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Anonymous #1
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Feel like I missed the boat (dating)
#18821053 - 09/09/13 09:56 PM (10 years, 4 months ago) |
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I'm in my late twenties and have never really dated, mainly because I didn't have the confidence or the money to do so. I didn't even start getting laid until my early twenties but the more sex I have the more I've realized that I hate both safe sex and meaningless sex. For the first time I also feel composed enough as a person and open enough to the idea of sharing myself with another person that I feel like trying a monogamous relationship, but my longest to date was a month a half with some girl I met off the internet, and that was over a year ago.
I feel like there are major pieces to the dating thing that I should have learned a decade ago but didn't.
I feel like when I ask girls out right away they react defensively and say they have boyfriends regardless of whether or not they do. If I wait until I've gotten to know her on a few differnet occasions and then I ask her out, I either get friendzoned or fuckbuddied, and if I wait until after sex I come off as desperate or clingy. When I meet them off the internet I find out that so did my friend. And his friend. And his. Or we have a great time, great sex and then she's on to the next guy.
How the hell do I get a regular girlfriend that hasn't fucked half my city? Do you find it better to let it happen naturally, or do you take control and be direct with her? At what point would you ask out a girl that you've been talking to and flirting with for the better part of a day? Is there an internet site somewhere between 10x-1000x better than okcupid that I don't know about?
I can find a girl in three hours who will wear a leash and a ring gag while I fuck her face, but I try to find a regular girlfriend and it takes months. I have a great job, great physique, I'm not bad looking, I know how to dress and I'm intelligent. What am I doing wrong?
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koods
Ribbit



Registered: 05/26/11
Posts: 106,049
Loc: Maryland/DC Burbs
Last seen: 5 minutes, 38 seconds
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Re: Feel like I missed the boat (dating) [Re: Anonymous #1] 1
#18821141 - 09/09/13 10:26 PM (10 years, 4 months ago) |
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Stop worrying about supposed rules, and second guessing every decision and just go with your gut.
--------------------
NotSheekle said “if I believed she was 16 I would become unattracted to her”
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Sheekle
FREE BURKE



Registered: 01/11/10
Posts: 53,153
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Re: Feel like I missed the boat (dating) [Re: koods]
#18821148 - 09/09/13 10:28 PM (10 years, 4 months ago) |
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Quote:
koods said: Stop worrying about supposed rules, and second guessing every decision and just go with your gut.
best advice this thread is gonna have
-------------------- "Ur cat died because he hated u" - Koods "I hope JSB kicks your ass one day." - Vandago "you are the biggest 'internet guy' I have ever come across"- Jokeshopbeard "The more I see you post the more I realize you're just this fuckin tie dye loser who trolls the Shroomery 24/7." - Herbologist "Sheekle you cannot vile the dice of bullshit you have posted on this forum over the years, I like databases" - thelastoneleft "or maybe i just come from a blood line of superior intelligence" - trees R.I.P Kelsy, ?/?/?? - 6/11/16
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Rewindicus
Silly Goose



Registered: 06/05/11
Posts: 5,491
Last seen: 2 years, 2 months
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Re: Feel like I missed the boat (dating) [Re: Sheekle]
#18821996 - 09/10/13 04:00 AM (10 years, 4 months ago) |
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Yah man sounds like your overthinking. Its never too late to date an honestly who cares if a girl has fucked half the city. Thats experience in my book! Keep goin to bars keep tryin dating sites sometimes they work out.
One suggestion I have for you is try to get friends to set you up with some of their friends or join a coed sports team or community outreach/help organization. Theres more than bars an net for meeting people.
-------------------- “Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind.”- Dr. Seuss "Too much of a good thing, can be wonderful!" - Mae West "If you have nothing nice to say about anyone, come sit next to me." - Alice Roosevelt Longworth
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shaggyp
California Hottboi



Registered: 12/27/12
Posts: 454
Last seen: 1 year, 9 months
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Re: Feel like I missed the boat (dating) [Re: Rewindicus]
#18824853 - 09/10/13 07:18 PM (10 years, 4 months ago) |
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Yeah don't turn away a sexually open girl just because she has sex with lots of people.
It's lying that ends up causing a problem, not sexual experience.
-------------------- Burt Cocaine
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Anonymous #1
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Re: Feel like I missed the boat (dating) [Re: shaggyp]
#18824966 - 09/10/13 07:45 PM (10 years, 4 months ago) |
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I don't care if she's fucked half the city as long as she hasn't fucked half my friends in the last six months. 
Thanks for the advice guys.
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CounterCulturest
-Positive Mental Attitude-

Registered: 01/18/10
Posts: 3,662
Loc: Nesting on modems
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Re: Feel like I missed the boat (dating) [Re: shaggyp]
#18824969 - 09/10/13 07:46 PM (10 years, 4 months ago) |
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You definitely didn't miss any boat. Just experience. There are tons of people dating at you age. Think you're the only one ? Hah! you jus gotta find that movie and plug into it.
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brokentv

Registered: 03/02/12
Posts: 2,417
Last seen: 6 years, 8 months
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Re: Feel like I missed the boat (dating) [Re: Anonymous #1]
#18825332 - 09/10/13 09:05 PM (10 years, 4 months ago) |
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Story of my life man. I'm trying to get with the program too.
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rockylampoon
Animal



Registered: 05/06/12
Posts: 334
Loc: Land of the Midnight Sun
Last seen: 7 years, 7 months
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Re: Feel like I missed the boat (dating) [Re: brokentv]
#18831070 - 09/12/13 02:42 AM (10 years, 4 months ago) |
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It's cool. Dating is like standing outside a locked door with an enormous keychain. Some keys will not even fit the lock, some will fit and feel right, but won't get the door open. In the end, with a little bit of luck you will find a key that will do the trick. The difference is that it's fucking anoying to stand outside a locked door, dating can actually be awesome.
And uhm. Keep at it. Older single women are bitches, psychos, single mothers, egotistic career women and alcoholics. I like them, but they are not for everyone.
-------------------- I'll make sense when I run out of lemons. Until then I'll make lemonade.
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