|
Icelander
The Minstrel in the Gallery



Registered: 03/15/05
Posts: 95,368
Loc: underbelly
|
Sorry?
#18866433 - 09/20/13 07:33 AM (10 years, 5 months ago) |
|
|
What does it mean to say to someone you are sorry for something you did that effects them? Personally I find it disingenuous. No one ever seems to be sorry before the fact. No one seems to be sorry until the fact is discovered. To me saying you're sorry, at lest in the vast majority of cases means, I'm sorry I got caught and there are now some negative consequences I have to face and I'd like to see if I can get out of them by apologizing.
Discuss
-------------------- "Don't believe everything you think". -Anom. " All that lives was born to die"-Anom. With much wisdom comes much sorrow, The more knowledge, the more grief. Ecclesiastes circa 350 BC
|
BlueCoyote
Beyond


Registered: 05/07/04
Posts: 6,697
Loc: Between
Last seen: 3 years, 1 month
|
|
For me 'sorry' means to regret and if I say it, I will take care to not do it again
|
Icelander
The Minstrel in the Gallery



Registered: 03/15/05
Posts: 95,368
Loc: underbelly
|
|
People usually do do it again however. Sorry it seems is usually to get one off the hook in the moment.
I just think saying sorry is unnecessary. Acknowledging what you did is something else and worthwhile imo.
-------------------- "Don't believe everything you think". -Anom. " All that lives was born to die"-Anom. With much wisdom comes much sorrow, The more knowledge, the more grief. Ecclesiastes circa 350 BC
|
Cyclohexylamine
Turn on, Tune in, Drop out


Registered: 09/08/10
Posts: 14,327
|
|
Quote:
Icelander said: What does it mean to say to someone you are sorry for something you did that effects them? Personally I find it disingenuous. No one ever seems to be sorry before the fact. No one seems to be sorry until the fact is discovered. To me saying you're sorry, at lest in the vast majority of cases means, I'm sorry I got caught and there are now some negative consequences I have to face and I'd like to see if I can get out of them by apologizing.
Discuss
I think it really depends on the situation. Certainly I am sorry for many things I have done in the past, especially when I was younger / stupider. Many of these things didn't have any negative consequences at least for me or I didn't get "caught" - but more that I am sorry that I caused negative things to happen to others because I was stupider when younger.
When used in a more current tense, eg: sorry I ate the last X or sorry I cheated on you yesterday, I think it still depends on context. It can definitely be used as a "do it now - ask for forgiveness later" scapegoat. All comes down to the intention of the person using it and the context it is used in.
--------------------
You are not special
|
Cyclohexylamine
Turn on, Tune in, Drop out


Registered: 09/08/10
Posts: 14,327
|
|
Quote:
Icelander said: People usually do do it again however. Sorry it seems is usually to get one off the hook in the moment.
I just think saying sorry is unnecessary. Acknowledging what you did is something else and worthwhile imo.
Ah I think we are both saying the same thing. I didn't see your latest post when I wrote my last one. I am more talking about acknowledging what you did.
--------------------
You are not special
|
Icelander
The Minstrel in the Gallery



Registered: 03/15/05
Posts: 95,368
Loc: underbelly
|
|
Yes, I think if one was sorry then they wouldn't have done the deed in the first place most of the time. We are usually aware on some level that we have crossed the line but we put it out of mind to pursue our own selfish ends. There is nothing wrong with that until we pretend we are sorry for something we knew was going to or could cause a problem when we did it. Often things like that could be prevented with a little forethought. If there's a real possibility I'm going to be late I can tell the person that ahead of time so they are prepared. Instead most people just hope it won't be noticed that they did not honor a commitment or figure any excuse will be accepted as justification.
-------------------- "Don't believe everything you think". -Anom. " All that lives was born to die"-Anom. With much wisdom comes much sorrow, The more knowledge, the more grief. Ecclesiastes circa 350 BC
|
Cyclohexylamine
Turn on, Tune in, Drop out


Registered: 09/08/10
Posts: 14,327
|
|
Quote:
Icelander said: Yes, I think if one was sorry then they wouldn't have done the deed in the first place most of the time. We are usually aware on some level that we have crossed the line but we put it out of mind to pursue our own selfish ends. There is nothing wrong with that until we pretend we are sorry for something we knew was going to or could cause a problem when we did it. Often things like that could be prevented with a little forethought. If there's a real possibility I'm going to be late I can tell the person that ahead of time so they are prepared. Instead most people just hope it won't be noticed that they did not honor a commitment or figure any excuse will be accepted as justification.
--------------------
You are not special
|
cez

Registered: 08/04/09
Posts: 5,854
|
|
I think "sorry" is a sort of social cue to swallow pride and hone up to whatever you did. A lot of people have a hard time/don't even say sorry.
If we didn't have "sorry" as the social superlative for admitting mistakes, I don't think people would even hone up to their mistakes as often as we do.
I think people don't like to admit their wrong. Sorry is a nice general term to do so.
It's much harder attempting to convey our "sins" to one another in a linear fashion. Could probably be a more thorough apology than "sorry for X", but I don't see many people going in-depth with their apologies and going deep into their past mindset discussing specifics and reasoning for whatever sorrowful action they did.
I say sorry a lot. Often times, I do live in my own little world and forget that I affect other people's little worlds and I don't think my actions affect them as much as they do.
|
Gorlax



Registered: 05/06/08
Posts: 6,697
Last seen: 5 days, 17 hours
|
Re: Sorry? [Re: cez]
#18867227 - 09/20/13 11:23 AM (10 years, 5 months ago) |
|
|
In that case yeah it's not genuine but you can truly be sorry for something.. like if you accidentally slammed someones hand in the door..you'd feel their pain and be genuinely sorry..unless you were sadistic.
|
OrgoneConclusion
Blue Fish Group



Registered: 04/01/07
Posts: 45,432
Loc: Under the C
|
|
You know I did a thread on this many years ago. Are you sorry for ripping me off?
--------------------
|
Memories



Registered: 05/09/12
Posts: 10,484
Loc: Suwannee River
Last seen: 3 years, 10 months
|
|
Quote:
tymoteusz3 said:
Quote:
Icelander said: Yes, I think if one was sorry then they wouldn't have done the deed in the first place most of the time. We are usually aware on some level that we have crossed the line but we put it out of mind to pursue our own selfish ends. There is nothing wrong with that until we pretend we are sorry for something we knew was going to or could cause a problem when we did it. Often things like that could be prevented with a little forethought. If there's a real possibility I'm going to be late I can tell the person that ahead of time so they are prepared. Instead most people just hope it won't be noticed that they did not honor a commitment or figure any excuse will be accepted as justification.

Nice post Ice. I agree after that explanation.
|
Icelander
The Minstrel in the Gallery



Registered: 03/15/05
Posts: 95,368
Loc: underbelly
|
|
Quote:
OrgoneConclusion said: You know I did a thread on this many years ago. Are you sorry for ripping me off?
Yeah I'm really really sorry.
-------------------- "Don't believe everything you think". -Anom. " All that lives was born to die"-Anom. With much wisdom comes much sorrow, The more knowledge, the more grief. Ecclesiastes circa 350 BC
|
Jokeshopbeard
Humble Student


Registered: 11/30/11
Posts: 26,088
Loc: Deep in the system
|
|
What about those times when emotion gets the better of you, and, for instance, you snap at someone close to you before you've even realised you've done it?
I think sorry is a perfect (albeit as perfect as language can be) way of acknowledging your actions and expressing your remorse.
Of course it will be abused by a large majority, much as anything else, however I see no issues at all with its concept or its implementation, when used with honesty.
-------------------- Let it be seen that you are nothing. And in knowing that you are nothing... there is nothing to lose, there is nothing to gain. What can happen to you? Something can happen to the body, but it will either heal or it won't. What's the big deal? Let life knock you to bits. Let life take you apart. Let life destroy you. It will only destroy what you are not. --Jac O'keeffe
Edited by Jokeshopbeard (09/20/13 02:01 PM)
|
OrgoneConclusion
Blue Fish Group



Registered: 04/01/07
Posts: 45,432
Loc: Under the C
|
|
Ice was NOT sorry for stealing my ideas.
--------------------
|
andrewss
precariously aggrandized


Registered: 08/17/07
Posts: 8,725
Loc: ohio
Last seen: 2 months, 8 days
|
|
I'm sorry this idea has to be hashed over and over and over.
mmmmm, hash
-------------------- Jesus loves you.
|
Icelander
The Minstrel in the Gallery



Registered: 03/15/05
Posts: 95,368
Loc: underbelly
|
|
Quote:
Jokeshopbeard said: What about those times when emotion gets the better of you, and, for instance, you snap at someone close to you before you've even realised you've done it?
I think sorry is a perfect (albeit as perfect as language can be) way of acknowledging your actions and expressing your remorse.
Of course it will be abused by a large majority, much as anything else, however I see no issues at all with its concept or its implementation, when used with honesty.
Again you don't need to apologize but rather you can just acknowledge your behaviors.
-------------------- "Don't believe everything you think". -Anom. " All that lives was born to die"-Anom. With much wisdom comes much sorrow, The more knowledge, the more grief. Ecclesiastes circa 350 BC
|
EternalCowabunga
Being of Great Significance



Registered: 04/04/05
Posts: 7,152
Loc: Time and Space
|
|
My grade 7 teacher used to say that if you were really sorry you would have never done it in the first place.
Cheers to you, Mr. Gaitsman 
Still don't know what he meant
--------------------
|
teknix
πβπ
’ππ
π°π‘ πΌπ⨻



Registered: 09/16/08
Posts: 11,953
|
|
Quote:
Icelander said: What does it mean to say to someone you are sorry for something you did that effects them? Personally I find it disingenuous. No one ever seems to be sorry before the fact. No one seems to be sorry until the fact is discovered. To me saying you're sorry, at lest in the vast majority of cases means, I'm sorry I got caught and there are now some negative consequences I have to face and I'd like to see if I can get out of them by apologizing.
Discuss
Tell me your sorry and I may forgive you for your insolence.
|
OrgoneConclusion
Blue Fish Group



Registered: 04/01/07
Posts: 45,432
Loc: Under the C
|
Re: Sorry? [Re: teknix]
#18870407 - 09/21/13 12:43 AM (10 years, 5 months ago) |
|
|
I did not know he was diabetic.
--------------------
|
Icelander
The Minstrel in the Gallery



Registered: 03/15/05
Posts: 95,368
Loc: underbelly
|
Re: Sorry? [Re: teknix]
#18870932 - 09/21/13 06:15 AM (10 years, 5 months ago) |
|
|
Quote:
teknix said:
Quote:
Icelander said: What does it mean to say to someone you are sorry for something you did that effects them? Personally I find it disingenuous. No one ever seems to be sorry before the fact. No one seems to be sorry until the fact is discovered. To me saying you're sorry, at lest in the vast majority of cases means, I'm sorry I got caught and there are now some negative consequences I have to face and I'd like to see if I can get out of them by apologizing.
Discuss
Tell me your sorry and I may forgive you for your insolence.
"you're"
-------------------- "Don't believe everything you think". -Anom. " All that lives was born to die"-Anom. With much wisdom comes much sorrow, The more knowledge, the more grief. Ecclesiastes circa 350 BC
|
|