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Anonymous #1

I got the pillow partition
    #18799893 - 09/04/13 04:15 PM (10 years, 5 months ago)

I deeply appreciate anyone who reads all this and can offer some insight. I feel like guys might know better.

So I just drove halfway across the US from where I go to school to my family's house, where I'll be living for awhile. I have a friend who lives close to my home state, and it's been long established that I'd visit him on the way back that weekend. We were both really excited about it. To give some background, we've been mainly communicating over text for the last 6 -7 months. We're very sexually open with each other and sometimes the texts got flirty, to the point where I thought we might possibly end up hooking up. He told me his type is thick ethnic girls, which is definitely descriptive of me

I arrived Thursday afternoon and we went to dinner and had drinks with his roommate. When we get home and are ready to crash, he asks where I want to sleep, offering his giant king bed as an option. I choose that. We talked before falling asleep, facing each other and pretty close but not touching. Same thing the next night... I know we both woke up a couple times where we were a bit on top of each other because we both like the middle of the bed. It didn't bother me, and he didn't express that it bothered him. He was a little flirty those first 2 days. Talking about the festival he told me we were going to make out matter of factly.

Saturday we went to a music festival in a city a few hours away. I'd brought us a total of 7 molls. To make a long story short, I ended up rolling hard with one (started at 4:30) and took another when I felt the peak wavering around 8:30. He ended up taking a third when I took my second because he wasn't feeling anything. Finally around 12:30, after his friend we were there with went home, he seemed to get a little wave. He definitely wasn't rolling like I was, but I think he was feeling really good. Some guy came up and asked me to dance, but I said no thanks. My friend (half-black) started musing on "why black guys love you so much" and told me he thought it might be my small mouth. We sat contently for awhile on the balcony, with him pointing out every skinny white girl he thought was cute. Some dumb blonde asked him for a massage as her boyfriend watched and I tried not to look. I felt a bit jealous/weird at the time but obviously didn't express it.

We went back to our hotel around 4am (after contemplating a tit bar) and sat in the bathroom smoking gange and snorting up the 2 remaining molls. We talked and I told him that he knows more about me than most people. After 3 hours in there, we went to the hotel restaurant for OJ and then sat by the pool. We came back up around 9am, after which he seemed to lose all niceness. He told our friend about the guy who came up to me. Then he mentioned he was looking at my tits not my *sarcastic voice* beautiful brown eyes, that I looked like a slut in the shirt I was wearing all night (and currently). Even though it was kind of jokey, it still hurt. We ate and hung out at some clubs in the city before heading back. He seemed pissed on the drive back. When we arrived, I showered. He was on the phone and basically ignoring me, which was fine. I left his room to go comb my hair more. When I came back, he gave me the stuff to set up a bowl. He got a bit more animated after we smoked. We went back to bed and he handed me one of those laughing gas popper things telling me that he loved them during sex. I laughed and handed it back. He wasn't doing one and I didn't want to be weird. A few minutes later, he started rearranging the pillows, and put a huge body pillow between us! My feelings were really hurt... like, after all we've shared it comes down to this and he doesn't even want contact. It's doubly painful because he's one of the only people who's been able to see right through me. We woke up the next day and he gave me one of those poppers, which I ended up doing even though he said he wouldn't do one with me. We talked about how we thought the stuff I'd gotten was some weird e, def not pure molly. We got dressed and ready, he helped me pack up my car, and then when I was about to leave, he gave me a (one-armed!) hug. He told me text him when I got home and that he'd let me know about a cruise we're supposed to go on next month.

I sat there waiting for him to leave since his car was behind mine. He knocked on the window to tell me about cop traps and I guess my voice tipped him off that I'd started crying. I told him it was the serotonin and having to go home (80% true) and he told me that I have a place to come if I need to sneak away.

I don't know what he feels about me but I just feel really hurt. After I came home, I realized I kind of am into him. It's fine if he just wants to be friends but the pillow partition made it seem like he doesn't even want to be near me. I feel repulsive. Am I reading too much into it? Does anyone have any advice?


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InvisibleLynnch
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Re: I got the pillow partition [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #18800169 - 09/04/13 05:20 PM (10 years, 5 months ago)

Were either of you actively trying to get close to the other or trying to make out or hook up?

... It sounds like he's just not that into you, sorry.


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Invisiblefiddle
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Re: I got the pillow partition [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #18800181 - 09/04/13 05:25 PM (10 years, 5 months ago)

It sounds like he was into you, but wanted you to make a move. Or maybe he just isn't attracted to you. I'd talk to him if you want a straight answer.


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InvisibleSheekle
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Re: I got the pillow partition [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #18800202 - 09/04/13 05:29 PM (10 years, 5 months ago)

that sounds really weird OP I don't know what to tell you. all I can give you is the advise to not mistake other peoples problems as your ownj


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"Ur cat died because he hated u" - Koods
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Anonymous #1

Re: I got the pillow partition [Re: fiddle]
    #18800204 - 09/04/13 05:29 PM (10 years, 5 months ago)

Neither of us made a move while I was there, which is why I'm confused about his pillow barrier thing. The night before the rave, we went to a club and started dancing. I was grinding on him and he was grabbing my hips hard. I do that with friends though, so I didn't think much of it. While we were talking/rolling, I had the passing thought "I'm glad we're just friends, this is good."

The thing that makes this odd is there's never been any of this stupid tension with friends before. Most of my friends are gay men and I've never seen/experienced the pillow barrier. I just kind of feel like he hates me or something


Edited by Anonymous (09/04/13 05:34 PM)


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InvisibleSheekle
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Re: I got the pillow partition [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #18800210 - 09/04/13 05:31 PM (10 years, 5 months ago)

ur not anonymous anymore u might wanna edit ur post to go back to anon if u care


p.s like I said this guy sounds like he has/had some problems to deal with of his own lol


--------------------
"Ur cat died because he hated u" - Koods
"I hope JSB kicks your ass one day." - Vandago
"you are the biggest 'internet guy' I have ever come across"- Jokeshopbeard
"The more I see you post the more I realize you're just this fuckin tie dye loser who trolls the Shroomery 24/7." - Herbologist
"Sheekle you cannot vile the dice of bullshit you have posted on this forum over the years, I like databases" - thelastoneleft
"or maybe i just come from a blood line of superior intelligence" - trees

R.I.P Kelsy, ?/?/?? - 6/11/16


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InvisibleVivaLaMushie
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Re: I got the pillow partition [Re: Sheekle]
    #18800253 - 09/04/13 05:41 PM (10 years, 5 months ago)

I would have honestly said 'Umm wtf aren't we going to cuddle?'

what did you do/say when he put the pillows there? Did you guys talk until you went to sleep? no?

just be real with him. that way if he doesn't want to be with you, you can know now instead of later.


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Anonymous #1

Re: I got the pillow partition [Re: VivaLaMushie]
    #18800294 - 09/04/13 05:52 PM (10 years, 5 months ago)

It's a weird situation, and he's a weird guy. He told me earlier that he "falls for the soul." I don't even know what to believe about what he says about sex/love anymore since it seems so contradictory. As for the cuddling thing, there was no real precedent, since we'd not fallen asleep touching the other two nights we actually slept. He'd been preoccupied with his phone, and when he put the pillow up that just kind of killed the talking. I didn't say anything, but if I'd have thought of it, I'd have asked if he wanted me to sleep elsewhere.

He is passive, sexually I think. At the afterparty on the balcony, he pointed out at least a dozen girls he thought were cute for me to look at (I'm bi), but he didn't approach any of them. He mentioned that he usually finds make-out buddies at these things but just not this time. One thing that I don't really think is relevant is that he has a huge aversion to cigarettes (like, I had to hold my cig in the opposite hand of the side he was on) and I was smoking like a chimney.

He mentioned my massive breasts more than once and took a picture to send to his friend. That doesn't mean anything, but it did make me feel really dispensable when he told me that guy was just looking to get some (as if I don't know).

I feel like he led me on in those 7 months of texting. Examples:
-In May he jokingly asked me to send a picture of my tits in my swimsuit. I did and then he told me he was really turned on but hated to admit it because it's not good for friendship.
-A month later, we were both fucked up and texting. I said "I wish I had someone to make out with." He replied "You know I'd sign up." Then he asked me "Don't you know anyone with a jet?"
-Most recently, I sent him a (full body) picture of me in my new swimsuit bottoms since I know he likes big thighs. He said "Sexy. I want you to have a onesie (some lingerie he showed me)"

I didn't want to catch feelings but when I saw him in person, I remembered that he's has a charisma. His weirdness turns me on. I just want to roll with him again and see what happens. I don't feel comfortable talking to him about any of this.


Edited by Anonymous (09/04/13 06:00 PM)


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OfflineMurzelpfrumpft
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Re: I got the pillow partition [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #18802179 - 09/05/13 05:50 AM (10 years, 5 months ago)

In order to be able to properly judge if he's really into you or not, you need to post the pictures you sent him.


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OfflineNabuca
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Re: I got the pillow partition [Re: Murzelpfrumpft]
    #18802497 - 09/05/13 08:42 AM (10 years, 5 months ago)

IMO, it sounds like he either changed his mind for some reason, or simply doesn't know what he wants himself. The pillow partition, the petty insults...seems like some passive aggressive response to something. I would be most likely to think he himself is torn on what he actually wants. Talking to him might help figure things out, if you can get him to think it through.


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OfflineBrand X
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Re: I got the pillow partition [Re: Nabuca]
    #18802762 - 09/05/13 10:35 AM (10 years, 5 months ago)

This is not complicated. The guy is a dick, dump him.


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InvisibleshLong
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Re: I got the pillow partition [Re: Brand X]
    #18802928 - 09/05/13 11:21 AM (10 years, 5 months ago)

Quote:

Brand X said:
This is not complicated. The guy is a dick, dump him.



Do you even read, bro?


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OfflineMagenta
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Re: I got the pillow partition [Re: shLong]
    #18805782 - 09/05/13 11:26 PM (10 years, 5 months ago)

In my unprofessional opinion, he is one of two things.

#1, he wants you bad, but doesn't have sex very often, and is scared to make a move; and expects you to do the hard work. (this could lead to a bad things down the road, stalking ect. You can do better if this is the case.
#2 The guy has some sought of hang up and is insecure about his sexual abilities (such as premature ejaculation) and is scared he'll make a fool of him self. This anxiety can even destroy his boner, or even make it imposable to get up. If this is the case, then you need to build more trust with him. I know you said you'd shared more with him than most other people you know, but the feeling may not be mutual. Try getting him to open up, and do the right thing and show you respect his openness.

I know i said two things, but that's to closed of a statement, but my opinon of the two most likely things. Maybe you jumped the gun when you two met, and didn't create any sexual tension. next time you see him (if you want to sleep with him) touch him while talking, and don't talk about serious things, talk crap, stuff that doesn't matter. Asking them how there ob is going, or how are there parents destroy sexual tension.


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Anonymous #2

Re: I got the pillow partition [Re: Magenta]
    #18805950 - 09/06/13 12:36 AM (10 years, 5 months ago)

i'll give my honest answer,


I think your friend wanted to have sex with you, but wanted you to make the move. After numerous attempts at hinting that he in fact wanted sex with you, and failing miserably at it, he becomes angry and perhaps thinks that you do not want him in that way, or he feels that you have friendzoned him and wants to get out of it by cutting out all the sentimental shit and getting down to business (tits or gtfo). The big pillow between you two was his passive aggressive way of telling you "ok you ain't gonna put out, FUCK YOU THEN."....

Sorry if i came on too strong, it's just my opinion. You're friend wanted sex and you were too blind to see it.. Fuck it though, based on what you wrote about your friend seems to me he is a player. If this is true, consider yourself lucky you didn't give in. It might have hurt more in the future.

..............


............


just my two cents.


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InvisibleMasked
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Re: I got the pillow partition [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #18806330 - 09/06/13 06:32 AM (10 years, 5 months ago)

Quote:

As for the cuddling thing, there was no real precedent,




There doesn't need to be precedent.

I agree with viva.  As soon as that body pillow went up I would been like "ummm no *throw pillow to the side*, don't you want to get close and cuddle?"

It's forward, direct and leaves out the opportunity for soap drama mating "games".

On a side note, I'd like to give some advice if possible:

If I was you, I wouldn't be trying to get close to someone that spends the night out on the town with me, telling me how hot everyone else is :shrug:  He definitely doesn't sound like a keeper, that's for sure


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InvisibleMasked
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Re: I got the pillow partition [Re: Anonymous #2]
    #18806338 - 09/06/13 06:37 AM (10 years, 5 months ago)

Quote:

based on what you wrote about your friend seems to me he is a player.




:canthelpbutlaugh:

A player is someone who, in your own words,

". After numerous attempts at hinting that he in fact wanted sex with you, and failing miserably at it, he becomes angry and perhaps thinks that you do not want him in that way, or he feels that you have friendzoned him and wants to get out of it by cutting out all the sentimental shit and getting down to business (tits or gtfo). The big pillow between you two was his passive aggressive way of telling you "ok you ain't gonna put out, FUCK YOU THEN."...."

wow, sounds like some player!  He must get loads of girls this way :wink:

nah, not trying to be an ass.  But I think you are a dead wrong.  So wrong.  The only part that may ring true is that he may have wanted sex.

I'm betting that any woman who would initiate him though that night, he would have had sex with.  He would have played them like no one's business had they started ripping his clothes off :sexymeow: :lol:


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OfflineMagenta
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Re: I got the pillow partition [Re: Masked]
    #18811024 - 09/07/13 09:58 AM (10 years, 5 months ago)

Quote:

Masked said:
If I was you, I wouldn't be trying to get close to someone that spends the night out on the town with me, telling me how hot everyone else is




I have confession, i did not read all your post. I got impatient and skimmed and skipped chunks. I missed the above detail.
People do not talk about how hot other people are, with people they want to sleep with. He doesn't want to sleep with you. A guy in this position would often trow around the term, 'friend zone'. I'm sorry.

If i'm wrong then he's just a dumb c**t, with no idea about women, and you could do better than that anyways. Men should make the first move.
Try not to obsess over this guy. When people obsess, it usually repels the people they want.
If you want to have better luck in the future with other guys. The best advice i can give is try to touch more when you're talking to someone. This is very hard to explain with just words. A slight tap on their shoulder when you laugh can do wonders. It needs to be spontaneous though, think light touch. Fortunately for you, women actually get this concept a lot better than men generally, so you may know what i mean.

Good luck.


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InvisibleMasked
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Re: I got the pillow partition [Re: Magenta]
    #18811378 - 09/07/13 12:12 PM (10 years, 5 months ago)

Quote:

Men should make the first move.




completely disagree  :noway2:


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Invisibleshallowbastard
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Re: I got the pillow partition [Re: Magenta]
    #18811881 - 09/07/13 02:55 PM (10 years, 5 months ago)

Quote:

knightron said:
Men should make the first move.



Come one man, don't say things like that! That's bad propaganda


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OfflineMagenta
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Re: I got the pillow partition [Re: shallowbastard]
    #18812896 - 09/07/13 08:21 PM (10 years, 5 months ago)

Haters gonna hate. :3stooges:


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