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ModestMouse
IM WALKIN ON SUNSHINE


Registered: 05/06/13
Posts: 19,227
Loc: Upstate
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Opting out of potentialy fun social experiences due to social anxiety(Updated)
#18860341 - 09/18/13 09:08 PM (10 years, 4 months ago) |
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In order to keep this short and readable im going to be direct.
Im in a fraternity. Not one of the most popular ones and not one of the largest ones. (We have 18 men, largest has 30 someodd). Fraternitys do things called mixers: a sorority and fraternity get together to do an exclusive party.
My frat has a mixer planned this weekend with the hottest (and snobbiest) sorority on campus. Not at all the kind of girls I typically talk to. Not to mention I have a girlfriend.
I have been fearing this event for a week because: A. The girls and guys all have to attend or we are fined by our organization. B. I dont want a bunch of snobby girls forced to hang out with guys that they wouldnt normally party with. C. I fear both awkward situations and talking to hot women. D. Im a pretty attractive (somewhat social) guy but my frat has a stigma of being "the nice, nerdy guys". Not to mention the fact that only 8-10 brothers will be there drinking and actually socializing.
Is me fearing this some sort of diagnosable social anxiety or is it entirely warranted?
-------------------- Anyone got a lowpass filter in this biiiiash?
Edited by ModestMouse (09/22/13 07:35 AM)
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Mush4Brains
LOOL HACKED!!!

Registered: 07/31/13
Posts: 4,419
Last seen: 9 years, 2 months
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Re: Opting out of potentialy fun social experiences due to social anxiety [Re: ModestMouse]
#18860356 - 09/18/13 09:10 PM (10 years, 4 months ago) |
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I can't give out dosage advice, but they make drugs for these kinds of situations. Drugs for you, not the girls' drink, that is.
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Gilgamesh18
Herbivore Man

Registered: 03/01/12
Posts: 11,671
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Re: Opting out of potentialy fun social experiences due to social anxiety [Re: Mush4Brains] 1
#18860359 - 09/18/13 09:11 PM (10 years, 4 months ago) |
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Why would you join a fraternity if you have social anxiety?
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fapjack
Title



Registered: 07/26/07
Posts: 16,574
Loc: Central New Jersey
Last seen: 3 years, 10 months
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Re: Opting out of potentialy fun social experiences due to social anxiety [Re: ModestMouse] 10
#18860363 - 09/18/13 09:11 PM (10 years, 4 months ago) |
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Quote:
ModestMouse said: In order to keep this short and readable im going to be direct.
Im in a fraternity. Not one of the most popular ones and not one of the largest ones. (We have 18 men, largest has 30 someodd). Fraternitys do things called mixers: a sorority and fraternity get together to do an exclusive party.
My frat has a mixer planned this weekend with the hottest (and snobbiest) sorority on campus. Not at all the kind of girls I typically talk to. Not to mention I have a girlfriend.
I have been fearing this event for a week because: A. The girls and guys all have to attend or we are fined by our organization. B. I dont want a bunch of snobby girls forced to hang out with guys that they wouldnt normally party with. C. I fear both awkward situations and talking to hot women. D. Im a pretty attractive (somewhat social) guy but my frat has a stigma of being "the nice, nerdy guys". Not to mention the fact that only 8-10 brothers will be there drinking and actually socializing.
Is me fearing this some sort of diagnosable social anxiety or is it entirely warranted?
Just quit, frat's are fucking lame.
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The Phleg
Big Dick Chakra



Registered: 03/07/10
Posts: 14,473
Loc: Uncanny Valley
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Re: Opting out of potentialy fun social experiences due to social anxiety [Re: ModestMouse] 6
#18860364 - 09/18/13 09:12 PM (10 years, 4 months ago) |
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Fratboy
-------------------- You wanna get high? Drink tap water. --------------------
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theonlysun81
Long Time Lurker, Recent Member


Registered: 05/11/12
Posts: 1,712
Last seen: 6 years, 10 months
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Re: Opting out of potentialy fun social experiences due to social anxiety [Re: Mush4Brains]
#18860365 - 09/18/13 09:12 PM (10 years, 4 months ago) |
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Idk leave a place that makes you pay money if you don't do what you're told....
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Micawber
...............................



Registered: 12/29/10
Posts: 2,644
Loc: southeast
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Re: Opting out of potentialy fun social experiences due to social anxiety [Re: ModestMouse] 1
#18860369 - 09/18/13 09:12 PM (10 years, 4 months ago) |
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just get wasted prior
-------------------- (mik-kaw'-bur) n. one who is poor but lives in optimistic expectation of better fortune
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ModestMouse
IM WALKIN ON SUNSHINE


Registered: 05/06/13
Posts: 19,227
Loc: Upstate
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Re: Opting out of potentialy fun social experiences due to social anxiety [Re: Gilgamesh18]
#18860372 - 09/18/13 09:13 PM (10 years, 4 months ago) |
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Because this is not something that normally effects me much but this situation just seems tough for me to handle.
I know, I want benzos. Too bad I am not diagnosed.
-------------------- Anyone got a lowpass filter in this biiiiash?
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Gilgamesh18
Herbivore Man

Registered: 03/01/12
Posts: 11,671
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Re: Opting out of potentialy fun social experiences due to social anxiety [Re: ModestMouse]
#18860378 - 09/18/13 09:14 PM (10 years, 4 months ago) |
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Quote:
ModestMouse said: Because this is not something that normally effects me much but this situation just seems tough for me to handle.
I know, I want benzos. Too bad I am not diagnosed.
Na man forget the benzos take some amps youll happily socialize away!
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something super extreme
NIGGA YOU A FUCK NIGGA!


Registered: 10/29/12
Posts: 17,397
Loc: TURNT UP!
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Re: Opting out of potentialy fun social experiences due to social anxiety [Re: ModestMouse] 6
#18860379 - 09/18/13 09:14 PM (10 years, 4 months ago) |
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I wouldn't say having a bit of completely understandable nervousness is diagnosable SAD. You're young, in new situations, around hot girls with a bunch of possible dorks. Certainly you'd be nervous. Try to think rationally about the situation rather than dreading potential bad outcomes will do more than you think to keep things going smooth.
What is a little concerning is you express fear of awkward situations and talking to attractive girls. In other words, a fear of embarrasment. Why? You'll have to ask yourself questions like that to reach any sort of conclusion or revelation, but of you can't get anywhere with it, then maybe you should go talk to a doctor. It's not healthy to live in fear of certain unavoidable situations.
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ModestMouse
IM WALKIN ON SUNSHINE


Registered: 05/06/13
Posts: 19,227
Loc: Upstate
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Re: Opting out of potentialy fun social experiences due to social anxiety [Re: Micawber]
#18860385 - 09/18/13 09:15 PM (10 years, 4 months ago) |
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Quote:
Micawber said: just get wasted prior 
Thats the plan.
You can knock fraternitys. But ive had awesome times so far. To each his own
-------------------- Anyone got a lowpass filter in this biiiiash?
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something super extreme
NIGGA YOU A FUCK NIGGA!


Registered: 10/29/12
Posts: 17,397
Loc: TURNT UP!
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Re: Opting out of potentialy fun social experiences due to social anxiety [Re: Micawber]
#18860386 - 09/18/13 09:15 PM (10 years, 4 months ago) |
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Quote:
Micawber said: just get wasted prior 
This works well, too. For awhile, anyway. You can't dread talking to women or embarassment your entire life. But yeah, get drunk and get everyone else drunk and you'll be having a grand ol' time.
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Can-i-bus
Melting


Registered: 01/22/13
Posts: 1,161
Loc: WA
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Re: Opting out of potentialy fun social experiences due to social anxiety [Re: Micawber]
#18860389 - 09/18/13 09:16 PM (10 years, 4 months ago) |
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Quote:
Micawber said: just get wasted prior 
This
I wasn't in a frat, but I went to a ton of frat parties in college. If I wasn't wasted it was really fucking weird for me. When I got wasted beforehand, I could kinda enjoy the frat atmosphere
Some people just enjoy different environments...nothing wrong with that. Just go and try to have some fun. If it sucks then you could always bail
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Bodhi of Ankou
*alternate opinion blocks path*


Registered: 06/02/09
Posts: 24,778
Loc: Soviet Canukistan
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Re: Opting out of potentialy fun social experiences due to social anxiety [Re: ModestMouse] 1
#18860404 - 09/18/13 09:18 PM (10 years, 4 months ago) |
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Why the fuck would you opt into something you knows gonna put you in situations you dont care for.
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SattvaBodhi
nobody

Registered: 08/09/13
Posts: 392
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Re: Opting out of potentialy fun social experiences due to social anxiety [Re: ModestMouse]
#18860416 - 09/18/13 09:20 PM (10 years, 4 months ago) |
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Quote:
ModestMouse said:
Is me fearing this some sort of diagnosable social anxiety or is it entirely warranted?
Both.
-------------------- My ETSY shop .. stop by and look ***Disclaimer*** Everything I say in my posts is false. I have never done any drugs nor will I ever. Drugs are bad mmkay.
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pcplease
Salame

Registered: 09/02/11
Posts: 6,089
Last seen: 9 years, 10 months
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Quote:
sVs said: I wouldn't say having a bit of completely understandable nervousness is diagnosable SAD. You're young, in new situations, around hot girls with a bunch of possible dorks. Certainly you'd be nervous. Try to think rationally about the situation rather than dreading potential bad outcomes will do more than you think to keep things going smooth.
What is a little concerning is you express fear of awkward situations and talking to attractive girls. In other words, a fear of embarrasment. Why? You'll have to ask yourself questions like that to reach any sort of conclusion or revelation, but of you can't get anywhere with it, then maybe you should go talk to a doctor. It's not healthy to live in fear of certain unavoidable situations.

And while its not healthy, its PERFECTLY normal. Especially since you're so young. IME the best way to treat this problem is by just doing it. I bet your 100x less nervous at the next party. Also bet that by next semester you'll feel silly for being nervous in the first place!
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ModestMouse
IM WALKIN ON SUNSHINE


Registered: 05/06/13
Posts: 19,227
Loc: Upstate
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I appreciate the advice. I think your first paragraph hit the nail on the head for me.
Im starting to think that my fear is normal and me worrying about my fear is an overreaction. @Bodhi Like I said, 90% of what we do is a ton of fun. I love these guys. Also sometimes its good to put yourself out of your comfort zone. Thats what I need to do, im just dreading doing it.
-------------------- Anyone got a lowpass filter in this biiiiash?
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Lizard Eyes
Lost Soul



Registered: 11/26/12
Posts: 1,876
Loc: Right Where I'm supposed ...
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Quote:
sVs said: I wouldn't say having a bit of completely understandable nervousness is diagnosable SAD. You're young, in new situations, around hot girls with a bunch of possible dorks. Certainly you'd be nervous. Try to think rationally about the situation rather than dreading potential bad outcomes will do more than you think to keep things going smooth.
What is a little concerning is you express fear of awkward situations and talking to attractive girls. In other words, a fear of embarrasment. Why? You'll have to ask yourself questions like that to reach any sort of conclusion or revelation, but of you can't get anywhere with it, then maybe you should go talk to a doctor. It's not healthy to live in fear of certain unavoidable situations.

A sVs post that isn't just something that equates to a "Fuck you"

@OP Get drunk, usually does the trick for me 
Although being part of a frat doesn't sound like all the fun its made out to be.
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 Every little thing is gonna be alright All you need is love Nobody's right, Nobody's wrong, Life's just a game it's just one epic holiday!
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volcomstoner
I'll have just one more xanax



Registered: 07/20/09
Posts: 11,231
Loc: Minnesnowta
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Re: Opting out of potentialy fun social experiences due to social anxiety [Re: ModestMouse]
#18860465 - 09/18/13 09:29 PM (10 years, 4 months ago) |
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Just put yourself out there, if things seem wierd and it's getting lame then make it fun. It's good to put yourself in these situations but it can go two ways, you can pussy out and make it a shitty night for yourself, or you can embrace the situation and learn important, useful lessons that will make your time spent in college much more enjoyable.
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HAIL SATAN Vas donc jouer dans le traffic
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volcomstoner
I'll have just one more xanax



Registered: 07/20/09
Posts: 11,231
Loc: Minnesnowta
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Re: Opting out of potentialy fun social experiences due to social anxiety [Re: Lizard Eyes]
#18860470 - 09/18/13 09:29 PM (10 years, 4 months ago) |
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Quote:
Lizard Eyes said:
Quote:
sVs said: I wouldn't say having a bit of completely understandable nervousness is diagnosable SAD. You're young, in new situations, around hot girls with a bunch of possible dorks. Certainly you'd be nervous. Try to think rationally about the situation rather than dreading potential bad outcomes will do more than you think to keep things going smooth.
What is a little concerning is you express fear of awkward situations and talking to attractive girls. In other words, a fear of embarrasment. Why? You'll have to ask yourself questions like that to reach any sort of conclusion or revelation, but of you can't get anywhere with it, then maybe you should go talk to a doctor. It's not healthy to live in fear of certain unavoidable situations.

A sVs post that isn't just something that equates to a "Fuck you"

@OP Get drunk, usually does the trick for me 
Although being part of a frat doesn't sound like all the fun its made out to be.
sVs is a good dude, just because he's opinionated and honest doesn't mean he's an asshole.
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HAIL SATAN Vas donc jouer dans le traffic
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