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InvisibleCyclohexylamine
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Re: My world has officially crumbled... [Re: koods]
    #18835962 - 09/13/13 08:14 AM (10 years, 4 months ago)

Quote:

koods said:
If you're anything like me, you will eventually regret doing things out of spite, or even not being a nice as you could have been. You know that the relationship is over, the best you can do is be a good person, even if she chooses not to be. Give her the ring back. It is doing you no good having it. It will help you forget about the relationship if it isn't around to remind you and it will help you feel good about yourself when you aren't because you didn't keep it in spite - that you could get above that.




Agree with koods :wink:

Quote:


I hope it's clear I'm just having a lot of turmoil inside me.  I know she isn't the woman for me.  I know this in my GUT.  I know it was the most poisonous relationship one could imagine.  I know this.  I know that this will be better for me.  I know that I will become complete and happy on my own and be glad and thankful for my experiences....and at that point, I know there are incredible woman out there that would be just right for me and make me so happy (and this I know for sure :wink: :heart:).

I'm just struggling with having an empty house.  My kids are gone.  My "family" is no more.  It's a lot to take in.





Yeah it's definitely hard.. Just take one day at a time and believe me when I say that looking back one year later you will be so happy with the decisions you made. As koods said, you have a great head on your shoulders, all this will do is make you stronger if you chose to let it. 
Just remember it was a poisonous relationship, and one you are lucky to be out of. As much as it hurts. You know about my past serious relationship and the pain it caused - it was terribly poisonous but it still hurt incredibly. But of course looking back now I am so much happier. It just takes time..


--------------------
Yes this is tymo - I just changed my name

Have you ever had a dream that you were so sure was real? What if you were unable to awake from that dream? How would you know the difference between that dream world and the real world?


There is NOTHING better than feeling that warm dissociative fuzz creeping up your body from IM K
Something abut that anaesthetic rush... :inlove:

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InvisibleMasked
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Re: My world has officially crumbled... [Re: Cyclohexylamine]
    #18843312 - 09/15/13 03:28 AM (10 years, 4 months ago)

My grandma just died at the hospicw house an hour ago :sad:

Im just at work.  Another couple hours to go.


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OfflineRewindicus
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Re: My world has officially crumbled... [Re: Masked]
    #18843423 - 09/15/13 05:16 AM (10 years, 4 months ago)

Shit man rough. The nights almost over. Can you get a few days off for berevement?


--------------------
“Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind.”- Dr. Seuss

"Too much of a good thing, can be wonderful!" - Mae West

"If you have nothing nice to say about anyone, come sit next to me."
- Alice Roosevelt Longworth





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Onlinekoods
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Re: My world has officially crumbled... [Re: Rewindicus]
    #18843442 - 09/15/13 05:36 AM (10 years, 4 months ago)

The shit always comes in storms, it seems. Sorry about everything masked.


--------------------
NotSheekle said
“if I believed she was 16 I would become unattracted to her”


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InvisibleCyclohexylamine
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Re: My world has officially crumbled... [Re: Masked]
    #18845449 - 09/15/13 05:30 PM (10 years, 4 months ago)

Quote:

koods said:
The shit always comes in storms, it seems. Sorry about everything masked.




I agree.

Quote:

Masked said:
My grandma just died at the hospicw house an hour ago :sad:

Im just at work.  Another couple hours to go.




:hug:


--------------------
Yes this is tymo - I just changed my name

Have you ever had a dream that you were so sure was real? What if you were unable to awake from that dream? How would you know the difference between that dream world and the real world?


There is NOTHING better than feeling that warm dissociative fuzz creeping up your body from IM K
Something abut that anaesthetic rush... :inlove:

Qualitative Research Chemical Effects and Experiences
The Wonderful World of Methoxetamine
The 3-Meo-PCP Chapters, Part One


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InvisibleMasked
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Re: My world has officially crumbled... [Re: Cyclohexylamine]
    #18854883 - 09/17/13 06:42 PM (10 years, 4 months ago)

I couldn't get a hold of her all last night while I had the kids.  Needed to ask her something about our daughter.  It was really suspicious when she didn't respond and her phone would keep cutting off at different amounts of rings(her rejecting the call).

I try and bring her breakfast in the morning and to talk and she's not there.  Leave breakfast on door step.  Call cell again, can't hear it ringing inside.

Finally, late morning she gets ahold of me.  Tells me she just didn't want to talk to me(she doesn't have call display).  Then I told her that you know, we said we were going to maintain a healthy relationship for our kids...she didn't need to ignore me all night and all morning.  She says a half assed sorry and says, "yeah, sorry just being a little mood asshole".  Then the talk comes up again about how she's confused, I'm confused, but maybe we can work on things, etc.  She leads this on, but I'm wary...

I drive down to talk more about working on things and where to go from here, kind of thing.  And I say, "before we get into this talk.  I need to ask you straight out...were you with another man last night?".  She lies through her teeth about everything, from leaving her cell at home, to then shifting focus on me how "I never trust her".  She continues to lie through her teeth.

So I employ the same tactic.  My gut knew something was wrong.  Nothing would prepare me for what happened next.

I sat her down and looked her in the eyes and said, "I know you were dropped off this morning.  Ok...i need to be honest.  I know.  I need, I deserve for you to tell me the truth"  Her eyes start welling up, she looks overwhelmed and then says "yes, I was on a date", matter-o-factly.

After some more lying, she admits that another man was inside her last night :sad:  The mother of my child had another man fucking her last night.

So exactly 8 days since we had an incredibly intimate night...she has another man fucking her, pleasuring the mother of my child.

Exactly 5 days since I made the original post...she has another man fucking her, pleasuring the mother of my child.

GASDFjawpeuithgq3-ytAWDFQ20893YR98QWEFPAODHVF;klsFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK :sad:

She seems pretty truthful and convincing that it was a first date...i don't know if thats worse or not.  After the beans were spilled, she was angry and shrill with me.  Very defensive.  Started blaming me  "it's quite clear you didn't want to work on things, so I need to move on".  Nothing could be further from the truth...I've showed no such things.  I've been basically chasing her, even as she packs up and leaves, even as she has me paying support and even when she tells me she wants to see other men, which instigated the OP.  But all the while, it SEEMED to me like she was giving me hope on working on things.  This could be my flaw.  Sure, she's confused and maybe I read into things far to much.  Maybe I couldn't let her go when I should have. 

Which should have been long ago.

Now I have to go through this.  Just the way it happened...god I want to rip my hair out and drown in my puddle of tears right now.

I've never experienced the emotions I am now.  I'm a fucking wreck.  I want to die.  Though I won't...but I want to.  I can't get the image of her having a new strange man penetrating her...her moaning...and all the while, I was phoning and texting and she was ignoring me.  All the while, she keeps me in her "net", by giving me hope things will work out.  Or at least that's how I saw it.  So it could be my fault I saw that there.

She seems to show zero remorse.  And in a way, almost taking pleasure in my devastation. 

And the fact she lied SO convincingly.  She really went out of her way to make me believe her.  But all her excuses just weren't adding up.  I wonder if this truly is the first time.

But I also know, that doesn't matter.  This should be the nail in the coffin.  I NEED to move on.  She obviously is.  God, just pictured the scenario again...:sad: :angry:

I feel ruined, paralyzed.  I want to tell her how I wish I never met her, how she is the most horrible person I've ever had in my life and how I wish I left her long ago.  She's caused me nothing but pain for years and now has topped it off with the ultimate devastation cherry.  I don't tell her these things.  I invested SOOOO much into her...I didn't think she would move on from me in this fashion.  I never thought it would come to this :sad:

I told her I can't be her friend anymore.  I told her I hope we can remain civil for the kids, but I need to cut the string somehow and move on...probably thinking about her with him almost every day for a long time to come.  I don't know how to cope.

Wasn't it nice of me to leave breakfast and a coffee for her on her step, so when she got dropped off after a morning of being fucked, it was waiting for her? :frown:

I'm so destroyed.  I won't be coming back for awhile shroomery.  I'm alone.  so alone...I'm tired of spreading my negativity around here.


--------------------
.


Edited by Masked (09/17/13 06:55 PM)


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OfflineRewindicus
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Re: My world has officially crumbled... [Re: Masked]
    #18855019 - 09/17/13 07:11 PM (10 years, 4 months ago)

Fuck.


Sorry man. Theres not enough sorry`s.

It certainly does sound like the nail on the coffin man. Move on.

It sounds like maybe she did this as a way of forcing you to move on? Its a cold way of doimg things but thats just how it Is an it sounds like shes certainly ready to move on.


Your a good guy and deserve better. Dont be the battered husband. Be the most kick ass dad you can be. Lick your wounds. Try not to be nasty. And move on.

Stick it out. Things will get better.

Your always welcome here man.


--------------------
“Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind.”- Dr. Seuss

"Too much of a good thing, can be wonderful!" - Mae West

"If you have nothing nice to say about anyone, come sit next to me."
- Alice Roosevelt Longworth





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InvisibleSynthe
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Re: My world has officially crumbled... [Re: Masked]
    #18855066 - 09/17/13 07:22 PM (10 years, 4 months ago)

Jesus Moses Allah Buddah fucking christ.

This one goes out to you, man. Hell, it's the fucking theme song to your past week or two.



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InvisibleMasked
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Re: My world has officially crumbled... [Re: Synthe]
    #18860789 - 09/18/13 10:41 PM (10 years, 4 months ago)

I'm sorry, I'm not intentionally ignoring everyone's great advice.  ALL of you have helped so much and it's great so many people are there for me.

I realize i've kind of let my emotions get carried away.  I'm still riding the nasty tidal wave, and I know it's ridiculous, so at least I'm aware.

It's just a breakup at the end of the day.  I could be dying from cancer or in a coma, or watching my 3 year old son getting brain surgery for a life threatening tumor.........just some examples to show that what I'm fretting over doesn't really matter in the grand scheme of life.

But I felt it necessary, and in some ways couldn't help it, to be taken away by this tidal wave of emotions.

I plan on writing a proper thank you and addressing you all personally when I can, publicly and privately.

Thank you for being here for me while I'm being a crybaby pussy :tongue:

I'm getting drunk by myself...how productive to my mood hey. lol

anyhow...as one poster said:

Quote:

Stick it out. Things will get better.




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InvisibleCyclohexylamine
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Re: My world has officially crumbled... [Re: Masked]
    #18861714 - 09/19/13 06:15 AM (10 years, 4 months ago)

Quote:

Masked said:
I'm sorry, I'm not intentionally ignoring everyone's great advice.  ALL of you have helped so much and it's great so many people are there for me.

I realize i've kind of let my emotions get carried away.  I'm still riding the nasty tidal wave, and I know it's ridiculous, so at least I'm aware.

It's just a breakup at the end of the day.  I could be dying from cancer or in a coma, or watching my 3 year old son getting brain surgery for a life threatening tumor.........just some examples to show that what I'm fretting over doesn't really matter in the grand scheme of life.

But I felt it necessary, and in some ways couldn't help it, to be taken away by this tidal wave of emotions.

I plan on writing a proper thank you and addressing you all personally when I can, publicly and privately.

Thank you for being here for me while I'm being a crybaby pussy :tongue:

I'm getting drunk by myself...how productive to my mood hey. lol

anyhow...as one poster said:

Quote:

Stick it out. Things will get better.







:hug:
It will get better though.


--------------------
Yes this is tymo - I just changed my name

Have you ever had a dream that you were so sure was real? What if you were unable to awake from that dream? How would you know the difference between that dream world and the real world?


There is NOTHING better than feeling that warm dissociative fuzz creeping up your body from IM K
Something abut that anaesthetic rush... :inlove:

Qualitative Research Chemical Effects and Experiences
The Wonderful World of Methoxetamine
The 3-Meo-PCP Chapters, Part One


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Onlinekoods
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Re: My world has officially crumbled... [Re: Cyclohexylamine]
    #18861758 - 09/19/13 06:44 AM (10 years, 4 months ago)

Every time I'm in the kinda place you're at, I think there is no way this feeling will every go away. It always does :shrug:

Can I make a suggestion?
Quote:

After some more lying, she admits that another man was inside her last night  The mother of my child had another man fucking her last night.

So exactly 8 days since we had an incredibly intimate night...she has another man fucking her, pleasuring the mother of my child.

Exactly 5 days since I made the original post...she has another man fucking her, pleasuring the mother of my child.



You are choosing to frame her this way, in the most dramatic way possible. I doubt it is very healthy.


--------------------
NotSheekle said
“if I believed she was 16 I would become unattracted to her”


Edited by koods (09/19/13 06:50 AM)


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Invisiblekoraks
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Re: My world has officially crumbled... [Re: koods]
    #18861793 - 09/19/13 07:15 AM (10 years, 4 months ago)

Quote:

koods said:
You are choosing to frame her this way, in the most dramatic way possible. I doubt it is very healthy.



But it is dramatic. Saying goodbye to someone you have shared your life with is a process that is similar to that of mourning. The fact that a breach of trust is involved in it only makes it more difficult. So it's not strange that OP would spiral towards the dramatic end of the spectrum for a bit.

But!...

I do agree that basing consequences on this dramatic depiction of what happened is probably not a good idea. It's things like these that burn bridges that usually don't need to be burned or that don't help either person if they are indeed burned: "I told her I can't be her friend anymore. "

In the end, usually if someone cheats on their partner, it's not to hurt them (otherwise they wouldn't try to keep it secret!) It's because they somehow can't fulfill their needs within the relationship and they resort to another person. Yes, it's a breach of trust and it's painful and confusing, usually for both partners. But that doesn't mean it's an act that is intended to hold the other person down or make them feel bad. These are the unfortunate side effects of cheating; basing decision making on the implicit assumption that they are the primary reason for cheating only makes matters more painful and creates a bigger trauma than it already is.


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