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Shop: Kraken Kratom Red Vein Kratom   Unfolding Nature Unfolding Nature: Being in the Implicate Order

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Offlineziggity
Stranger
Male


Registered: 07/05/13
Posts: 147
Last seen: 9 years, 11 months
Women, How Do I do it?
    #18842178 - 09/14/13 07:34 PM (10 years, 5 months ago)

First I have to explain that I am a very introverted person and really prefer to not be around people. I find people very judgmental and not accepting enough to others. It could just be my distorted introverted self but I just feel like others are very selfish and only care about the thrills of their own world.

Yes I'm introverted but I'm also very confident around others. It's weird, I suffer severe social anxiety but I'm so egotistical that I just stop caring what others think and I project a confident act.

I'm open to admit that I view women as objects of sexual encounters and don't really understand how to be "friends" with girls. I mean I'd love to have a girl companion that can keep up with my intelligence and my life but I often find myself moving too fast for others and I focus on my priorities of achieving political freedom.

So, I have a required Pass/No Pass university course which is Computer Applications for Business. The course goes over microsoft office (word, powerpoint, excel, and access) where you have one day for teacher instruction, one day for group work on program we're working with, and then final test for that program. The teacher put us into groups of three and since it's a Pass/No Pass, a lot of people have dropped the class (it's intense and only lasts 4 weeks, it's a shitty course and a waste of everyone's time). So basically I had three people in my group: me, a girl, and a frat boy. Well obviously I'm not an alpha male type but I do have confidence in myself but socially I don't like to project my arrogance on others (yes I know a lot about the nature of myself but I still can't find solutions to the problems). So the first group project I just kinda sat there passively not givin a fuck and didn't do much for the group. So we got half credit (25.5/50) and you can only miss 75 points to pass the class. So the frat boy decided he'd take it next semester instead so now our group is just down to me and the girl. Well, I don't want to have to take the course again so when it came down to the last group project with just me and her, I took the reigns and did most of the work to get us both a 50/50 on the project.

I can definitely tell since that project, that she definitely has a thing for me. Like on friday, when we were getting ready for the next group project on monday, she just kept using "we" every time getting a good grade was brought up. Rather than "I only have 0.5 points to miss before I don't pass, so I need to get 100% from here on out", she actually said "I only have 0.5 points to miss before I don't pass, so we need to do well on monday". Like it's hard to explain but I can tell she definitely has a thing for me since that day that I projected my dominance on the situation.

Guys or gals, how do you suggest I approach this situation? I haven't had sex since i lost my virginity in high school and haven't had a relationship since then. I've barely even had ANY contact with girls since then and haven't even been just friends with girls since then. I'm just a really awkward guy that when it comes down to flirting, I just feel awkward doing it. I'm not much of the lovey dovey type of guy and prefer to keep flirting away from others to see...


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InvisibleClockCode
A Lonely Hypha


Registered: 11/12/12
Posts: 546
Loc: The Highest Desert
Re: Women, How Do I do it? [Re: ziggity] * 2
    #18842200 - 09/14/13 07:42 PM (10 years, 5 months ago)

:rolleyes:


--------------------
Psilovibing


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InvisibleMr.PhilCybin
Master Baiter
I'm a teapot

Registered: 06/13/11
Posts: 11,642
Loc: Gnarnia
Re: Women, How Do I do it? [Re: ClockCode]
    #18842219 - 09/14/13 07:50 PM (10 years, 5 months ago)

Stop thinking about it so much, and stop assigning a "goal" to the situation.
Just be yourself, don't be creepy, and let things flow naturally.


--------------------
I'm stupid, Falcon91Wolvrn03 is smart.
I'm ugly, Falcon91Wolvrn03 is beautiful.
I'm a loser, Falcon91Wolvrn03 is a winner.
Someday, I hope to be like Falcon91Wolvrn03 but secretly know I never will.


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InvisibleDark_Star
train driver pervading a desktop
Male User Gallery

Registered: 08/20/04
Posts: 31,859
Loc: Uranus
Re: Women, How Do I do it? [Re: ziggity] * 1
    #18842253 - 09/14/13 07:57 PM (10 years, 5 months ago)

Quote:

ziggity said:
So, I have a required Pass/No Pass university course which is Computer Applications for Business. The course goes over microsoft office (word, powerpoint, excel, and access) where you have one day for teacher instruction, one day for group work on program we're working with, and then final test for that program. The teacher put us into groups of three and since it's a Pass/No Pass, a lot of people have dropped the class (it's intense and only lasts 4 weeks, it's a shitty course and a waste of everyone's time). So basically I had three people in my group: me, a girl, and a frat boy. Well obviously I'm not an alpha male type but I do have confidence in myself but socially I don't like to project my arrogance on others (yes I know a lot about the nature of myself but I still can't find solutions to the problems). So the first group project I just kinda sat there passively not givin a fuck and didn't do much for the group. So we got half credit (25.5/50) and you can only miss 75 points to pass the class. So the frat boy decided he'd take it next semester instead so now our group is just down to me and the girl. Well, I don't want to have to take the course again so when it came down to the last group project with just me and her, I took the reigns and did most of the work to get us both a 50/50 on the project.

I can definitely tell since that project, that she definitely has a thing for me. Like on friday, when we were getting ready for the next group project on monday, she just kept using "we" every time getting a good grade was brought up. Rather than "I only have 0.5 points to miss before I don't pass, so I need to get 100% from here on out", she actually said "I only have 0.5 points to miss before I don't pass, so we need to do well on monday". Like it's hard to explain but I can tell she definitely has a thing for me since that day that I projected my dominance on the situation.




The bolded portions lead me to believe that she just got used to you doing all the work & is now relying on you to carry her through the rest of course. "we need to do well on Monday" = You need to do most/all of the work, and do it good so that I get a good grade. :shrug:


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OfflineCabinet_Sanchez
Stranger
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Registered: 02/14/07
Posts: 371
Last seen: 7 years, 6 months
Re: Women, How Do I do it? [Re: Mr.PhilCybin]
    #18842268 - 09/14/13 08:02 PM (10 years, 5 months ago)

Well to start, I'll point out the irony that you criticize others for being self-centered and interested only in their own worlds while simultaneously describing yourself as a highly introverted person who doesn't like being around other people and boasting about how you're so smart and egotistical that you're above other people.  You are projecting your own self-centered nature on other people.  Also you're completely pretentious and off-putting.

You probably won't listen to me because you're young and pretentious and I'm right.  But regardless, I thought I'd let you know that some girl saying "we" and being nicer to you because you got her a good grade without her having to do anything are totally meaningless.  Also I doubt any girl is going to be particularly interested in you while you believe that they are sexual objects that aren't fit to interact with your vast intellect.  Also ironically even though you're supposedly so smart you haven't realized any of this yet.


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Offlineziggity
Stranger
Male


Registered: 07/05/13
Posts: 147
Last seen: 9 years, 11 months
Re: Women, How Do I do it? [Re: Dark_Star]
    #18842276 - 09/14/13 08:03 PM (10 years, 5 months ago)

Quote:

Dark_Star said:


The bolded portions lead me to believe that she just got used to you doing all the work & is now relying on you to carry her through the rest of course. "we need to do well on Monday" = You need to do most/all of the work, and do it good so that I get a good grade. :shrug:




Yeah you're right. Thanks for showing me what I was analyzing wrong. Oh well, it doesn't bother me haha


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OfflineGreySatyr
Pagan-Psyche
Male

Registered: 06/20/13
Posts: 3,376
Loc: North Carolina
Last seen: 9 years, 9 months
Re: Women, How Do I do it? [Re: ziggity]
    #18842305 - 09/14/13 08:10 PM (10 years, 5 months ago)

We've all got problems. Sadly, the percentage chance of a man finding a girl to live happily ever after with is amazingly low. There are ways to raise it though.


--------------------
...also, go to hell, huh?


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InvisibleDawks
Jolly African Potato


Registered: 06/09/10
Posts: 4,935
Re: Women, How Do I do it? [Re: ziggity]
    #18842740 - 09/14/13 10:37 PM (10 years, 5 months ago)

Flirting is easy OP, I'd go so far as to say it's the easiest form of human communication. It's one of the first things children do... in fact even some non-human animals do it.

Basically flirting is mutual teasing. It's hard to give an example of flirting textually, as it's more of a body language thing but I'll do my best.

>boy: you look really nice :derfase:
>girl: thanks :smile:
>boy: but why did you wear those dorky shoes, are you going to funeral? :lol:
>her: no, they're sexy, you're just jealous :tongue2:
>boy: well I guess if anyone can pull them off it's you. :yesnod:


Imagine the the above exchange but each participant delivers their line with a cheeky, non-serious smile. That'd be flirtatious. The same exchange could be rude with the exact same words but a serious tone/expression.


>boy: you look really nice :rolleyes:
>girl: thanks? :confused:
>boy: but why did you wear those dorky shoes, are you going to funeral? :puke:
>her: no, they're sexy, you're just jealous :mad2:
>boy: well I guess if anyone can pull them off it's you. :facepalm:


A better example or physical flirting is to watch children playing in the playground.


>*boy walks up to girl*
>*boy gently  shoves the girl*
>*girl laughs*
>*girl tries to push boy back*
>*boy runs a away*
>*girl chases him*


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date ; unzip ; strip ; touch ; grep ; finger ; mount ; fsck ; more ; yes ; umount ; sleep


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Offlinerockylampoon
Animal
 User Gallery


Registered: 05/06/12
Posts: 334
Loc: Land of the Midnight Sun
Last seen: 7 years, 7 months
Re: Women, How Do I do it? [Re: Dawks]
    #18843201 - 09/15/13 02:19 AM (10 years, 5 months ago)

The first thing you need to realise is that even if other people are less intelligent than you are, they are probably not as stupid as you think. It is easy to forget that you get to experience all of your own toughts and reasoning while you only hear a fraction of what is going through other peoples minds. Not spending any real time with these "unintelligent" people, not giving them a chance to prove themselves, strengthens this perception.


--------------------
I'll make sense when I run out of lemons. Until then I'll make lemonade.


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OfflineHeffy
BrauMeister
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Registered: 08/30/04
Posts: 3,262
Loc: International Traveller
Last seen: 5 years, 9 months
Re: Women, How Do I do it? [Re: rockylampoon]
    #18843574 - 09/15/13 07:35 AM (10 years, 5 months ago)

There are also different forms of intelligence. I'm the type of person that if you asked me to build or design something I would be very successful. On the other hand if you asked me to sell the same product in a high pressure sales environment I would be mostly useless.

It's interesting, because I'm very good at maintaining strong relationships with people once they are established, but very bad at establishing the first contact with a person I am interested in.


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I am the king of Rome, and above grammar! - Emperor Sigismund


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OfflineAngel_Above
Nobody
Male


Registered: 09/25/08
Posts: 5,348
Last seen: 6 months, 16 days
Re: Women, How Do I do it? [Re: Heffy]
    #18843797 - 09/15/13 09:19 AM (10 years, 5 months ago)

Maybe your definition of "Oh I'm an introvert, no one "gets" me" is holding you back?

I used to think I was an introvert, and I used to be a lot like you.

Then I found people who accepted what I had to say, and had stuff to add. Not always pleasantly, but at least in an open manner.

There is no goal here. Maybe, since you think she's into you, you can flirt subtley or even over-the-top with a big-ass grin on your face. Some girls like dorks.

Mine does :shrug:

Don't be afraid to be you, is basically what I mean about the label of introvert. It's so heavy man. I realized I'm not an introvert, I'm an extrovert, who played like an introvert for quite some time until realizing "HEY! I have some shit to say more often than I do... why don't I? because I'm scared of what others think!"

Maybe pretend to be cheeky and write a note you pass to her at a random time. Stupid hello with a face. Or a joke about the teacher or upcoming assignment.

See her response (not her initial reaction) and go from there.

If anything, stop seeing this girl as a possible "girlfriend" and see her as valid practice! (Men never stop using women as objects, har har har).

But if you think of her being a possible girlfriend, she'll feel it. If you are just playing with her (like SHE would assume you play with everyone) it wouldn't make her feel so singled out and would make her more interested.

Makes it more of a game.

Idk what I'm saying but I've had plenty of girlfriends and now I've got a solid girlfriend.

Best of luck mate


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