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InvisibleeMpire420
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Bad derealization
    #18878594 - 09/22/13 11:35 PM (10 years, 5 months ago)

So I recently stopped smoking, after smoking every day for over a year. And it's been rough. I've been cutting down over the last week, but last night was my first night without MJ.

My decision to stop came because recently I've been getting in a depressed fog. When I smoke, I'm unproductive; when I'm unproductive, I feel worthless; when I feel worthless, I get depressed; when I get depressed, I smoke weed. So you can see how it's become a vicious circle for me.

Last night was rough, I was up till 6 am because I couldn't sleep. And today I've felt very "off". It's almost like derealization. Nothing around me feels real. This whole world feels so temporary, fake and alien to me. It's like I don't belong here. My mind has also been in a fog all day. I almost feel like my body is shutting down, like I'm dying. Which I know isn't the case, but it's how I honestly feel right now.

I haven't eaten hardly anything all day, just haven't been hungry. Which is making the weak feeling worse, my jaw is trembling from lack of food I'm guessing. But I just have no desire to eat, and when I try to eat, I just feel disgusted almost.

I'm just wondering how long this fog is going to continue. I feel like it's going to be a downward spiral, but I certainly hope not.

I'm hoping tomorrow is easier..


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OfflineEnslyn
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Re: Bad derealization [Re: eMpire420]
    #18878630 - 09/22/13 11:48 PM (10 years, 5 months ago)

I smoked every day for a while, and felt "foggy" in the mornings when I would get up. Also got some derealization every once in a while so I cut back. It goes away with time, as does everything. Drink green tea in the mornings (instead of coffee, if you drink that) to perk you up. Then drink tea with chamomile at night to help you sleep. You could also just have one or two small hits at night to help you sleep for the first bit, unless you want to quit cold turkey.


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InvisibleeMpire420
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Re: Bad derealization [Re: Enslyn]
    #18878645 - 09/22/13 11:53 PM (10 years, 5 months ago)

Quote:

Enslyn said:
I smoked every day for a while, and felt "foggy" in the mornings when I would get up. Also got some derealization every once in a while so I cut back. It goes away with time, as does everything. Drink green tea in the mornings (instead of coffee, if you drink that) to perk you up. Then drink tea with chamomile at night to help you sleep. You could also just have one or two small hits at night to help you sleep for the first bit, unless you want to quit cold turkey.




The problem is, I have no self control. As someone who's witnessed his dad destroy his life/family over alcohol, I've always told myself "I'm not addicted to anything.. I can't be". And the fucked up part is, I believed it. I believed that I could do whatever drug I wanted, and not be addicted, just because of my childhood. But I'm just now coming to the realization that I depend on mind altering substances. For over a year now, I've either been tripping, smoking weed or drinking... every night. I'm forced to quit cold turkey now, because I moved to a new state with no connections, and I finally ran out of weed two nights ago.

I just feel so hopeless. I know that everything goes away with time, but if you've had depression in the past, you know how impossibly hopeless you can feel. No matter what the inevitable future holds. As far as I'm concerned, I'll be stuck in this fog the rest of my life.

It's just so disconcerting :frown:


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OfflineBrambolinie
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Re: Bad derealization [Re: eMpire420]
    #18878653 - 09/22/13 11:57 PM (10 years, 5 months ago)

Well, quitting weed sounds like it's the best option for you. I think those withdrawal symptoms won't last that long, just don't fall back. You shouldn't need weed to feel normal. Good luck !!:thumbup:


--------------------
"And so castles made of sand fall in the sea, eventually "


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