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Offlinecircastes
Big Questions Small Head
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Registered: 01/14/10
Posts: 8,781
Loc: straya Flag
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Re: Being Alone [Re: CosmicJoke]
    #18838449 - 09/13/13 07:52 PM (10 years, 4 months ago)

Yeah it's cool to recognize even at your weirdest moment, someone else has done it. I used to be really bad at socialising, extremely bad, it was so awkward, I thought no one ever got that bad, but yeah I saw this guy just like I was the other day. Eh. Just another brick on the wall...


--------------------
My solitude...
My shield...
My armour...

TESTED
WITH
FULL
FORCE


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OfflineMarkostheGnostic
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Registered: 12/09/99
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Re: Being Alone [Re: CosmicJoke]
    #18839375 - 09/13/13 11:30 PM (10 years, 4 months ago)

I think you'd better come visit us and make some of these important introductions!


--------------------
γνῶθι σαὐτόν - Gnothi Seauton - Know Thyself


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InvisibleCosmicJokeM
happy mutant
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Registered: 04/05/00
Posts: 10,848
Loc: Portland, OR
Re: Being Alone [Re: MarkostheGnostic]
    #18839518 - 09/14/13 12:01 AM (10 years, 4 months ago)

Quote:

MarkostheGnostic said:
I think you'd better come visit us and make some of these important introductions!




K, I'll be like the existential detectives in I <3 Hucakabees that introduce you to your alters who also struggle to find meaning in the repetition of their daily lives :lol:


--------------------
Everything is better than it was the last time.  I'm good.

If we could look into each others hearts, and understand the unique challenges each of us faces, I think we would treat each other much more gently, with more love, patience, tolerance, and care.

It takes a lot of courage to go out there and radiate your essence.

I know you scared, you should ask us if we scared too.  If you was there, and we just knew you cared too.


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OfflineUniversaleyeni
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Registered: 04/18/13
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Re: Being Alone [Re: CosmicJoke]
    #18840094 - 09/14/13 04:47 AM (10 years, 4 months ago)

When I started tripping many moons ago, I became extremely introverted. I felt no one could possibly understand all the different things I saw and felt.on my trips.I hated even going out in public just because I would be surrounded with people's indifference to what the universe really is. Let's just say Miami (like many major cities) is stocked.with indifference and sleepers.

I had a powerful trip some yrs ago in which I learned I was shutting out cosmic beauty, and the cure was to change immediately. I made it a point to greet people as I passed them either with a smile or words, and to be as kind and understanding as I coul d. I realized that regardless of the outside world, I was still me, and that is a wonderful thing.

Seeing myself in others helped me realize how we are built for survival, and as such, we will adapt...even if that means becoming callus and cold. We are fragile. Our personalities develop through our learaning process called life.

I don't expect to become best pals with every stranger I meet. But I started meeting more and more lovely people as soon as I opened my heart to the.possibilities.


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InvisibleCosmicJokeM
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Re: Being Alone [Re: Universaleyeni]
    #18840145 - 09/14/13 05:51 AM (10 years, 4 months ago)

Quote:

Universaleyeni said:
. Let's just say Miami (like many major cities) is stocked.with indifference and sleepers.





Mmmhmm, and my bet is Miami also 'stocks' more sensitive, awakened types than other places.... maybe not by percentage, but certainly in raw numbers, because there are 5.5 million people there... it's a hard number to fully comprehend... even if things are skewed heavily towards the materialistic compared to other places, that little fraction of enlightened people is still an epic truck ton of people compared to my small Ohioan hometown of 13,000 :shrug: even if you were to get a more feel good vibe from that small town  :ohwell:


--------------------
Everything is better than it was the last time.  I'm good.

If we could look into each others hearts, and understand the unique challenges each of us faces, I think we would treat each other much more gently, with more love, patience, tolerance, and care.

It takes a lot of courage to go out there and radiate your essence.

I know you scared, you should ask us if we scared too.  If you was there, and we just knew you cared too.


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OfflineUniversaleyeni
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Re: Being Alone [Re: CosmicJoke]
    #18840246 - 09/14/13 07:22 AM (10 years, 4 months ago)

I agree cosmic joke. You are absolutely right and that is very positive.

I never thought about it like that.

:cool:


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InvisibleCosmicJokeM
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Re: Being Alone [Re: Universaleyeni]
    #18841406 - 09/14/13 03:20 PM (10 years, 4 months ago)

Quote:

Universaleyeni said:
I agree cosmic joke. You are absolutely right and that is very positive.

I never thought about it like that.

:cool:






You tell me this town aint got no heart. well, well, well, you can never tell.
The sunny side of the street is dark. well, well, well, you can never tell.
Maybe thats cause its midnight, in the dark of the moon besides.

Maybe the dark is from your eyes, maybe the dark is from your eyes,
Maybe the dark is from your eyes, maybe the dark is from your eyes,
Maybe the dark is from your eyes, maybe the dark is from your eyes,
You know you got such dark eyes!

Nothin shakin on shakedown street. used to be the heart of town.
Dont tell me this town aint got no heart. you just gotta poke around.


--------------------
Everything is better than it was the last time.  I'm good.

If we could look into each others hearts, and understand the unique challenges each of us faces, I think we would treat each other much more gently, with more love, patience, tolerance, and care.

It takes a lot of courage to go out there and radiate your essence.

I know you scared, you should ask us if we scared too.  If you was there, and we just knew you cared too.


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OfflineUniversaleyeni
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Re: Being Alone [Re: CosmicJoke]
    #18843738 - 09/15/13 08:55 AM (10 years, 4 months ago)

Nice :thumbup:  :gd_icon:


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Offlinezzripz
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Registered: 12/23/08
Posts: 8,292
Loc: Manchester, UK
Last seen: 4 years, 7 months
Re: Being Alone [Re: circastes]
    #18843787 - 09/15/13 09:15 AM (10 years, 4 months ago)

Quote:

circastes said:
We are certainly a different bunch on Shroomery. I spend most of my time in solitude and my biggest interest is rainforests.




... :smile:))) One of the most beautiful posts I have ever read!


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OfflineMarkostheGnostic
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Re: Being Alone [Re: CosmicJoke]
    #18844389 - 09/15/13 12:28 PM (10 years, 4 months ago)

Quote:

CosmicJoke said:
Quote:

Universaleyeni said:
. Let's just say Miami (like many major cities) is stocked.with indifference and sleepers.





Mmmhmm, and my bet is Miami also 'stocks' more sensitive, awakened types than other places.... maybe not by percentage, but certainly in raw numbers, because there are 5.5 million people there... it's a hard number to fully comprehend... even if things are skewed heavily towards the materialistic compared to other places, that little fraction of enlightened people is still an epic truck ton of people compared to my small Ohioan hometown of 13,000 :shrug: even if you were to get a more feel good vibe from that small town  :ohwell:





Oddly enough, since retiring, I have had more visitors to our home in the past two months than during the past two years. Just last night, the last-standing original TRUST Specialist (we were 2 of 13 the began the program that I just left after 27 years) came over with his new girlfriend. Two other former co-workers were coming over at the same time, but one got bummed out about something, and the other preferred to watch the Mayweather fight somewhere. But, the point is that there has been more folk coming around. That's nice enough, but there are only two people who trip, and with whom I have tripped, thus far. One wants a weekly trip now, and the other wants a monthly psychedelic get-together. The guy is 50 something, and the woman (unrelated to the guy) is 65, in case you young'uns are wondering what happens to us elders. He paints and just won 3rd place for one of his pieces at a show, she is an art therapist. I probably will go out to the Miami art community next time there is a happening, because it seems to be the venue that still embodies psychedelic types over, say, academics, mental health professionals, or New Agers even. Thanks for the boost!


--------------------
γνῶθι σαὐτόν - Gnothi Seauton - Know Thyself


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InvisibleCosmicJokeM
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Re: Being Alone [Re: MarkostheGnostic]
    #18847035 - 09/15/13 11:41 PM (10 years, 4 months ago)


My Grandmother in her eighties painted me this abstract awhile back



She still goes on these elder hostel workshops of sorts.

It makes sense that you're having more serendipitous experiences now that your routine has been shaken up, Discordia must approve :lol:


--------------------
Everything is better than it was the last time.  I'm good.

If we could look into each others hearts, and understand the unique challenges each of us faces, I think we would treat each other much more gently, with more love, patience, tolerance, and care.

It takes a lot of courage to go out there and radiate your essence.

I know you scared, you should ask us if we scared too.  If you was there, and we just knew you cared too.


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OfflineMarkostheGnostic
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Re: Being Alone [Re: CosmicJoke]
    #18848720 - 09/16/13 11:53 AM (10 years, 4 months ago)

That's a nice painting, and I'm not especially fond of abstracts. This has interesting features, good for her!

I spoke with a college friend whom I've reconnected with after almost 40 years. He shroomed with us w/o his wife some months ago (she is in recovery and can't). He's been retired for a year and a half, and asked me to visit him in Vero Beach, to go out and catch some live music at a bar. His wife just left to stay with her daughter who is about to give birth in NJ. I don't know my old friend too well after such a long hiatus. I do know that he dropped out of college, learned to drive a train, got addicted to meth and then to alcohol before he cleaned up. But the invitation didn't include my Lady. Hmmm. There's another guy I contacted after 25 years of absence, here in Miami. He is married but seems to want a wing-man to go to clubs, strip clubs. Now, when I have gone to strip clubs, even on 'X,' I went with my Lady. She got the attention of the stripper I wanted, and got a lap-dance to boot. But I greatly digress.

I'm not into stepping out on my Lady, I'm into her (pun included, not necessarily intended). The former colleague of 27 years who visited Saturday night with his brand new girlfriend, who wanted to attend an art show that I declined Friday night, is all gaga over her. New love! She probably doesn't know about the Asian massages he told me about recently. My former chiropractor with whom we socialized briefly, told me about an indiscretion he had with a former girlfriend-stripper. Now he avoids me, because when he realized that I don't cheat, he saw me as a threat - I know too much. I would never say anything to his wife, but I guess I'm uncomfortably too moral to hang with. I mean, if I'm going to lose my mind and grope a stripper while high on 'X,' I'm gonna do it in plain site of my Lady.

Some guys are obsessed with deep-sea fishing, some guys obsess about golf, I don't obsess, but I prefer deep conversations and shared non-ordinary realities, along with music that facilitates the trip. I suppose I'm gonna have to expand my preferences a bit if I'm gonna socialize more. I don't really know anybody doing alchemical experiments around here. :lol:


--------------------
γνῶθι σαὐτόν - Gnothi Seauton - Know Thyself


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InvisibleCosmicJokeM
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Loc: Portland, OR
Re: Being Alone [Re: MarkostheGnostic]
    #18852356 - 09/17/13 04:24 AM (10 years, 4 months ago)

I'm not precisely sure what qualifies as an obsession versus an interest or hobby, though I'd suspect some of your acquaintances must blather on about theirs oblivious to your signals of disinterest :lol:  Perhaps you could meet up with other writers for camaraderie and support, we have all sorts of meetups like that here in PDX at coffee shops.... and it might be just what you need to get that book you've been working on published.


--------------------
Everything is better than it was the last time.  I'm good.

If we could look into each others hearts, and understand the unique challenges each of us faces, I think we would treat each other much more gently, with more love, patience, tolerance, and care.

It takes a lot of courage to go out there and radiate your essence.

I know you scared, you should ask us if we scared too.  If you was there, and we just knew you cared too.


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OfflineMarkostheGnostic
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Re: Being Alone [Re: CosmicJoke]
    #18853302 - 09/17/13 12:06 PM (10 years, 4 months ago)

Well, I don't actually demonstrate rudeness to people when they talk about their interests (when that actually happens), but I don't feign interest or enthusiasm. I CAN be a good listener, but it's not therapy, it's conversation, and the other party can tell if I'm really interested. Shoot, I'm losing interest in my own interests, which has really begun to worry me. A few years ago, for example, I got into plant alchemy, spagyrics. This is really becoming fairly common now. Anyway, I set about obtaining laboratory glassware. Synchronistically, a co-worker not even aware of my interest, presented me with two kits of organic chemistry glassware. I bought heat mantles, a vacuum pump, I studied up on advanced chemistry I never took, dug out chemistry equipment I kept from childhood, was buying and reading books on spagyrics, etc.. I thought I should buy this stuff while I was working, not really knowing that my work days were numbered, but perhaps intuiting that my position was gonna get scrapped. Now, I'm free, and the spirit of alchemical inquiry has left me. :confused:  I even bought herbs that correspond to planetary spirits, and their hours during the day and night, but...nothing. I'm not feeling it. Spagyrics is a form of magick that uses astrological principles, and correspondences, meditation and prayer, and laboratory techniques. I share these thoughts on certain FB groups.

Even the book thing. Why am I not moving ahead with this? I've just lost interest. I'm going through some kind of weird phase that has me kind of stuck. I hope that it's temporary because I should be jumping for joy. :shrug:


--------------------
γνῶθι σαὐτόν - Gnothi Seauton - Know Thyself


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InvisibleCosmicJokeM
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Re: Being Alone [Re: MarkostheGnostic]
    #18856471 - 09/18/13 01:02 AM (10 years, 4 months ago)

Well, maybe it's a myth that newly retired people are jumping for joy :shrug:  I suspect even in the best of circumstances there will be some sort of adjustment period where one might be a bit depressed. Maybe a low stress part time job or volunteering or something would help ease the transition?


--------------------
Everything is better than it was the last time.  I'm good.

If we could look into each others hearts, and understand the unique challenges each of us faces, I think we would treat each other much more gently, with more love, patience, tolerance, and care.

It takes a lot of courage to go out there and radiate your essence.

I know you scared, you should ask us if we scared too.  If you was there, and we just knew you cared too.


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OfflineMarkostheGnostic
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Re: Being Alone [Re: CosmicJoke]
    #18859775 - 09/18/13 06:56 PM (10 years, 4 months ago)

Good idea. I actually applied to a part-time child therapist position that a friend forwarded to me yesterday. Frankly, I think that ageism is a real thing. With my years of experience, I really am not gonna work for bupkis, and employers know this. I told Rose I was gonna apply, which she approved of, but a few minutes later, she said that she really didn't want me working evenings (even though with kids it would be early evenings I'm sure). I'm also not in a place where I just want to volunteer my time out of grandfatherly benevolence. We'll see. The ageism thing is a significant obstacle. But more oddly, even though it's always nice to make more money, if I don't need to, the motivation for working turns into 'I don't know what to do with myself' which is just pitiful. It's not like I'd be making so much extra money that I'd go shopping for a sexy new sports car. Hell, what's the point of that if I'm not out trolling for strippers? Working just to 'do' something with one's time is something I saw with an older retired counselor who came back to work for free before he started getting paid like $150/day. He said, "Look Mark, I don't have interests like you do." Of course, some of us think he enjoys the young girls a bit too much, so he DOES have "interests."

Desire keeps one in the game of life. I wonder what kept the Buddha in the game, except for his desire to teach, assuming he had transcended most desire. I used to think I'd take psychedelics every day like other supplements, once I reached retirement age. We all know we'd have to be eating an ounce at a time at the end of a week just to get any effects. The beach is the big attraction here. Meh. I haven't been in the ocean in 17 years! We only go at night to drink wine and watch the full moon rise. :shrug: I often think of something I believe Vivekananda [?] or Ramakrishna [?] said to his mom when he was young. I think it was in BE HERE NOW: "Take me out of this box of earth and sky!" She said "I can't," he said "I'm going!" Of course, this is to be taken as a transcendental quest, not suicidal ideation. :lol:


--------------------
γνῶθι σαὐτόν - Gnothi Seauton - Know Thyself


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InvisibleCosmicJokeM
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Re: Being Alone [Re: MarkostheGnostic]
    #18860121 - 09/18/13 08:14 PM (10 years, 4 months ago)

I wasn't expecting you to greet people at the entrance of a department store merely for the sake of staying active. I know you're far too cerebral to make that work :lol:.  You are a compendium of knowledge, and you're going to have to find a way to share it to maintain interest.

You're right about ageism, it's a sad thing about our culture.  But since you can survive independently of working, you can take your time on finding the right fit without added pressure.  if you keep your eyes open, maybe there will be some synchronicity.

I'm not sure what you mean by grandfatherly benevolence for volunteering... Perhaps you're thinking of reading books to school children.. There's a lot out there and you'd have to explore the possibilities before you close that door, though ultimately I think your reward would be to open doors to socializing.... . although I can't precisely say where one should volunteer to meet more people to drop acid with,  unless it was volunteering at a new age or jam band festival :lol: (gnrm23 could probably set you up to volunteer at the Starwood Festival :lol: he once did for me --- I know you're skeptical about such festivities, but it was truly unforgettable to me).


--------------------
Everything is better than it was the last time.  I'm good.

If we could look into each others hearts, and understand the unique challenges each of us faces, I think we would treat each other much more gently, with more love, patience, tolerance, and care.

It takes a lot of courage to go out there and radiate your essence.

I know you scared, you should ask us if we scared too.  If you was there, and we just knew you cared too.


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Offlineincubis
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Registered: 10/30/10
Posts: 146
Loc: Dreamland
Last seen: 3 years, 3 months
Re: Being Alone [Re: Eric573]
    #18865080 - 09/19/13 08:45 PM (10 years, 4 months ago)

Advice... here's my 2cents.  Find things to do that you're passionate about, have an open mind to meet people and actively engage friends.  You meet people having similar interests.  Friendships need nurturing, you have to keep watering it.


--------------------
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


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