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Offlineilike_trees
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Registered: 11/22/09
Posts: 1,138
Last seen: 9 months, 28 days
Sober sex
    #18844782 - 09/15/13 02:28 PM (10 years, 4 months ago)

This thought scares the hell out of me, because I honestly haven't had sex while sober since high school, I'm 23 now.

I don't do the dating thing these days, maybe this will inspire me to start because casual sex really intimidates me while sober. I'm a high anxiety person as it is, which was why I used drugs to help me pick up women. Now that I'm sober I can pick them up fine but I get crazy performance anxiety when things start to heat up so I end up sabotaging myself just to leave.

I'm not sure what to do.

:feelsbadman:


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Old and in the way


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OfflineTheMovement
faeirie princess in training
I'm a teapot


Registered: 07/30/12
Posts: 6,781
Loc: Under your bed.
Last seen: 2 years, 5 months
Re: Sober sex [Re: ilike_trees]
    #18845078 - 09/15/13 03:38 PM (10 years, 4 months ago)

Sober sex is the best sex.  A long term girlfriend would help eliminate your performance anxiety.  I know it did for me.  Fucking the same girl daily for months on end should teach you ropes.


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Offlinerockylampoon
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Registered: 05/06/12
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Re: Sober sex [Re: ilike_trees]
    #18845096 - 09/15/13 03:42 PM (10 years, 4 months ago)

If you want my clueless advice I'd say, what is easier said than done, don't try to achieve anything, just enjoy yourself. It's not the olympics, you can't lose at sex... unless you're being raped. :smile:


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I'll make sense when I run out of lemons. Until then I'll make lemonade.


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InvisibleBallerium
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Registered: 10/03/10
Posts: 11,025
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Re: Sober sex [Re: rockylampoon]
    #18845143 - 09/15/13 03:52 PM (10 years, 4 months ago)

Hey some people like being raped. :wink:


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Offlinenebhazard5
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Registered: 09/23/07
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Re: Sober sex [Re: Ballerium]
    #18845180 - 09/15/13 04:02 PM (10 years, 4 months ago)

Get a girlfriend, have lots of non-sober sex, eventually youll be sober and get it on and by that point you shouldnt be so anxious


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Offlineilike_trees
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Registered: 11/22/09
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Re: Sober sex [Re: nebhazard5]
    #18845190 - 09/15/13 04:05 PM (10 years, 4 months ago)

I'm on parole so no go on the non sober sex


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Offlineilike_trees
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Re: Sober sex [Re: rockylampoon]
    #18845242 - 09/15/13 04:25 PM (10 years, 4 months ago)

Quote:

rockylampoon said:
If you want my clueless advice I'd say, what is easier said than done, don't try to achieve anything, just enjoy yourself. It's not the olympics, you can't lose at sex... unless you're being raped. :smile:




I like this. Sometimes I get so wrapped up in my own mind that I forget to just enjoy myself.

Thanks!

:awethumb:


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Offlinepsyconaught
Chemical Connoisseur


Registered: 11/04/10
Posts: 6,100
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Re: Sober sex [Re: Ballerium]
    #18845289 - 09/15/13 04:43 PM (10 years, 4 months ago)

Quote:

Ballerium said:
Hey some people like being raped. :wink:



:solidnod: i agree. Although i tend to be on the other end of that exchange


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InvisibleBallerium
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Registered: 10/03/10
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Re: Sober sex [Re: psyconaught]
    #18845293 - 09/15/13 04:46 PM (10 years, 4 months ago)

:highfive:


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Beats and waves will take me to my grave and when I go there I know that I won't be alone 'cause I've been spotted, blotted, many many times before.



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OfflineTheWiz
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Registered: 11/21/11
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Loc: Southern IL
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Re: Sober sex [Re: Ballerium]
    #18845901 - 09/15/13 07:14 PM (10 years, 4 months ago)

Sober is the only way to have sex.  Last time I combined drinking and sex I had only 3 beers and yet every sensation was remarkably less intense.

Weed does the opposite for me though.


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Offlinempd
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Registered: 10/22/12
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Re: Sober sex [Re: TheWiz] * 1
    #18846211 - 09/15/13 08:32 PM (10 years, 4 months ago)

SOBER SEX???!!?  WTF, OP??!!  SOUNDS SKETCHY TO ME!!  :kingcrankey:


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There is no truer calling for mankind than that of true conservatism.


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Offlineilike_trees
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Re: Sober sex [Re: mpd]
    #18846296 - 09/15/13 08:53 PM (10 years, 4 months ago)

Quote:

mpd said:
SOBER SEX???!!?  WTF, OP??!!  SOUNDS SKETCHY TO ME!!  :kingcrankey:




My thoughts exactly, bro.


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OfflineMagenta
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Registered: 06/14/09
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Re: Sober sex [Re: ilike_trees]
    #18847912 - 09/16/13 07:08 AM (10 years, 4 months ago)

Sober Sex > No Sex

Good luck op. As i found out after getting out of a devoted five year relationship and attempting sexual intercourse with a new person; Anxiety can kill your libido and erection. If you can get past this stage, i'm pretty sure the sex will be decent at the least.


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InvisibleEdibleStereos
Healthy Body, Sick Mind
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Registered: 01/02/13
Posts: 4,899
Loc: South Africa
Re: Sober sex [Re: Magenta]
    #18848135 - 09/16/13 08:51 AM (10 years, 4 months ago)

yeah, Same feeling OP.

Booze brings out the uninhibited side of me girls respond to.


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InvisibleThayendanegea
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Registered: 02/20/12
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Re: Sober sex [Re: ilike_trees]
    #18849673 - 09/16/13 03:27 PM (10 years, 4 months ago)

Hey op...been there. All of a sudden,at the wrong moment... your mind goes all over the place. You hear everything around you, smell things...think about how you look or maybe about her breath or something. All this shit stops you from zeroing in on the objective.
I know...I drank alcoholically for 25 yrs. before I got sober. All of a sudden, women were more interested in me but I was terrified.

There is no easy answer unless you want to try some of the "V" type drugs. I was desperate so I tried them in the beginning and they did as advertised. The long term answer for me that really worked was , like others said here, ....stay with one person for a while. For me, I had to fall in love with a patient beautiful lady. I no longer have any anxiety issues and the sex is better than ever.....sometimes 3 times a day. Just stay with it....find someone that you like...as well as love and be patient.:grin: Also, try pleasing her orally...for me, that was exciting in itself and got my mind off other shit. Sober sex is awesome dude...I am sure you will agree eventually.:sunny::peace::goodluck:


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Look Deep Into Nature,and Then You Will Understand Everything Better.

Albert Einstein


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Offlinefungiamongi3
Stranger

Registered: 06/25/13
Posts: 190
Last seen: 7 years, 5 months
Re: Sober sex [Re: Thayendanegea]
    #18858449 - 09/18/13 02:38 PM (10 years, 4 months ago)

im four months clean and havent had sober sex yet, ima have to figure it out real soon


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