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InvisibleRepertoire89
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Posts: 21,773
Re: $200 hand job... [Re: broken] * 4
    #18825667 - 09/10/13 10:18 PM (10 years, 4 months ago)

Quote:

closed veil said:
Quote:

zee007 said:
So a question for all the straight males on the forum... What would you do? How would you handle this situation?





start flirting with this person.
draw it out a bit like a chick.
give him your number in a like a week, tell him you should have a beer or something sometime.
then, when you get him alone, away from work, punch him in his faggot face.




:pokerawe:


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OfflineGreySatyr
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Registered: 06/20/13
Posts: 3,376
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Re: $200 hand job... [Re: Repertoire89]
    #18825721 - 09/10/13 10:33 PM (10 years, 4 months ago)

So did OP swallow some spunk er what?


--------------------
...also, go to hell, huh?


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Offlinezee007
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Re: $200 hand job... [Re: Patlal]
    #18825814 - 09/10/13 10:57 PM (10 years, 4 months ago)

Okay... I've been dying to give a proper response to all these posts. Finally home! This is basically my synopsis, overall thoughts/opinions of this situation/thread.

First off I'll clear up some confusion. Also a bit of updated info after questioning my co-worker all day.

Co-Worker:
-Middle man
-not gay
-friend of Walmart dude

Walmart Dude:
-Wants to receive the dirty deeds
-Supposedly still lives with parents and has a ton of money saved up
-His dad supposedly owns or manages a car dealership, but yeah the car would still probably be a piece of junk (little over 1k)
-35 years old
-After looking at pictures this guy is like twice/three times my size
-Not just looking for a single hand job I was told and he will pay $200 for every HJ I give him

How I am handling this situation:

Well thinking about this entire predicament, rubbing some skin for $200 in my current financial predicament doesn't sound all that bad, except for the permanent mental damage and creepy factor, and me sucking another guys penis is too unbearable for me to even contemplate... Unless the price was a couple 100 thousand :strokebeard:.

Word probably wouldn't get out because this guy is a closet gay but I never even met this guy yet, and it is pretty clear this guy has some mental issues or some huge underlying problem. He could easily rape the fuck out of me because of his size, no way to know his actual intentions, may have STDs, the list goes on. I mean a fucking hand job for $200!? I feel like it wouldn't be that hard to find a more attractive as well as gay male to fuck for that price tag. Situation is pretty damn fishy IMO so, NO, I will not be following through with this...

:ifyoucanawe: $200 tho bro, you're broke as fuck, take the money... You wouldn't have to worry about rent or probation fees  :satan:

If I am confronted by him, which could very likely happen thursday, I wouldn't fight him unless he took physical action first where I would then scoop up 325-400 degree fryer oil with a cup and splash him with it if the very worst case scenario were to happen, which most likely won't. Anyway I'm just going to calmly tell him I am not interested even if he decides to raise the price :lol:, while I throw up a little in my mouth. 


Quote:

SoreSpore said:
Quote:

Sheekle said:
Quote:

watermelon mon said:
are you sure your coworkers is not messing with you op



that's a good question



a question that may be forever unanswered :waitingpatiently:




My Co-worker is not fucking with me... He is completely serious, he was texting walmart dude all day because the guy is so anxious to know If I am down. I saw the texts, and was asked three times by my co-worker If I would go through with this after telling him no every time.

Quote:

Enlil said:
Swallow your pride (among other things) and take the free car.




:lolsy: There is more than pride at stake here though.

Quote:

fapjack said:
This post is the first step towards you coming out of the closet and accepting that you are a gay.




Fucking mushrooms... :unwanted:

Quote:

Patlal said:
You know what OP. You already work a shitty job with a shitty corporation, just go a jerk off this idiot, grab the cash and store that memory in the "never to be opened again" part of your mind.




Again mushrooms... I plan on tripping again and that "never to be opened again box" seems to open up when I'm tripping.

:lol: Platlal I love what you've had to say throughout this thread.

***********************************

Anyway, still a little creeped out from this whole thing :feelsweirdman:, my original plans were  to attempt to milk this situation and brew up some way to sue this guy (actually I do have a few ideas) but I'm not that evil and I really would rather not put myself at risk.

:resignednonacceptance: Why is this happening to me? (rhetorical)


Edited by zee007 (09/10/13 11:00 PM)


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InvisibleSheekle
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Re: $200 hand job... [Re: zee007] * 8
    #18825820 - 09/10/13 11:01 PM (10 years, 4 months ago)

Quote:

zee007 said:
:blah: :blah:....my original plans were  to attempt to milk this situation and ... :blah:



:wellthatsweird:


--------------------
"Ur cat died because he hated u" - Koods
"I hope JSB kicks your ass one day." - Vandago
"you are the biggest 'internet guy' I have ever come across"- Jokeshopbeard
"The more I see you post the more I realize you're just this fuckin tie dye loser who trolls the Shroomery 24/7." - Herbologist
"Sheekle you cannot vile the dice of bullshit you have posted on this forum over the years, I like databases" - thelastoneleft
"or maybe i just come from a blood line of superior intelligence" - trees

R.I.P Kelsy, ?/?/?? - 6/11/16


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Offlinezee007
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Re: $200 hand job... [Re: Sheekle]
    #18825829 - 09/10/13 11:03 PM (10 years, 4 months ago)

Quote:

Sheekle said:
Quote:

zee007 said:
:blah: :blah:....my original plans were  to attempt to milk this situation and ... :blah:



:wellthatsweird:




Hahaha..

Aside from the joke "Original plans" I guess more like very first thoughts, my mind was thinking bout the bread.


Edited by zee007 (09/10/13 11:05 PM)


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OfflineGreySatyr
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Registered: 06/20/13
Posts: 3,376
Loc: North Carolina
Last seen: 9 years, 8 months
Re: $200 hand job... [Re: zee007] * 3
    #18825842 - 09/10/13 11:07 PM (10 years, 4 months ago)

DAMNWTF I STAYED UP FOR THIS BULL SHIT?!? Thought I was gonna get to read something along the lines of this guy threw me in a hole and told me to rub lotion on my skin type deal. Fuck this boring mundane turn of events, I'm goin to bed. Later guys! Way to ruin my night OP.


--------------------
...also, go to hell, huh?


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InvisibleClockCode
A Lonely Hypha


Registered: 11/12/12
Posts: 546
Loc: The Highest Desert
Re: $200 hand job... [Re: zee007]
    #18825851 - 09/10/13 11:10 PM (10 years, 4 months ago)

Milk it baby!


--------------------
Psilovibing


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InvisibleHobozen
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Registered: 11/03/11
Posts: 10,634
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Re: $200 hand job... [Re: zee007]
    #18825878 - 09/10/13 11:18 PM (10 years, 4 months ago)

Yur gonna get raped


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Offline28064212
Special Agent Dale Cooper
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Re: $200 hand job... [Re: Sheekle] * 2
    #18825959 - 09/10/13 11:50 PM (10 years, 4 months ago)

Quote:

Sheekle said:
Quote:

zee007 said:
:blah: :blah:....my original plans were  to attempt to milk this situation and ... :blah:



:wellthatsweird:




"This Situation" is what the guy calls his cock.


--------------------


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Offlinebroken
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Re: $200 hand job... [Re: 28064212]
    #18826052 - 09/11/13 12:37 AM (10 years, 4 months ago)

if my cock was a situation, i would go to the doc.


--------------------
:willynilly:


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Offlinest1llnox
dx'd PTSD/ADHD--please don't ask
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Registered: 11/27/12
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Re: $200 hand job... [Re: azur]
    #18826198 - 09/11/13 01:25 AM (10 years, 4 months ago)

Quote:

azur said:
Ha ha.  He works at Walmart yo.  I sucking a dick worth a chevette?  Quit being gay, get a better job, and buy a nice car.




It totally is. I'd eat a girl out, which is arguably nastier than you hetero's equivalent, sucking a dick*. It's more like a finger compared to eating out someone's mucous membranes. If they're uncut though it could be a different story as concerns blowjobs.

I'm going to be sexually violated by a chick on camera in a documentary that will be circulated worldwide (also doing a drug docu) and I'm doing it for free.

Which isn't to say there aren't reasons not to do this, but at the end of the day it's well worth it at this point (and I'm not finding the thought of you satisfying anyone*, so don't write off my input as having any such sort of bias; you're a pretty man but you're also my friend so that naturally, for me at least, kind of shuts off anything in my brain that might otherwise view you as a sexual object).

I'd do it.



* I'm gay, if you didn't infer, just to understand what I mean as regards that


--------------------
Back, bitches.
st1lln0x: so i'm on weed, temazepam, adderall, dexedrine, dxm, dph, alcohol, nicotine, caffeine, tryptophan, GABA, and kratom
Cavemen_savemen: st1lln0x, do you feel like a robot yet?
st1lln0x: I feel like a fucking Gundam
Click to friend me on Steam for Counter-Strike
:crankey: IS LIFE SKULLFUCKING YOU!? HAVE SOME FREE MORALE! :awesomenod:
Click if you want to feel you alone can do it! Click if you want to feel confident and beastly! Click if you want courage to let go and move on! And click the message if you need someone to talk to -- I'll understand, even if we "hate" each other on here :hug: :sun:


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Offlinest1llnox
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Re: $200 hand job... [Re: st1llnox]
    #18826270 - 09/11/13 02:02 AM (10 years, 4 months ago)

I just read your follow-up. I think you're making the right choice, but LITERALLY only because he might end up raping you and could easily do so. If it weren't for this caveat, I'd think less of you for being so foolish TBH.

Glad you realized the rape/kidnap/"whatever else creepy obsessives might do" contingency and are protecting yourself against this.


--------------------
Back, bitches.
st1lln0x: so i'm on weed, temazepam, adderall, dexedrine, dxm, dph, alcohol, nicotine, caffeine, tryptophan, GABA, and kratom
Cavemen_savemen: st1lln0x, do you feel like a robot yet?
st1lln0x: I feel like a fucking Gundam
Click to friend me on Steam for Counter-Strike
:crankey: IS LIFE SKULLFUCKING YOU!? HAVE SOME FREE MORALE! :awesomenod:
Click if you want to feel you alone can do it! Click if you want to feel confident and beastly! Click if you want courage to let go and move on! And click the message if you need someone to talk to -- I'll understand, even if we "hate" each other on here :hug: :sun:


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OfflineThe5thElement
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Registered: 07/01/12
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Re: $200 hand job... [Re: st1llnox]
    #18826308 - 09/11/13 02:26 AM (10 years, 4 months ago)

Op man think of it this way, you give 5 handjobs thats a cool 1000$

Think of all the bling you can purchase with that  :billnye:


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Offlinest1llnox
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Re: $200 hand job... [Re: The5thElement]
    #18826331 - 09/11/13 02:39 AM (10 years, 4 months ago)

Quote:

The5thElement said:
Op man think of it this way, you give 5 handjobs thats a cool 1000$

Think of all the bling you can purchase with that  :billnye:




This part really is worth perusing. Doing it in an almost-public enough place that rape wouldn't be a concern would remove this obstacle, which is your primary objection (or ought to be) and the only one you listed that I think is sufficient to miss out on this chance because of.


--------------------
Back, bitches.
st1lln0x: so i'm on weed, temazepam, adderall, dexedrine, dxm, dph, alcohol, nicotine, caffeine, tryptophan, GABA, and kratom
Cavemen_savemen: st1lln0x, do you feel like a robot yet?
st1lln0x: I feel like a fucking Gundam
Click to friend me on Steam for Counter-Strike
:crankey: IS LIFE SKULLFUCKING YOU!? HAVE SOME FREE MORALE! :awesomenod:
Click if you want to feel you alone can do it! Click if you want to feel confident and beastly! Click if you want courage to let go and move on! And click the message if you need someone to talk to -- I'll understand, even if we "hate" each other on here :hug: :sun:


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InvisibleTrentBoyett
Aspiring Mycologist
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Registered: 11/29/12
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Loc: Kazakhstan
Re: $200 hand job... *DELETED* [Re: zee007]
    #18826378 - 09/11/13 03:03 AM (10 years, 4 months ago)

Post deleted by TrentBoyett

Reason for deletion: Security.



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InvisibleLegend
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Re: $200 hand job... [Re: TrentBoyett] * 4
    #18826448 - 09/11/13 04:04 AM (10 years, 4 months ago)

:lolwut:


--------------------
No sympathy for the devil, keep that in mind.
[url=
]Buy the ticket, take the ride. [/url]
Are you lost?


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Offlinest1llnox
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Re: $200 hand job... [Re: Legend]
    #18826457 - 09/11/13 04:12 AM (10 years, 4 months ago)

Actually, do you really want to have to tell your mom and sister where you got that money and car? You seem already decided, so consider this if nothing more just a retraction of my assertion that you should do this.


--------------------
Back, bitches.
st1lln0x: so i'm on weed, temazepam, adderall, dexedrine, dxm, dph, alcohol, nicotine, caffeine, tryptophan, GABA, and kratom
Cavemen_savemen: st1lln0x, do you feel like a robot yet?
st1lln0x: I feel like a fucking Gundam
Click to friend me on Steam for Counter-Strike
:crankey: IS LIFE SKULLFUCKING YOU!? HAVE SOME FREE MORALE! :awesomenod:
Click if you want to feel you alone can do it! Click if you want to feel confident and beastly! Click if you want courage to let go and move on! And click the message if you need someone to talk to -- I'll understand, even if we "hate" each other on here :hug: :sun:


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Offlinezee007
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Registered: 11/15/12
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Re: $200 hand job... [Re: st1llnox]
    #18826463 - 09/11/13 04:18 AM (10 years, 4 months ago)

Yup. No explanation will be needed :smirk:


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OfflineHerbologist
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Registered: 05/09/10
Posts: 7,471
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Re: $200 hand job... [Re: zee007]
    #18827193 - 09/11/13 10:38 AM (10 years, 4 months ago)

You would go to do the HJ and immediately the circumstances would change.

You're gonna be almost done and he'll tell you no deal unless you take the load on your face.


--------------------
Shroomery Law:  Don't piss off the leftist mods & their friends! :banhamster:


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InvisibleEnlilMDiscord
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Re: $200 hand job... [Re: Herbologist] * 1
    #18827211 - 09/11/13 10:44 AM (10 years, 4 months ago)

I don't see that it makes any difference.  By the third stroke, he's officially gay, anyway...After that, he might as well go full throttle.


--------------------
Censoring opposing views since 2014.

Ask an Attorney

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