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Some of these posts are very old and might contain outdated information. You may wish to search for newer posts instead.
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cez

Registered: 08/04/09
Posts: 5,854
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Re: So what really happend to me? [Re: necrobytez]
#18817621 - 09/09/13 01:42 AM (10 years, 5 months ago) |
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This seems to be you bragging moreso than having a "problem." You had an intense experience and you think you're a better person because of it...
What's the issue?
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Lord_McLovin
mad scientist on shrooms



Registered: 04/09/11
Posts: 3,071
Loc: infinite dimensional void
Last seen: 6 years, 1 month
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Re: So what really happend to me? [Re: necrobytez]
#18817837 - 09/09/13 05:02 AM (10 years, 5 months ago) |
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Quote:
GreyMorph said: ...confused little guy. Its all in your mind.
Your mind is everything you will ever have. Don't forget that.
Quote:
necrobytez said: So i'm brain damaged for life? I'm not talking about the perspective change, i freaking love it.
There is no brain damage. Your personality just got a little swirled and you were not able to pass through the experience. Psychedelics always bring changes in perception and thinking with them in the long run, but it shouldn't get pathological. If that happens, you need to go back, look at the source of your fear, accept and pass on.
Contrary to the other poster, I recommend to stay away from downers. Yes, they will bring temporary relief, but in doing so they at least prolong the time it needs for you to recover and they do not help you deal with the experience. The traumatic experience will have a negative influence on your personality and consequently your life as long as you have not worked through it.
Over time, it will be put into context unconsciously and that is one way to heal, but you could speed up the process by actively working through it. Write down a report, try to remember every detail. How did you feel, why did you feel that way, what did you see, did it remind you of an experience you had in the past, etc.
You should also try meditation and maybe some MDMA taken alone or with someone you can talk with about very intimate things in a comfortable and calm setting. You could also place some triggers that remind you of the experience, for example you could do it where the difficult experience happened or place stuff around you that remind you of it. Don't fight it, just try to understand.
Safe travels.
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necrobytez
Happiness is a decision :D



Registered: 02/22/13
Posts: 446
Last seen: 7 years, 7 months
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Re: So what really happend to me? [Re: Lord_McLovin]
#18826706 - 09/11/13 06:55 AM (10 years, 5 months ago) |
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Thanks for the posts, i asked on a depersonalization forum and they all have the same symptoms as me so yea it's DP/DR, i can't even really write in a senseful way cause my mind is all over the place all the time. But yea..
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rikuni

Registered: 04/06/10
Posts: 982
Last seen: 9 years, 11 months
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Re: So what really happend to me? [Re: necrobytez]
#18826767 - 09/11/13 07:46 AM (10 years, 5 months ago) |
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...
Edited by rikuni (03/16/14 04:38 AM)
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Shortknight



Registered: 02/25/13
Posts: 2,164
Last seen: 6 years, 6 months
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Re: So what really happend to me? [Re: necrobytez]
#18826854 - 09/11/13 08:14 AM (10 years, 5 months ago) |
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Quote:
necrobytez said: Thanks for the posts, i asked on a depersonalization forum and they all have the same symptoms as me so yea it's DP/DR, i can't even really write in a senseful way cause my mind is all over the place all the time. But yea..
Not so sound hard, but i'd most likely stay away from that forum, or you might start mimicing their symptoms pretty soon.
Sweet time will bring you home Shorty
Edited by Shortknight (09/11/13 08:14 AM)
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GreySatyr
Pagan-Psyche


Registered: 06/20/13
Posts: 3,376
Loc: North Carolina
Last seen: 9 years, 9 months
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Re: So what really happend to me? [Re: Shortknight]
#18827055 - 09/11/13 09:27 AM (10 years, 5 months ago) |
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What the fuck is that? De what? Sounds like a scam.
-------------------- ...also, go to hell, huh?
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Jvells
Unity



Registered: 11/05/09
Posts: 3,031
Loc: East coast
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Re: So what really happend to me? [Re: GreySatyr]
#18827081 - 09/11/13 09:37 AM (10 years, 5 months ago) |
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I had this same shit. For me it was a mix of anxiety and needing to keep a clear mind and excercise. You gotta just stop thinking about it again go running, get your endorphins pumping...exercise was hugeeeeeee for me and i still run every damn day. also, be around people, and socialize, etc. it's just an altered state of mind that you get stuck in and need to learn to break free. Its hard to really describe it all but depersonalization is like serious anxiety, i overthink more than anyone i know so the fact i got dp at one point says something. You have to convince yourself you arent brain damaged, the brain is seriously something else i promise you that much.
I was 999999% sure i fucked my brain after my millions of trips but honestly tripping for me seems 1000x better than popping an adderall and to be honest it makes me more centered now, it has the reverse effect after awhile when you start to figure it all out. But poont was, you arent brain damaged...you are convinced you are i can tl but give it a couple few years and youll be better than ever and hopefully wont get it again. You got this man
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DoomSquirrel
Squeak!

Registered: 09/18/12
Posts: 387
Last seen: 3 months, 24 days
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Re: So what really happend to me? [Re: necrobytez]
#18827115 - 09/11/13 09:56 AM (10 years, 5 months ago) |
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Quote:
necrobytez said:
Quote:
GreyMorph said: ...confused little guy. Its all in your mind.
People like you make me want to leave shroomery. I thought trippers were more open minded. And to the other post i feel like i have the ability to see through any person. Is that whay u meant too?
And people like you make me want to leave shroomery. You took irresponsible dose, and instead of immediately go to doctor, you make post about it after couple months on forum where no one has medical expertise, and after some people told you what it might be, you still posting your rants like you seek attention.
Yes, your brain melted, you are brain damaged. If you can see through everyone then be an oracle. People here are open minded, but no one cares about irresponsible users, people like you demonize psychedelics to the public. You think you are the only one who feel depersonalized after dosing? No, it's just some people can deal with it and take the effects as they are, that is why you do research before you take doses like this. Deal with it and take it easy next time, if not then smoke green and eat shrooms and be hippie.
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Edited by DoomSquirrel (09/11/13 09:58 AM)
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flickedbic
Sojourner



Registered: 03/21/11
Posts: 4,676
Loc: Fractalic Fabric
Last seen: 3 days, 15 hours
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Re: So what really happend to me? [Re: DoomSquirrel]
#18827312 - 09/11/13 11:20 AM (10 years, 5 months ago) |
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Stuttering and loss of motor coordination persisting 6 months after the trip?
500mcg is a big dose man; that is like 6 street blotters. I read your other thread on this you made 2 months ago "Adverse Effects long term"; where you said of your LSD dose: Quote:
First day 250mcg and then 2 days later 500mcg and i had a panic.
Let this be a lesson to everyone: use tolerance breaks and slowly up the dosage with any chemical.
A lot of people on the site Rikuni linked you to are experiencing DP/DR after psychedelic or even Cannabis use (so you may want to restrict smoking and see if it helps). Some use vitamins to ameliorate symptoms, as well as excersize, diet and socialization.
I have only experienced HPPD but that lasted only a month or so. I also feel this came after tripping too often (not long enough tolerance breaks).
I'm sorry you got burned, OP. Take care.
-------------------- Favorite entheogen experiences in descending order: 1)Combo of oral DMT + smoked Bufotenine 2)Amanita (urine drank twice) 3)Mushrooms > Achuma 16"+cid(still need higher dose Achuma)> Cid (still need high dose) 4)Morning Glory-HBWR (+cumin, cinnamon aldehyde adducts) > Methyl chavicol (need more activators) 5)Salvia (need to try quid)
All readable matter in the above post is ficticious... any similarities to real life are purely coincidental. Blessing.
Edited by flickedbic (09/11/13 11:22 AM)
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JacksonMetaller
Stranger

Registered: 03/13/11
Posts: 13,361
Last seen: 1 year, 2 months
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Re: So what really happend to me? [Re: DoomSquirrel]
#18827370 - 09/11/13 11:35 AM (10 years, 5 months ago) |
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Quote:
DoomSquirrel said:
Quote:
necrobytez said:
Quote:
GreyMorph said: ...confused little guy. Its all in your mind.
People like you make me want to leave shroomery. I thought trippers were more open minded. And to the other post i feel like i have the ability to see through any person. Is that whay u meant too?
And people like you make me want to leave shroomery. You took irresponsible dose, and instead of immediately go to doctor, you make post about it after couple months on forum where no one has medical expertise, and after some people told you what it might be, you still posting your rants like you seek attention.
Yes, your brain melted, you are brain damaged. If you can see through everyone then be an oracle. People here are open minded, but no one cares about irresponsible users, people like you demonize psychedelics to the public. You think you are the only one who feel depersonalized after dosing? No, it's just some people can deal with it and take the effects as they are, that is why you do research before you take doses like this. Deal with it and take it easy next time, if not then smoke green and eat shrooms and be hippie.
Dude chill the fuck out. 500mcg is not an unreasonable dose by any measure. Plenty of people have taken doses like that on this site and been just fine. The dudes scared, I don't blame him. Let's not just shove cases like him under the rug and pretend it doesn't happen.
OP, I do think maybe you should see a doc though. I'm starting to think you may have had some underlying mental conditions that maybe they can help with. If it is just truly DP/DR then your best bet is to quit thinking about it. Go about your day and make sure you keep your focus on something else as much as possible. What jvells said about excercise is very important. Staying physically healthy is good for the mind too.
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rikuni

Registered: 04/06/10
Posts: 982
Last seen: 9 years, 11 months
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...
Edited by rikuni (03/16/14 04:39 AM)
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Shining Cosmos
Space Nomad



Registered: 06/18/13
Posts: 1,808
Loc: PHX
Last seen: 5 years, 4 months
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Re: So what really happend to me? [Re: necrobytez]
#18828647 - 09/11/13 04:36 PM (10 years, 5 months ago) |
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Quote:
necrobytez said: So about 6 months ago (feels longer than my entire life) i had an extremely bad trip with LSD, felt like i was having a stroke or something and my jaw and neck were so tight it was crazy and i literally felt melting sensations all over my brain and stuff.
But all these months ive never fully came back down so to speak, i have crazy brain fog, no sense of time, trance-states and mini-blackouts and visions in my head almost absorbing reality, and no short-term memory barely. Also my whole life feels like that was somebody else. Is this just depersonalization or something that changed me forever? I stutter and walk like a drunk sometimes too and i have extremely deep thoughts - I kinda feel like the smartest person alive and so alienated (sounds really narcissistic) but i always try to be the nicest guy you will meet, Please help!! 
The first time I tripped I almost got jumped and that stuck with me for a looooonngg time. Anytime I think about it my anxiety gets bad. I've felt 'not right' after some hostile dmt trips. You just have to change your mind set. It's only a bad trip if you let it be that way. It's all experience and that's why we trip. Turn fear into excitement; grief into wisdom.
You'll get better dude. Maybe stay sober for a couple of weeks and see how you feel?
-------------------- MY ART
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necrobytez
Happiness is a decision :D



Registered: 02/22/13
Posts: 446
Last seen: 7 years, 7 months
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Thanks all, no hard feelings for people not believing me, but yea i think it's a combination of paxil withdrawal, weed withdrawal, and big doses of LSD. I think the stuttering and balance problems are from paxil so yea i'm sorry guys for blaming something it's not! Peace!
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necrobytez
Happiness is a decision :D



Registered: 02/22/13
Posts: 446
Last seen: 7 years, 7 months
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Re: So what really happend to me? [Re: necrobytez]
#18830001 - 09/11/13 09:17 PM (10 years, 5 months ago) |
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Also; Low dopamine = stuttering and balance problems. I needa get it up
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lessismore
Registered: 02/10/13
Posts: 6,268
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Re: So what really happend to me? [Re: necrobytez]
#18830165 - 09/11/13 09:45 PM (10 years, 5 months ago) |
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DP/DR is normal with egodeath
accept it and go on
smoking weed everyday will make it much worse, quitting drugs for a while to reassemble yourself works wonders
I quit all drugs for 6 months after egodeath, couldn't smoke weed as it intensified it
but have since quit weed permanently
egodeath is a reset of the brain you need to redefine yourself before you can live again that is easiest without drugs and doing what you usually did, or doing what the new you feels like doing
ask yourself if you want to go back? or if you want to go forward and learn from the experience, there is a lot to be learned, but it takes time can easily take 1-2 years to process, for some it is much faster, for some it is slower
you probably got real L if you bought on SR from reputable vendor I'm pretty sure it's all in the mind like others say.... don't fear your fear, think positively it's normal for the head to feel weird after lsd/dizzy etc. , can last a while sometimes depending on dose
you can take a lower dose trip to get a good trip perhaps, after a while will give positive outlook on life (I prefer 100ug or so... not 500ug, 500ug requires lots of processing time;) lsd is always a good trip for me, be around nature and psytrance , and trip without doing other drugs for the most pure experience IMO + fast / eat healthy / exercise
nature and doing that helps a lot in everyday life too, without any drugs that was just what I needed after death, it recharged me each time I sat in nature
Edited by lessismore (09/11/13 10:10 PM)
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Shining Cosmos
Space Nomad



Registered: 06/18/13
Posts: 1,808
Loc: PHX
Last seen: 5 years, 4 months
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Re: So what really happend to me? [Re: lessismore]
#18830660 - 09/11/13 11:38 PM (10 years, 5 months ago) |
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Quote:
mio said: DP/DR is normal with egodeath
accept it and go on
smoking weed everyday will make it much worse, quitting drugs for a while to reassemble yourself works wonders
I quit all drugs for 6 months after egodeath, couldn't smoke weed as it intensified it
but have since quit weed permanently
egodeath is a reset of the brain you need to redefine yourself before you can live again that is easiest without drugs and doing what you usually did, or doing what the new you feels like doing
ask yourself if you want to go back? or if you want to go forward and learn from the experience, there is a lot to be learned, but it takes time can easily take 1-2 years to process, for some it is much faster, for some it is slower
you probably got real L if you bought on SR from reputable vendor I'm pretty sure it's all in the mind like others say.... don't fear your fear, think positively it's normal for the head to feel weird after lsd/dizzy etc. , can last a while sometimes depending on dose
you can take a lower dose trip to get a good trip perhaps, after a while will give positive outlook on life (I prefer 100ug or so... not 500ug, 500ug requires lots of processing time;) lsd is always a good trip for me, be around nature and psytrance , and trip without doing other drugs for the most pure experience IMO + fast / eat healthy / exercise
nature and doing that helps a lot in everyday life too, without any drugs that was just what I needed after death, it recharged me each time I sat in nature
where did you learn all of this? not trying to be a dick I'm just curious
-------------------- MY ART
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ATTA
Water



Registered: 09/04/13
Posts: 24
Loc: The Beach
Last seen: 10 years, 4 months
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Re: So what really happend to me? [Re: necrobytez]
#18830818 - 09/12/13 12:23 AM (10 years, 5 months ago) |
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It sounds to me that you have had an awakened sensory experience....
I came to my awareness in 2005.... but not through LSD.... I was smoking crystal meth (been up for a few days) and suddenly realised, I was not living in a "real reality".....
I spun right out... it hit me hard, and I was frantic.... I became aware that I was in some sort of oober high tech prison, liek the matrix... and as crazy as it sounds... my brain will not allow me to be tricked by the game anymore....
I still carry on within it... I am still not free... or I would be able to come back and get you out.... ( I believe that is what the second coming is all about)...
LSD and other psychoactives SHOW YOU THE TRUTH.. about what this illusional "reality" really is.... its nothing more than a dream... and we need to break free or "wake up" from the dream, or we die.. and it happens again, and again, and again....
LSD is not a natural drug, so I wouldn't put too much faith or onus on it.... I would stick with natural plants myself.... and I am about to do oneo of those Bridgessi cactus.... hopefully I will meet st Peter on the Bridge so to speak....
Anyway,,.. sounds like you could have had some bad made drugs.... any DR ug or something that has been interfered with by a DR is generally shit (IMO) nature intended us to eat and enjoy stuff IN ITS NATURAL STATE.... or somewhere close to that....
Hope that you get through it though.... but don't despair... none of this is real... its all a treacherous trap we are living in.... that most of us in this place who have the clarity and vision to see it, and work on how to break free from IT....
-------------------- St Peter Has the Keys to Heaven.... find the torch to light the path to the bridge where the two realms meet..... http://www.soundcloud.com/at-tr
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lessismore
Registered: 02/10/13
Posts: 6,268
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personal experience after deaths and NDE's on LSD and shrooms
always takes a long time to process, NDE's took 1-2 years to integrate somewhat "nothing is real, nothing you've ever seen/experienced in your life is real"
death I'm not sure... takes forever, 2 years ago or so but still processing it is a continuous path usually, you're building a new self old self is gone(formatted), it was only a virtual self 
if your old self was your real self - the one that is happy most of the time, then I would expect very few changes after egodeath, but first time there will be many changes in your life likely (because most people have forgotten themselves... just like I had)
the good thing is that you're not alone :-) albert hofmann, john lennon , many others have had egodeath huxley,timothy leary,alan watts i'm pretty certain too, just not 100% sure
you can go back to your old self if you chose to learn nothing or build a new self with what you value if you want to learn from it, it will show you your mistakes in life usually... so you can stop doing them and be happy
just do what makes you happy at all times/what you love
(and if you didn't reach death, you probably need to go back to that high dosage, because it seems ego gets stronger if you don't dissolve it, you need to dissolve it, then there is no fear... the only one that knows is yourself if you reached death+rebirth - will be apparent next days/weeks/months/years ... very apparent)
sometimes we're not ready and the fear takes over while aiming for egodeath... then it's a good time to take a break (kinda like a normal badtrip I think) then you can always come back later and try to do it again, when ready to let go and accept death fully / all attachments to this world... it's not easy, it usually happens 'randomly'
if you're ment to get there you will get there, or if you take a very large dose perhaps 
there is usually something driving us towards it I think.. something we're missing
peace
Edited by lessismore (09/12/13 03:02 AM)
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necrobytez
Happiness is a decision :D



Registered: 02/22/13
Posts: 446
Last seen: 7 years, 7 months
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Re: So what really happend to me? [Re: lessismore]
#18833352 - 09/12/13 05:11 PM (10 years, 5 months ago) |
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Lovely posts!! Also before all of this everything was black in my mind, now images flood my mind constantly, it's like i don't think in thoughts i think in images now. Do anyone else have that?
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lessismore
Registered: 02/10/13
Posts: 6,268
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Re: So what really happend to me? [Re: necrobytez]
#18833611 - 09/12/13 06:15 PM (10 years, 5 months ago) |
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I've experienced overwhelming images from the subconscious yes for a while
after egodeath I had to reprocess my whole life... it's intense, more mindfuck than any other trip I've experienced
it seems to get less and less, seems pretty random what comes up :-)
many overwhelming feelings too at random times..
instead I try to focus on the positive of it, it has showed me what not to do in order to stay happy and it has allowed me to live in the moment without thoughts/worries, therefore bringing me closer to myself than before
don't smoke weed everyday i.e. unless your life situation supports it, don't eat junk food everyday, don't worry about anything (worrying never makes sense, it's pointless) don't live as thoughts/desires/emotions i.e. , no thoughts = no suffering , turn off thoughts (nature/meditation/simple lifestyle , live in the moment) love yourself, love others, love nature, appreciate everything you have, accept everything :-) treat others like you would treat yourself, the best way of being happy is from making others happy
about every mistake I make I see pretty clearly now, didn't before that seems to be permanent it's usually a benefit to me, because I can correct it and be happy / avoid making them as much as before
I feel free+happy everyday for the first time in over a decade... it's worth it :-)
Edited by lessismore (09/12/13 06:31 PM)
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