEEDS for ODD WCA members ONLY I have these seeds: Orange, red, and yellow sweet peppers, Purple poppies, White Habanero, Yellow Thai, Bolivian rainbow peppers, milk thistle, red chilly pepper, HBWR.
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st1llnox
dx'd PTSD/ADHD--please don't ask



Registered: 11/27/12
Posts: 7,312
Loc: 913 KANSAS CITY 816
Last seen: 5 years, 1 month
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Re: Fuck I'm frustrated [Re: dark3st]
#18886764 - 09/24/13 09:06 PM (10 years, 4 months ago) |
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Quote:
dark3st said: I wish I knew programing so my cipher could be used and made on my computer without writing it down.
I really hope someone can solve it. I wish I could give a $200 prize but I'm poor as a motherfucker haha.
Also as I said I was misinformed. I didn't have all the information and I made the mistake of opening my mouth before knowledge on the subject has been made clear.
How about you apologize to the Transvestite community and suddenly get your own programming tutor, with experience in healthcare IT (you haven't seen cryptography till you've dealt with HIPPA) and who's since both taught fundamental computer science courses and published in computational genomics (find us a more interesting code than DNA and I'll eat my nicotine patches ).
Anything computational regarding cryptography both threatens the security and enables absolutely stupid amounts of complexity to be introduced into the cipher.
If you'd worked on the cipher for a year in a computational context, offering the shroomery a prize for solving it would be like imposing a "no knives" rule for dealing with the Gordian Knot .
-------------------- Back, bitches. st1lln0x: so i'm on weed, temazepam, adderall, dexedrine, dxm, dph, alcohol, nicotine, caffeine, tryptophan, GABA, and kratom Cavemen_savemen: st1lln0x, do you feel like a robot yet? st1lln0x: I feel like a fucking Gundam Click to friend me on Steam for Counter-Strike
IS LIFE SKULLFUCKING YOU!? HAVE SOME FREE MORALE! Click if you want to feel you alone can do it! Click if you want to feel confident and beastly! Click if you want courage to let go and move on! And click the message if you need someone to talk to -- I'll understand, even if we "hate" each other on here
  
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st1llnox
dx'd PTSD/ADHD--please don't ask



Registered: 11/27/12
Posts: 7,312
Loc: 913 KANSAS CITY 816
Last seen: 5 years, 1 month
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Re: Fuck I'm frustrated [Re: dark3st]
#18886766 - 09/24/13 09:07 PM (10 years, 4 months ago) |
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Quote:
dark3st said: I wish I knew programing so my cipher could be used and made on my computer without writing it down.
I really hope someone can solve it. I wish I could give a $200 prize but I'm poor as a motherfucker haha.
Also as I said I was misinformed. I didn't have all the information and I made the mistake of opening my mouth before knowledge on the subject has been made clear.
Oh by the fucking way, why don't you answer to/address what I did like 3 posts about before I start liking you?
-------------------- Back, bitches. st1lln0x: so i'm on weed, temazepam, adderall, dexedrine, dxm, dph, alcohol, nicotine, caffeine, tryptophan, GABA, and kratom Cavemen_savemen: st1lln0x, do you feel like a robot yet? st1lln0x: I feel like a fucking Gundam Click to friend me on Steam for Counter-Strike
IS LIFE SKULLFUCKING YOU!? HAVE SOME FREE MORALE! Click if you want to feel you alone can do it! Click if you want to feel confident and beastly! Click if you want courage to let go and move on! And click the message if you need someone to talk to -- I'll understand, even if we "hate" each other on here
  
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memes
Blessed



Registered: 01/11/05
Posts: 27,785
Loc: In a Tree
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Re: Fuck I'm frustrated [Re: st1llnox]
#18887976 - 09/25/13 06:14 AM (10 years, 4 months ago) |
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edit: whoops.
Edited by memes (09/25/13 06:17 AM)
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st1llnox
dx'd PTSD/ADHD--please don't ask



Registered: 11/27/12
Posts: 7,312
Loc: 913 KANSAS CITY 816
Last seen: 5 years, 1 month
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Re: Fuck I'm frustrated [Re: memes]
#18888184 - 09/25/13 08:03 AM (10 years, 4 months ago) |
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Quote:
memes said: edit: whoops.
Hey please don't be so hard on me if you can help it in the future, BTW. I had you on ignore but frankly, you're a real contribution to the forums and don't want to miss out on that for the sake of self esteem
-------------------- Back, bitches. st1lln0x: so i'm on weed, temazepam, adderall, dexedrine, dxm, dph, alcohol, nicotine, caffeine, tryptophan, GABA, and kratom Cavemen_savemen: st1lln0x, do you feel like a robot yet? st1lln0x: I feel like a fucking Gundam Click to friend me on Steam for Counter-Strike
IS LIFE SKULLFUCKING YOU!? HAVE SOME FREE MORALE! Click if you want to feel you alone can do it! Click if you want to feel confident and beastly! Click if you want courage to let go and move on! And click the message if you need someone to talk to -- I'll understand, even if we "hate" each other on here
  
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limentroll
Tiger eyed plant guy


Registered: 11/10/08
Posts: 784
Last seen: 2 years, 17 days
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Re: Fuck I'm frustrated [Re: st1llnox]
#18901725 - 09/28/13 06:59 AM (10 years, 4 months ago) |
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Dude honestly you don't need more drugs or different drugs... You need less drugs.
Lets face it, they aren't helping you much if at all and are adding another large stress factor to your life.
-------------------- Honesty breeds peace and propagates sustainable relationships.
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st1llnox
dx'd PTSD/ADHD--please don't ask



Registered: 11/27/12
Posts: 7,312
Loc: 913 KANSAS CITY 816
Last seen: 5 years, 1 month
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Re: Fuck I'm frustrated [Re: limentroll]
#18908079 - 09/29/13 05:43 PM (10 years, 3 months ago) |
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I disagree; its using the right ones and in moderation.
How's every RC in the world going for ya?
-------------------- Back, bitches. st1lln0x: so i'm on weed, temazepam, adderall, dexedrine, dxm, dph, alcohol, nicotine, caffeine, tryptophan, GABA, and kratom Cavemen_savemen: st1lln0x, do you feel like a robot yet? st1lln0x: I feel like a fucking Gundam Click to friend me on Steam for Counter-Strike
IS LIFE SKULLFUCKING YOU!? HAVE SOME FREE MORALE! Click if you want to feel you alone can do it! Click if you want to feel confident and beastly! Click if you want courage to let go and move on! And click the message if you need someone to talk to -- I'll understand, even if we "hate" each other on here
  
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limentroll
Tiger eyed plant guy


Registered: 11/10/08
Posts: 784
Last seen: 2 years, 17 days
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Re: Fuck I'm frustrated [Re: st1llnox]
#18908376 - 09/29/13 06:46 PM (10 years, 3 months ago) |
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Going pretty well, I have great friends who love each other dearly, I go to a great school for what I am currently working on, and will most likely transfer once done.
For what drugs I have done and do I have to say I am impressed at my ability to consistently eat healthy meals. I am not surprised by how active I am haha- if I was any less active I would be a fatty!
The three worst drug use decisions and accidents for me in terms of health and mental capabilities would be: 1) Cannabis Addiction 2) Mixed Methylone/Mephedrone Addiction For a Short Period of Time 3) Accidental OD on 2C-I (200-300mg) ...Then Smoking Meth During The Trip
I take full responsibility for these fuck ups, and try to live my life in a manner that doesn't exacerbate underlying issues from these incidents.
-------------------- Honesty breeds peace and propagates sustainable relationships.
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st1llnox
dx'd PTSD/ADHD--please don't ask



Registered: 11/27/12
Posts: 7,312
Loc: 913 KANSAS CITY 816
Last seen: 5 years, 1 month
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Re: Fuck I'm frustrated [Re: limentroll]
#18908413 - 09/29/13 06:54 PM (10 years, 3 months ago) |
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It was a super low blow but I was referring specifically to the #2 on your list we all know about in Warminati->DTC.
Weed is super underrated for its ability to derail your life.
You said it great that if you're using hard drugs, people will make sure you're okay but if you're ruining your life with weed... it's just weed.
I'm in a similar situation but not as far along: relearning math, starting an awesome new job that's gonna be killer on the resume doing what I love in so many ways (I'm dumbstruck how I ended up set to study Philosophy with a Psychiatrist!!! LOL)
I've pruned my friends pool a litlte bit and am not going super far out of my way to make more till I am back at Uni but I reconnected with a LOT of my old high school friends that are still in my hometown or came back and it's going great 
Sorry for being a dick in my reply. You have good intentions and a month ago you would've had an unambiguously 100% valid point (or 7 weeks and 2 days if you wanna go by DXM ).
-------------------- Back, bitches. st1lln0x: so i'm on weed, temazepam, adderall, dexedrine, dxm, dph, alcohol, nicotine, caffeine, tryptophan, GABA, and kratom Cavemen_savemen: st1lln0x, do you feel like a robot yet? st1lln0x: I feel like a fucking Gundam Click to friend me on Steam for Counter-Strike
IS LIFE SKULLFUCKING YOU!? HAVE SOME FREE MORALE! Click if you want to feel you alone can do it! Click if you want to feel confident and beastly! Click if you want courage to let go and move on! And click the message if you need someone to talk to -- I'll understand, even if we "hate" each other on here
  
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