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OfflineKickleM
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happy endings * 2
    #18825916 - 09/10/13 11:34 PM (10 years, 5 months ago)

"If you want a happy ending, that depends, of course, on where you stop your story."

True or false?

From the earliest years most of us are pumped full of the idea that once you overcome the single source of evil in the world then you can live happily ever after.  But there is zero evidence of such a fairy tale to be found. No problem though, right? No one believes an evil witch has poisoned a princess after all. But how many believe in happily ever after? Do you? I mean really. If not, how do you cope? Does anyone else feel as though some sense of hope for a happily ever after is fundamental to healthy goal making and also a key motivator for achievement? If it is absent, then second fiddle of "happier than I am now" comes in? Doesnt this require some sense of permanence as well to be worthwhile? I mean, I can think of lots of ecstatic moments that put the present one to shame. But of course none of them lasted. And to make it my goal to return to them just to find myself reflecting on them after seems somewhat... ill conceived. Like a partial con that wouldn't quite fool me into any sense of a happy ending. And so I could cycle around and around chasing those brief moments and hoping that I can continue in that way until the end, and that does seem to be my current coping technique, but there is a voice gnawing which says, quit distracting yourself. You're turning a blind eye to something here.

Anyone relate?


--------------------
Why shouldn't the truth be stranger than fiction?
Fiction, after all, has to make sense. -- Mark Twain


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InvisibleFuturesight
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Registered: 01/19/13
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Loc: The Candy Kingdom
Re: happy endings [Re: Kickle]
    #18826001 - 09/11/13 12:20 AM (10 years, 5 months ago)

I feel that while life may suck, and most stories in life do not end well, death is a way out. Life is the worst thing to happen to a being. All things end well, but not all things end when you think.

I am not a part of any organized religion, nor do I necessarily have faith in anything, but I like to think that whatever there is, it is better than life. So why not just enjoy the ride into oblivion?


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Invisibleliquidlounge

Registered: 12/22/10
Posts: 9,256
Re: happy endings [Re: Kickle]
    #18826223 - 09/11/13 01:40 AM (10 years, 5 months ago)

From the earliest years most of us are pumped full of the idea that once you overcome the single source of evil in the world then you can live happily ever after.

Do whatever it takes to survive? :satansmoking:


--------------------
As far as I assume to know...


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InvisiblePocketLady
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Re: happy endings [Re: Kickle] * 1
    #18826519 - 09/11/13 05:01 AM (10 years, 5 months ago)

Yeah I can totally relate to that and I think it mostly comes down to living in the moment.  If we are able to just be in the moment, and stop comparing now to the past or the imagined future then we are more likely to be content.  It's when we start making judgements that stuff doesn't live up to expectations.  Just get rid of those expectations.  It's very hard, but certainly since I've started trying to live life like that I have been happier.


--------------------
Love is from the infinite, and will remain until eternity.
The seeker of love escapes the chains of birth and death.
Tomorrow, when resurrection comes,
The heart that is not in love will fail the test.

~ Rumi



The day we start giving Love instead of seeking Love, we will have re-written our whole destiny.
~ Swami Chinmayanada Saraswatir


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OfflineFishOilTheKid
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Re: happy endings [Re: PocketLady]
    #18826626 - 09/11/13 06:01 AM (10 years, 5 months ago)

Quote:

"If you want a happy ending, that depends, of course, on where you stop your story."

True or false?




Story?


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InvisibleInto The Woods
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Registered: 04/20/13
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Re: happy endings [Re: FishOilTheKid]
    #18826635 - 09/11/13 06:16 AM (10 years, 5 months ago)

tweeny dorra


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InvisibleLunarEclipse
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Re: happy endings [Re: Kickle]
    #18826853 - 09/11/13 08:14 AM (10 years, 5 months ago)

Quote:

Kickle said:
"If you want a happy ending, that depends, of course, on where you stop your story."

True or false?

From the earliest years most of us are pumped full of the idea that once you overcome the single source of evil in the world then you can live happily ever after.  But there is zero evidence of such a fairy tale to be found. No problem though, right? No one believes an evil witch has poisoned a princess after all. But how many believe in happily ever after? Do you? I mean really. If not, how do you cope? Does anyone else feel as though some sense of hope for a happily ever after is fundamental to healthy goal making and also a key motivator for achievement? If it is absent, then second fiddle of "happier than I am now" comes in? Doesnt this require some sense of permanence as well to be worthwhile? I mean, I can think of lots of ecstatic moments that put the present one to shame. But of course none of them lasted. And to make it my goal to return to them just to find myself reflecting on them after seems somewhat... ill conceived. Like a partial con that wouldn't quite fool me into any sense of a happy ending. And so I could cycle around and around chasing those brief moments and hoping that I can continue in that way until the end, and that does seem to be my current coping technique, but there is a voice gnawing which says, quit distracting yourself. You're turning a blind eye to something here.

Anyone relate?




I can relate.  First I typed in I can felate, but obviously while true and would perhaps give someone a "happy ending" but would that be me?

But I digress.  Really the notion of a "happy ending" probably meant a wife, kids, grandkids, and family get togethers at the beach.  I mean in the movies, the dude always gets the chick, or more recently maybe another dude.  Are they truly "happy together"?

So as I fall down further into the rabbit hole of life, and see less and less light coming down from the entrance of the tunnel, shall I keep digging, or surface?



--------------------
Anxiety is what you make it.


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InvisiblePenelope_Tree
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Re: happy endings [Re: Kickle]
    #18826880 - 09/11/13 08:22 AM (10 years, 5 months ago)

I very much agree with these two posts:

Quote:

Futuresight said:
So why not just enjoy the ride into oblivion?




Quote:

PocketLady said:
Yeah I can totally relate to that and I think it mostly comes down to living in the moment.  If we are able to just be in the moment, and stop comparing now to the past or the imagined future then we are more likely to be content.  It's when we start making judgements that stuff doesn't live up to expectations.  Just get rid of those expectations.  It's very hard, but certainly since I've started trying to live life like that I have been happier.





I can say this right now, but I'm not so sure it works the same in practice - I'm not striving for happiness. I'm striving for an even keel with low stress. Actually, I'm sure I don't do that in practice because I notice attachments, desires & clinging behavior to things I think will make me happy even though they cause me stress. However, I do think that is my ideal and ironically, that it would be easier to be happier when I'm not preferring one emotional state over another.

That isn't to say I don't have goals and ambitions that I want to achieve, but I am very ...cooperative in how they could be executed.

To answer the OP
Quote:

Kickle said:
"If you want a happy ending, that depends, of course, on where you stop your story."

True or false?





If my story ended now, it'd be pretty tragic, though there would be silver linings, imo.


--------------------
full blown human


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OfflineMemories
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Re: happy endings [Re: Kickle]
    #18826960 - 09/11/13 08:51 AM (10 years, 5 months ago)

Quote:

Kickle said:
"If you want a happy ending, that depends, of course, on where you stop your story."

True or false?

From the earliest years most of us are pumped full of the idea that once you overcome the single source of evil in the world then you can live happily ever after.  But there is zero evidence of such a fairy tale to be found. No problem though, right? No one believes an evil witch has poisoned a princess after all. But how many believe in happily ever after? Do you? I mean really. If not, how do you cope? Does anyone else feel as though some sense of hope for a happily ever after is fundamental to healthy goal making and also a key motivator for achievement? If it is absent, then second fiddle of "happier than I am now" comes in? Doesnt this require some sense of permanence as well to be worthwhile? I mean, I can think of lots of ecstatic moments that put the present one to shame. But of course none of them lasted. And to make it my goal to return to them just to find myself reflecting on them after seems somewhat... ill conceived. Like a partial con that wouldn't quite fool me into any sense of a happy ending. And so I could cycle around and around chasing those brief moments and hoping that I can continue in that way until the end, and that does seem to be my current coping technique, but there is a voice gnawing which says, quit distracting yourself. You're turning a blind eye to something here.

Anyone relate?




I relate to this so much.

I don't know how to cope with this. Now that I'm thinking about this problem my already lacking motivation seems to have weakened.

Honestly, the strongest motivating factor for me at the moment is trying to avoid the pain of letting people down. The problem with that is I know the truth. If it were to all end, I wouldn't have to experience letting everyone down.


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OfflineKickleM
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Re: happy endings [Re: Memories] * 1
    #18827288 - 09/11/13 11:07 AM (10 years, 5 months ago)

After I posted this I went to bed. I lay there and focused on my heart. I do a visualization on occasion. Not an overly active one but sort of a... pre-dream focus. I like watching the imagery that starts before sleep. So as I focus on my heart I watch what imagery floats up. I often get all sorts of bright light anywhere from golden dust emanating from a highly undefined central point to a white fog that seems to glow from within and pulse to clear but luminescent bubbles. It's usually quite pleasant and the reason I've maintained it in some sense is because it lulls me to sleep.

But not last night :lol:

Last night it erupted in a frenzy of energy. I started thinking about my boss and how thankless his job really is. How much he gives to try and make things as good as he can and how little he gets back in terms of appreciation. That led to ideas of how to show him that he is appreciated. That led through a lot of scenarios, and culminated in an imagined scenario of talking with him in private and letting him know that no matter where he sees himself in the future, right now, he's a person to admire.

And on and on and on this went. From one person to the next. I couldn't stop seeing the best in everyone around me. And I couldn't help feeling like they are perfect right as they are, as I see them, right now. And after each person I'd think, ah, this is what an open heart feels like. Ok, great, now I'd really like to sleep :lol: And then the next one would pop into my mind and the process would begin anew.

It wasn't a bad thing as feeling so uplifted about others is a rare happening for me. But at the same time it felt fruitless. I couldn't act on any of it. And here I am today with the memories of it but the intense feeling has dissipated. It would be a mistake to try and relate it to those same individuals because the feelings are gone.

Why am I posting this? Because the original post was largely inspired by the idea of suicide. And not in a sad, oh poor me sort of way. I've never felt more free or lucky than right now. But in the sense of everyone has a story and I find it difficult to see many that end well. And if one must live a life, is it so wrong to seek a realistic means to end it on a positive note?

And although such thoughts are scary, taboo, and often reinforcing a thought loop born of depression, I find it interesting that they can also lead to an outpouring of heart. An uplifting of everyone I know. A beauty that can hide itself amidst personal concern and only appears once one honestly admits their unimportance and to the point of not having anything that the world needs them for.

Sorry for rambling. Thanks to everyone for posting I did enjoy reading the responses. It's nice to see a range of thought on this topic and I agree with many of the posts in the ways they promote well-being. Have a nice day everyone :sun:


--------------------
Why shouldn't the truth be stranger than fiction?
Fiction, after all, has to make sense. -- Mark Twain


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Invisibleextreme
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Re: happy endings [Re: Kickle]
    #18827722 - 09/11/13 01:05 PM (10 years, 5 months ago)

Really the notion of a "happy ending" probably meant a wife, kids, grandkids, and family get togethers at the beach.  I mean in the movies, the dude always gets the chick, or more recently maybe another dude.  Are they truly "happy together"?

:lol:  Is there a movie where the protagonist actually loses?  Very rarely, if ever.  Probably affects men more than women too, because they feel they have such high expectations to live up to, and the women just sit back expecting men to go to those lengths.  Not that there wouldn't still be competition by men to get the lady, but at least their expectations wouldn't be set in a false reality that is literally only possible if you do everything perfectly, which is impossible.

Life seemed so simple when I was younger.  Like you just kinda walk through life and everything just "works."  Pretty harsh when you gotta come to terms with the fact that just isn't true.  Probably why teenagers and young adults have such a tough time adjusting sometimes... because they realize everything won't just flow with them like they've come to expect.


If my story ended now, it'd be pretty tragic, though there would be silver linings, imo.


Same :thumbup:

Honestly, the strongest motivating factor for me at the moment is trying to avoid the pain of letting people down. The problem with that is I know the truth. If it were to all end, I wouldn't have to experience letting everyone down

Damn man, we really share a lot of the same feelings.  I know exactly what you mean :hug:

Why am I posting this? Because the original post was largely inspired by the idea of suicide. And not in a sad, oh poor me sort of way. I've never felt more free or lucky than right now. But in the sense of everyone has a story and I find it difficult to see many that end well. And if one must live a life, is it so wrong to seek a realistic means to end it on a positive note?

Sounds like you had some really interesting thoughts before you fell asleep last night.  I often think the hardest before bed too :lol:

I think to some extent you're on to something about seeing everyone as perfect the way they are.  All of us are struggling, all of us are husting, in our own ways.  To survive you gotta try at least a little bit, and that can be surprisingly hard if you don't feel good.  Also taking note in your suicide part, I can relate to it in this way - I usually think life is really really hard these days.  Not so much physically, but emotionally and mentally.  I think I'm a little more free to be open about these feelings than most people, but I know there are tons of people out there that are upset over something in their life, whether it be small or large, too.  Only some 2% or a very small % of our population is a socio/psychopath.  From my understanding those are the only people on this planet that have ZERO compassion or care for others.  That means the other 98% all care about each other, even if only a little bit.  Most people probably don't realize what it is that makes them feel sad or angry too, they just get the feelings.  And not having a way to express those feelings and not having the right way to cope can lead to serious depression.  That said, I'm honestly surprised more people don't commit suicide.  Whether they feel extremely down and helpless, or the happiest they feel they can be (like you) they seem to know if they keep pushing there will always be more sad days to come.  But they keep pushing.  I keep pushing.  Sometimes I wonder why, but you only get one life as far as I know, you may as well just live it out and appreciate the periodic good times that come with it :smile:


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InvisibleTropism
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Registered: 09/12/09
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Re: happy endings [Re: Kickle]
    #18828192 - 09/11/13 02:59 PM (10 years, 5 months ago)

Quote:

Kickle said:
"If you want a happy ending, that depends, of course, on where you stop your story."

True or false?

From the earliest years most of us are pumped full of the idea that once you overcome the single source of evil in the world then you can live happily ever after.  But there is zero evidence of such a fairy tale to be found. No problem though, right? No one believes an evil witch has poisoned a princess after all. But how many believe in happily ever after? Do you? I mean really. If not, how do you cope? Does anyone else feel as though some sense of hope for a happily ever after is fundamental to healthy goal making and also a key motivator for achievement? If it is absent, then second fiddle of "happier than I am now" comes in? Doesnt this require some sense of permanence as well to be worthwhile? I mean, I can think of lots of ecstatic moments that put the present one to shame. But of course none of them lasted. And to make it my goal to return to them just to find myself reflecting on them after seems somewhat... ill conceived. Like a partial con that wouldn't quite fool me into any sense of a happy ending. And so I could cycle around and around chasing those brief moments and hoping that I can continue in that way until the end, and that does seem to be my current coping technique, but there is a voice gnawing which says, quit distracting yourself. You're turning a blind eye to something here.

Anyone relate?




To answer true or false I think we'd need a consistent definition of happiness, but more and more I notice this too and it gets to the point where you can see other people causing themselves misery all in this pursuit of happiness.
Isn't that twisted around on itself? Seems bassackwards.

Who filled our heads with this shit? Honestly is the question I'm starting to wonder.
If no one had proposed such a ludicrous thing as happy-ever-after maybe we would enjoy the simplicity of being without such scrutiny.
Maybe happiness is the acceptance of the whole wave, both the top and the bottom, and going with the flow now matter how low it gets.


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InvisibleRahz
Alive Again
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Re: happy endings [Re: Tropism] * 1
    #18828374 - 09/11/13 03:35 PM (10 years, 5 months ago)

I was going to mention the idea that the overarching story isn't a story at all but a series of stories. Life is many stories with many endings, and beginnings.

Some of them may be happy ones. :shrug:


--------------------
rahz

comfort pleasure power love truth awareness peace


"You’re not looking close enough if you can only see yourself in people who look like you." —Ayishat Akanbi


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InvisibleRepertoire89
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Re: happy endings [Re: Kickle]
    #18828763 - 09/11/13 04:59 PM (10 years, 5 months ago)

Not all massages end with a happy ending

As far as satisfaction goes, I've been wondering about it myself. Sometimes I've felt satisfied within some ideological bounds but I'm skeptical that I was ever truly content, Stockholm syndrome you know.



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OfflineKickleM
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Re: happy endings [Re: Repertoire89]
    #18828795 - 09/11/13 05:06 PM (10 years, 5 months ago)

:lol: ya I know


--------------------
Why shouldn't the truth be stranger than fiction?
Fiction, after all, has to make sense. -- Mark Twain


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InvisibleLunarEclipse
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Re: happy endings [Re: Repertoire89]
    #18829647 - 09/11/13 08:01 PM (10 years, 5 months ago)

Quote:

Repertoire89 said:
Not all massages end with a happy ending

As far as satisfaction goes, I've been wondering about it myself. Sometimes I've felt satisfied within some ideological bounds but I'm skeptical that I was ever truly content, Stockholm syndrome you know.






When getting jerked off
Becomes really getting jerked off
It's a bit like Dr. Jerkyl
Pulling Mr. Hyde


--------------------
Anxiety is what you make it.


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Invisiblecez
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Re: happy endings [Re: Kickle]
    #18831045 - 09/12/13 02:21 AM (10 years, 5 months ago)

Yes I relate.

I think your intitial quote is true.

I think in hindsight everything seems better than what it was.
Foresight is a good thing only to put us on a path in society.  Its nice to feel good about the future, but its just as fake as the hindsight rememberance.

Being content in the now is the happiest beginning and ending one can have.


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OfflineSpacerific
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Re: happy endings [Re: cez]
    #18832400 - 09/12/13 01:06 PM (10 years, 5 months ago)

This nice video called Seneca on Anger comes to mind. I like how it mentions a misguided sense of optimism, basically a delusion about reality, that most people suffer from and indulge in. They encourage their friends, kids, everybody, to indulge in it as well.



I've never understood some things about the way people raise children. Why are curse words taboo under a certain age? Why is nudity taboo? Seems to be just fine with kids in tribes, and has been for ages. Why would kids need to have information edited and sugar coated, instead of presented as it is?

I do agree with OP, some very confusing signals coming our way as kids, compared to what life actually brings later.


--------------------
Blessed are your eyes because they see, and your ears because they hear.



For truly, I say to you, many prophets and righteous people longed to see what you see, and did not see it,
and to hear what you hear, and did not hear it.
- Matthew 13:16


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InvisibleLunarEclipse
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Re: happy endings [Re: Spacerific]
    #18833927 - 09/12/13 07:35 PM (10 years, 5 months ago)

Quote:

Spacerific said:
This nice video called Seneca on Anger comes to mind. I like how it mentions a misguided sense of optimism, basically a delusion about reality, that most people suffer from and indulge in. They encourage their friends, kids, everybody, to indulge in it as well.



I've never understood some things about the way people raise children. Why are curse words taboo under a certain age? Why is nudity taboo? Seems to be just fine with kids in tribes, and has been for ages. Why would kids need to have information edited and sugar coated, instead of presented as it is?

I do agree with OP, some very confusing signals coming our way as kids, compared to what life actually brings later.




It's all a delusion.  There is no reality, therefore the happy ending exists.  Death does not exist, hence Santa Claus comes down the chimney and is truly the one eating cookies.


--------------------
Anxiety is what you make it.


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Invisiblequinn
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Re: happy endings [Re: Kickle]
    #18870752 - 09/21/13 03:39 AM (10 years, 5 months ago)

:heart:

Quote:

And so I could cycle around and around chasing those brief moments and hoping that I can continue in that way until the end, and that does seem to be my current coping technique,




i cant see much beyond this. coping techniques seem a necessity.. or maybe mine are too far ingrained... but i do recognize from behind them i can still enact positive things..

i don't really like the terminology of 'cycling' & 'chasing'.. i mean ppl often use it to denote something negative, a lack of progress or control. like a gambling addict or drunkard might be cycling or chasing something through their menial repetitions..

perhaps it can be used in positive ways too..? like how to learn new things you must cycle through old ones? how each new thing you learn transforms the old things... or something.

maybe cycles can expand or contract, or be open or closed..

Quote:

but there is a voice gnawing which says, quit distracting yourself. You're turning a blind eye to something here.



does the voice think there might be some way out..? perhaps....

a happy ending?


--------------------
dripping with fantasy


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