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ilike_trees
Braun Taun



Registered: 11/22/09
Posts: 1,138
Last seen: 9 months, 28 days
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Sober sex
#18844782 - 09/15/13 02:28 PM (10 years, 4 months ago) |
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This thought scares the hell out of me, because I honestly haven't had sex while sober since high school, I'm 23 now.
I don't do the dating thing these days, maybe this will inspire me to start because casual sex really intimidates me while sober. I'm a high anxiety person as it is, which was why I used drugs to help me pick up women. Now that I'm sober I can pick them up fine but I get crazy performance anxiety when things start to heat up so I end up sabotaging myself just to leave.
I'm not sure what to do.
-------------------- Old and in the way
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TheMovement
faeirie princess in training



Registered: 07/30/12
Posts: 6,781
Loc: Under your bed.
Last seen: 2 years, 5 months
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Sober sex is the best sex. A long term girlfriend would help eliminate your performance anxiety. I know it did for me. Fucking the same girl daily for months on end should teach you ropes.
-------------------- Utwiddle.net In order to act like a king, one need only treat everyone else like one. BUMP THIS THREAD EVERYTIME YOU SEE IT Join the Anarchy Camp! Down with Oppression!!
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rockylampoon
Animal



Registered: 05/06/12
Posts: 334
Loc: Land of the Midnight Sun
Last seen: 7 years, 7 months
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If you want my clueless advice I'd say, what is easier said than done, don't try to achieve anything, just enjoy yourself. It's not the olympics, you can't lose at sex... unless you're being raped.
-------------------- I'll make sense when I run out of lemons. Until then I'll make lemonade.
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Ballerium
Little Black Spot on the Sun



Registered: 10/03/10
Posts: 11,025
Loc: GA
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Hey some people like being raped.
-------------------- Beats and waves will take me to my grave and when I go there I know that I won't be alone 'cause I've been spotted, blotted, many many times before.
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nebhazard5
Stranger


Registered: 09/23/07
Posts: 71
Last seen: 4 years, 5 months
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Get a girlfriend, have lots of non-sober sex, eventually youll be sober and get it on and by that point you shouldnt be so anxious
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ilike_trees
Braun Taun



Registered: 11/22/09
Posts: 1,138
Last seen: 9 months, 28 days
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I'm on parole so no go on the non sober sex
-------------------- Old and in the way
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ilike_trees
Braun Taun



Registered: 11/22/09
Posts: 1,138
Last seen: 9 months, 28 days
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Quote:
rockylampoon said: If you want my clueless advice I'd say, what is easier said than done, don't try to achieve anything, just enjoy yourself. It's not the olympics, you can't lose at sex... unless you're being raped. 
I like this. Sometimes I get so wrapped up in my own mind that I forget to just enjoy myself.
Thanks!
-------------------- Old and in the way
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psyconaught
Chemical Connoisseur


Registered: 11/04/10
Posts: 6,100
Last seen: 7 years, 2 months
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Quote:
Ballerium said: Hey some people like being raped. 
i agree. Although i tend to be on the other end of that exchange
-------------------- Think for yourself, question authority
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Ballerium
Little Black Spot on the Sun



Registered: 10/03/10
Posts: 11,025
Loc: GA
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-------------------- Beats and waves will take me to my grave and when I go there I know that I won't be alone 'cause I've been spotted, blotted, many many times before.
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TheWiz
Happy Little Shroom



Registered: 11/21/11
Posts: 191
Loc: Southern IL
Last seen: 3 years, 4 months
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Sober is the only way to have sex. Last time I combined drinking and sex I had only 3 beers and yet every sensation was remarkably less intense.
Weed does the opposite for me though.
-------------------- I'd hit it.
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mpd
Lammen Gorthaur



Registered: 10/22/12
Posts: 9,660
Loc: Mostly at home... Mostly....
Last seen: 8 years, 7 months
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Re: Sober sex [Re: TheWiz] 1
#18846211 - 09/15/13 08:32 PM (10 years, 4 months ago) |
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SOBER SEX???!!? WTF, OP??!! SOUNDS SKETCHY TO ME!!
-------------------- There is no truer calling for mankind than that of true conservatism.
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ilike_trees
Braun Taun



Registered: 11/22/09
Posts: 1,138
Last seen: 9 months, 28 days
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Re: Sober sex [Re: mpd]
#18846296 - 09/15/13 08:53 PM (10 years, 4 months ago) |
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Quote:
mpd said: SOBER SEX???!!? WTF, OP??!! SOUNDS SKETCHY TO ME!! 
My thoughts exactly, bro.
-------------------- Old and in the way
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Magenta
I care!!



Registered: 06/14/09
Posts: 20,322
Loc: The land of plenty
Last seen: 2 months, 6 days
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Sober Sex > No Sex
Good luck op. As i found out after getting out of a devoted five year relationship and attempting sexual intercourse with a new person; Anxiety can kill your libido and erection. If you can get past this stage, i'm pretty sure the sex will be decent at the least.
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EdibleStereos
Healthy Body, Sick Mind


Registered: 01/02/13
Posts: 4,899
Loc: South Africa
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Re: Sober sex [Re: Magenta]
#18848135 - 09/16/13 08:51 AM (10 years, 4 months ago) |
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yeah, Same feeling OP.
Booze brings out the uninhibited side of me girls respond to.
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Thayendanegea
quiet walker



Registered: 02/20/12
Posts: 7,596
Loc: 7 Lodges Nation
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Hey op...been there. All of a sudden,at the wrong moment... your mind goes all over the place. You hear everything around you, smell things...think about how you look or maybe about her breath or something. All this shit stops you from zeroing in on the objective. I know...I drank alcoholically for 25 yrs. before I got sober. All of a sudden, women were more interested in me but I was terrified.
There is no easy answer unless you want to try some of the "V" type drugs. I was desperate so I tried them in the beginning and they did as advertised. The long term answer for me that really worked was , like others said here, ....stay with one person for a while. For me, I had to fall in love with a patient beautiful lady. I no longer have any anxiety issues and the sex is better than ever.....sometimes 3 times a day. Just stay with it....find someone that you like...as well as love and be patient. Also, try pleasing her orally...for me, that was exciting in itself and got my mind off other shit. Sober sex is awesome dude...I am sure you will agree eventually. 
-------------------- Look Deep Into Nature,and Then You Will Understand Everything Better. Albert Einstein
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fungiamongi3
Stranger

Registered: 06/25/13
Posts: 190
Last seen: 7 years, 5 months
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im four months clean and havent had sober sex yet, ima have to figure it out real soon
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