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Anonymous #1

Ex got back in touch...
    #18875526 - 09/22/13 11:19 AM (10 years, 4 months ago)

Oh dear...I have a feeling I might be about to get myself into a bit of a situation...

My ex just sent me a FB message which has instantly dragged up loads of old feelings.  I really loved him, probably my only ex I ever truly loved...We had a great relationship at times, but also a terrible one.  He broke my trust, and I hurt him right back.  We had to break it off in the end as neither of us could trust the other.  To start off with we said it would just be break for us both to get our heads sorted out.  I'm a lot younger than him and felt I needed to live my life a little.

Fast forward to today.  I'm in a very happy relationship of 3 years and am a completely different person.  Our relationship is very stable, we rarely argue, but have to admit the passion is not quite the same as it was with my ex.  We have a really really great life, do loads of fun stuff.  But I never really got over my ex and whenever I think about him my heart aches.  And it's aching now.  I know I'm being stupid, because I have a great life and want for nothing really.  But still, the message from my ex has sent my head spinning...


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Anonymous #2

Re: Ex got back in touch... [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #18875770 - 09/22/13 12:45 PM (10 years, 4 months ago)

You sound like the same situation as my ex.

Except she messaged me out of the blue and sent my head for a bit of a go.


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Offlinecheshirect666
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Registered: 12/17/07
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Re: Ex got back in touch... [Re: Anonymous #2]
    #18875790 - 09/22/13 12:49 PM (10 years, 4 months ago)

follow your heart trust your intuition


--------------------
Not all who wander are lost.


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InvisibleSheekle
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Re: Ex got back in touch... [Re: cheshirect666] * 1
    #18876123 - 09/22/13 02:20 PM (10 years, 4 months ago)

Quote:

cheshirect666 said:
follow your heart trust your intuition



this is good advice for life in general


--------------------
"Ur cat died because he hated u" - Koods
"I hope JSB kicks your ass one day." - Vandago
"you are the biggest 'internet guy' I have ever come across"- Jokeshopbeard
"The more I see you post the more I realize you're just this fuckin tie dye loser who trolls the Shroomery 24/7." - Herbologist
"Sheekle you cannot vile the dice of bullshit you have posted on this forum over the years, I like databases" - thelastoneleft
"or maybe i just come from a blood line of superior intelligence" - trees

R.I.P Kelsy, ?/?/?? - 6/11/16


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Offlinecheshirect666
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Registered: 12/17/07
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Re: Ex got back in touch... [Re: Sheekle]
    #18876214 - 09/22/13 02:36 PM (10 years, 4 months ago)

Quote:

Sheekle said:
Quote:

cheshirect666 said:
follow your heart trust your intuition



this is good advice for life in general




:werd:


--------------------
Not all who wander are lost.


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InvisibleLynnch
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Re: Ex got back in touch... [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #18876393 - 09/22/13 03:22 PM (10 years, 4 months ago)

Quote:

Anonymous said:
...
Fast forward to today.  I'm in a very happy relationship of 3 years and am a completely different person.  Our relationship is very stable, we rarely argue, but have to admit the passion is not quite the same as it was with my ex.  We have a really really great life, do loads of fun stuff.  But I never really got over my ex and whenever I think about him my heart aches.  And it's aching now.  I know I'm being stupid, because I have a great life and want for nothing really.  But still, the message from my ex has sent my head spinning...




Careful. Memories have a way of getting brighter over time. Are you really interested in him? Or in the idealized relationship you remember?


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Onlinekoods
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Re: Ex got back in touch... [Re: Lynnch]
    #18879015 - 09/23/13 01:53 AM (10 years, 4 months ago)

Normally I would say go with your heart/gut but, I think you have to be more intellectual with this.

After a while, I think people tend to remember those volatile relationships for their passion and forget the misery (As long as it didn't end in a huge clusterfuck) You don't say how long that relationship was, but if it was a year or two, then you never got to experience the part of the relationship where that initial passion sorta fades, like it has in your current one. You aren't comparing two equivalent situations.


--------------------
NotSheekle said
“if I believed she was 16 I would become unattracted to her”


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Offlinemadis503
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Re: Ex got back in touch... [Re: koods]
    #18879597 - 09/23/13 08:30 AM (10 years, 4 months ago)

im in the same situation


--------------------

Psy&Goa


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Anonymous #1

Re: Ex got back in touch... [Re: koods]
    #18880172 - 09/23/13 11:21 AM (10 years, 4 months ago)

Quote:

Lynnch said:

Careful. Memories have a way of getting brighter over time. Are you really interested in him? Or in the idealized relationship you remember?




Quote:

koods said:
Normally I would say go with your heart/gut but, I think you have to be more intellectual with this.

After a while, I think people tend to remember those volatile relationships for their passion and forget the misery (As long as it didn't end in a huge clusterfuck) You don't say how long that relationship was, but if it was a year or two, then you never got to experience the part of the relationship where that initial passion sorta fades, like it has in your current one. You aren't comparing two equivalent situations.




I think you both make really good points here.  I was thinking last night that compared to my relationship at the moment, it wasn't really that great.  I mean the sex was absolutely amazing but we just used to sit around getting stoned all night every night.  We rarely did anything really exciting, except for family stuff once in a while.  The arguments and trust issues are really what kept me going back for more. 

In my relationship now things might not be as passionate all the time, but we have an awesome life.  We go out loads, to gigs and festivals, and generally have a lot of fun.  And best of all we never argue!  Sure we bicker once in a while, like an old married couple, but we never fall out.  It's awesome! 

My ex is a lovely guy deep down, but not the be all and end all I thought he was at the time.

What on earth was I thinking!


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Offlineitchmynipple
;)

Registered: 05/28/12
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Last seen: 10 years, 1 month
Re: Ex got back in touch... [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #18885011 - 09/24/13 01:37 PM (10 years, 4 months ago)

Quote:

Anonymous said:
Oh dear...I have a feeling I might be about to get myself into a bit of a situation...

My ex just sent me a FB message which has instantly dragged up loads of old feelings.  I really loved him, probably my only ex I ever truly loved...We had a great relationship at times, but also a terrible one.  He broke my trust, and I hurt him right back.  We had to break it off in the end as neither of us could trust the other.  To start off with we said it would just be break for us both to get our heads sorted out.  I'm a lot younger than him and felt I needed to live my life a little.

Fast forward to today.  I'm in a very happy relationship of 3 years and am a completely different person.  Our relationship is very stable, we rarely argue, but have to admit the passion is not quite the same as it was with my ex.  We have a really really great life, do loads of fun stuff.  But I never really got over my ex and whenever I think about him my heart aches.  And it's aching now.  I know I'm being stupid, because I have a great life and want for nothing really.  But still, the message from my ex has sent my head spinning...





you said your heart aches, that mean anxiety.

are you confusing emotion with anxiety?
sometimes are body have natural reinforcements for people who have once hurt us, or caused large stress to our ego. they become like permanent 'warning signs' but these emotions leave people vulnerable and confuse them - they think because the emotion in general is there even if it is a bad emotion that it has something to do with love.
in my experience, you won't know till you try, just try to remain focused with your own life. n what your doing.


--------------------


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