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Psilopsychosis



Registered: 07/06/13
Posts: 717
Loc:
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Re: Schizophrenia and spirituality [Re: Metapod]
#18848225 - 09/16/13 09:26 AM (10 years, 4 months ago) |
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HeartAndMind said: I thought vegan and vegetarian are same. I was vegetarian not vegan.
Yeah, I don't like factory farming either, it makes me sad to think about it.
I'm doing good, thanks for asking. Thinking about moving out of country now because it's hard to set up own life here. Probably will go somewhere to Scandinavia if possibility will be open.
Just listened to their song 'Feels Like We Only Go Backwards'. Really nice psychedelic rock 
How are you doing?
Where in Scandinavia are you thinking. I can dig moving away, I really want to spend at least a few years living in the jungles of South and Central America.
I am actually doing really well right now. If had to quantify my mood I'd say I am on a solid cloud seven. I was on this drug ziprasidone and I was having a lot of side effects. It sucked. Brain shivers, restlessness, anxiety, tardive diskinesia and nausea to name a few. So I switched to abilify and had a very rough few weeks where all my side-effects got worse (ziprasidone is weird because the side-effects get worse lower the dose is) and a lot of depression came to the surface. Now I am feeling great and have no noticeable side effects from the abilify. It kinda sucks having to eat pills every day but it is only going to be another year or two at most and then I will be off meds completely.
Tame Impala is great I just discovered them the other day.
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Metapod said: this post is quite interesting i don't know if it's a result of my own psychosis and delusions too...BUT
just moments ago I was actually thinking about how shitty my DXM-induced hppd symptoms and visual snow are and how I might be displaying symptoms of early-onset schizophrenia, and also how it may be connected to my modern shamanism....i.e. Those into psychedelics THROUGHOUT history are essentially human beings who desire to stare into the void, and thos of us who are doin psychs now are techno-shamans if you will
Your HPPD doesn't have to turn into psychosis. HPPD isn't considered a psychosis because the person with the condition doesn't believe that the visual problems they are seeing are real. When I still my mind and let my HPPD come to the surface I see the ground breathe in and out as it does when you take shrooms. If I where to believe that I have super powers and are more enlightened than other people so I can see mother earth breathing... that would be psychosis. If I were to come to the conclusion that the brain can only be conscious of a few things at a time and it normally fills in the blanks and creates a smooth 3D image but my brain from eating shrooms is conscious of these discrepancies and they manifest in my vision as movement, among other things.
See what I did there?
Psychosis is all about the thought process,
I am going to disagree with the idea that those who use psychedelics are techno shamans. I am the only person I have ever met in the real world that takes drugs(mushrooms for instance) to connect with the spiritual. most people only use to get fucked up and that makes me kinda disappointed. Maria Sabina said that after the white man found out about psilocybin mushrooms she lost her connection with the gods and the ancestor spirits. Psychedelics IMO should not be used for fun, they should be used for healing, inspiration, or to develop a connections with other spirits be they material or immaterial, humble yourself by staring into the void. Or to find God, if you into that. That being said, there is no way to avoid how much fun they are.
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I would actuallx recommend listening to Aphex Twin's Selected Ambient Works 2 (the whole things on youtube), while under the influence of some mind-altering substance. I contacted astral alienss on a 4th plateau dex trip once, while listening to that album....more like allowing the vibrations called "sound" enter my ear drums, etc. ,etc.
I hope the above madeany kinda sense.
What is the "4th plateau"? I've never robotripped before I was more into psilocybin.
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edit: I'm also currently doing my first sleep-deprivation experience/experiment because I'm getting clean of all substances (including nicotine and caffeine), and feel like experiencing some sort of high, I'm about 27 hours in, and hearing my name being called through a tiny wire which pierces my pineal gland from right to left
Take it from someone who has done a 120+ no sleep cycle, sleep deprivation is fucking stupid. It is right up there with anorexia, bulimia and huffing fucking solvents as the worst things you can do to your brain. The brain needs sleep; the computer needs to reboot. Be careful man.
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HeartAndMind


Registered: 01/09/10
Posts: 1,410
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Where in Scandinavia are you thinking. I can dig moving away, I really want to spend at least a few years living in the jungles of South and Central America.
I am actually doing really well right now. If had to quantify my mood I'd say I am on a solid cloud seven. I was on this drug ziprasidone and I was having a lot of side effects. It sucked. Brain shivers, restlessness, anxiety, tardive diskinesia and nausea to name a few. So I switched to abilify and had a very rough few weeks where all my side-effects got worse (ziprasidone is weird because the side-effects get worse lower the dose is) and a lot of depression came to the surface. Now I am feeling great and have no noticeable side effects from the abilify. It kinda sucks having to eat pills every day but it is only going to be another year or two at most and then I will be off meds completely.
Tame Impala is great I just discovered them the other day.
I really would like to go to any Scandinavian country, they are all nice. It sucks indeed to take pills everyday. I take olanzapine, but soon I'll be off from it.
Do you want to participate in Ayahuasca ceremonies in the jungles also?
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circastes
Big Questions Small Head


Registered: 01/14/10
Posts: 8,781
Loc: straya
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Re: Schizophrenia and spirituality [Re: HeartAndMind]
#18854011 - 09/17/13 03:16 PM (10 years, 4 months ago) |
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-------------------- My solitude... My shield... My armour... TESTED WITH FULL FORCE
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Psilopsychosis



Registered: 07/06/13
Posts: 717
Loc:
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Re: Schizophrenia and spirituality [Re: HeartAndMind]
#18854921 - 09/17/13 06:49 PM (10 years, 4 months ago) |
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If I went to Loreto which is Peru's rainforest territory I would probably not be able to go with your normal, westerner ayahuasca retreat in Iquitos because of my history with mental illness. Most reputable ayahuasca retreats do not let people with schizophrenia or bipolar to partake. I would feel bad lying about my psychosis with people who are supposed to be my guides... And the not reputable ones would leave me stranded in the jungle if things got tough.
I wouldn't live in Iquitos though, I would go deep into the jungle and live with the natives. The difference between the ayahuasqueros, the modern day shamans and ayahuasqueros of the jungles, the legit native medicine men is immense. The people who call themselves shamans or techo-shamans take drugs find some meaning then come back to "reality" and are normal again. The legit medicine men living like their ancestors did, would be labeled schizophrenic or bipolar or schizo-affective bipolar(like me!) but they live every day in a completely different world, filled with spirits, animals, ancient trees and elusive herbs and fungi. More then anything, I want to learn form these people and help them preserve their way of life from the twin juggernauts of civilization and progress. So I am going to study forestry.
The biggest problem is that a Canadian man would not be welcome by the native people. Canadian mining companies are raping that region of the Amazon rainforest as we speak and the natives are fighting back. It could turn into a civil war. The people living at the headwaters of the Amazon fought the Incas for centuries and they fought the Spanish.
Also there is a lot of cocaine that is produced there (more than Columbia) so it can be a very, very rough place.
I would very much like to live in Peru, but first I think I will make a name for myself in Ecuador. Ecuador is the coolest place on earth. Did you know that it is the only place on earth where the environment has a right to evolve? I am completely serious.
So yes I plan on taking part of ayahuasca ritual but I will wait until the time is right.
I love Canada but I dream of the jungle.
I don't know much about Scandinavia to be honest but I know Norway has been using very progressive forestry practices to keep their awesome forests intact since the 1800s. I bet the people there are chill.
Do you speak the language? I sure as hell need to learn Spanish.
Edited by Psilopsychosis (09/17/13 06:50 PM)
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HeartAndMind


Registered: 01/09/10
Posts: 1,410
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Cool. I want to participate in one of Ayahuasca ceremonies too. Would love to move and live in nature sometimes in the future too I don't really speak any of Scandinavian languages, but english is pretty common there I heard. Norway is costy country to live in, but you can make good amount of money there too.
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Psilopsychosis



Registered: 07/06/13
Posts: 717
Loc:
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Re: Schizophrenia and spirituality [Re: HeartAndMind]
#18857035 - 09/18/13 08:15 AM (10 years, 4 months ago) |
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HeartAndMind said: Cool. I want to participate in one of Ayahuasca ceremonies too. Would love to move and live in nature sometimes in the future too:) I don't really speak any of Scandinavian languages, but english is pretty common there I heard. Norway is costy country to live in, but you can make good amount of money there too.
Id say go for it. You only got one life to live, might as well do something awesome. Good luck dude in your future travels...
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HeartAndMind


Registered: 01/09/10
Posts: 1,410
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 Thanks. Same to you
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CrimpJiggler
Stranger

Registered: 08/28/11
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Re: Schizophrenia and spirituality [Re: HeartAndMind]
#18959171 - 10/10/13 12:28 PM (10 years, 3 months ago) |
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I had my first 2 ayahuasca ceremonies last week. Did it with the Santo Daime church. I struggled quite a bit, but it changed me for the better in subtle ways. Had to go to another country since theres no church nearby, so I'm probably going to start drinking by myself once a month or so, and attend SD ceremonies whenever I can afford to take a trip abroad.
Psilopsychosis: They say they're weary of people with a history of psychosis, but I'm sure if you got to know them, they would let you attend the ceremonies, and there you will be surrounded by genuinely good people who will look out for you, and offer assistance if you are struggling. If psilocybe mushrooms aren't a problem for you, then I don't see why ayahuasca would be.
-------------------- …...,~__________________, ,. ….../ `—___________—-___]Give a man a gun …../_==o;;;;;;;;_______.:/he can rob a bank. …..), —.(_(__) / ….// (..)),```` …//__/Give a man a bank,he can rob the world! .//__/
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Memories



Registered: 05/09/12
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Re: Schizophrenia and spirituality [Re: CrimpJiggler]
#18960345 - 10/10/13 04:47 PM (10 years, 3 months ago) |
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CrimpJiggler said: I've stayed up too long on meth and smoked cannabis a few times, and this has sends me into a full blown psychotic episode. I'm prone to cannabis induced psychosis as it is, so the combination of the meth induced sleep deprivation and the cannabis really sends me off my rockers. They have been the scariest experiences of my life hands down, but also some of the most spiritually awakening experiences. I would be getting terrorized by hallucinations for hours on end, and eventually I'd just accept defeat and surrender. It was only years later that I started to understand the spiritual implications of all this. It wasn't me that was being assaulted by the hallucinations, it was my ego. Wasn't me that was struggling to survive, it was my ego.
I remember listening to this song during and after one of the experiences:
hearing it again brings back all the bizarre, alien emotions that came with that state. Its like that tune was made to be listened to in the psychotic state. The state where everything has deep spiritual meaning below the surface. I remember thinking that what happens in this 3D world is just ripples caused by what is going on in the spiritual world, and that the pain and suffering we feel here (the illusory 3D world), has its source in the spiritual world (the real world) and thinking about how sad it was that everyone is deluded into thinking the source of their pain can be comprehended with the 3D mind and at the same time how awesome it is that this pain is the very thing that ultimately forces us to drop all the pettiness and surface bullshit and see what we are underneath: psychonautical warriors. These experiences were years ago, but I can't shake the feeling that I may have been seeing the truth. Maybe I've been like an ostriche with its head in the sand, and its time to wake the fuck up and remember I'm not confined to this 3D reality thing. Or maybe there is no reality. Maybe we simply exist in the reality, on which frequency we resonate.
I have experienced sleep deprivation/stimulant/cannabis induced psychosis quite a few times, and I too found myself wondering if my hallucinations of different entities were caused by greater perception. I even tried researching how sleep dep worked while in psychosis to see if sleep deprivation was really allowing me to see things that I'm normally blind to.
Then I came out of psychosis and remembered that I don't have enough short-term memory to finish simple sentences while in such a state.
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circastes
Big Questions Small Head



Registered: 01/14/10
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Re: Schizophrenia and spirituality [Re: Memories]
#18960750 - 10/10/13 06:20 PM (10 years, 3 months ago) |
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Psychosis might be 'other aspects of reality' coming to light but it's not exactly likely given that the mental life is completely fragmented and the ego-self is collapsing, that is, you're scared shitless with no hope and you have no strength to fight it, it undermines the very you that's you.
It seems fact to me that there is more to reality than the everyday, far, far more, in fact, I would wager it's full to the brim with some kind of unexplored meaningfulness. Your brain can tune into different frequencies of it. I swear by this. But schizophrenia has nothing to do with it, it also has nothing to do with LSD or mushroom experiences. It's just some evil fucking brain degeneration that makes you eat shit for as long as it persists.
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FishOilTheKid
Ascended


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Re: Schizophrenia and spirituality [Re: circastes]
#18963453 - 10/11/13 11:10 AM (10 years, 3 months ago) |
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Interesting. I was diagnosed after being hospitalized after a high dose mushroom trip. Its like my subconscious spilled into my waking state after a 'key to a door' and I was flooded with content that I don't think was mine. Or there is truly an 'underworld' in the realms of consciousness (and aliens or at least Etherians.) There violent/disturbing thoughts have their manifestation into mind. Direct Mind Control exists all the sudden. And heavy trance states.
I experienced Death and the smell of death, mass suicides, and mass graves. I also had the memory upon awakening that I was taken somewhere in the middle of the night or in THE DREAMTIME and put through some test as a point of light. And over night its like my mind was lifted from my head and collected by something that assembles 'them' all. I had no concept that I even had a job to go to. The world changed over night and I AWOKE to EVIL. The WORLD seemed completely inhabited by demons and I met them.
I don't think I've fully integrated all that because the anti-psychotics that I've been on seem like they specifically target the timeline that makes up all the memory to the story.
I think the criteria that is used to 'diagnose' just happens to include REAL elements of what one might expect when approaching and confronting the SPIRIT WORLD and deeper elements of the psyche. Even other's content from their minds and vibes. ...Which almost all will argue for proof. Very real none the less.
How do you go about determining what schizophrenia actually is when the decided on facts are mind control by way of etherians? (by me) What is called schizophrenia is a broad range of 'symptoms' and some of them very well could be the result of something like prolonged meditation techniques. ...actual contact with the divine or other realms of consciousness. And beings.
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g00ru
lit pants tit licker



Registered: 08/09/07
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indeed schizophrenia is probably a result of what was once subconscious becoming conscious (which is in a way the goal of spiritual development). and a 'fracturing' of identity takes place...in the past maybe you moved according to certain energies because you had yet to meet them face to face, but once you do they are revealed.
the catch, imo, is that as you had been living under these energies for the longest time, all that mental poo gets released and you are left to deal with it on your own.
schizophrenia is just a fancy pants medical term...it really reminds me of 'hysteria'...it's not a very compassionate term...
but hey, if it's happening in the mind i dont think one must take it too seriously. as long as you are centered, no thought or phenomenon can harm you...so no worries, hakuna matata hahaha
-------------------- check out my music! drowse in prison and your waking will be but loss
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circastes
Big Questions Small Head



Registered: 01/14/10
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Re: Schizophrenia and spirituality [Re: g00ru]
#18966344 - 10/11/13 11:20 PM (10 years, 3 months ago) |
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Just take 30mg Abilify for 3 months then drop it cold turkey. That experience is what I call schizophrenia. All the other cool stuff like demons, other worlds, other realities, potentials of the psyche manifesting, that's just the dynamics of your brain/psyche and reflective of the complexity and beauty of it... I don't think of that as a schizophrenic chemical imbalance, it may not even be pathological, it may be meaningful.
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Icelander
The Minstrel in the Gallery



Registered: 03/15/05
Posts: 95,368
Loc: underbelly
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FishOilTheKid said: Interesting. I was diagnosed after being hospitalized after a high dose mushroom trip. Its like my subconscious spilled into my waking state after a 'key to a door' and I was flooded with content that I don't think was mine. Or there is truly an 'underworld' in the realms of consciousness (and aliens or at least Etherians.) There violent/disturbing thoughts have their manifestation into mind. Direct Mind Control exists all the sudden. And heavy trance states.
I experienced Death and the smell of death, mass suicides, and mass graves. I also had the memory upon awakening that I was taken somewhere in the middle of the night or in THE DREAMTIME and put through some test as a point of light. And over night its like my mind was lifted from my head and collected by something that assembles 'them' all. I had no concept that I even had a job to go to. The world changed over night and I AWOKE to EVIL. The WORLD seemed completely inhabited by demons and I met them.
I don't think I've fully integrated all that because the anti-psychotics that I've been on seem like they specifically target the timeline that makes up all the memory to the story.
I think the criteria that is used to 'diagnose' just happens to include REAL elements of what one might expect when approaching and confronting the SPIRIT WORLD and deeper elements of the psyche. Even other's content from their minds and vibes. ...Which almost all will argue for proof. Very real none the less.
How do you go about determining what schizophrenia actually is when the decided on facts are mind control by way of etherians? (by me) What is called schizophrenia is a broad range of 'symptoms' and some of them very well could be the result of something like prolonged meditation techniques. ...actual contact with the divine or other realms of consciousness. And beings.
Dood! I always enjoy reading your posts on this subject. 
-------------------- "Don't believe everything you think". -Anom. " All that lives was born to die"-Anom. With much wisdom comes much sorrow, The more knowledge, the more grief. Ecclesiastes circa 350 BC
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FishOilTheKid
Ascended


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Re: Schizophrenia and spirituality [Re: Icelander]
#18968078 - 10/12/13 12:11 PM (10 years, 3 months ago) |
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Thanks! I just got a referral for ECT so that's going to happen soon. They are fucking burrowed into my skin and muscles. And, there is one that is like a dense sphere right in the back of my head that holds me in emotional trances. FUCKING EVIL SPIRITS I'm hoping that I can destroy them with electricity. I'm hoping for the best. We'll see.
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I don't think of that as a schizophrenic chemical imbalance, it may not even be pathological, it may be meaningful.
I like the term shamanic illness how Stan Grof uses it. We are indeed IMO/E 'called' into/from a new world of spirit/energy. ...Another world that exists just beyond ordinary perception. A head first dive into the 'unknown' can bring on all kinds of content and with it Truth and delusion.
As far as the quest for truth... I view what I went through as an initiation of sorts into another mode of being. ...Of being with 'them.' Of being controlled in certain obvious ways. Of watching what is invisible to the ordinary man IME and hearing it.
One problem: They speak in plain human voices despite their chosen emotions. This is a symptom of schizophrenia. How the hell do I prove the existence of these beings to anyone so that this is not schizophrenia but contact?
How would one go about recording a stimulus that is psychic noise but not sound waves?
I 'fell from heaven' as soon as I got there. Same place/different fucking place! (for lack of better terms)
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circastes
Big Questions Small Head



Registered: 01/14/10
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How do you know it's not just areas of the brain involved in speech/listening being flooded with dopamine?
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FishOilTheKid
Ascended


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Re: Schizophrenia and spirituality [Re: circastes]
#18969680 - 10/12/13 07:56 PM (10 years, 3 months ago) |
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Because they feel like marbles that swell and contract. I can pop them. They project imagery into my mind. Each one vibrates when it talks. I've seen them fly out of my body as flashes of light and silvery balls of light. They keep trying to move various parts of my body to see if they can gain control of me physically.
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circastes
Big Questions Small Head



Registered: 01/14/10
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That's intense shit! My brother has a similar case of it... the voices or personalities steal his thoughts and sometimes almost make him say things.
For me it's just the positive symptoms of persecutory delusions, thank God. Amotivation and anhedonia in there too.
It's a spectrum. If I smoked 40 cones I would be right there with you. (for some reason cannabis is my cause)
-------------------- My solitude... My shield... My armour... TESTED WITH FULL FORCE
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FishOilTheKid
Ascended


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Re: Schizophrenia and spirituality [Re: circastes]
#18970967 - 10/13/13 02:52 AM (10 years, 3 months ago) |
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the voices or personalities steal his thoughts and sometimes almost make him say things.
They are puppet masters. There was this little girl that was in the top of my head, at least what sounded like a little girl... Upon awakening she would scream, 'you're not allowed to dream!' ...Because they claimed that we were having collective dreams. And I was being taught and given messages in the dreams. The dreams felt like paradise and more real than real.
Since they are like a dense energy sphere that can fly they can create a suction somehow too... She would siphon the thoughts right out of my head when attempting any dream recall. It felt like a vacuum was vacuuming up particles.
I've learned that the brain can be installed with these things and also that it is like an invasion.
When I go into trance and mirror gaze I can see their faces superimposed over my face. The language seems to be inspired from beyond the grave. And the imagery is inhuman not 'classic ET.' And its all very 'nothing biblical' accept for some of these beings masquerading as Jesus using classic Christ faces to scare people into belief and judgment. For some reason when they 'have the belief' we are easier to control. Like you make a psychic connection by conceding a point. And when you gain belief you attract all this.
There was this group. They called themselves separation experts. During the coarse of conversation they would run another conversation of 'flips' - like when 'car' was said by a person 'truck' would be said by an entity, etc. This would go on for as long as the 'real people' were talking and me the experiencer would start to slip off of reality and feel like I was losing my mind. Its like we all feed off of each other and give and take but they were literally breaking my connection to the source using words. It feels like you are dieing and running out of energy, literally.
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CrimpJiggler
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FishOilTheKid: Have you done ayahuasca before? If I were you, I'd try get in contact with an Amazonian shaman at some point in the future, when I could afford it. I know thats a lot easier said than done though, especially if you have issues like that which must make it really hard to organise/plan things and make money.
An alternative method would be to figure out when a Shipibo shaman will be visiting a place near you. They occasionally visit Holland to perform aya ceremonies. I'm sure if you get in contact with a Santo Daime church, some of the people there can put you in contact with a shaman.
-------------------- …...,~__________________, ,. ….../ `—___________—-___]Give a man a gun …../_==o;;;;;;;;_______.:/he can rob a bank. …..), —.(_(__) / ….// (..)),```` …//__/Give a man a bank,he can rob the world! .//__/
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