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OfflineEric573

Registered: 07/22/13
Posts: 145
Last seen: 6 years, 8 months
Being Alone
    #18832272 - 09/12/13 12:33 PM (10 years, 4 months ago)

I've spent most of my time alone. Sometimes I wish I had more friends.. especially ones that have similar interests as me. I don't want to go chat about nothing to strangers, which seems to be the most successful way to make friends. So many things people do have always seemed entirely uninteresting to me, even as a child.
I'm wondering what you people well-informed on spirituality think about this. Do you generally consider small talk as unconscious behavior? Has your disinterest in unimportant activities ever made you feel like an outcast? Any advice?


--------------------
-Eric


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Offlineblueconfusion
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Re: Being Alone [Re: Eric573]
    #18832344 - 09/12/13 12:54 PM (10 years, 4 months ago)

I have spent months on end totally isolated only going out to get groceries and even avoiding that and going hungry at times just because I didn't want to interact even in a non conversational way I just didn't want to see people.  I lived on a mountain and found more enjoyment interacting with nature than people.  I know this distance I know this disgust with ignorance. when I finally did move back to "civilization" it took me a long time to be comfortable and even be able to tolerate them.  Im still not a social person but I can play nice now and be sociable when it warrants the need.


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Offlineblueconfusion
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Re: Being Alone [Re: blueconfusion]
    #18832382 - 09/12/13 01:03 PM (10 years, 4 months ago)

Honestly small talk and the whole facade we play as humans makes me uncomfortable because I just don't care I too as a young child spent most of my time alone I grew up in the country and was an only child life is way to broad of an experience to talk about the weather and what whoever is doing but the psychedelic experience spirituality and mysticism are schisms in our world its hard to find ppl to relate to thats why I say fuck them all


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Offlinecrkhd
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Registered: 12/28/08
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Re: Being Alone [Re: blueconfusion]
    #18832429 - 09/12/13 01:14 PM (10 years, 4 months ago)

Break the shackles within your Self my friend, it is no other than your Self who is making these things obstacles instead of challenges.

When you are abiding at Home in your Body, then conversation with strangers will be free-flowing and you will not worry about opening or closing a conversation, it will just happen.

Everyone I meet is my Friend and they are Me, my face superimposed onto their own, for the duration of interaction and then some.

The illusion of disappearance is unreal and see through it. Just as we might close our eyes as babies and pretend other people do not exist for a while to be safe within our Self, so we close the doors of Mind so as to evoke safety.


This is a throat chakra issue, look into throat chakra blockages and work from there, the answer will be found therein or if not, a pointer. When you feel at ease in your Self, your surroundings are naturally easy.

First thing is first: control your Feet. They walk you to places. Stop using them to walk you to idiots and start choosing Wise Conversation, Right Speech. Purify your own Speech and you shall encounter Pure Speech everywhere you go.


You are in a house of mirrors and every mirror sees your Face, so if you wake up and want to see angry face, angry face will talk to you, if you look for happy face, happy face is waiting too. Above all look for Divine Loving Face and you shall find your Saving Grace, that is the object and goal of the Human Race, ja feel?


--------------------


"Everything there is, and all that there is, is a Pattern of unspeakable proportion. The Pattern contains everything that is, completely fixed in succession, all the minimal particles interconnected in every way that is. Every way that is is not every conceivable way, because not everything that can be conceived is manifest in the pattern."

"THE Human, you, is a miniscule but essential part of that pattern. In it lies complete fulfillment. It will never become something it is not, but it will never need to be anything else." - Wiccan_Seeker

"If boring drudgery was the way of the universe, everything would have killed itself long ago." - Spacerific


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OfflineEric573

Registered: 07/22/13
Posts: 145
Last seen: 6 years, 8 months
Re: Being Alone [Re: crkhd]
    #18832580 - 09/12/13 01:56 PM (10 years, 4 months ago)

That was a highly enjoyable read crkhd. Not to mention exactly the advice I was looking for. Truly helpful. Thank you very much.


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Offlineeve69
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Re: Being Alone [Re: Eric573]
    #18832805 - 09/12/13 02:55 PM (10 years, 4 months ago)

Jesus, I have one friend and my wife - that's it. I spend the majority of my time by myself. I have found ways to enjoy the time. Guitar and meditation mostly. Don't worry about it. People are all individual. Friends are mostly trouble.


--------------------
...or something







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Offlinecircastes
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Re: Being Alone [Re: eve69]
    #18832868 - 09/12/13 03:14 PM (10 years, 4 months ago)

We are certainly a different bunch on Shroomery. I spend most of my time in solitude and my biggest interest is rainforests.


--------------------
My solitude...
My shield...
My armour...

TESTED
WITH
FULL
FORCE


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OnlineKickleM
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Re: Being Alone [Re: Eric573]
    #18833259 - 09/12/13 04:46 PM (10 years, 4 months ago)

Quote:

Eric573 said:
I've spent most of my time alone. Sometimes I wish I had more friends.. especially ones that have similar interests as me. I don't want to go chat about nothing to strangers, which seems to be the most successful way to make friends. So many things people do have always seemed entirely uninteresting to me, even as a child.
I'm wondering what you people well-informed on spirituality think about this. Do you generally consider small talk as unconscious behavior? Has your disinterest in unimportant activities ever made you feel like an outcast? Any advice?




I've watched my girlfriend build 3 separate social networks since we've graduated college. Her first was through her older brothers fiance. They started training for a marathon together and that quickly led to this woman introducing her to other runners and on and on it snowballed. Each person she met led to two more. Then she paired it down to the ones she wanted to keep contact with. This was the second social networks beginning. These women then created a book club and meet once a week,  rotating who hosts, and each is responsible for bringing some food and beverage. New members get added from time to time and so the circle grows.

The third is through the internet. She knits. A lot. And she talks with other knitters, sends them items, holds raffles, etc. And she gets tons of mail back. Its nice really. On a recent trip out of the States we met up with one of these online contacts and were treated to a wonderful night out by her. So a lot can come from online relationships too. 

This all is within her interests and started from 1 semi-aquaintance. Me on the other hand, I've lost contact with most my friends because I don't call, I don't write, I don't visit, I don't invite. If I stumble into them I will however give them a huge heartfelt hug. She learned social networking from her family. I learned isolationist tactics. In the end IMO that's the thick and thin of it. We learn how to interact with others pretty early. And while its not set in stone it is challenging for some to learn those skills, especially when already isolated. Because even if you intellectually know what to do, there is still an emotional factor. And someone who grew up socializing is going to have a comfort that is only learned through placing yourself in those situations for prolonged periods of time and often feeling uncomfortable for much of it.


--------------------
Why shouldn't the truth be stranger than fiction?
Fiction, after all, has to make sense. -- Mark Twain


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OfflineFishOilTheKid
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Re: Being Alone [Re: Kickle]
    #18833373 - 09/12/13 05:17 PM (10 years, 4 months ago)

Quote:

I learned isolationist tactics.




:awesomenod:


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Offlineblueconfusion
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Re: Being Alone [Re: FishOilTheKid]
    #18833718 - 09/12/13 06:38 PM (10 years, 4 months ago)

I find myself in that isolationist realm I choose to not interact I only do out of necessity I really just find myself happier alone with my wife and children it is my happy place.


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Offlinecircastes
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Re: Being Alone [Re: blueconfusion]
    #18833916 - 09/12/13 07:33 PM (10 years, 4 months ago)

No kidding though I'm fucking high as a kite and I haven't ingested a thing, listening to Jimi Hendrix just kind of dancing around the house, about to play QuakeLIVE really, really fast. It's awesome. My life is awesome.


--------------------
My solitude...
My shield...
My armour...

TESTED
WITH
FULL
FORCE


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InvisiblePsilopsychosis
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Re: Being Alone [Re: circastes]
    #18834336 - 09/12/13 08:55 PM (10 years, 4 months ago)

Id say that friends are great. Happiness is meant to be shared. 

That being said I've been much the loner this past year. In August I only chilled with three different people. 

Its all good though, I've got some friends inside my head. :crazy:


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OfflineMarkostheGnostic
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Re: Being Alone [Re: Eric573]
    #18834384 - 09/12/13 09:06 PM (10 years, 4 months ago)

Social isolation has been my entire life. I have my wife, and a few occasional acquaintances. I have no social life and no outlet for meeting people. I've looked into MeetUps, but it hasn't worked out. I should come to terms with the fact that I am, as my wife says, unusual. I read that as weird, objectively speaking. I'm not a family guy, so I don't meet people through their kids. Now I'm old enough to be a grandfather, but for Christ's sake do not whip out pictures of your grandchildren. Every grandparent says exactly the same proud shit about their 'genius' grandchildren. I'd rather hear that you've got a porn star granddaughter at this point. Ageism, or the 'generation gap' really IS a problem. People after their 20s, during the 30s, 40s, 50s and 60s become less and less interesting, less and less interested in the things that would make them interesting. People stop exploring, philosophizing, wondering. They just want to be comfortable. My old tripping/camping buddy said he wanted to be "fat, dumb, and happy." His wife discouraged further friendship with me. I was his best man at their wedding. Never saw either of his kids, now they're grown. I realize that my life-style is completely contrary to those of my friends who became family guys, and I could never discuss the little things that become so important to child-rearing. That stuff is worse than chit-chat. :shrug:


--------------------
γνῶθι σαὐτόν - Gnothi Seauton - Know Thyself


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InvisibleCosmicJokeM
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Re: Being Alone [Re: MarkostheGnostic]
    #18835144 - 09/13/13 12:14 AM (10 years, 4 months ago)

Quote:

Eric573 said:
I've spent most of my time alone. Sometimes I wish I had more friends.. especially ones that have similar interests as me. I don't want to go chat about nothing to strangers, which seems to be the most successful way to make friends. So many things people do have always seemed entirely uninteresting to me, even as a child.
I'm wondering what you people well-informed on spirituality think about this. Do you generally consider small talk as unconscious behavior? Has your disinterest in unimportant activities ever made you feel like an outcast? Any advice?




Throughout my life, I've met some truly fuckin' extraodinary people... My only advice, which I once read in Be Here Now, is to extricate yourself from the drama, including playing the role of the outcast.  Good people are out there, surround yourself with those with 'beginner's mind', anyone looking for education is a good start IMHO.

MarkostheGnostic said:
I'd rather hear that you've got a porn star granddaughter at this point.




:lol: bwahahaha


--------------------
Everything is better than it was the last time.  I'm good.

If we could look into each others hearts, and understand the unique challenges each of us faces, I think we would treat each other much more gently, with more love, patience, tolerance, and care.

It takes a lot of courage to go out there and radiate your essence.

I know you scared, you should ask us if we scared too.  If you was there, and we just knew you cared too.


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OfflineEric573

Registered: 07/22/13
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Re: Being Alone [Re: MarkostheGnostic] * 2
    #18835701 - 09/13/13 05:24 AM (10 years, 4 months ago)

Quote:

MarkostheGnostic said:
People after their 20s, during the 30s, 40s, 50s and 60s become less and less interesting, less and less interested in the things that would make them interesting. People stop exploring, philosophizing, wondering. They just want to be comfortable.




Hah..I'm only 19.. so I was hoping people got more interesting through age. Good to know there's no reason to wait.


--------------------
-Eric


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Invisiblemt cleverest
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Re: Being Alone [Re: Eric573] * 1
    #18837113 - 09/13/13 02:07 PM (10 years, 4 months ago)

I often feel like a loner because Im disinterested in social norms. psychedelics will do that to you. I have a very hard time relating to people who are super invested in things that I know are meaningless. these days Im only interested in truth.

but I think a preference for solitude is a stage that most spiritual seekers go through.  part of it I think is that us spiritual loners have become aware enough or sensitive enough to see through, not only other egos, but our own ego too. at which point we see socializing as one big lie or game that we dont want to play anymore. it just doesnt feel right, so we pull put.

in being by yourself, there is no image of yourself to hold up. holding up an image of yourself is tiring after awhile. we become dePRESSED from the weight of this fictitious thing. and we come to realize that being alone is a release and the closest thing to 'the rest' that enlightened teachers always talk about. unfortunately I think true enlightenment is expereincing that rest in a public.


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Offlinecircastes
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Re: Being Alone [Re: mt cleverest]
    #18837251 - 09/13/13 02:47 PM (10 years, 4 months ago)

I think if you're a solitary spirit or truth seeker you can't really compromise either; you either go full steam with your investigations or you go out and you find some friends. Any toiling around will make you very lonesome.


--------------------
My solitude...
My shield...
My armour...

TESTED
WITH
FULL
FORCE


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InvisibleMiddlemanM

Registered: 07/11/99
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Re: Being Alone [Re: circastes]
    #18837765 - 09/13/13 05:03 PM (10 years, 4 months ago)

War is cruel. There is no use trying to reform it.
But the crueler it is, the sooner it’s over.

General W.T. Sherman


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OfflineMarkostheGnostic
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Re: Being Alone [Re: CosmicJoke]
    #18837804 - 09/13/13 05:17 PM (10 years, 4 months ago)

Quote:

CosmicJoke said:
Quote:

Eric573 said:
I've spent most of my time alone. Sometimes I wish I had more friends.. especially ones that have similar interests as me. I don't want to go chat about nothing to strangers, which seems to be the most successful way to make friends. So many things people do have always seemed entirely uninteresting to me, even as a child.
I'm wondering what you people well-informed on spirituality think about this. Do you generally consider small talk as unconscious behavior? Has your disinterest in unimportant activities ever made you feel like an outcast? Any advice?




Throughout my life, I've met some truly fuckin' extraodinary people... My only advice, which I once read in Be Here Now, is to extricate yourself from the drama, including playing the role of the outcast.  Good people are out there, surround yourself with those with 'beginner's mind', anyone looking for education is a good start IMHO.

MarkostheGnostic said:
I'd rather hear that you've got a porn star granddaughter at this point.




:lol: bwahahaha




Well, I've never intentionally played the role of the outcast, I'm just conflicted by a sort of ambivert need. That is to say, I'd like to have a social life, which is an extravert behavior, with a group of introverts. It just runs contrary to the nature of introversion. :shrug: I read an interesting article today that had the illustration below.

It seems that the extraordinary people I met were mostly university professors. By the time I was done with my 10 years of university life, I probably should have sought an academic position, but I followed my heart, which led me to a rather isolated life in an anti-intellectual place, and because the state wouldn't license me as what I schooled for, I began working in middle schools where people either went to college just to get a teaching job, or sought the principal-> administrator track. My heart had been deceived, but by the time that marriage failed, I was almost a decade into a career, and a decade removed from academia. Nothing to do but turn lemons into lemonade. Had I left, however, I would've never met my Rose. But she is even more introverted than I am! We were invited down to an art gallery, and I just got a phone call to remind me (which I didn't take). I'd bet my bippy you'd go!  :awesomenod: http://www.bacfl.org ; Given the choice, I'd rather meet my old colleague and his new girlfriend in the privacy of our home tomorrow.

I truly haven't met but one person in 30 years who had "beginner's mind," but in a Hindu idiom. He's also introverted, and he lives a good distance south of us. It's odd when the spouse of an old married couple is not into her husband's trip, and doesn't want to socialize on that basis. I just have to accept my karma and stop griping about it. :foreheadslap:



--------------------
γνῶθι σαὐτόν - Gnothi Seauton - Know Thyself


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InvisibleCosmicJokeM
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Re: Being Alone [Re: MarkostheGnostic]
    #18838294 - 09/13/13 07:15 PM (10 years, 4 months ago)

Well, let's say there are 5,500,000 people in Miami metro, and 1% of them are your personality type... That's 55,000 highly introverted, intellectual types residing in Miami.  Now let's say 12% of you have tried LSD, that's 6,600... and 10% of that 6,600 consider it to have profoundly impacted their lives, and that would be 660..  Subtracting you and your wife, my guess is there are no less than 658 other people in Miami who are presently complaining about how shallow and insipid their fellow Miamians are, skipping out on invitations to art galleries, and opting instead to spend their time imbibing entheogens and pursuing their esoteric interests.  By the sheer size of the place, statistically it just has to be illogical to think that you're all alone down there.  It only seems that way.  :biggrin:


--------------------
Everything is better than it was the last time.  I'm good.

If we could look into each others hearts, and understand the unique challenges each of us faces, I think we would treat each other much more gently, with more love, patience, tolerance, and care.

It takes a lot of courage to go out there and radiate your essence.

I know you scared, you should ask us if we scared too.  If you was there, and we just knew you cared too.


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Offlinecircastes
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Re: Being Alone [Re: CosmicJoke]
    #18838449 - 09/13/13 07:52 PM (10 years, 4 months ago)

Yeah it's cool to recognize even at your weirdest moment, someone else has done it. I used to be really bad at socialising, extremely bad, it was so awkward, I thought no one ever got that bad, but yeah I saw this guy just like I was the other day. Eh. Just another brick on the wall...


--------------------
My solitude...
My shield...
My armour...

TESTED
WITH
FULL
FORCE


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OfflineMarkostheGnostic
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Re: Being Alone [Re: CosmicJoke]
    #18839375 - 09/13/13 11:30 PM (10 years, 4 months ago)

I think you'd better come visit us and make some of these important introductions!


--------------------
γνῶθι σαὐτόν - Gnothi Seauton - Know Thyself


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InvisibleCosmicJokeM
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Re: Being Alone [Re: MarkostheGnostic]
    #18839518 - 09/14/13 12:01 AM (10 years, 4 months ago)

Quote:

MarkostheGnostic said:
I think you'd better come visit us and make some of these important introductions!




K, I'll be like the existential detectives in I <3 Hucakabees that introduce you to your alters who also struggle to find meaning in the repetition of their daily lives :lol:


--------------------
Everything is better than it was the last time.  I'm good.

If we could look into each others hearts, and understand the unique challenges each of us faces, I think we would treat each other much more gently, with more love, patience, tolerance, and care.

It takes a lot of courage to go out there and radiate your essence.

I know you scared, you should ask us if we scared too.  If you was there, and we just knew you cared too.


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OfflineUniversaleyeni
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Re: Being Alone [Re: CosmicJoke]
    #18840094 - 09/14/13 04:47 AM (10 years, 4 months ago)

When I started tripping many moons ago, I became extremely introverted. I felt no one could possibly understand all the different things I saw and felt.on my trips.I hated even going out in public just because I would be surrounded with people's indifference to what the universe really is. Let's just say Miami (like many major cities) is stocked.with indifference and sleepers.

I had a powerful trip some yrs ago in which I learned I was shutting out cosmic beauty, and the cure was to change immediately. I made it a point to greet people as I passed them either with a smile or words, and to be as kind and understanding as I coul d. I realized that regardless of the outside world, I was still me, and that is a wonderful thing.

Seeing myself in others helped me realize how we are built for survival, and as such, we will adapt...even if that means becoming callus and cold. We are fragile. Our personalities develop through our learaning process called life.

I don't expect to become best pals with every stranger I meet. But I started meeting more and more lovely people as soon as I opened my heart to the.possibilities.


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InvisibleCosmicJokeM
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Re: Being Alone [Re: Universaleyeni]
    #18840145 - 09/14/13 05:51 AM (10 years, 4 months ago)

Quote:

Universaleyeni said:
. Let's just say Miami (like many major cities) is stocked.with indifference and sleepers.





Mmmhmm, and my bet is Miami also 'stocks' more sensitive, awakened types than other places.... maybe not by percentage, but certainly in raw numbers, because there are 5.5 million people there... it's a hard number to fully comprehend... even if things are skewed heavily towards the materialistic compared to other places, that little fraction of enlightened people is still an epic truck ton of people compared to my small Ohioan hometown of 13,000 :shrug: even if you were to get a more feel good vibe from that small town  :ohwell:


--------------------
Everything is better than it was the last time.  I'm good.

If we could look into each others hearts, and understand the unique challenges each of us faces, I think we would treat each other much more gently, with more love, patience, tolerance, and care.

It takes a lot of courage to go out there and radiate your essence.

I know you scared, you should ask us if we scared too.  If you was there, and we just knew you cared too.


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OfflineUniversaleyeni
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Re: Being Alone [Re: CosmicJoke]
    #18840246 - 09/14/13 07:22 AM (10 years, 4 months ago)

I agree cosmic joke. You are absolutely right and that is very positive.

I never thought about it like that.

:cool:


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InvisibleCosmicJokeM
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Re: Being Alone [Re: Universaleyeni]
    #18841406 - 09/14/13 03:20 PM (10 years, 4 months ago)

Quote:

Universaleyeni said:
I agree cosmic joke. You are absolutely right and that is very positive.

I never thought about it like that.

:cool:






You tell me this town aint got no heart. well, well, well, you can never tell.
The sunny side of the street is dark. well, well, well, you can never tell.
Maybe thats cause its midnight, in the dark of the moon besides.

Maybe the dark is from your eyes, maybe the dark is from your eyes,
Maybe the dark is from your eyes, maybe the dark is from your eyes,
Maybe the dark is from your eyes, maybe the dark is from your eyes,
You know you got such dark eyes!

Nothin shakin on shakedown street. used to be the heart of town.
Dont tell me this town aint got no heart. you just gotta poke around.


--------------------
Everything is better than it was the last time.  I'm good.

If we could look into each others hearts, and understand the unique challenges each of us faces, I think we would treat each other much more gently, with more love, patience, tolerance, and care.

It takes a lot of courage to go out there and radiate your essence.

I know you scared, you should ask us if we scared too.  If you was there, and we just knew you cared too.


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OfflineUniversaleyeni
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Re: Being Alone [Re: CosmicJoke]
    #18843738 - 09/15/13 08:55 AM (10 years, 4 months ago)

Nice :thumbup:  :gd_icon:


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Offlinezzripz
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Re: Being Alone [Re: circastes]
    #18843787 - 09/15/13 09:15 AM (10 years, 4 months ago)

Quote:

circastes said:
We are certainly a different bunch on Shroomery. I spend most of my time in solitude and my biggest interest is rainforests.




... :smile:))) One of the most beautiful posts I have ever read!


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OfflineMarkostheGnostic
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Re: Being Alone [Re: CosmicJoke]
    #18844389 - 09/15/13 12:28 PM (10 years, 4 months ago)

Quote:

CosmicJoke said:
Quote:

Universaleyeni said:
. Let's just say Miami (like many major cities) is stocked.with indifference and sleepers.





Mmmhmm, and my bet is Miami also 'stocks' more sensitive, awakened types than other places.... maybe not by percentage, but certainly in raw numbers, because there are 5.5 million people there... it's a hard number to fully comprehend... even if things are skewed heavily towards the materialistic compared to other places, that little fraction of enlightened people is still an epic truck ton of people compared to my small Ohioan hometown of 13,000 :shrug: even if you were to get a more feel good vibe from that small town  :ohwell:





Oddly enough, since retiring, I have had more visitors to our home in the past two months than during the past two years. Just last night, the last-standing original TRUST Specialist (we were 2 of 13 the began the program that I just left after 27 years) came over with his new girlfriend. Two other former co-workers were coming over at the same time, but one got bummed out about something, and the other preferred to watch the Mayweather fight somewhere. But, the point is that there has been more folk coming around. That's nice enough, but there are only two people who trip, and with whom I have tripped, thus far. One wants a weekly trip now, and the other wants a monthly psychedelic get-together. The guy is 50 something, and the woman (unrelated to the guy) is 65, in case you young'uns are wondering what happens to us elders. He paints and just won 3rd place for one of his pieces at a show, she is an art therapist. I probably will go out to the Miami art community next time there is a happening, because it seems to be the venue that still embodies psychedelic types over, say, academics, mental health professionals, or New Agers even. Thanks for the boost!


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γνῶθι σαὐτόν - Gnothi Seauton - Know Thyself


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InvisibleCosmicJokeM
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Re: Being Alone [Re: MarkostheGnostic]
    #18847035 - 09/15/13 11:41 PM (10 years, 4 months ago)


My Grandmother in her eighties painted me this abstract awhile back



She still goes on these elder hostel workshops of sorts.

It makes sense that you're having more serendipitous experiences now that your routine has been shaken up, Discordia must approve :lol:


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Everything is better than it was the last time.  I'm good.

If we could look into each others hearts, and understand the unique challenges each of us faces, I think we would treat each other much more gently, with more love, patience, tolerance, and care.

It takes a lot of courage to go out there and radiate your essence.

I know you scared, you should ask us if we scared too.  If you was there, and we just knew you cared too.


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OfflineMarkostheGnostic
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Re: Being Alone [Re: CosmicJoke]
    #18848720 - 09/16/13 11:53 AM (10 years, 4 months ago)

That's a nice painting, and I'm not especially fond of abstracts. This has interesting features, good for her!

I spoke with a college friend whom I've reconnected with after almost 40 years. He shroomed with us w/o his wife some months ago (she is in recovery and can't). He's been retired for a year and a half, and asked me to visit him in Vero Beach, to go out and catch some live music at a bar. His wife just left to stay with her daughter who is about to give birth in NJ. I don't know my old friend too well after such a long hiatus. I do know that he dropped out of college, learned to drive a train, got addicted to meth and then to alcohol before he cleaned up. But the invitation didn't include my Lady. Hmmm. There's another guy I contacted after 25 years of absence, here in Miami. He is married but seems to want a wing-man to go to clubs, strip clubs. Now, when I have gone to strip clubs, even on 'X,' I went with my Lady. She got the attention of the stripper I wanted, and got a lap-dance to boot. But I greatly digress.

I'm not into stepping out on my Lady, I'm into her (pun included, not necessarily intended). The former colleague of 27 years who visited Saturday night with his brand new girlfriend, who wanted to attend an art show that I declined Friday night, is all gaga over her. New love! She probably doesn't know about the Asian massages he told me about recently. My former chiropractor with whom we socialized briefly, told me about an indiscretion he had with a former girlfriend-stripper. Now he avoids me, because when he realized that I don't cheat, he saw me as a threat - I know too much. I would never say anything to his wife, but I guess I'm uncomfortably too moral to hang with. I mean, if I'm going to lose my mind and grope a stripper while high on 'X,' I'm gonna do it in plain site of my Lady.

Some guys are obsessed with deep-sea fishing, some guys obsess about golf, I don't obsess, but I prefer deep conversations and shared non-ordinary realities, along with music that facilitates the trip. I suppose I'm gonna have to expand my preferences a bit if I'm gonna socialize more. I don't really know anybody doing alchemical experiments around here. :lol:


--------------------
γνῶθι σαὐτόν - Gnothi Seauton - Know Thyself


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InvisibleCosmicJokeM
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Re: Being Alone [Re: MarkostheGnostic]
    #18852356 - 09/17/13 04:24 AM (10 years, 4 months ago)

I'm not precisely sure what qualifies as an obsession versus an interest or hobby, though I'd suspect some of your acquaintances must blather on about theirs oblivious to your signals of disinterest :lol:  Perhaps you could meet up with other writers for camaraderie and support, we have all sorts of meetups like that here in PDX at coffee shops.... and it might be just what you need to get that book you've been working on published.


--------------------
Everything is better than it was the last time.  I'm good.

If we could look into each others hearts, and understand the unique challenges each of us faces, I think we would treat each other much more gently, with more love, patience, tolerance, and care.

It takes a lot of courage to go out there and radiate your essence.

I know you scared, you should ask us if we scared too.  If you was there, and we just knew you cared too.


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OfflineMarkostheGnostic
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Re: Being Alone [Re: CosmicJoke]
    #18853302 - 09/17/13 12:06 PM (10 years, 4 months ago)

Well, I don't actually demonstrate rudeness to people when they talk about their interests (when that actually happens), but I don't feign interest or enthusiasm. I CAN be a good listener, but it's not therapy, it's conversation, and the other party can tell if I'm really interested. Shoot, I'm losing interest in my own interests, which has really begun to worry me. A few years ago, for example, I got into plant alchemy, spagyrics. This is really becoming fairly common now. Anyway, I set about obtaining laboratory glassware. Synchronistically, a co-worker not even aware of my interest, presented me with two kits of organic chemistry glassware. I bought heat mantles, a vacuum pump, I studied up on advanced chemistry I never took, dug out chemistry equipment I kept from childhood, was buying and reading books on spagyrics, etc.. I thought I should buy this stuff while I was working, not really knowing that my work days were numbered, but perhaps intuiting that my position was gonna get scrapped. Now, I'm free, and the spirit of alchemical inquiry has left me. :confused:  I even bought herbs that correspond to planetary spirits, and their hours during the day and night, but...nothing. I'm not feeling it. Spagyrics is a form of magick that uses astrological principles, and correspondences, meditation and prayer, and laboratory techniques. I share these thoughts on certain FB groups.

Even the book thing. Why am I not moving ahead with this? I've just lost interest. I'm going through some kind of weird phase that has me kind of stuck. I hope that it's temporary because I should be jumping for joy. :shrug:


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InvisibleCosmicJokeM
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Re: Being Alone [Re: MarkostheGnostic]
    #18856471 - 09/18/13 01:02 AM (10 years, 4 months ago)

Well, maybe it's a myth that newly retired people are jumping for joy :shrug:  I suspect even in the best of circumstances there will be some sort of adjustment period where one might be a bit depressed. Maybe a low stress part time job or volunteering or something would help ease the transition?


--------------------
Everything is better than it was the last time.  I'm good.

If we could look into each others hearts, and understand the unique challenges each of us faces, I think we would treat each other much more gently, with more love, patience, tolerance, and care.

It takes a lot of courage to go out there and radiate your essence.

I know you scared, you should ask us if we scared too.  If you was there, and we just knew you cared too.


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OfflineMarkostheGnostic
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Re: Being Alone [Re: CosmicJoke]
    #18859775 - 09/18/13 06:56 PM (10 years, 4 months ago)

Good idea. I actually applied to a part-time child therapist position that a friend forwarded to me yesterday. Frankly, I think that ageism is a real thing. With my years of experience, I really am not gonna work for bupkis, and employers know this. I told Rose I was gonna apply, which she approved of, but a few minutes later, she said that she really didn't want me working evenings (even though with kids it would be early evenings I'm sure). I'm also not in a place where I just want to volunteer my time out of grandfatherly benevolence. We'll see. The ageism thing is a significant obstacle. But more oddly, even though it's always nice to make more money, if I don't need to, the motivation for working turns into 'I don't know what to do with myself' which is just pitiful. It's not like I'd be making so much extra money that I'd go shopping for a sexy new sports car. Hell, what's the point of that if I'm not out trolling for strippers? Working just to 'do' something with one's time is something I saw with an older retired counselor who came back to work for free before he started getting paid like $150/day. He said, "Look Mark, I don't have interests like you do." Of course, some of us think he enjoys the young girls a bit too much, so he DOES have "interests."

Desire keeps one in the game of life. I wonder what kept the Buddha in the game, except for his desire to teach, assuming he had transcended most desire. I used to think I'd take psychedelics every day like other supplements, once I reached retirement age. We all know we'd have to be eating an ounce at a time at the end of a week just to get any effects. The beach is the big attraction here. Meh. I haven't been in the ocean in 17 years! We only go at night to drink wine and watch the full moon rise. :shrug: I often think of something I believe Vivekananda [?] or Ramakrishna [?] said to his mom when he was young. I think it was in BE HERE NOW: "Take me out of this box of earth and sky!" She said "I can't," he said "I'm going!" Of course, this is to be taken as a transcendental quest, not suicidal ideation. :lol:


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Re: Being Alone [Re: MarkostheGnostic]
    #18860121 - 09/18/13 08:14 PM (10 years, 4 months ago)

I wasn't expecting you to greet people at the entrance of a department store merely for the sake of staying active. I know you're far too cerebral to make that work :lol:.  You are a compendium of knowledge, and you're going to have to find a way to share it to maintain interest.

You're right about ageism, it's a sad thing about our culture.  But since you can survive independently of working, you can take your time on finding the right fit without added pressure.  if you keep your eyes open, maybe there will be some synchronicity.

I'm not sure what you mean by grandfatherly benevolence for volunteering... Perhaps you're thinking of reading books to school children.. There's a lot out there and you'd have to explore the possibilities before you close that door, though ultimately I think your reward would be to open doors to socializing.... . although I can't precisely say where one should volunteer to meet more people to drop acid with,  unless it was volunteering at a new age or jam band festival :lol: (gnrm23 could probably set you up to volunteer at the Starwood Festival :lol: he once did for me --- I know you're skeptical about such festivities, but it was truly unforgettable to me).


--------------------
Everything is better than it was the last time.  I'm good.

If we could look into each others hearts, and understand the unique challenges each of us faces, I think we would treat each other much more gently, with more love, patience, tolerance, and care.

It takes a lot of courage to go out there and radiate your essence.

I know you scared, you should ask us if we scared too.  If you was there, and we just knew you cared too.


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Offlineincubis
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Re: Being Alone [Re: Eric573]
    #18865080 - 09/19/13 08:45 PM (10 years, 4 months ago)

Advice... here's my 2cents.  Find things to do that you're passionate about, have an open mind to meet people and actively engage friends.  You meet people having similar interests.  Friendships need nurturing, you have to keep watering it.


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