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itchmynipple
;)

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beating pyschosis n ptsd *DELETED*
#18745059 - 08/23/13 12:01 AM (10 years, 5 months ago) |
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Post deleted by itchmynippleReason for deletion: done with it
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circastes
Big Questions Small Head


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I thought I could help my schizophrenia with drugs. I was just being really naive. Anything that changes brain chemistry will worsen your psychosis unless it has been proven to do the opposite ie. antipsychotics, for no real reason anyone knows. Brain chemistry is extremely delicate, your brain is after all the most complex object in the known universe. If you have psychosis/schizophrenia that's proof you have brain which cannot balance the chemicals very well for some genetic reason, so if you perturb it with anything except things which seem to have the opposite effect of schizophrenia, it will only get more imbalanced. LSD, Mushrooms, etc. all have a SIMILAR effect to schizophrenia.
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Psilopsychosis



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^wisdom
Quote:
itchmynipple said: Most people would say if shrooms gave you pyschosis, then to stay away, but I can't help but feel like shrooms can help me...
First time I took shrooms I took 8th, a little intense but I loved it
Second time I took half an 8th n loved it
Third time I took 10 grams n did not love it at all, n was mentally scarred.
Honestly, I feel like if I did half n 8th n love it like I know I will, that would help recovery..
I heard Molly is good in small doses too for people like me... Any clue?
10 grams is a massive dose man. What did you think was going to happen? You can't really screw around and take massive doses with shrooms if you have mental illness. Maybe a few very light trips might help but a 10 gram trip isn't going to do anything good. I haven't taken shrooms since I got psychosis soooooo... listen to circastes.
Mdma might help with the ptsd but the draining of serotonin is going to make you feel terrible after. I don't know dude, I wouldn't do it.
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iarphairc
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How does psychosis affect you guys? I always wondered what its like day-to-day?
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circastes
Big Questions Small Head


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Re: beating pyschosis n ptsd [Re: iarphairc]
#18753814 - 08/25/13 01:38 AM (10 years, 5 months ago) |
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Mine isn't exactly chronic. The flat affect is pretty constant but it seems to come depending on what I'm doing, if it's high stress and unfamiliarity it gets reeeeeal fucking trippy.
I went into the city the other day and that was alright but when I got back to a smaller town I was getting tired and I was basically in some weird basement of the mind is how I would describe it, like I was in some story and I was in the sewers. Everything has a different colour spectrum, it's very odd, everything seems particularly fake and unreal, just a passing dream. Anxiety gets a hold of me and I get this bad headache. The anxiety is the most fucked anxiety, it's like pure fear, not mixed with any calming agents, not going too far and making you scream and shout, but pure fear that just burns you inside.
On the way home it passed as I calmed down and relaxed.
The main thing for me is the weird otherwordly feel to these episodes. It's a very kind of disgusting otherworldliness, in the sense that it is clearly not meant for human experience, it's just your biocomputer brain shitting bricks.
Most of the time though there is a chronic element actually, in the form of persecution. I am constantly under scrutiny, and if I let my thoughts just flow they start to present conspiracies to me and suggest I am in danger.
It blows but it's healing quickly.
If you have experienced any of this please give it up, haha, just give up drugs. No ifs or buts. Schizophrenia is a dark, dark place.
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iarphairc
Stranger Danger



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Re: beating pyschosis n ptsd [Re: circastes]
#18754215 - 08/25/13 06:48 AM (10 years, 5 months ago) |
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That is a very scary description circastes.
I don't think I suffer those symptoms. My issues seem completely different fortunately
-------------------- The secret of freedom lies in educating people, whereas the secret of tyranny is in keeping them ignorant- Maximilien Robespierre
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circastes
Big Questions Small Head


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Re: beating pyschosis n ptsd [Re: iarphairc]
#18754664 - 08/25/13 10:20 AM (10 years, 5 months ago) |
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I first got it when I smoked cannabis in a swimming pool. It's so fucking dark. This lady was watching me and she looked really, really shocked at how I was behaving, my friends were too stoned to notice me.
Bad times. No more drugs for me.
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Psilopsychosis



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Re: beating pyschosis n ptsd [Re: iarphairc] 1
#18776023 - 08/30/13 03:32 AM (10 years, 5 months ago) |
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For me psychosis has four maybe five parts.
First thing is that you need to recognize that the 3D video w/ smell and feelings that your senses create isn't always correct. Not to say you in particular, just every brain. It is impossible for the brain to constantly be omniscient of everything that goes on around it. So it fills in the blanks. Imagine you are a bus talking to someone. The only new info that is updating your reality is what is being said to you as well as the movement outside. The brain just makes the logical step that everything else is probably the same way it was a moment ago when the information reached it. So a smooth, sensation video is created. My video is not so smooth. I constantly notice glitches in my perception, especially when it gets dark. It also seems that I notice more things that others usually miss. Changes to people's behaviour and emotions while talking to them mostly. I honestly don't see this as much a problem, it is kinda cool.
Second we have the delusions. Do you ever have that feeling that a lightbulb clicks on in your head when you get a cool idea? My lightbulb is constantly clicking ridiculously good, insightful ideas into life. The problem is that these ideas need further consideration to dissect how logical they are. Sometimes when I am in a hypomanic mood my brain fires from one idea to the next, these ideas constantly building on each other, spiraling in weird places. These spirals have a major grandiose element. So this isn't a problem as long as I constantly dissect and keep aware of my thought patterns.
Next we have the mood. Sometimes everything will be so fucking beautiful and life will be so awesome and I will wake up everyday looking forward to the coming day. Then sometimes I will remember how lonely I am and how I feel like I don't belong in this civilization. So I have both elements to my personality and one usually rises to the surface for the time being.
Next is the insomnia. Blegh Drives me nuts man. I started taking melatonin which helps a bit. I hate the ativan the doctors give me, makes me feel more crazy than anything else. In my hubris I used to say I conquered it. So wrong I was.
Last of all and the trippiest is my perception of time. This is the only thing that changes when I take my meds really. When not taking meds I am conscious of and can control my perception of time. It not like I can freeze time just that I can step into infinity for a moment to give me some extra time to think. Very trippy.
Fuck meds man. They suck. Im apparently developing tardive dyskinesia manifesting as involuntary jaw movements. Fuck.
TL:DR my life is a big long shroom trip.
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iarphairc
Stranger Danger



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So has it been a MAJOR negative to your life, an inconvenience or somewhere in between?
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Psilopsychosis



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Re: beating pyschosis n ptsd [Re: iarphairc]
#18776212 - 08/30/13 06:20 AM (10 years, 5 months ago) |
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It has been an inconvenience that has had some major positive aspects with a few positive ones.
So to answer your question it has been somewhere in between.
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Psilopsychosis



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Re: beating pyschosis n ptsd [Re: iarphairc]
#18776213 - 08/30/13 06:21 AM (10 years, 5 months ago) |
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What about you?
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itchmynipple
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honestly, its hard to label myself because i honestly feel like i could legitly be labeled 10 things, n could take ten different pills for each n get a different effect regardless.
ive felt better since getting off of cymbalta...
i might do shrooms again, i know i felt amazing after i took half n 8th..
i just need good vibes... i tripped with my ex last time when i took ten grams n she was always stressing me out so i was stressed in general when i took them... i think n 8th of shrooms will allow me to express myself without thinking to much when doing it.. i think thats become my problem since taking 10 grams n tripping bad is becoming paranoid about things n people themselves.
i dont believe chemicals stay the same, i do think the brain is complex enough to change into something 'good' if it had the ability to change into something 'bad' just that that 'good' might be a little different then the previous good'
bonestly, its because im not too 'proud' of anything anymore..
slow time in my life, and weed brings out my pyschosis... because of habbits formed being alone smoking it n getting lost in my mind for hours n horus n hours every day for a long time....
but i think once i quit, drop some weight, gain some muscle, n am doing good in school ill feel better about how i percieve me, n how others percieve me...
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iarphairc
Stranger Danger



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Dont have it as far as I'm aware
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circastes
Big Questions Small Head


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Re: beating pyschosis n ptsd [Re: iarphairc]
#18811870 - 09/07/13 02:50 PM (10 years, 5 months ago) |
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I think maybe taking 10 grams will give anyone some kind of psychotic experience, persisting into the next day a little bit, and the traumatic element of it may make you really anxious which is sort of misinterpret-able as psychosis.
Maybe you never got psychosis? You just went too hard and we all have different thresholds of what we can take on a hardware level.
Antipsychotic meds don't suck so much, they made it through research and trials and for me they do something significant to make me stop having these constant paranoid thoughts.
SSRIs/SNRIs antidepressants etc. are pretty worthless in my experience. My brain doesn't respond to them.
But yeah just take it easy, like one dose every 4 or 6 months or something, and you'll probably be okay. If however there are any persecutory themes in your life and you're an otherwise nice person, schizophrenia is peeking in...
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CrimpJiggler
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Re: beating pyschosis n ptsd [Re: circastes]
#18811887 - 09/07/13 02:57 PM (10 years, 5 months ago) |
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I have heard of cases of iboga curing psychosis. Many cases of it curing PTSD. I heard from one guy who says that he was in psychosis for a year after a datura trip, and iboga brought him back to normal. I hear kambo helps too. I get psychosis from cannabis, but not mushrooms or any other psychedelic I have tried.
circastes: while I probably have never experienced anything like what you described, I kind of understand when you say "disgusting otherwordliness" and "something never meant to be part of human experience". Maybe it is all meant to be though. Maybe the physical side of things is just an illusion created in order to explain the whys and hows, similar to how false memories are created in dreams in order to explain the current situation. An illusory sequence of events leading to the now. My respect goes to you. Can't imagine what it must be like living with psychosis on a regular basis. Never had it for more than a few hours myself and only a handful of times.
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Edited by CrimpJiggler (09/07/13 03:11 PM)
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FishOilTheKid
Ascended


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Will you explain what you experience if you haven't already?
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circastes
Big Questions Small Head


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It's funny you know sometimes I feel utterly trapped, then I remember the Self, the Reality, and everything is fine, but it's when I try to be productive that the thought disorder shows.
I often get it all perfect for myself then some weird bizarre thought will set off this spiral of confusion and I can't throw it off.
I honestly think that if you reside in the Self it will cure all ills preventing your being from continuing to experience the Self.
I think my recovery has been massively accelerated by knowing the Reality, God, Self... the love I feel, I believe love decreases entropy in the body and immediate environment. Disease like schizophrenia is obviously entropy so love should deal with it much better than anything else. It's just a matter of totally hovering over that state of mind, that state of perfect cosmic love, and the faster I get better. This is why I say I'm getting better quickly.
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Psilopsychosis



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Re: beating pyschosis n ptsd [Re: circastes]
#18819686 - 09/09/13 05:02 PM (10 years, 5 months ago) |
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itchmynipple saidQuote:
i dont believe chemicals stay the same, i do think the brain is complex enough to change into something 'good' if it had the ability to change into something 'bad' just that that 'good' might be a little different then the previous good'
This is so true man. I completely agree.
Quote:
bonestly, its because im not too 'proud' of anything anymore..
slow time in my life, and weed brings out my pyschosis... because of habbits formed being alone smoking it n getting lost in my mind for hours n horus n hours every day for a long time....
but i think once i quit, drop some weight, gain some muscle, n am doing good in school ill feel better about how i percieve me, n how others percieve me...
This is a good plan man. Do all that you said then use tripping as a sort of glue to cement the progress of your recovery in place. Don't dose too heavy. Good luck and good vibes.
Circastes said: Quote:
I think my recovery has been massively accelerated by knowing the Reality, God, Self... the love I feel, I believe love decreases entropy in the body and immediate environment. Disease like schizophrenia is obviously entropy so love should deal with it much better than anything else. It's just a matter of totally hovering over that state of mind, that state of perfect cosmic love, and the faster I get better. This is why I say I'm getting better quickly.
Id agree with that... love is what holds this universe together.
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circastes
Big Questions Small Head


Registered: 01/14/10
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Yeah it really is. It's astonishing really.
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Psilopsychosis



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Re: beating pyschosis n ptsd [Re: circastes]
#18820743 - 09/09/13 08:45 PM (10 years, 5 months ago) |
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