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InvisibleAsante
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Methoxetamine -- The Tree of Life * 3
    #18831479 - 09/12/13 07:59 AM (10 years, 5 months ago)

Greetings again fellow travellers, yesterday, September 11 2013, I woke up with an urge, and satisfied that urge by taking 30mg methoxetamine orally before breakfast. I closed my eyes, darkness consolidated, and I took 30 more milligrams an hour after. Behind my closed eyes I was bathing in white light, such as is often the case when I take MXE in the early morning. My inner dialogue told me: "The Golden Thread is that today will be a day devoted to Methoxetamine, to be used according to your wishes."
And so it was.

Let me explain the concept of the "Golden Thread" its something I encountered in earlier Methoxetamine sessions.

Humans are Godly, so creation is part of what we do and that shapes part of the direction of our lives, making the course of our lives less predictable to any viewpoint but the totality of Divinity itself. There is however a path that is most favorable, a line that connects your birth and death that is optimal, and this was explained to me, is the "golden thread". To follow that thread is the best one can do in the grand scheme of things. What seems a good or bad idea at the time is less important than whether a decision follows the Golden Thread, even though all decisions are the Right one in the end.
And according to this, yesterday was to be a day of Methoxetamine? Hmm, indeed!

I got on my stationary bike and pedalled my day's miles. I hardly felt myself cycling. My eyes kept slipping closed into the Whiteness where my breath pumped, my legs flailed rythicvally and I felt my blood course through an intricate web of veins to the beating of my heart. I usually average 23KPH but now it was 20KPH.  My eyes fluttered open, 4:20, they closed, opened again 6:00. It was unreal in a very awesome way.

After the upheaval had subsided a bit I decided it was time to take a bold move, to give my social phobia the finger and to go to the store while half out of my gourd. I knew from feedback from others that MXE's effect on me is quite invisible unless in high doses, and even if it would make me seem a bit retarded then by God, I was going to be that retard, I was going to be the slightly fuzzy drunk in the checkout line for a time.

I went to the store, indeed quite out of it, got my groceries for a day of tripping, all healthy stuff, and checked out and paid for my shit in a world not unlike this. then went home.

Mission accomplished  :pleasetellmemore:

I held off till 16:20 keeping chill, then I felt it was time to bring it on, and I brought it: 30mg orally.

I slipped into a beautiful MXE state where I relived meeting my lifelong friend V for the first time, in I believe 4th grade.  I was transported there, I felt in part to be there, reliving it, the sight, the sound, emotion. How I felt back then that we were to be friends for life and that we had been in a life before.

My friend V and I dropped out of touch 10 years ago. A few weeks ago, during a MXE session,Ibecame overcome with memories of him and the desire to meet him again. My inner dialogue told me  "now the time for both of you is ripe, you will meet soon." And indeed, days later we met each other for the first time in 10 years. Turns out around the time I had my session about him he too got a sudden urge to meet me again and it got to the point of him telling his mom, right before Destiny put us in the same street and time.

There was a dark shadow: It turns out he has a degenerative neurological disorder that will very probably have him check out of this decade early. Hes in constant hellish pain, on hardcore pain meds, the half gallon bottle of cheap gin is a daily companion and he tries to evade to think of what lies in store.

I hit another 30mg oral and the session changed tone.

MXE showed me how he and I had the worst conflict of my life when I was 10 and he was 11, and that I had truly wronged him. He has undoubtably long since forgiven me but to me it has been the one time in my life I have truly, deeply wronged someone. MXE urged me to make amends soon, to come clean to him and put my judgement in his hands before it grows into inter-incarnational karma. I said things.. let me put it like this, I felt all my life that if there was a Hell and I was going to be in it, it would be for that. MXE told me I'd have to lay it out and het him be my Judge.
And dammit, its gonna take courage but I will do just that, for his sake more than mine. I can tell it still affects him. :sad:

There'll be a total "No Comment" to you guys about what it is guys, sorry. Let me just say it was the one time in my life I let my Dark Side have free reign and rip into someone right to the soul. Oh yeah.. Kids can be evil too

I made dinner and ate it, then let it all digest and hit the MXE after an hour, when the food was digested enough for the MXEto swim past it.  What does one eat on a MXE day? Half a pound of spinach quenched with knackebrotcrumbs and half a pound of cod, fried in coconut oil with the MCT/omega3 gravy poured in the spinach.

The dose was uneventful so, another.

Thats when it happened, the moment most magical: the focus of reality inverted itself and I entered the Hole.  First the swirls of blackness blacker than black, the ominous foreboding, the pulsing fountains of phosphenes.. then the drakness ripped open into many many visuals.

My Higher Self and I reconnected there, amidst the sea of visuals. Q&A ensued, me asking questions and my Higher Self answering them, as was insisted on many times before, "not with the absolute truth but with what you need to be told and experience at this point"  And as it was told, so I experienced it.

It told me about life and death, how dying and going to sleep is similar, in that you will always open your eyes again after some point, in bed or in the womb. You cant close your eyes for all eternity. We've been in that Void after all, before our birth, and woke up to this life.  That is our precedent.

We're in a cycle of reincarnation, one that goes from the lowest form of consciousness, a form so basic it isnt even a lifeform by normal standards, to the highest form of conchiousness, something that is quite literally a universe to a great many beings it wholely encompasses and which by them on any reasonable level would be regarded their God, not just their creator but their Being and their world in every way. And then the snake will bite its tail, this highest form shall devolve itself to the very lowest and start all over again, for all eternity.

Evolution is key. The organisms evolve but the consciousness within them evolves to. Our spirit, our essence, we ARE that consciousness. We are not our body or experiencing the consciousness, no our spirit is we ARE that consciousness.

I saw part of the Tree Of life.  In the human part, I saw all individuals there ever were.  They were interconbnected by their umbilical cords to their parents sprouting from the vaginas of their mothers that were interconnected with thin threads of sperm, like a spiders thread, to the penises of their fathers, to their siblings and before them their grandparents. All people in this tree were represented as about 25-35 years old, the age where they arent growing-to-become or aging-from-having-been. There were two kinds of people in the Tree of Life, you had Stems, the men and women who had carried on the gift of life and reproduced, and Flowers, the ones who for whichever reason had not reproduced. 

I looked in the dazzling depths but my gaze hurled my field of vision down: distance had no bearing on how clear I saw. Modern humans became oldtime humans became apemen, downward, downward, more and more species splicinbg into the ancestral root, downwards to a mat of bubbly mycelia like strings of micro-organisms caught in time, connected with the cell division that gave rise to them andf the one that they gave rise to, a bubbly tube of connected intracellular fluid with lumps of genetic material in every bump.  Fewer anbd fewer lines, out of the cellular and into the chemical, strands of molecules united by reproduction like mating worms, lower, lower, one line remaining... It faded.

I let my voice whisper the voice of my Higher Self, and whispered questions and got whispered answers.  So many topics, so many answers..

I got a vision of myself sitting in a room, doing my whispering, but being regarded as a Medium in trance, which in a way I was. People wrote notecards with questions which I'd glance at and ask, and others recording the answers that came.  It was a scene of a 1800s spiritist seance.

My Higher Self asked whether I thought it to be a good idea that I'd get at mp3 device to record these whispers and "broadcast them to youtube". As he put it: "If you're not afraid of the criticisms, because people would call you awful things, I'm not afraid to step into the limelight. I would not vanish or burst like a soap bubble, only difference it would make is that now I speak what you need to hear and then when we're on the record I'd speak to a wider audience. In this way it would work. Just you, me and an mp3 recorder, see, it doesnt like it when there are people present who are not in the exalted state of the Hole. It does not work like that. But what you do with the words afterwards is up to you."

Many questions, many answers. Questions as important as how to turn my life around to as mundane as to how to get the most out of masturbation :naughty: About life change it told me this: "It all starts with motivation, the right motivations lead to the right acts without conflict. Right now the balance of Yes and No is disrupted. Theres a disproportinal amount of NO's piling up, its time to get deeper into the YES side of things. This is how you quit smoking too and this is the nature of all needed change. The pull you feel is being removed from the Golden Thread."

It went on and on and then my Higher self said, 30 minutes after a booster dose: "Oh you like eye candy right?" I affirmed. "Then take 30mg more now, for a proper 21-gun salute"
So I did.

Nothing can describe the beauty and richness of the visuals that followed. It was without a doubt the most beautiful CEV sequence I ever saw, the synesthesias were unbelievable, many senses were connected to one as whole brain areas lit up.

I went to bed, epicness rose to stellar proportions and somewhere amidst that spectacle, I fell asleep.


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OfflineFire is Born
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Re: Methoxetamine -- The Tree of Life [Re: Asante] * 2
    #18831514 - 09/12/13 08:08 AM (10 years, 5 months ago)

You're a cool guy but tl; dr


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InvisibleAsante
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Re: Methoxetamine -- The Tree of Life [Re: Fire is Born] * 1
    #18831524 - 09/12/13 08:11 AM (10 years, 5 months ago)

No problem :hug:


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Invisiblememes
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Re: Methoxetamine -- The Tree of Life [Re: Asante]
    #18831525 - 09/12/13 08:11 AM (10 years, 5 months ago)

What a truly wonderful writeup.  Tears are welling up in my eyes as I type this. 

:hug:
:heart:


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Offlinedesant
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Re: Methoxetamine -- The Tree of Life [Re: Asante]
    #18831532 - 09/12/13 08:14 AM (10 years, 5 months ago)

nice trip


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InvisibleAsante
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Re: Methoxetamine -- The Tree of Life [Re: memes]
    #18831710 - 09/12/13 09:18 AM (10 years, 5 months ago)

Awwww thanks!

Cant wait for your turn to experience it ei? You will again :awesomenod:


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higher knowledge starts here


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InvisibleAsante
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Re: Methoxetamine -- The Tree of Life [Re: Asante]
    #18835583 - 09/13/13 03:40 AM (10 years, 5 months ago)

Does everyone TL;DR?


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higher knowledge starts here


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Invisiblememes
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Re: Methoxetamine -- The Tree of Life [Re: Asante]
    #18835777 - 09/13/13 06:14 AM (10 years, 5 months ago)

Quote:

Wiccan_Seeker said:
Does everyone TL;DR?



it would appear so.  too bad, too.  i really enjoyed it.


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OfflineTwinEclipse
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Re: Methoxetamine -- The Tree of Life [Re: memes]
    #18835973 - 09/13/13 08:20 AM (10 years, 5 months ago)

You sure know how to write up stories:thumbup:


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My purpose: to love, to share, and to experience....all while conforming to my psychedelic experiences.



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Invisiblememes
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Re: Methoxetamine -- The Tree of Life [Re: TwinEclipse]
    #18836041 - 09/13/13 08:47 AM (10 years, 5 months ago)

Quote:

TwinEclipse said:
You sure know how to write up stories:thumbup:



I know, right?  How well he puts into words, things which can not be put into words


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InvisibleMidnight_Toker
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Re: Methoxetamine -- The Tree of Life [Re: Asante]
    #18836194 - 09/13/13 09:42 AM (10 years, 5 months ago)

I always enjoy reading your trip reports, Wiccan.


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Invisiblemr sniffles
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Re: Methoxetamine -- The Tree of Life [Re: Midnight_Toker]
    #18836275 - 09/13/13 10:08 AM (10 years, 5 months ago)

very cool read. got me through this fucking boring fluids class.


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InvisibleMagicman69
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Re: Methoxetamine -- The Tree of Life [Re: mr sniffles]
    #18836300 - 09/13/13 10:19 AM (10 years, 5 months ago)

Wiccan, once one makes a wrong move and is off the golden thread, is there any way to get back on that path, or is there only one golden thread?


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Invisiblememes
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Re: Methoxetamine -- The Tree of Life [Re: Magicman69]
    #18836306 - 09/13/13 10:22 AM (10 years, 5 months ago)

great q


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InvisibleAsante
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Re: Methoxetamine -- The Tree of Life [Re: Magicman69]
    #18840173 - 09/14/13 06:21 AM (10 years, 5 months ago)

As I understand it if you stray, you may or may not be able to return to it for a while, but on the longer term you always will get "back on track".

Earlier sessions made clear that with each question in life, every answer you choose is Right and none will keep you from your goal, one is just the easier road, the other's the more difficult one.

Reconnect with your Inner Self, in most people it would tell you whats the "right" choice (towards the golden thread) and whats the "wrong" choice  (away from it). For many it would be hard not to have the message drowned out by their desires and fears though.

Whichever road you take though, eventually you'll reach your destination. No one is left behind.

Yesterday I had a mescaline session with my best friend, but for me most insights were already had in the MXE session before.  This morning I took 30mg MXE to see how it would interact with the psychedelic residuals, and there was STRONG synergism. Combining the main effects of Mesc and MXE likely will knock your socks off in a rather intense way.


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Invisiblemr sniffles
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Re: Methoxetamine -- The Tree of Life [Re: Asante]
    #18842594 - 09/14/13 09:37 PM (10 years, 5 months ago)

wiccan seeker i feel like you are one of the people who use mxe for more self-improvement qualities and i like that. someone with experience like you probably have had the experience to indulge in the many different novelties this drug has already had to offer, and you picked the one that would benefit your personality and the way you perceive the most. i feel like thats one of the best outcomes you could take when you are on this drug.

love your posts!


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InvisibleMcTwist
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Re: Methoxetamine -- The Tree of Life [Re: mr sniffles]
    #18855358 - 09/17/13 08:27 PM (10 years, 5 months ago)

Your experiences help me understand my own.

Thanks man.

These feelings, my intuition...I think if I listen to myself, my thoughts before desire and fear mar their clarity, that I end up treading along the golden thread. I'm currently at a point right this moment, in a tired haze of whole wheat pasta, parmesan cheese, and bacon, attempting to study about 15 major taxon of microorganisms for a 20 question quiz tomorrow, and I keep veering back and forth between listening to the new Grateful Dead Sunshine Daydream release and passing out with a cup of chamomile, or attempting to memorize shape, structure, distribution, habitat, and other key characteristics of these crazy microscopic beings, stressing myself out for a couple of points and a bunch of greased up facts which will soon slip out of my head.

Should I divulge in pleasure or proceed in pain? Is it worth it? Should I skip class and head into the woods to embark on a nature journal quest, ripe with meditation, eastern philosophy, and far flung scientific thought?

Which is right? How will my actions or inaction affect my path?

What if, what if, what if...

Life is fucking weird man, and you have come to deep, enlightening understanding. Keep on keepin' on, man, the world needs your positivity.

:heart:


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InvisibleMcTwist
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Re: Methoxetamine -- The Tree of Life [Re: McTwist]
    #18855373 - 09/17/13 08:31 PM (10 years, 5 months ago)

I'd just like to add that only I can answer these questions and am not seeking your guidance. Dissociatives especially connect me with my high self, and such answers would come readily, whole and ripe for the picking. And you're so right that we can only do Right: our paths wind us safely home, and no matter what we choose, we'll all end up where we need to be. The obstacles on our path are simply learning experiences.

This has been my mindset since I've finished LOTR over a year ago and recently dipped my toes into Taoism.


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InvisibleGumby
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Re: Methoxetamine -- The Tree of Life [Re: Asante]
    #18855389 - 09/17/13 08:36 PM (10 years, 5 months ago)

Quote:

Wiccan_Seeker said:
Does everyone TL;DR?




Probably better to post this in PE, more likely that people will actually read it there.


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InvisibleMystiqueMushroom

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Re: Methoxetamine -- The Tree of Life [Re: McTwist]
    #18855478 - 09/17/13 08:58 PM (10 years, 5 months ago)

Beautiful


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