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OfflineLEDenthusiast
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Registered: 09/19/12
Posts: 14
Last seen: 10 years, 3 months
Random change
    #18802581 - 09/05/13 09:20 AM (10 years, 5 months ago)

Hello everyone! First I'm going to give some background information so I can make better since of my problem I'm trying to resolve. I've been doing psychedelics and have been on my our journey for quite some time now, close to two years. I have been practicing meditation for sometime and could zone out or in quite easily for two hours. Getting more in tune with awareness. Recently though I had a trip where I realized I'm just a point of awareness and everything seemed as though it were a dream.Usually my lsd trips are not guided by me anymore but I rather let my subconcious flow with it without thought and resistance. Now my problem occurred afterwards when I told myself I know nothing and that I am just awareness. So I gave up all thought, knowledge, feeling and just simply existed with just awareness. I did this to play with my consciousness but dug a hole I was unready for. My problem now is that after doing so I feel stupid and have no grasp on my memory of the past year really. I can't seem to have deep thought or really thought period. I can no longer hear my thoughts and meditation is extremely difficult now filled with distractions. I fear I lost my "enlightenment", expanded awareness or justly myself. I feel like im on complete auto pilot and can't think for myself where before I was very secure with myself and had no worries or anxiety I guess you could say.
I told myself not to think about the past in order to stay more present but its now hard for me to be either.
Now I feel im in limbo with reality changing constantly. I don't much know how to feel. really i just want my thoughts clear

Could all this be caused by the fear of losing my awareness? Or just typical anxiety of thinking all this and having thought loops? It seems I just keep going on a downward spiral feeling more lost and keep downing myself.
I had a flow with the moment for some time, secure with myself, non judgemental, and never even embraced the idea of what others thought.

Now I feel i put up mental blocks and am self perpetuating myself into all this.

Just hoping someone could chime in with some advice.Thank you


Edited by LEDenthusiast (09/05/13 05:34 PM)


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OfflineSteelPanther


Registered: 05/28/12
Posts: 3,453
Loc: The Energy
Last seen: 8 years, 24 days
Re: Random change [Re: LEDenthusiast]
    #18804450 - 09/05/13 06:20 PM (10 years, 5 months ago)

That is called depersonalization/disassociation, why you feel like that I do not know. It could be that tripping triggered it or that you created it with your mind. Either way it will most likely go away with time, and having a better mindset and ignoring it will help.


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Everything I say on here is not true, I am an insecure person who lies about doing drugs and stuff to make myself feel good. So any illegal things I may have talked about are all fictional.


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OfflineLEDenthusiast
Stranger
Registered: 09/19/12
Posts: 14
Last seen: 10 years, 3 months
Re: Random change [Re: SteelPanther]
    #18815039 - 09/08/13 12:28 PM (10 years, 5 months ago)

it seems I keep getting lower throughout it all. I know it's all created by my mind but while descending it's hard to start a positive cycle. Any helpful tips on how to fix this or get reattuned with myself?


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OfflineSteelPanther


Registered: 05/28/12
Posts: 3,453
Loc: The Energy
Last seen: 8 years, 24 days
Re: Random change [Re: LEDenthusiast]
    #18815122 - 09/08/13 12:52 PM (10 years, 5 months ago)

Im not an expert on this but I know a little bit of helpful stuff. First exercise often, try to run 4-5 days a week and lift weights or do some sort of muscular exercise about 3 days a week. It really will help, not immediately but after a couple months it should make a good difference. Also try to go outdoors more and eat healthier. You have a body so that you can host your brain and keep it alive and maintained, if your not eating healthy your not using your body right to maintain your brain. Time is also a really big factor, your brain cannot change its ways, both physical and psychological quickly with ease, yes fast changes can happen but it is far more likely to take time. Also do things that bring you pleasure about 1 day a week or more, the more you feel emotions the more you will be reattached to yourself.


--------------------
Everything I say on here is not true, I am an insecure person who lies about doing drugs and stuff to make myself feel good. So any illegal things I may have talked about are all fictional.


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OfflineLEDenthusiast
Stranger
Registered: 09/19/12
Posts: 14
Last seen: 10 years, 3 months
Re: Random change [Re: SteelPanther]
    #18819455 - 09/09/13 04:08 PM (10 years, 5 months ago)

Well I made the change quickly. I just seem to have mind fucked myself and put up barriers. I keep psychoanalyzing myself and try to remember how i was or how my mindset was. i just feel in the void like i stuck my mind in a fog of stupidity. I feel i have lost my self and this creates anxiety i think which spirals the problem. I just need to stop this loop somehow and get back to myself.


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OfflineSteelPanther


Registered: 05/28/12
Posts: 3,453
Loc: The Energy
Last seen: 8 years, 24 days
Re: Random change [Re: LEDenthusiast]
    #18819818 - 09/09/13 05:35 PM (10 years, 5 months ago)

I had a similar problem the first time I smoked weed, I was very in tune with how my mind feels so because weed stays in your system a while but not as long as I thought it changed me, I thought I ruined myself. I was young at the time and thought I ruined my brain like your taught in school but I realized there was nothing I could do besides not smoking weed and going on with my life. I stayed depersonalized and disassociated for quite some time and slowly just either got used to it or it went away. Currently I am not depersonalized or disassociated so Im pretty sure it went away. Just focus on your life and being productive, you will be thankful later.


--------------------
Everything I say on here is not true, I am an insecure person who lies about doing drugs and stuff to make myself feel good. So any illegal things I may have talked about are all fictional.


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OfflineSpacerific
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Registered: 10/13/12
Posts: 4,923
Last seen: 8 years, 10 months
Re: Random change [Re: SteelPanther]
    #18821522 - 09/10/13 12:26 AM (10 years, 5 months ago)

Quote:

I keep psychoanalyzing myself and try to remember how i was or how my mindset was.



More doing, less thinking.

Focus on the process. When and where do you do most of your psychoanalyzing? I'm willing to bet good money it's alone indoors, with nothing imminent on your todo list and no timer ticking. If and when you have shit to take care of NOW, then somehow magically your mind focuses and there's no place for thinking about how you were 3 months ago, bitching about the good ol' days.

Take a notebook and a stopwatch (the one on your phone will do just fine) and head outdoors to do your thinking. Give yourself 2 sessions of psychoanalyzing a day if you feel you need it, it's good to have an analyzed life, just don't do it without paper, without aims, without a timer, alone indoors.

Oh and whoever you were a few months ago, that dude's dead. Say your bye-byes and move on because he's never coming back. Forward to your new identity is the only possible way to go. This is the side effect, and in fact the main effect of taking psychedelics. They are catalysts, active invitations for massive internal change. You sent out the invite, you got the change, now work with it. There's no going back only forward. Where do you want to go?

Your world, you choose how the puzzle pieces fit together from now on :slider: :teleport: :slider:


--------------------
Blessed are your eyes because they see, and your ears because they hear.



For truly, I say to you, many prophets and righteous people longed to see what you see, and did not see it,
and to hear what you hear, and did not hear it.
- Matthew 13:16


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OfflineSteelPanther


Registered: 05/28/12
Posts: 3,453
Loc: The Energy
Last seen: 8 years, 24 days
Re: Random change [Re: Spacerific]
    #18822317 - 09/10/13 07:47 AM (10 years, 5 months ago)

I completely forgot about that but after taking psychedelics you'r never going to be the same. I thought it was just a commonly known fact. So Spacerific is right, you just have to live your life as the new you. I personally feel like I woke up after I started using psychedelics, its sad to hear some people get a negative change.


--------------------
Everything I say on here is not true, I am an insecure person who lies about doing drugs and stuff to make myself feel good. So any illegal things I may have talked about are all fictional.


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OfflineLEDenthusiast
Stranger
Registered: 09/19/12
Posts: 14
Last seen: 10 years, 3 months
Re: Random change [Re: SteelPanther]
    #18824932 - 09/10/13 07:36 PM (10 years, 5 months ago)

that's the problem I did wake up. I truly awoke to my pure state and I started playing mind games with myself after a couple months. I was on my journey of self exploration and truly know what I am but lack the inner peace I once had from it. I feel like I've been shutting my mind down day by day and keep putting up blocks. For example I told myself remembering is a form of the past now I feel my awakening is gone and i think i've just set up all these barriers on myself and keep digging a hole. Im striving for the feeling I had for many months up until a trip where i made a change and  It's almost as if I forgot everything I learned from my journeying in the psychedelic realms. This is the main problem searching for something that I don't know can be searched for but it causes me to long for my previous mind state and compare myself at all times.I almost feel a fear or block trying to think about things. As far as psychoanalyzing I find myself doing this in movies, conversations with multiple people, swimming any time I'm questioning and analyzing. This is a new prospect to me as I've never analalyzed myself like this. it's almost as if I threw up barriers for myself to rebreakdown. Truly I just want my inner peace and clear perception but maybe wanting is the problem.  My main concern is a feel disassociated with myself as I feel a void in my emotion, recollection, and personality since i question myself constantly and compare.

I know there is no going back to that self because the self is constantly changing and our identity is somewhat false. My intelligence seems vacant and I went from secure about myself to quite the opposite. I understand I create my perception as well just need to get my thoughts on the right track.

I even thought about taking a big trip and see if I can break down everything and get it all reset on the right path. Once I get some positive loops arranged I might be more prone to doing so.

Thank you both for the helpful post, much appreciated.


Edited by LEDenthusiast (09/10/13 09:03 PM)


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OfflineSpacerific
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Re: Random change [Re: LEDenthusiast]
    #18825840 - 09/10/13 11:07 PM (10 years, 5 months ago)

OP, I think there are two important ideas you should hear about, and maybe try to apply in practice, if you like'em.

The first is the fact that most spiritual paths have calendars. They study and follow cycles. They don't do things once and expect it to work, they know whatever you do once works for so long, then you have to do it again or it stops working. Take me for instance, I went and did 4-5 Ayahuasca ceremonies. They do work. Aya is quite strong, potent. The ceremonies make you feel great and teach you many things, and you're on a roll for weeks and moths, better off because of them. But then again that feeling starts to fade, and you have to do it again, or go without. Or if you have 50 years to spend and a monastery, maybe that's cheaper for you :lol:

You yourself said that you started playing mind games with yourself after a couple of months. This right here tells you how long the afterglow of a good trip lasts for you. A couple of months. Then you go do it again. Nothing to it. That's how shamans do it, that's how tribals do it, that's how Native Americans and Santo Daime people do it, etc. Trip regularly. Trip with friends. Make a thing of it. Don't be lazy about your practice, it's good for you.

The second idea you need to know about is this:

Quote:

Set aside a certain number of days, during which you shall be content with the scantiest and cheapest fare, with coarse and rough dress, saying to yourself the while: "Is this the condition that I feared?"



It's a stoic idea, and IMO it definitely works. Spend time alone. Do what you fear. Have a shitty day or week.
What do you think, that you're made of glass? That your head will explode?  :header: :lol: 

I'm not going to say "stop trying to ..." because that's impossible, your head worries and struggles and makes mental noise by its own impulses. Instead, just go there. Let it go where it fears to go. Fully go there, have a shitty fucking time for a day or two or more, and see if the world will actually end (as you emotionally feel that it will, on some level). Once you do that, you'll stop wasting immense amounts of energy trying to prevent it. It's not that bad really, it just seems so if you put so much stress into avoiding it.

Alienate a few friends. Lose a few. No worries, you'll make others or reconnect with them again. Spend some alone time masturbating and eating junk food and feeling like shit if you need to. Wear the same underwear and don't shower for a week. Embrace your inner fuck-up. Visit rock bottom of your own free will, rather than fearing it. Then you'll be much more chill and able to cope with daily life.

And definitely trip again, it's a skill improved with practice :biggrin:


--------------------
Blessed are your eyes because they see, and your ears because they hear.



For truly, I say to you, many prophets and righteous people longed to see what you see, and did not see it,
and to hear what you hear, and did not hear it.
- Matthew 13:16


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InvisibleSleepwalker
Overshoes

Registered: 05/07/08
Posts: 5,503
Re: Random change [Re: Spacerific]
    #18826605 - 09/11/13 05:50 AM (10 years, 5 months ago)

Quote:

Spacerific said:
What do you think, that you're made of glass? That your head will explode?  :header: :lol: 

I'm not going to say "stop trying to ..." because that's impossible, your head worries and struggles and makes mental noise by its own impulses. Instead, just go there. Let it go where it fears to go. Fully go there, have a shitty fucking time for a day or two or more, and see if the world will actually end (as you emotionally feel that it will, on some level). Once you do that, you'll stop wasting immense amounts of energy trying to prevent it. It's not that bad really, it just seems so if you put so much stress into avoiding it.

Alienate a few friends. Lose a few. No worries, you'll make others or reconnect with them again. Spend some alone time masturbating and eating junk food and feeling like shit if you need to. Wear the same underwear and don't shower for a week. Embrace your inner fuck-up. Visit rock bottom of your own free will, rather than fearing it. Then you'll be much more chill and able to cope with daily life.

And definitely trip again, it's a skill improved with practice :biggrin:





:lol:  I love this post!


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OfflineLEDenthusiast
Stranger
Registered: 09/19/12
Posts: 14
Last seen: 10 years, 3 months
Re: Random change [Re: LEDenthusiast]
    #18829289 - 09/11/13 06:51 PM (10 years, 5 months ago)

My mind games had to do with altering my perception of reality though to an extent in which I feel I've lost myself. You are right though I have been trying to battle against it which is resistance. My main fear I feel is regaining the deeper understanding with myself and the world around me. Never questioning my self but simply flowing. More than anything I hate feeling this brain fog and the loss of my heightened state. This is what you may be referring to when you say it's a state post trip. I feel I gained my state without that but dug deeper using tripping.
I do not fear physical conditions just the loss of intelligence, memory, and my minds state.


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OfflineSteelPanther


Registered: 05/28/12
Posts: 3,453
Loc: The Energy
Last seen: 8 years, 24 days
Re: Random change [Re: LEDenthusiast]
    #18829346 - 09/11/13 07:02 PM (10 years, 5 months ago)

Just trip again, maybe it will solve the problem.


--------------------
Everything I say on here is not true, I am an insecure person who lies about doing drugs and stuff to make myself feel good. So any illegal things I may have talked about are all fictional.


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OfflineSpacerific
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Registered: 10/13/12
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Last seen: 8 years, 10 months
Re: Random change [Re: SteelPanther]
    #18830454 - 09/11/13 10:41 PM (10 years, 5 months ago)

I'd say trip again, if possible not alone, but with trippers that you like, that you want to learn from (or with). Set and setting are important, and so is company. With alcohol people quickly understood it's self-destructive to drink alone, or to drink in bad company. With psychedelics I think less emphasis is put on that, expecting the plant/substance to fix everything, with less thought and preparation on our part. Do your planning and preparing, you'll get far more out of tripping.

For me, some of the best and most helpful trips have been with "professionals" if I can call them that. Santo Daime Ayahuasca ceremonies. I suspect similar benefits would come from Native American Church sweat lodges with Peyote. Try to take part in these things, they are a world apart from you tripping alone on your couch. Or take shrooms/acid at a festival like Burning Man. The planning and effort to get there are part of the journey, the pilgrimage, but the results more than make up for it all, they're truly magical.

If worries keep plaguing you, try to be outside with people more, maybe in nature, and avoid spending too much time alone indoors. Most people find that this is the most likely situation where their thought processes go south.

So in short, when worrying, GTFO :lol:


--------------------
Blessed are your eyes because they see, and your ears because they hear.



For truly, I say to you, many prophets and righteous people longed to see what you see, and did not see it,
and to hear what you hear, and did not hear it.
- Matthew 13:16


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OfflineLEDenthusiast
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Registered: 09/19/12
Posts: 14
Last seen: 10 years, 3 months
Re: Random change [Re: Spacerific]
    #18834316 - 09/12/13 08:51 PM (10 years, 5 months ago)

I make my trips a very sacred experience indeed. I understand the set and setting aspect as well as mental prep work needed to guide your trip. I've been to festivals as well tripping. I think my main concern with myself is questioning if all the things I came to know are distractions or truth. Must I be aware of all the bad to be aware of all the good is a good way to express it. I'm around 10 people constantly on a farm which is new to me. Now most of these people are unhappy and I don't like to believe that people can bring you down or you become what your around but it seems true. Since my awareness has weekened I think I opened a gap for my "ego" or whatever you want to call it to come out. Things and judgement pop into my head which I haven't done in years as well as I have random flashbacks of memories throughout my life that I forgot ever happened. This is a weird time for me, a new mind set I've never experienced. Just out of whack with myself and beliefs which are hard for me to remember.

I've been able to meditate somewhat though again. Most of all thank you for the helpful comments.

Nice post count :grin:


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OfflineSpacerific
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Re: Random change [Re: LEDenthusiast]
    #18835378 - 09/13/13 01:31 AM (10 years, 5 months ago)

Quote:

I'm around 10 people constantly on a farm which is new to me. Now most of these people are unhappy and I don't like to believe that people can bring you down or you become what your around but it seems true.



Well of course it's true :lol:

Please expand on this people-on-the-farm situation. Something tells me that this is NOT your friendly hippie psychedelic commune, your little corner of paradise.

Are these people trippers? Do they think highly of tripping and shroomheads? Do you share enough common interests? Are these people you'd spend time with if you didn't have to right now?

These are INCREDIBLY important. Example: I've been to several nice voyages of psychedelic self-discovery. Festivals, ayahuasca sessions, mushrooming, on actual travels to other countries, for this purpose. It was awesome every time. Then I came back to a very boring small town, living in a boring way. Definitely not cool. The context you live in DOES drag you up or down, towards its level. In a few weeks or months, a crapp context WILL dispel the nice shroomy afterglow you came with. Being in a group you don't vibe with, or don't share views with, is NOT ideal, and you'll have a hard time thriving there I think.

You can use it as a learning experience, to develop patience, mental toughness and resilience, but be aware these are not ideal thriving conditions, so make plans to find some in the future.


--------------------
Blessed are your eyes because they see, and your ears because they hear.



For truly, I say to you, many prophets and righteous people longed to see what you see, and did not see it,
and to hear what you hear, and did not hear it.
- Matthew 13:16


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OfflineLEDenthusiast
Stranger
Registered: 09/19/12
Posts: 14
Last seen: 10 years, 3 months
Re: Random change [Re: LEDenthusiast]
    #18836270 - 09/13/13 10:06 AM (10 years, 5 months ago)

Well it's a Co-op cannabis type deal and I love being here but the people are rather downing. No common interest and none trip. I can't even think about getting into psychedelics here. All of them are filled with depression, anxiety, and insecurity. If I didn't have to be here for my work most likely I would not be around these people. The first month was fine and I enjoyed it fully,tried to vibe up everyone and help out but eventually it wore me out and then I just focused on the negative as well.
My main concern is I have seem to thrown myself out of my moment, my security with myself and consciousness, my unwavering confidence, and now I just question my self and thoughts. This is anxiety I know, but it occurred after a wonderful trip, I came here and told myself to empty completely to learn and see what it would be like on a blank slate, as reality perception is just a reflection of ourselves. So this went well until trying to return to a previous state of awareness and after failing to get back into my "flow" I realized I setup mental blocks to remembering myself and how I felt. I was a brick-wall before hand where others didn't affect my mental states but after I had felt I "lost" something and after the anxiety kicked in my wall of defense to others perceptions lowered and my ego has come back as a defense mechanism due to the insecurity of my state I believe. While I realized i have setup these blocks in my head and the thought of losing my heightened state probably makes it worse I constantly am analyzing to try and regain that state. Do you agree that this makes it worse? It seems I try and control my thoughts as well now instead of letting them just flow. I'm slowly trying to understand the patterns of thought I'm in now.
I just want to flip a switch and revert though :grin:


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OfflineSpacerific
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Registered: 10/13/12
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Re: Random change [Re: LEDenthusiast]
    #18840535 - 09/14/13 09:54 AM (10 years, 5 months ago)

a Co-op cannabis type deal = what exactly? Do you smoke weed regularly, together? Or growing it for other people to deal or what? IF there's ample weed to smoke for all involved, how can everybody be depressed?

I find this more and more curious, please try to be more clear as to what's factually happening there.

Do you have ANY people to connect with? Do you have a nice girl there to fool around with now and then? Is that some sort of 3rd country labor camp? If so, how come you have internets? :lol:

What you're explaining in those posts sounds to me a lot like the kinds of thoughts I get when I haven't tripped and/or been laid in a long time. Then when I do, I realize how off the mark my thoughts were, compared to the actual source of the problem. Not saying this is the same for you, it just was the case for me.

What's your exit strategy from this situation, if indeed it doesn't seem to be that fulfilling? How long are you going to spend there and what can you do to improve it, before moving on?

If anything, I'd stop trying to change internal thoughts directly (if it seemed counterproductive so far) and maybe work on external things for a while. Try to change where you hang out, with whom, doing what, perhaps hit some new self improvement material for some brand new ideas to try. Is your daily work rewarding? If yes, focus more on that. If not, give it a serious overhaul, in the sense of how you approach it. Measure it differently, find people to compete with, metrics to monitor and optimize, etc.

You know that feeling when you find a new passion, amazing project, new girl that digs you and you dig her, how there are the exact same problems happening around you, but they simply stop mattering? I suggest you start to keep your eyes peeled for exactly that. Something new, that you've never noticed before, or that might come along now that you're looking for it. New awesome hobbies, exit strategies, girls with nice curvy parts and big hearts, find some awesome things like that to play with.


--------------------
Blessed are your eyes because they see, and your ears because they hear.



For truly, I say to you, many prophets and righteous people longed to see what you see, and did not see it,
and to hear what you hear, and did not hear it.
- Matthew 13:16


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OfflineLEDenthusiast
Stranger
Registered: 09/19/12
Posts: 14
Last seen: 10 years, 3 months
Re: Random change [Re: LEDenthusiast]
    #18840783 - 09/14/13 11:25 AM (10 years, 5 months ago)

atm weed throws me out of wack. Only 2/10 people here smoke myself included. The one I do smoke with only wishes to talk about work and complain about it.
It's just a farm that harvest and gives it out to patients. 5/10 of the people here is one family, 3 kids, 2 adults. They came here due to not working for a year and running out of money. They despise weed and frown upon anyone using it. They're simply here to find jobs and get on there own.
When harvest comes I'll be leaving after and getting my own place.
As far as girls if I didn't feel like I was in limbo and losing myself day by day then that would be doable but i'm in to weird of a phase for that. None of these things bothered me until I played with my mind.
When I arrived I was confident, new myself, and had no doubts. It's more so a new thing after my mind fuckery. My main problem is going back and trying to remember how I was. I seem to be letting others affect me and my perceptions. I know my thoughts are off extremely so. That is the problem. I just feel out of whack with myself.

I know that this will all end and everything will get better, it's really not so bad here. I just lost the inner me when i changed, no grounding. That's the root of it all. Fear of loss of myself and trying to find it again. After a good trip and ego death I'll straighten out but that will be another couple months from now.


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OfflineSpacerific
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Re: Random change [Re: LEDenthusiast]
    #18843282 - 09/15/13 03:05 AM (10 years, 5 months ago)

So you're working on a farm that creates wonderful medical marijuana, making the world a better place for all, and everybody fucking hates it? :lol:

Are you in the US or Europe? Can I come over and brighten up the mood, while learning about growing herb? I'll totally work with you at that shitty farm, turn it into the wonderful place it could be. Frowners and haters included. What you are doing there is a good thing, and the problem is with their warped state of mind, not yours.

If I were you I'd get all the colorful weed-related t-shirts and posters and room decorations that I could. Wear colorful weed bracelets, to remind you that yes, you believe in the power of the herb. I would start humming a few nice Bob Marley songs and lyrics as I work, to keep a good vibe going. By the gods! A fucking weed growing operation, to help the sick and needy. You're practically Jesus over there!!!

I don't know how to tell you to stop chasing the illusion of your former self, it's like a butterfly trying really hard to get back into its cocoon and be a caterpillar again. That's not the way it goes, you go forward, go with the flow.

Don't smoke with anybody complaining about anything. Smoke alone, smoke with good good music, and write. Draw. Dance. Whatever. Get yourself some colorful paints and try your hand at some nice leaves, hearts, stars, etc. It really helps fill the time in a nice way, and improves your room. Make a colorful little corner, an oasis of herbal joy for yourself. Fuck the others, draw your line in the sand and stick with it. If they have jobs and are doing something the world really needs, and all they can do is complain, then fuck them. I have endless contempt for clearheads who just hate what they don't even know about. Mentally unwashed hoi polloi as far as I'm concerned, the lowest form of ignorant peasants and rednecks.

As far as I'm concerned, you're the only chill sane person over there, and I hope you start seeing that fact soon.

Henry Ford had a saying that IMO goes well here. Don't complain, don't explain. Try to post it somewhere to see it daily, and draw green pot leaves and little colorful hearts around it, that'll brighten up your day :lol:

About girls, get out there, interact, even if you crash and burn. You have say a 50/50 chance of something happening, or whatever it is, it's way larger than 0. It will get you out of that crappy environment from the haters and complainers, and among normal regular people again.


--------------------
Blessed are your eyes because they see, and your ears because they hear.



For truly, I say to you, many prophets and righteous people longed to see what you see, and did not see it,
and to hear what you hear, and did not hear it.
- Matthew 13:16


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