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InvisibleDr.Dankhead
Uhh...doctor gonzo?
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Registered: 03/29/13
Posts: 5,187
Loc: Breathing down your neck Flag
How do you trust women....(I'm sorry this is lengthy)
    #18866892 - 09/20/13 09:42 AM (10 years, 5 months ago)

..when EVERY single girl I've dated has cheated on me.. Like 12 different girls have deceived me, or cheated on me.. But I found what i want to be my future wifey.. Been together ten months, i tell her i comp,etely trust her but the truth is ..she has my cmplete heart in her hands..if she were to crush it, throw it to the ground and stomp on it, by cheating on me.. I honestly think I'd find a beautiful final resting place in the woods, over looking the lake.

Long story short, i have no one but her, no family, few friends none of whom i hangout with outside of work.

It's hard to admit but I'm ..lonely. I can make friends and talk to just about anyone, but nobody wants to hangout even when i peruse asking..shit the last year or so I've givin hundreds of thousands of dollars worth of drugs away, just to have company at my house.. How pathetic huh?

My grandmother calls me a worthless disappointment, even though i work, go to school and she doesn't even know about drug use.. Back when i had brothers they'd always pick on me, and when i went to tell my parents I'd get in trouble. Everyone has always disliked me for as long as i can remeber.

I'm average looking, not super sexy but not ugly either. I get hit on by babes so i know im not ugly.

I live my life to make others happy, if i can do something nice for someone.. I always would.

I'd seriously give all my clothes and money to a complete stranger if they showed actual interest in me..

I'm caring, kind, not ugly.. So why do women cheat on me?.. I'm terrified that she'll get bored of me in the future and go fuck some other dude.. She's the only onein my entire life that TRUELY cares about me ...do you guys have any clue what that means?.. I smile all day thinking of her beautiful smile, and i would NEVER cheat on her.. If she suggested a 3 some with two girls i wouldn't even do it.. I'm as faithful and true as one can be, i guess all i can do is hope the same for her.

I don't ask for pity, and i know i can't prevent the uninvitable. But have any of you had as much trouble finding a girl that ACTUALLY loves you?

And to those that are married, what do you do or say if you suspect she's cheating?

I should delete this post because i feel like a whiner lol, but i love this girl, with everything i have..

Can you please share some cheating scenarios of how you caught your ex's cheating? OR

Can you share relationship stories that will make me feel better?

Just please tell me a story, I'm not feeling mentally stable today.. I feel like i Should go die in a hole somewhere.


I need to get my grow underway so i can go on a spirit journey.. I always seem to come out of a trip knowing whats best to do, having a clear mind.. But that's months away from now.


--------------------

:mushroom2:**need a check up?**:aliendance: **im a Doctor**:mushroom2:
:bow2::bow2::bow2::bow2::bow2::bow2::bow2::bow2::bow2::bow2:
i sometimes wish I was a wormy, wiggling all in the cold dirt...tickle tackle pickle dickle think a mackshift thought of broken words broken gears and words of conundrums..I'm not a weiner doctor so take that shit to dr. Gonz free boob inplant consultations.. Photo required


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Offlinel3estever
sir

Registered: 09/27/10
Posts: 230
Last seen: 6 years, 2 months
Re: How do you trust women....(I'm sorry this is lengthy) [Re: Dr.Dankhead]
    #18866947 - 09/20/13 09:58 AM (10 years, 5 months ago)

I felt that way all the time.

I had a great relationship with my girlfriend, who lives with me, almost no problems with trust, until she started working at starbucks in the airport.  She would talk to all these different people everyday and all I ever heard was stories from her.  Half the time she wouldn't remember a story, because she claimed them not important.  She didn't want to introduce me to the them because she felt like they weren't important enough to her for me to meet. 

I started not to like where this was headed and at the same time she started longer hours, meaning less time together.  This lack of male attention made her want some while she was at work.  She picked up a couple of flirt buddies and it started to tear me up from the inside, this is what killed my last relationship.  None of them lasted particularly long and I let her know how my personal lines for her not to cross are physical flirting and text flirting.  I never saw another text from a guy or a new number entered into her phone.

I let my frustration and confusion out often and I think that she was just as honest with me, I've never caught her in a lie.  Its been a month since she quit her job and hasn't talked to one coworker since.  Letting out all that frustration was the only way I could get a release.  It might have made me look insecure with myself to her but I think she deserved complete honesty if that is what I was asking for too.

Pretty much I would suggest to not let the emotions you cannot control get the best of you.  Let your girlfriend know that these emotions are there and why you believe them to be there and that the problem is yours but you would appreciate some help.  If she is the one for you she will help minimize your negative thoughts and respect whatever boundaries you set together.  We are all emotional creatures in our heads, but if you want to connect with another you're gonna have to share thoughts as well.


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Offlinedirty
super sketch
Male


Registered: 08/18/13
Posts: 120
Loc: stateside
Last seen: 9 years, 10 months
Re: How do you trust women....(I'm sorry this is lengthy) [Re: l3estever]
    #18866978 - 09/20/13 10:06 AM (10 years, 5 months ago)

This may sound harsh. But I find most women are attracted to confidence. And sounds a bit like you may be in a slump and lacking in that department. Don't wait on them hand and foot or give them everything they want cuz they will walk all over you. And you can do all of this without being a total asshole. Its the same way a guy with no job money or car can score really hot chicks and they will stay with him, or the guy you swear is the ugliest bastard you ever seen has some super awesome chick hanging on him. Its confidence. Again don't be an arrogant asshole 24/7, but have a little confidence and you will be fine.


--------------------
"In a completely sane world, madness is the only freedom" -J.G. Ballard

"Why isn't there a strain yet called Rubix Cubensis?" -Fraggin


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Offlinel3estever
sir

Registered: 09/27/10
Posts: 230
Last seen: 6 years, 2 months
Re: How do you trust women....(I'm sorry this is lengthy) [Re: l3estever]
    #18866988 - 09/20/13 10:09 AM (10 years, 5 months ago)

I also would like to point out that it seems like you are a great guy if you really try and act so selfless in your life.  Girls might be cheating on you because they don't have a real justifiable reason to break up with you, so they have to end it a little messier.  You should be glad that those girls jumped ship though.  You seem pretty straight forward but might be giving off the impression that you will jump at the next thing that loves you more.  Most girls or guys I've met aren't even capable of reciprocating the kind of unconditional love you require from a girlfriend.


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InvisibleClockCode
A Lonely Hypha


Registered: 11/12/12
Posts: 546
Loc: The Highest Desert
Re: How do you trust women....(I'm sorry this is lengthy) [Re: dirty] * 1
    #18866991 - 09/20/13 10:11 AM (10 years, 5 months ago)

You must learn to be happy alone before you can bring happiness to another.

When you allow your happiness to be dependent upon another person, you create attachment that can cloud love.  Try to embrace your loneliness and use it as an opportunity to soul search.  Once you can be happy DESPITE being cheated on, DESPITE being a disappointment, and DESPITE all these things, you'll feel wonderful.  Independence, not dependence.  Fuck 'em all.

And if those girls cheated on you then they weren't worth what you have to offer regardless.


--------------------
Psilovibing


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InvisibleDr.Dankhead
Uhh...doctor gonzo?
Male User Gallery


Registered: 03/29/13
Posts: 5,187
Loc: Breathing down your neck Flag
Re: How do you trust women....(I'm sorry this is lengthy) [Re: l3estever]
    #18867000 - 09/20/13 10:15 AM (10 years, 5 months ago)

Quote:

l3estever said:
I felt that way all the time.

I had a great relationship with my girlfriend, who lives with me, almost no problems with trust, until she started working at starbucks in the airport.  She would talk to all these different people everyday and all I ever heard was stories from her.  Half the time she wouldn't remember a story, because she claimed them not important.  She didn't want to introduce me to the them because she felt like they weren't important enough to her for me to meet. 

I started not to like where this was headed and at the same time she started longer hours, meaning less time together.  This lack of male attention made her want some while she was at work.  She picked up a couple of flirt buddies and it started to tear me up from the inside, this is what killed my last relationship.  None of them lasted particularly long and I let her know how my personal lines for her not to cross are physical flirting and text flirting.  I never saw another text from a guy or a new number entered into her phone.

I let my frustration and confusion out often and I think that she was just as honest with me, I've never caught her in a lie.  Its been a month since she quit her job and hasn't talked to one coworker since.  Letting out all that frustration was the only way I could get a release.  It might have made me look insecure with myself to her but I think she deserved complete honesty if that is what I was asking for too.

Pretty much I would suggest to not let the emotions you cannot control get the best of you.  Let your girlfriend know that these emotions are there and why you believe them to be there and that the problem is yours but you would appreciate some help.  If she is the one for you she will help minimize your negative thoughts and respect whatever boundaries you set together.  We are all emotional creatures in our heads, but if you want to connect with another you're gonna have to share thoughts as well.



Thank you for taking the time to share your story with me.. I'm sorry to hear your frustrations with her. Women are really co fusing creature, but i agree with you.. I think if i ever come across problems or if its like the situation your in, i feel that if she does love me as much as i do her, she should quit whatever job it is, to get out of a situation that may be relationship threatening.. I'd do the same for her.

I really hope things work out for you.. No one deserves that frustration.. And I've been there several times.. I know there talking to guys, even while laying next to me, but if i say anything the defensiveness comes out..

I'm so glad that's not the case yet with my current gf. If she stands the test of time and faithfulness i really want to marry her.

Nice again thank you, best of luck friend:)


--------------------

:mushroom2:**need a check up?**:aliendance: **im a Doctor**:mushroom2:
:bow2::bow2::bow2::bow2::bow2::bow2::bow2::bow2::bow2::bow2:
i sometimes wish I was a wormy, wiggling all in the cold dirt...tickle tackle pickle dickle think a mackshift thought of broken words broken gears and words of conundrums..I'm not a weiner doctor so take that shit to dr. Gonz free boob inplant consultations.. Photo required


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InvisibleCyclohexylamine
Turn on, Tune in, Drop out
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Registered: 09/08/10
Posts: 14,327
Re: How do you trust women....(I'm sorry this is lengthy) [Re: ClockCode]
    #18867004 - 09/20/13 10:18 AM (10 years, 5 months ago)

Quote:

ClockCode said:
You must learn to be happy alone before you can bring happiness to another.

When you allow your happiness to be dependent upon another person, you create attachment that can cloud love.  Try to embrace your loneliness and use it as an opportunity to soul search.  Once you can be happy DESPITE being cheated on, DESPITE being a disappointment, and DESPITE all these things, you'll feel wonderful.  Independence, not dependence.  Fuck 'em all.

And if those girls cheated on you then they weren't worth what you have to offer regardless.




This.
Quote:

i tell her i comp,etely trust her but the truth is ..she has my cmplete heart in her hands..if she were to crush it, throw it to the ground and stomp on it, by cheating on me.. I honestly think I'd find a beautiful final resting place in the woods, over looking the lake.



This is the problem right here...


--------------------
Yes this is tymo - I just changed my name

Have you ever had a dream that you were so sure was real? What if you were unable to awake from that dream? How would you know the difference between that dream world and the real world?


There is NOTHING better than feeling that warm dissociative fuzz creeping up your body from IM K
Something abut that anaesthetic rush... :inlove:

Qualitative Research Chemical Effects and Experiences
The Wonderful World of Methoxetamine
The 3-Meo-PCP Chapters, Part One


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InvisibleDr.Dankhead
Uhh...doctor gonzo?
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Registered: 03/29/13
Posts: 5,187
Loc: Breathing down your neck Flag
Re: How do you trust women....(I'm sorry this is lengthy) [Re: ClockCode]
    #18867011 - 09/20/13 10:19 AM (10 years, 5 months ago)

Quote:

ClockCode said:
You must learn to be happy alone before you can bring happiness to another.

When you allow your happiness to be dependent upon another person, you create attachment that can cloud love.  Try to embrace your loneliness and use it as an opportunity to soul search.  Once you can be happy DESPITE being cheated on, DESPITE being a disappointment, and DESPITE all these things, you'll feel wonderful.  Independence, not dependence.  Fuck 'em all.

And if those girls cheated on you then they weren't worth what you have to offer regardless.




I was alone by my self for four years before my current girl. I had givin up on relationships.

I embraced lonlyness at its core, and grew fond of it.. But me and her.. We fell in love and nothing can break it apart.

Like the other guy said you have to be confident, and i am around her, but by myself, i can't help but feel worthless.
Thank you for your comment:)


--------------------

:mushroom2:**need a check up?**:aliendance: **im a Doctor**:mushroom2:
:bow2::bow2::bow2::bow2::bow2::bow2::bow2::bow2::bow2::bow2:
i sometimes wish I was a wormy, wiggling all in the cold dirt...tickle tackle pickle dickle think a mackshift thought of broken words broken gears and words of conundrums..I'm not a weiner doctor so take that shit to dr. Gonz free boob inplant consultations.. Photo required


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InvisibleDr.Dankhead
Uhh...doctor gonzo?
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Registered: 03/29/13
Posts: 5,187
Loc: Breathing down your neck Flag
Re: How do you trust women....(I'm sorry this is lengthy) [Re: dirty]
    #18867026 - 09/20/13 10:23 AM (10 years, 5 months ago)

Quote:

dirty said:
This may sound harsh. But I find most women are attracted to confidence. And sounds a bit like you may be in a slump and lacking in that department. Don't wait on them hand and foot or give them everything they want cuz they will walk all over you. And you can do all of this without being a total asshole. Its the same way a guy with no job money or car can score really hot chicks and they will stay with him, or the guy you swear is the ugliest bastard you ever seen has some super awesome chick hanging on him. Its confidence. Again don't be an arrogant asshole 24/7, but have a little confidence and you will be fine.




That's funny you say this, because that's how I got her to like me.. When i was alone i wasn't worried about anything and i had no fears, so i was confident all the time, and that's what made her interested in me. And I know trying the hard to get tactic does work, but that's not. Who I really am. I just figure if she doesn't love me for who i am, them i guess she doesn't deserve me.

I've lost something along the way in this relationship, and although i. Happy as can be with her, something just is askew.


--------------------

:mushroom2:**need a check up?**:aliendance: **im a Doctor**:mushroom2:
:bow2::bow2::bow2::bow2::bow2::bow2::bow2::bow2::bow2::bow2:
i sometimes wish I was a wormy, wiggling all in the cold dirt...tickle tackle pickle dickle think a mackshift thought of broken words broken gears and words of conundrums..I'm not a weiner doctor so take that shit to dr. Gonz free boob inplant consultations.. Photo required


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Offlinedirty
super sketch
Male


Registered: 08/18/13
Posts: 120
Loc: stateside
Last seen: 9 years, 10 months
Re: How do you trust women....(I'm sorry this is lengthy) [Re: Dr.Dankhead]
    #18867173 - 09/20/13 11:09 AM (10 years, 5 months ago)

Reality is, sometimes no matter what you do, people just grow apart. Doesn't always mean something is wrong with you. And if you were one way in the beginning, and diff now, chances are your recent relations with her put you in a funk. Happens to the best of us. But I agree with the guy who said she may not know how to break up with you. Everyone does it at least once, they want to end it but are afraid to hurt their significant other. But in the end they hurt the person so much worse by dragging it out. Love is a fickle bitch sir.


--------------------
"In a completely sane world, madness is the only freedom" -J.G. Ballard

"Why isn't there a strain yet called Rubix Cubensis?" -Fraggin


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OfflineMr. Material
Mental Magician

Registered: 06/10/10
Posts: 607
Last seen: 2 years, 4 months
Re: How do you trust women....(I'm sorry this is lengthy) [Re: l3estever]
    #18867222 - 09/20/13 11:22 AM (10 years, 5 months ago)

Quote:

l3estever said:Most girls or guys I've met aren't even capable of reciprocating the kind of unconditional love you require from a girlfriend.




http://www.enslavement.org.uk/

That requires training - just saying. :crazy:


--------------------
I base my morality on physical nature; and my personal philosophy is based in power.


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OfflineGorlax
Male


Registered: 05/06/08
Posts: 6,697
Last seen: 5 days, 2 hours
Re: How do you trust women....(I'm sorry this is lengthy) [Re: Mr. Material]
    #18867242 - 09/20/13 11:25 AM (10 years, 5 months ago)

Are you boring?


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OfflineMr. Material
Mental Magician

Registered: 06/10/10
Posts: 607
Last seen: 2 years, 4 months
Re: How do you trust women....(I'm sorry this is lengthy) [Re: Dr.Dankhead]
    #18867248 - 09/20/13 11:26 AM (10 years, 5 months ago)

Quote:

Dr.Dankhead said:
and i would NEVER cheat on her.. If she suggested a 3 some with two girls i wouldn't even do it..




Technically that's not cheating dude.


--------------------
I base my morality on physical nature; and my personal philosophy is based in power.


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OfflineGorlax
Male


Registered: 05/06/08
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Last seen: 5 days, 2 hours
Re: How do you trust women....(I'm sorry this is lengthy) [Re: Gorlax]
    #18867265 - 09/20/13 11:30 AM (10 years, 5 months ago)

Yeah wtf I would do that no problem as long as the girls were chill and hot


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InvisibleDr.Dankhead
Uhh...doctor gonzo?
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Registered: 03/29/13
Posts: 5,187
Loc: Breathing down your neck Flag
Re: How do you trust women....(I'm sorry this is lengthy) [Re: Mr. Material]
    #18867276 - 09/20/13 11:32 AM (10 years, 5 months ago)

I know it isn't, but i wouldn't do that,because if we had a three some with me and another dude, i wouldn't be able to kiss her after that... Who could watch the one they love,getting fucked by some guy?

Not me, and i don't do things to people that i wouldn't want done to me, and a three some is one of those things.


You would fuck another girl because you don't care how your loved one would feel about it.. I do care. And I respect her.


--------------------

:mushroom2:**need a check up?**:aliendance: **im a Doctor**:mushroom2:
:bow2::bow2::bow2::bow2::bow2::bow2::bow2::bow2::bow2::bow2:
i sometimes wish I was a wormy, wiggling all in the cold dirt...tickle tackle pickle dickle think a mackshift thought of broken words broken gears and words of conundrums..I'm not a weiner doctor so take that shit to dr. Gonz free boob inplant consultations.. Photo required


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OfflineGorlax
Male


Registered: 05/06/08
Posts: 6,697
Last seen: 5 days, 2 hours
Re: How do you trust women....(I'm sorry this is lengthy) [Re: Dr.Dankhead]
    #18867389 - 09/20/13 12:06 PM (10 years, 5 months ago)

^ Yeah with another dude is weird if it's all at once. Now if shes bouncing from room to room.. just hit it first.


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InvisibleCyclohexylamine
Turn on, Tune in, Drop out
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Registered: 09/08/10
Posts: 14,327
Re: How do you trust women....(I'm sorry this is lengthy) [Re: Dr.Dankhead]
    #18867445 - 09/20/13 12:24 PM (10 years, 5 months ago)

Quote:

Dr.Dankhead said:
I know it isn't, but i wouldn't do that,because if we had a three some with me and another dude, i wouldn't be able to kiss her after that... Who could watch the one they love,getting fucked by some guy?

Not me, and i don't do things to people that i wouldn't want done to me, and a three some is one of those things.


You would fuck another girl because you don't care how your loved one would feel about it.. I do care. And I respect her.




No - you are dependent... Sorry to be harsh but this is the reason your previous relationships failed. The poster who I quoted several posts up is right - you need to be happy on your own and secure on your own or your relationships will always fail / will suffer. Depending on another person to make you happy always ends up in misery.


--------------------
Yes this is tymo - I just changed my name

Have you ever had a dream that you were so sure was real? What if you were unable to awake from that dream? How would you know the difference between that dream world and the real world?


There is NOTHING better than feeling that warm dissociative fuzz creeping up your body from IM K
Something abut that anaesthetic rush... :inlove:

Qualitative Research Chemical Effects and Experiences
The Wonderful World of Methoxetamine
The 3-Meo-PCP Chapters, Part One


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InvisibleBallerium
Little Black Spot on the Sun
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Registered: 10/03/10
Posts: 11,025
Loc: GA
Re: How do you trust women....(I'm sorry this is lengthy) [Re: Cyclohexylamine]
    #18867467 - 09/20/13 12:29 PM (10 years, 5 months ago)

Words of wisdom right there. :thumbup:


--------------------
Beats and waves will take me to my grave and when I go there I know that I won't be alone 'cause I've been spotted, blotted, many many times before.



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InvisibleVivaLaMushie
RIP LS :(
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Registered: 07/23/12
Posts: 15,711
Loc: Switzerland Flag
Re: How do you trust women....(I'm sorry this is lengthy) [Re: Dr.Dankhead]
    #18867547 - 09/20/13 12:41 PM (10 years, 5 months ago)

Quote:

Dr.Dankhead said:
I know it isn't, but i wouldn't do that,because if we had a three some with me and another dude, i wouldn't be able to kiss her after that... Who could watch the one they love,getting fucked by some guy?

Not me, and i don't do things to people that i wouldn't want done to me, and a three some is one of those things.


You would fuck another girl because you don't care how your loved one would feel about it.. I do care. And I respect her.





The pic of Jim in your signature made me die laughing.


--------------------


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InvisibleDr.Dankhead
Uhh...doctor gonzo?
Male User Gallery


Registered: 03/29/13
Posts: 5,187
Loc: Breathing down your neck Flag
Re: How do you trust women....(I'm sorry this is lengthy) [Re: Cyclohexylamine]
    #18867549 - 09/20/13 12:41 PM (10 years, 5 months ago)

Quote:

tymoteusz3 said:
Quote:

Dr.Dankhead said:
I know it isn't, but i wouldn't do that,because if we had a three some with me and another dude, i wouldn't be able to kiss her after that... Who could watch the one they love,getting fucked by some guy?

Not me, and i don't do things to people that i wouldn't want done to me, and a three some is one of those things.


You would fuck another girl because you don't care how your loved one would feel about it.. I do care. And I respect her.




No - you are dependent... Sorry to be harsh but this is the reason your previous relationships failed. The poster who I quoted several posts up is right - you need to be happy on your own and secure on your own or your relationships will always fail / will suffer. Depending on another person to make you happy always ends up in misery.




That's funny i don't exactly remember meeting you outside the Internet.. Idk who you think you are to judge me lol..Well i guess FYI

I grew up from age 9 and up without both parents, ONLY depended on myself.. My bothers didn't take care of me. My grandmother didnt take care of me. I had a cat named snickers that i talked to.
When i was old enough to get a job i worked at a slaughter house running errands for people. Then eventually became a worker on the line, When i thought i had a good idea of where to go, and i biked three towns over to apply for my drivers permit.. Not to mention the other 30 mile there and back bike trips it took to get a birth certificate.. After that i had to burrow a friends car to take my drivers test just so i could transport to work and back and finally move into my own apartment at the age of 17.. Does that sound dependent to you?.. I think i just put too much trust in people, and they always end up letting me down.. I've been alone most my life, and its all i know,.. All i know is that human are good at nothing but causing others hurt.. so when a girl tells me she loves me, and i see a sparkle in her eye, its hard for me not to believe it real... But what I'm saying is how do I trust women when every girl I've had has put me through hell.. 

Idk If your correct on me being dependent, i just think when i love someone, i always end up being the one actually meaning it.. And I've never said "i love you" first in any relationship.

So.. Yeah there's some background on me:):awedrugs:


Words of wisdom right here. You people don't know me:)


--------------------

:mushroom2:**need a check up?**:aliendance: **im a Doctor**:mushroom2:
:bow2::bow2::bow2::bow2::bow2::bow2::bow2::bow2::bow2::bow2:
i sometimes wish I was a wormy, wiggling all in the cold dirt...tickle tackle pickle dickle think a mackshift thought of broken words broken gears and words of conundrums..I'm not a weiner doctor so take that shit to dr. Gonz free boob inplant consultations.. Photo required


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