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Anonymous #1
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I think I may be losing my grasp on the situation.
#18807076 - 09/06/13 11:35 AM (10 years, 4 months ago) |
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Edited by Anonymous (12/06/13 05:43 PM)
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Anonymous #1
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Re: I think I may be losing my grasp on the situation. [Re: Anonymous #1]
#18810112 - 09/07/13 12:40 AM (10 years, 4 months ago) |
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No one huh? Figured at least someone would tell me im stupid for being in this situation... But hoping someone may have some real advice all the same.
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Masked
The Nutter



Registered: 11/26/12
Posts: 8,979
Loc: Canada
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Re: I think I may be losing my grasp on the situation. [Re: Anonymous #1]
#18810323 - 09/07/13 02:43 AM (10 years, 4 months ago) |
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I think you have been straight forward and honest with everyone in this situation.
In my opinion you have done no wrong.
B on the other hand...well obviously her needs aren't being taken care of, but she technically should have filed for divorce before fooling around with you. But the point is moot now. I'm glad she had the courage to do the right thing for everyone involved, including her ex-husband.
I can understand wanting to get it off your chest. Does it feel better now? 
Because honestly, you don't really have a dillema going on nor did I sense any urgent need for one of use to answer your questions.
I would perhaps focus more on J and your newborn daughter and just be open and honest to B. She seems to already know, but just reconfirm that you will be spending a lot more time with J and your newborn...obviously.
Kids are lot of responsibility man. You can't be getting "shit faced on a water bottle of whiskey, staggering around campus", while your baby is at home without a father...in my opinion. It's time to make some big changes.
As far as this whole situation, how has J been handling so much time alone pregnant? Does she get to have an "open" relationship to? And if so, do you find she is actually USING that "open" freedom? Lots of hormones start kicking in when a woman has a baby and I can't say I'd blame her. But if everything is good on that front, you sound like you have an amazingly open, mature woman there.
Good luck with your baby
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Anonymous #1
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Re: I think I may be losing my grasp on the situation. [Re: Masked]
#18811091 - 09/07/13 10:24 AM (10 years, 4 months ago) |
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You’re post really made me feel better Masked.. Maybe keeping the dynamic with B private from our friend group and sneaking around to do so has made me feel like im doing something morally wrong. Like the behavior is making me feel like im doing something that im not. Maybe it’s just social programming that has penetrated deep into my psyche.. Telling me that sleeping with someone else while my girl is home pregnant is morally wrong or something…
Like you said it hasn’t been perfect with B having a husband and all but now that that’s over I feel right with the world. If im not congruent im not happy so I am very honest and upfront to the key players in this situation, J and B..
As for your questions about J.. I don’t even know how to describe how solid of a person she is.. I was gone all summer during the end of her 2nd and beginning of her 3rd trimester and she was just fucking rock solid about the whole thing. It’s wired because I’ll read stuff like “Around this time in pregnancy you probably notice your partner getting more emotional about blah, blah blah” and I just can’t relate.. She is basically exactly the same person as before she got pregnant.
Anyway, our relationship is open for her as well however to answer your question, no she isn’t interested in messing around while she is pregnant. This probably has to do with a number of factors, perhaps her self-image and the safety of her baby.. She’s quite picky too and very rarely finds a guy that interests her, but it happens.. I tend to get around a little more.
The child will definitely be a defining moment in our life.. I have talked to her a little bit about me still having the time to go out and rage a little bit. But all of our talks are kind of empty right now with having zero experience parenting. We are in favor of giving each other a lot of freedom but I don’t really know how that’s all going to happen right now.. At the moment im approaching it with zero expectations, I’ll be there for her and the baby whenever she needs me.
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