|
Eric573

Registered: 07/22/13
Posts: 145
Last seen: 6 years, 8 months
|
Being Alone
#18832272 - 09/12/13 12:33 PM (10 years, 4 months ago) |
|
|
I've spent most of my time alone. Sometimes I wish I had more friends.. especially ones that have similar interests as me. I don't want to go chat about nothing to strangers, which seems to be the most successful way to make friends. So many things people do have always seemed entirely uninteresting to me, even as a child. I'm wondering what you people well-informed on spirituality think about this. Do you generally consider small talk as unconscious behavior? Has your disinterest in unimportant activities ever made you feel like an outcast? Any advice?
-------------------- -Eric
|
blueconfusion
Strangest



Registered: 12/14/12
Posts: 1,727
Last seen: 4 days, 18 hours
|
Re: Being Alone [Re: Eric573]
#18832344 - 09/12/13 12:54 PM (10 years, 4 months ago) |
|
|
I have spent months on end totally isolated only going out to get groceries and even avoiding that and going hungry at times just because I didn't want to interact even in a non conversational way I just didn't want to see people. I lived on a mountain and found more enjoyment interacting with nature than people. I know this distance I know this disgust with ignorance. when I finally did move back to "civilization" it took me a long time to be comfortable and even be able to tolerate them. Im still not a social person but I can play nice now and be sociable when it warrants the need.
|
blueconfusion
Strangest



Registered: 12/14/12
Posts: 1,727
Last seen: 4 days, 18 hours
|
|
Honestly small talk and the whole facade we play as humans makes me uncomfortable because I just don't care I too as a young child spent most of my time alone I grew up in the country and was an only child life is way to broad of an experience to talk about the weather and what whoever is doing but the psychedelic experience spirituality and mysticism are schisms in our world its hard to find ppl to relate to thats why I say fuck them all
|
crkhd
☾☼☽

Registered: 12/28/08
Posts: 2,401
Loc: A human sphere enfolding ...
Last seen: 8 months, 8 days
|
|
Break the shackles within your Self my friend, it is no other than your Self who is making these things obstacles instead of challenges.
When you are abiding at Home in your Body, then conversation with strangers will be free-flowing and you will not worry about opening or closing a conversation, it will just happen.
Everyone I meet is my Friend and they are Me, my face superimposed onto their own, for the duration of interaction and then some.
The illusion of disappearance is unreal and see through it. Just as we might close our eyes as babies and pretend other people do not exist for a while to be safe within our Self, so we close the doors of Mind so as to evoke safety.
This is a throat chakra issue, look into throat chakra blockages and work from there, the answer will be found therein or if not, a pointer. When you feel at ease in your Self, your surroundings are naturally easy.
First thing is first: control your Feet. They walk you to places. Stop using them to walk you to idiots and start choosing Wise Conversation, Right Speech. Purify your own Speech and you shall encounter Pure Speech everywhere you go.
You are in a house of mirrors and every mirror sees your Face, so if you wake up and want to see angry face, angry face will talk to you, if you look for happy face, happy face is waiting too. Above all look for Divine Loving Face and you shall find your Saving Grace, that is the object and goal of the Human Race, ja feel?
-------------------- "Everything there is, and all that there is, is a Pattern of unspeakable proportion. The Pattern contains everything that is, completely fixed in succession, all the minimal particles interconnected in every way that is. Every way that is is not every conceivable way, because not everything that can be conceived is manifest in the pattern." "THE Human, you, is a miniscule but essential part of that pattern. In it lies complete fulfillment. It will never become something it is not, but it will never need to be anything else." - Wiccan_Seeker "If boring drudgery was the way of the universe, everything would have killed itself long ago." - Spacerific
|
Eric573

Registered: 07/22/13
Posts: 145
Last seen: 6 years, 8 months
|
Re: Being Alone [Re: crkhd]
#18832580 - 09/12/13 01:56 PM (10 years, 4 months ago) |
|
|
That was a highly enjoyable read crkhd. Not to mention exactly the advice I was looking for. Truly helpful. Thank you very much.
|
eve69
--=..Did Adam and ...?=--



Registered: 04/30/03
Posts: 3,910
Loc: isle de la muerte
Last seen: 24 days, 16 hours
|
Re: Being Alone [Re: Eric573]
#18832805 - 09/12/13 02:55 PM (10 years, 4 months ago) |
|
|
Jesus, I have one friend and my wife - that's it. I spend the majority of my time by myself. I have found ways to enjoy the time. Guitar and meditation mostly. Don't worry about it. People are all individual. Friends are mostly trouble.
-------------------- ...or something
|
circastes
Big Questions Small Head


Registered: 01/14/10
Posts: 8,781
Loc: straya
Last seen: 7 years, 8 months
|
Re: Being Alone [Re: eve69]
#18832868 - 09/12/13 03:14 PM (10 years, 4 months ago) |
|
|
We are certainly a different bunch on Shroomery. I spend most of my time in solitude and my biggest interest is rainforests.
-------------------- My solitude... My shield... My armour... TESTED WITH FULL FORCE
|
Kickle
Wanderer


Registered: 12/16/06
Posts: 17,852
Last seen: 12 hours, 18 minutes
|
Re: Being Alone [Re: Eric573]
#18833259 - 09/12/13 04:46 PM (10 years, 4 months ago) |
|
|
Quote:
Eric573 said: I've spent most of my time alone. Sometimes I wish I had more friends.. especially ones that have similar interests as me. I don't want to go chat about nothing to strangers, which seems to be the most successful way to make friends. So many things people do have always seemed entirely uninteresting to me, even as a child. I'm wondering what you people well-informed on spirituality think about this. Do you generally consider small talk as unconscious behavior? Has your disinterest in unimportant activities ever made you feel like an outcast? Any advice?
I've watched my girlfriend build 3 separate social networks since we've graduated college. Her first was through her older brothers fiance. They started training for a marathon together and that quickly led to this woman introducing her to other runners and on and on it snowballed. Each person she met led to two more. Then she paired it down to the ones she wanted to keep contact with. This was the second social networks beginning. These women then created a book club and meet once a week, rotating who hosts, and each is responsible for bringing some food and beverage. New members get added from time to time and so the circle grows.
The third is through the internet. She knits. A lot. And she talks with other knitters, sends them items, holds raffles, etc. And she gets tons of mail back. Its nice really. On a recent trip out of the States we met up with one of these online contacts and were treated to a wonderful night out by her. So a lot can come from online relationships too.
This all is within her interests and started from 1 semi-aquaintance. Me on the other hand, I've lost contact with most my friends because I don't call, I don't write, I don't visit, I don't invite. If I stumble into them I will however give them a huge heartfelt hug. She learned social networking from her family. I learned isolationist tactics. In the end IMO that's the thick and thin of it. We learn how to interact with others pretty early. And while its not set in stone it is challenging for some to learn those skills, especially when already isolated. Because even if you intellectually know what to do, there is still an emotional factor. And someone who grew up socializing is going to have a comfort that is only learned through placing yourself in those situations for prolonged periods of time and often feeling uncomfortable for much of it.
-------------------- Why shouldn't the truth be stranger than fiction? Fiction, after all, has to make sense. -- Mark Twain
|
FishOilTheKid
Ascended


Registered: 11/14/10
Posts: 5,401
Last seen: 1 day, 21 hours
|
Re: Being Alone [Re: Kickle]
#18833373 - 09/12/13 05:17 PM (10 years, 4 months ago) |
|
|
Quote:
I learned isolationist tactics.
|
blueconfusion
Strangest



Registered: 12/14/12
Posts: 1,727
Last seen: 4 days, 18 hours
|
|
I find myself in that isolationist realm I choose to not interact I only do out of necessity I really just find myself happier alone with my wife and children it is my happy place.
|
circastes
Big Questions Small Head


Registered: 01/14/10
Posts: 8,781
Loc: straya
Last seen: 7 years, 8 months
|
|
No kidding though I'm fucking high as a kite and I haven't ingested a thing, listening to Jimi Hendrix just kind of dancing around the house, about to play QuakeLIVE really, really fast. It's awesome. My life is awesome.
-------------------- My solitude... My shield... My armour... TESTED WITH FULL FORCE
|
Psilopsychosis



Registered: 07/06/13
Posts: 717
Loc:
|
|
Id say that friends are great. Happiness is meant to be shared.
That being said I've been much the loner this past year. In August I only chilled with three different people.
Its all good though, I've got some friends inside my head.
|
MarkostheGnostic
Elder



Registered: 12/09/99
Posts: 14,279
Loc: South Florida
Last seen: 3 years, 2 days
|
Re: Being Alone [Re: Eric573]
#18834384 - 09/12/13 09:06 PM (10 years, 4 months ago) |
|
|
Social isolation has been my entire life. I have my wife, and a few occasional acquaintances. I have no social life and no outlet for meeting people. I've looked into MeetUps, but it hasn't worked out. I should come to terms with the fact that I am, as my wife says, unusual. I read that as weird, objectively speaking. I'm not a family guy, so I don't meet people through their kids. Now I'm old enough to be a grandfather, but for Christ's sake do not whip out pictures of your grandchildren. Every grandparent says exactly the same proud shit about their 'genius' grandchildren. I'd rather hear that you've got a porn star granddaughter at this point. Ageism, or the 'generation gap' really IS a problem. People after their 20s, during the 30s, 40s, 50s and 60s become less and less interesting, less and less interested in the things that would make them interesting. People stop exploring, philosophizing, wondering. They just want to be comfortable. My old tripping/camping buddy said he wanted to be "fat, dumb, and happy." His wife discouraged further friendship with me. I was his best man at their wedding. Never saw either of his kids, now they're grown. I realize that my life-style is completely contrary to those of my friends who became family guys, and I could never discuss the little things that become so important to child-rearing. That stuff is worse than chit-chat.
-------------------- γνῶθι σαὐτόν - Gnothi Seauton - Know Thyself
|
CosmicJoke
happy mutant


Registered: 04/05/00
Posts: 10,848
Loc: Portland, OR
|
|
Quote:
Eric573 said: I've spent most of my time alone. Sometimes I wish I had more friends.. especially ones that have similar interests as me. I don't want to go chat about nothing to strangers, which seems to be the most successful way to make friends. So many things people do have always seemed entirely uninteresting to me, even as a child. I'm wondering what you people well-informed on spirituality think about this. Do you generally consider small talk as unconscious behavior? Has your disinterest in unimportant activities ever made you feel like an outcast? Any advice?
Throughout my life, I've met some truly fuckin' extraodinary people... My only advice, which I once read in Be Here Now, is to extricate yourself from the drama, including playing the role of the outcast. Good people are out there, surround yourself with those with 'beginner's mind', anyone looking for education is a good start IMHO.
MarkostheGnostic said: I'd rather hear that you've got a porn star granddaughter at this point.
bwahahaha
-------------------- Everything is better than it was the last time. I'm good. If we could look into each others hearts, and understand the unique challenges each of us faces, I think we would treat each other much more gently, with more love, patience, tolerance, and care. It takes a lot of courage to go out there and radiate your essence. I know you scared, you should ask us if we scared too. If you was there, and we just knew you cared too.
|
Eric573

Registered: 07/22/13
Posts: 145
Last seen: 6 years, 8 months
|
|
Quote:
MarkostheGnostic said: People after their 20s, during the 30s, 40s, 50s and 60s become less and less interesting, less and less interested in the things that would make them interesting. People stop exploring, philosophizing, wondering. They just want to be comfortable.
Hah..I'm only 19.. so I was hoping people got more interesting through age. Good to know there's no reason to wait.
-------------------- -Eric
|
mt cleverest
clevendafodil

Registered: 08/19/12
Posts: 2,348
|
Re: Being Alone [Re: Eric573] 1
#18837113 - 09/13/13 02:07 PM (10 years, 4 months ago) |
|
|
I often feel like a loner because Im disinterested in social norms. psychedelics will do that to you. I have a very hard time relating to people who are super invested in things that I know are meaningless. these days Im only interested in truth.
but I think a preference for solitude is a stage that most spiritual seekers go through. part of it I think is that us spiritual loners have become aware enough or sensitive enough to see through, not only other egos, but our own ego too. at which point we see socializing as one big lie or game that we dont want to play anymore. it just doesnt feel right, so we pull put.
in being by yourself, there is no image of yourself to hold up. holding up an image of yourself is tiring after awhile. we become dePRESSED from the weight of this fictitious thing. and we come to realize that being alone is a release and the closest thing to 'the rest' that enlightened teachers always talk about. unfortunately I think true enlightenment is expereincing that rest in a public.
|
circastes
Big Questions Small Head


Registered: 01/14/10
Posts: 8,781
Loc: straya
Last seen: 7 years, 8 months
|
|
I think if you're a solitary spirit or truth seeker you can't really compromise either; you either go full steam with your investigations or you go out and you find some friends. Any toiling around will make you very lonesome.
-------------------- My solitude... My shield... My armour... TESTED WITH FULL FORCE
|
Middleman

Registered: 07/11/99
Posts: 8,399
|
|
War is cruel. There is no use trying to reform it. But the crueler it is, the sooner it’s over.
General W.T. Sherman
|
MarkostheGnostic
Elder



Registered: 12/09/99
Posts: 14,279
Loc: South Florida
Last seen: 3 years, 2 days
|
|
Quote:
CosmicJoke said:
Quote:
Eric573 said: I've spent most of my time alone. Sometimes I wish I had more friends.. especially ones that have similar interests as me. I don't want to go chat about nothing to strangers, which seems to be the most successful way to make friends. So many things people do have always seemed entirely uninteresting to me, even as a child. I'm wondering what you people well-informed on spirituality think about this. Do you generally consider small talk as unconscious behavior? Has your disinterest in unimportant activities ever made you feel like an outcast? Any advice?
Throughout my life, I've met some truly fuckin' extraodinary people... My only advice, which I once read in Be Here Now, is to extricate yourself from the drama, including playing the role of the outcast. Good people are out there, surround yourself with those with 'beginner's mind', anyone looking for education is a good start IMHO.
MarkostheGnostic said: I'd rather hear that you've got a porn star granddaughter at this point.
bwahahaha
Well, I've never intentionally played the role of the outcast, I'm just conflicted by a sort of ambivert need. That is to say, I'd like to have a social life, which is an extravert behavior, with a group of introverts. It just runs contrary to the nature of introversion. I read an interesting article today that had the illustration below.
It seems that the extraordinary people I met were mostly university professors. By the time I was done with my 10 years of university life, I probably should have sought an academic position, but I followed my heart, which led me to a rather isolated life in an anti-intellectual place, and because the state wouldn't license me as what I schooled for, I began working in middle schools where people either went to college just to get a teaching job, or sought the principal-> administrator track. My heart had been deceived, but by the time that marriage failed, I was almost a decade into a career, and a decade removed from academia. Nothing to do but turn lemons into lemonade. Had I left, however, I would've never met my Rose. But she is even more introverted than I am! We were invited down to an art gallery, and I just got a phone call to remind me (which I didn't take). I'd bet my bippy you'd go! http://www.bacfl.org Given the choice, I'd rather meet my old colleague and his new girlfriend in the privacy of our home tomorrow.
I truly haven't met but one person in 30 years who had "beginner's mind," but in a Hindu idiom. He's also introverted, and he lives a good distance south of us. It's odd when the spouse of an old married couple is not into her husband's trip, and doesn't want to socialize on that basis. I just have to accept my karma and stop griping about it. 
-------------------- γνῶθι σαὐτόν - Gnothi Seauton - Know Thyself
|
CosmicJoke
happy mutant


Registered: 04/05/00
Posts: 10,848
Loc: Portland, OR
|
|
Well, let's say there are 5,500,000 people in Miami metro, and 1% of them are your personality type... That's 55,000 highly introverted, intellectual types residing in Miami. Now let's say 12% of you have tried LSD, that's 6,600... and 10% of that 6,600 consider it to have profoundly impacted their lives, and that would be 660.. Subtracting you and your wife, my guess is there are no less than 658 other people in Miami who are presently complaining about how shallow and insipid their fellow Miamians are, skipping out on invitations to art galleries, and opting instead to spend their time imbibing entheogens and pursuing their esoteric interests. By the sheer size of the place, statistically it just has to be illogical to think that you're all alone down there. It only seems that way.
-------------------- Everything is better than it was the last time. I'm good. If we could look into each others hearts, and understand the unique challenges each of us faces, I think we would treat each other much more gently, with more love, patience, tolerance, and care. It takes a lot of courage to go out there and radiate your essence. I know you scared, you should ask us if we scared too. If you was there, and we just knew you cared too.
|
|