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Offlinest1llnox
dx'd PTSD/ADHD--please don't ask
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Registered: 11/27/12
Posts: 7,312
Loc: 913 KANSAS CITY 816 Flag
Last seen: 5 years, 1 month
UPDATED---I may steal my new psychiatrists "Tarascon Pharmacopia" in my appt today
    #18826428 - 09/11/13 03:49 AM (10 years, 5 months ago)

UPDATE: Didn't steal it from her; I'm not that kind of person, but I couldn't help but indulge the idea of retaliation with how frustrated I've been (below is me indulging in that, although making me seem like an ass too possibly).

I'm going to waste no more time with this doctor. It's a shame, because it might have been really good to have an addiction-conscious doctor, so I'll just have to let my next doctor know from the getgo not to give me more than 2-3 benzos in a shot, etc.




I have a new problem, err... psychiatrist (aren't they similar at the end of the day, though? :wink:), who I started going to because she has personally dealt with addiction.

Adderall is a necessity for me, or at least I think I ought to use it to maintain operating at 110% instead of the 0-90% that my personality, ADHD, and tendency towards problem drug abuse normally dictate I operate at.


So at our first appointment, I had her promise that she wasn't going to yank me off of 2 years of Adderall just because I'm going to be honest about whether I'm using and what I'm using. It's worth noting I've literally never used a stimulant recreationally, including Adderall, despite having abused everything from Benadryl to Whipped Cream cans outside of stimulants...

Anyway, she promises she won't do that.

Stupid, frothing cunt does exactly this at the next appointment and informs me that if she can ever be persuaded into treating my attention needs with stimulants, it would be strictly Vyvanse for it's child proofness and low street value, but I know based on it's silly half life that it would screw up my already volatile sleep.


I've got an appointment with her today and I'm going to give her 1 more chance, but if she isn't moving in the right direction I'm going to absolutely lambast her about wasting my time and setting me back (Prima non nocerum after all, right?) on my recovery and comeback from this drug quagmire I've been in for 2 years. I'm also going to both get a referral from my old doctor on the phone in her office in front of her, and then immediately after that call, phone up a friend and make it very obvious that I get Adderall if I need it period (I.e. I'm going to set up getting enough Adderall for now via phone in front of her, just so she knows she didn't have the influence or say she was under the illusion she had over me).

Also, I need a copy of the Tarascon Pharmacoepia as mine's missing and she has one, so if she's indeed simply wasted more of my time, I'm going to help myself to this and inform her that this is about 1% of what she owes me in order for her to have repaid the waste of my time and my family's money that she is.




That said, she may be the perfect psychiatrist for me, especially with our mutual history of addiction, so pray to the Mushroom Jesus that she's willing to play ball. I know I'm not getting an Addy script tomorrow, but I might be able--with my parents there and on board, get her to give me enough Vyvanse to bridge from now until I talk her into the proper stimulant. Any dopaminergic stimulant will be sufficient, but the precision dosing and relatively short duration of Addy IR allows me to benefit from stimulants without dealing with their secondary effects, such as insomnia.


Anyway, just thought I'd share. Wish me luck.


--------------------
Back, bitches.
st1lln0x: so i'm on weed, temazepam, adderall, dexedrine, dxm, dph, alcohol, nicotine, caffeine, tryptophan, GABA, and kratom
Cavemen_savemen: st1lln0x, do you feel like a robot yet?
st1lln0x: I feel like a fucking Gundam
Click to friend me on Steam for Counter-Strike
:crankey: IS LIFE SKULLFUCKING YOU!? HAVE SOME FREE MORALE! :awesomenod:
Click if you want to feel you alone can do it! Click if you want to feel confident and beastly! Click if you want courage to let go and move on! And click the message if you need someone to talk to -- I'll understand, even if we "hate" each other on here :hug: :sun:


Edited by st1llnox (09/11/13 12:53 PM)


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OfflineFire is Born
wanderer
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Registered: 05/17/10
Posts: 2,016
Last seen: 8 years, 10 months
Re: I may steal my new psychiatrists "Tarascon Pharmacopia" in my appt today [Re: st1llnox] * 1
    #18826443 - 09/11/13 04:00 AM (10 years, 5 months ago)

:facepalm: so you're going to chuck your toys and steal?


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Offlinest1llnox
dx'd PTSD/ADHD--please don't ask
Male User Gallery


Registered: 11/27/12
Posts: 7,312
Loc: 913 KANSAS CITY 816 Flag
Last seen: 5 years, 1 month
Re: I may steal my new psychiatrists "Tarascon Pharmacopia" in my appt today [Re: Fire is Born]
    #18826450 - 09/11/13 04:05 AM (10 years, 5 months ago)

Quote:

Fire is Born said:
:facepalm: so you're going to chuck your toys and steal?




Chuck my toys?


If it's clear there is no possibility of her being adequate as my psychiatrist, then she's essentially fucked me over and set me back. I'm not saying it's right, but acquiescing to my anger/revenge inclination and indulging will help me feel better, and frankly most people on this site ought to own a copy of that book.



My personality is not perfect, but if I can get her to furnish the medication I need, she might be PERFECT:

- she doesn't script benzos period
- she has dealt with addiction herself and will be able to help steer me away from the mines in my comeback and future success that are my drug benders

However, her logic around drugs has undergone a standard 12-Steps Lobotomy so this may cause friction, although I need to keep my drug use so scaled back it may be trivial, and I finally have a lot of other stuff I'm getting real big on that will really crowd out my interest in doing much drugs for the next couple months.


--------------------
Back, bitches.
st1lln0x: so i'm on weed, temazepam, adderall, dexedrine, dxm, dph, alcohol, nicotine, caffeine, tryptophan, GABA, and kratom
Cavemen_savemen: st1lln0x, do you feel like a robot yet?
st1lln0x: I feel like a fucking Gundam
Click to friend me on Steam for Counter-Strike
:crankey: IS LIFE SKULLFUCKING YOU!? HAVE SOME FREE MORALE! :awesomenod:
Click if you want to feel you alone can do it! Click if you want to feel confident and beastly! Click if you want courage to let go and move on! And click the message if you need someone to talk to -- I'll understand, even if we "hate" each other on here :hug: :sun:


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Invisibleskeet157
That one guy
 User Gallery


Registered: 04/03/13
Posts: 436
Re: I may steal my new psychiatrists "Tarascon Pharmacopia" in my appt today [Re: st1llnox] * 1
    #18826471 - 09/11/13 04:24 AM (10 years, 5 months ago)

You're wasting money if you're trying to control your psychiatrist. I understand the thought that they aren't right for you but you just sound angry because she won't give you the drugs you WANT


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OfflineFire is Born
wanderer
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Registered: 05/17/10
Posts: 2,016
Last seen: 8 years, 10 months
Re: I may steal my new psychiatrists "Tarascon Pharmacopia" in my appt today [Re: skeet157] * 1
    #18826475 - 09/11/13 04:28 AM (10 years, 5 months ago)

So find someone else and buy your own fucking book.
For a super genius prodigy. ...you certainly ask a lot of advice


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OfflineRewindicus
Silly Goose
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Registered: 06/05/11
Posts: 5,491
Last seen: 2 years, 3 months
Re: I may steal my new psychiatrists "Tarascon Pharmacopia" in my appt today [Re: Fire is Born] * 2
    #18826494 - 09/11/13 04:45 AM (10 years, 5 months ago)

It was painful reading that. As a medical professional if you came into my office threatening me like that you would not like the game of ball I would be playing. If she lets you step on her thats her own fault :shrug:


--------------------
“Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind.”- Dr. Seuss

"Too much of a good thing, can be wonderful!" - Mae West

"If you have nothing nice to say about anyone, come sit next to me."
- Alice Roosevelt Longworth





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Offlineistandalone
the clit commander
Male


Registered: 04/30/09
Posts: 2,997
Loc: somewhere in southern VT
Last seen: 7 months, 6 days
Re: I may steal my new psychiatrists "Tarascon Pharmacopia" in my appt today [Re: Rewindicus] * 1
    #18826508 - 09/11/13 04:55 AM (10 years, 5 months ago)

exactly. sounds to me you are a 'drug seeking patient' and will be labeled as such.
do yourself a favor and try it her way for a couple months. if that doesn't work, then find another psych.


--------------------
Now he's Johnny Hammersticks hammerin' away like he's friggin' Tommy Noble


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Offlinestanski
Stranger
Registered: 07/14/11
Posts: 299
Last seen: 2 years, 3 months
Re: I may steal my new psychiatrists "Tarascon Pharmacopia" in my appt today [Re: istandalone]
    #18826602 - 09/11/13 05:47 AM (10 years, 5 months ago)

She sounds like an idiot for wanting to put you on vyvanse because it "has no street value," I and many of my friends always sought out vyvanse over adderall specifically for the longer half life when in the midst of a long study session/long poker session. I really don't know too many people who use adderall "for fun" unless they have access to nothing else, and even though i've used it recreationally i've never sought it out for that specifically.

Though I'm fairly sure the tactic of showing her how easy it is to get won't phase her at all, especially if she is a recovering addict she for sure has to know how easy it is to obtain.


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InvisibleTheMule73
Stranger
Male

Registered: 08/26/11
Posts: 1,797
Re: I may steal my new psychiatrists "Tarascon Pharmacopia" in my appt today [Re: istandalone] * 1
    #18826700 - 09/11/13 06:52 AM (10 years, 5 months ago)

Quote:

istandalone said:

do yourself a favor and try it her way for a couple months.




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Invisiblepwnasaurus
Stranger
I'm a teapot User Gallery


Registered: 07/16/08
Posts: 12,317
Loc: Canada Flag
Re: I may steal my new psychiatrists "Tarascon Pharmacopia" in my appt today [Re: istandalone] * 2
    #18826723 - 09/11/13 07:13 AM (10 years, 5 months ago)

Quote:

istandalone said:
exactly. sounds to me you are a 'drug seeking patient' and will be labeled as such.
do yourself a favor and try it her way for a couple months. if that doesn't work, then find another psych.



Of course he is.  If you've read any of his threads in the last few months you would know he's a poly-drug addict.  He has serious issues abusing drugs such as alcohol, DXM, and apparently stimulants as well.

This isn't going to work out well for you OP.


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InvisibleVivaLaMushie
RIP LS :(
Female User Gallery


Registered: 07/23/12
Posts: 15,711
Loc: Switzerland Flag
Re: I may steal my new psychiatrists "Tarascon Pharmacopia" in my appt today [Re: st1llnox] * 6
    #18826783 - 09/11/13 07:52 AM (10 years, 5 months ago)

stealing isn't cool.


--------------------


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OfflineFire is Born
wanderer
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Registered: 05/17/10
Posts: 2,016
Last seen: 8 years, 10 months
Re: I may steal my new psychiatrists "Tarascon Pharmacopia" in my appt today [Re: VivaLaMushie] * 1
    #18826879 - 09/11/13 08:22 AM (10 years, 5 months ago)

By his own admission he is the most influential and amazing scientist the Internet has ever seen


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Invisiblememes
Blessed


Folding@home Statistics
Registered: 01/11/05
Posts: 27,785
Loc: In a Tree
Re: I may steal my new psychiatrists "Tarascon Pharmacopia" in my appt today [Re: Fire is Born] * 3
    #18826904 - 09/11/13 08:32 AM (10 years, 5 months ago)

jesus st1llnox, your posts are ridiculous these days.  calm the fuck down with everything.  normalcy needs to prevail


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InvisibleVivaLaMushie
RIP LS :(
Female User Gallery


Registered: 07/23/12
Posts: 15,711
Loc: Switzerland Flag
Re: I may steal my new psychiatrists "Tarascon Pharmacopia" in my appt today [Re: memes]
    #18826913 - 09/11/13 08:35 AM (10 years, 5 months ago)

Quote:

memes said:
jesus st1llnox, your posts are ridiculous these days.  calm the fuck down with everything.  normalcy needs to prevail





:noargument:


--------------------


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InvisibleSophistic Radiance
Free sVs!
Female

Registered: 07/11/06
Posts: 43,135
Loc: Center of the Universe
Re: I may steal my new psychiatrists [Re: st1llnox] * 1
    #18826966 - 09/11/13 08:52 AM (10 years, 5 months ago)

This seems like a pretty swell way to get locked up. IMO you should just take what you can get and go with the vyvanse. Take it first thing in the morning and you shouldn't have trouble sleeping.


Edited by Sophistic Radiance (09/11/13 08:57 AM)


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Offlinest1llnox
dx'd PTSD/ADHD--please don't ask
Male User Gallery


Registered: 11/27/12
Posts: 7,312
Loc: 913 KANSAS CITY 816 Flag
Last seen: 5 years, 1 month
Re: I may steal my new psychiatrists "Tarascon Pharmacopia" in my appt today [Re: Rewindicus]
    #18827243 - 09/11/13 10:53 AM (10 years, 5 months ago)

Quote:

Rewindicus said:
It was painful reading that. As a medical professional if you came into my office threatening me like that you would not like the game of ball I would be playing. If she lets you step on her thats her own fault :shrug:



Quote:

Rewindicus said:
It was painful reading that. As a medical professional if you came into my office threatening me like that you would not like the game of ball I would be playing. If she lets you step on her thats her own fault :shrug:



Quote:

Rewindicus said:
It was painful reading that. As a medical professional if you came into my office threatening me like that you would not like the game of ball I would be playing. If she lets you step on her thats her own fault :shrug:




The medical professional mislead me though and may end up having immensely wasted my time.

I don't actually need the book, but I'm going to waste her time. That's kind of quaint how you're puffing out your chest for my psychiatrist.


--------------------
Back, bitches.
st1lln0x: so i'm on weed, temazepam, adderall, dexedrine, dxm, dph, alcohol, nicotine, caffeine, tryptophan, GABA, and kratom
Cavemen_savemen: st1lln0x, do you feel like a robot yet?
st1lln0x: I feel like a fucking Gundam
Click to friend me on Steam for Counter-Strike
:crankey: IS LIFE SKULLFUCKING YOU!? HAVE SOME FREE MORALE! :awesomenod:
Click if you want to feel you alone can do it! Click if you want to feel confident and beastly! Click if you want courage to let go and move on! And click the message if you need someone to talk to -- I'll understand, even if we "hate" each other on here :hug: :sun:


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Offlinest1llnox
dx'd PTSD/ADHD--please don't ask
Male User Gallery


Registered: 11/27/12
Posts: 7,312
Loc: 913 KANSAS CITY 816 Flag
Last seen: 5 years, 1 month
Re: I may steal my new psychiatrists [Re: Sophistic Radiance]
    #18827258 - 09/11/13 10:58 AM (10 years, 5 months ago)

Quote:

BlindSophist said:
This seems like a pretty swell way to get locked up. IMO you should just take what you can get and go with the vyvanse. Take it first thing in the morning and you shouldn't have trouble sleeping.




This is how I'm willing to compromise temporarily (and if it was better than addy' I'd go with that).

Rewindicus, maybe you think there's something special about medical professionals but I've corrected way too many of you guys in the field of psychiatry to give anyone any sort of automatic sanctity over that status, although by default and by being a healthcare professional (read: nurse or MD), they certainly do know a lot more than me generally.

I know myself and what I need best though, and have already explored the alternative shes wasting my time on.




I REALLY HOPE her 12 step lobotomy doesn't get in the way of her scripting effective meds, as I think she could really help me keep addiction from derailing me again.


--------------------
Back, bitches.
st1lln0x: so i'm on weed, temazepam, adderall, dexedrine, dxm, dph, alcohol, nicotine, caffeine, tryptophan, GABA, and kratom
Cavemen_savemen: st1lln0x, do you feel like a robot yet?
st1lln0x: I feel like a fucking Gundam
Click to friend me on Steam for Counter-Strike
:crankey: IS LIFE SKULLFUCKING YOU!? HAVE SOME FREE MORALE! :awesomenod:
Click if you want to feel you alone can do it! Click if you want to feel confident and beastly! Click if you want courage to let go and move on! And click the message if you need someone to talk to -- I'll understand, even if we "hate" each other on here :hug: :sun:


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InvisibleMagicman69
All About the Benjamins
Male User Gallery


Registered: 05/29/13
Posts: 6,876
Re: I may steal my new psychiatrists [Re: st1llnox]
    #18827277 - 09/11/13 11:02 AM (10 years, 5 months ago)

He's been taking ADHD meds for years and has found one that works. I don't see why she won't give you a chance to prove u won't abuse the privledge


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InvisibleCidneyIndole
www.shroomery.OG
Male User Gallery


Registered: 05/16/05
Posts: 4,761
Loc: Love's Secret Domain
Re: I may steal my new psychiatrists [Re: Magicman69]
    #18827587 - 09/11/13 12:30 PM (10 years, 5 months ago)

Okay, I have to say I can kind of see both sides of this issue.


On the one hand, if I were a prescriber, I might be a little wary of giving addictive controlled meds with "recreational value" to someone with not only a history of poly drug abuse, but who was currently active in such.


However, psychiatrists and nurse practitioners can be supremely frustrating sometimes. Especially when you've already run the gamut, and you've been diagnosed, and you've tried this and that, and you already know what generally does and does not work for you.  I understand they need to account for drug-seekers, and addicts who are just looking to get high, or those who may be somewhat sincere but are still way too risky to give the meds to (because they might slip, or something, despite sincerity)... but IMHO this attitude does block some people who need meds from actually getting them.****(I'll get back to that in a minute)


And I 100% understand nox' point about intelligence. IMHO they need to re-work their formula regarding what constitutes "drug seeking" behavior when they're working with someone who is highly intelligent with extensive knowledge of pharmacology. I have known more about meds than most of my prescribers. In meetings, I've corrected them, or offered them info they weren't aware of. My last prescriber didn't even know bupropion was an NDRI for fuck sake!!!!  "Oh, is it?" she said to me... "well, maybe you're right....."


No, lady, I'm fucking right. And you should know this by now.  (Of course I would never say something so douchey, but believe me when I say I wanted to.)





****Now, I know this, because I fall into this category, myself. I've been told I have all the signs of ADHD. I have two close blood relatives (a sibling and a parent) who are currently medicated for this condition. And my other parent should be. The aforementioned prescriber is even the same woman prescribing these meds to both of my relatives. But I don't get any. Any guesses as to why that is?



It's funny, in a sad way-- that I've gotten further with prescribers by pretending to be stupid and lying to them, than being 100% honest. And that's just not how it should work.


--------------------
------------------------
I am me. We are You.


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Offlinedontknow
It's all in the reflex


Registered: 07/05/13
Posts: 3,889
Last seen: 7 years, 4 months
Re: I may steal my new psychiatrists [Re: CidneyIndole]
    #18827622 - 09/11/13 12:37 PM (10 years, 5 months ago)

I don't know much about you, but from your posts it seems you're just in to deep with medicine and drugs...

I'd suggest sobriety :sun:


--------------------
:box:

The discerning heart seeks knowledge, but the mouth of a fool feeds on folly. -Proverbs 15:14

:tripping2: :shroomer:  :trippinballs: :shroomin:

“Imagination is everything. It is the preview of Life’s coming attractions.”
Albert Einstein


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