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Anonymous #1
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were you ever bullied?
#18779476 - 08/30/13 10:08 PM (10 years, 5 months ago) |
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i'm trying to come to terms with this. it's been a pretty big factor i believe in a lot of my issues over the years. my inability to trust others (when i really want to trust others), my anxiety/depression.. especially in social situations.
when i was in middle school people used to pick on me sometimes. i don't know why. there's a few different incidences i can remember. they stung pretty bad.
in high school it wasn't so bad, but the scars were already there, and the prior trauma kind of stunted my growth from then on, and although i haven't really been bullied since i was younger, the fact that since the time i was bullied i've always had my guard up, at this point although i'm not necessarily afraid of people picking on me anymore, i am afraid to express myself just because of all of the anxiety that's been built up over that time that i haven't been able to deal with properly. it honestly hurts pretty bad looking back and seeing all the potential good relationships that i haven't been able to make because my ability to trust others was damaged from some of these events way back when. i'm in my early 20's now and it still affects me... i mean i'm making this post right now.
to any other victims that are still here and may find this thread... anonymous guy right here loves you
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philopian_tube

Registered: 08/24/13
Posts: 443
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If I had been bullied, I was probably too oblivious to realize the fact that it was actually happening.
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Edited by philopian_tube (11/27/13 11:04 PM)
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ManianFH
living in perverty


Registered: 07/06/04
Posts: 14,803
Last seen: 16 hours, 32 minutes
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I have read a lot about this. Being the victim of bullying can be really difficult to process. It does get easier as you get older, maybe because we just stop caring as much about things that drain us emotionally as we age. You will benefit from reading self help books, maybe hitting up barnes and noble and picking out a few that stand out to you.
I will also say it would be beneficial for you to develop friendships with others. Maybe you already have a lot of friends I dont know, but it seems like getting out and being social really helps your brain adapt to more positive social interactions. Eventually you will realize that the past is the past, and even though we never really forget it, we can learn from it, and even laugh about it once weve grown enough. Dont be afraid to laugh at yourself as well. I dont know about you but I have an encyclopedia of dumbshit things in my past, and rather than feel embarrassed/defensive when something gets brought up, I laugh at myself as well. When friends give me shit, and its often cause thats the kind of group we have, I learned that often its best to shit on myself even more, in jest. It keeps everything lighthearted, positive, and keeps my mind in a positive atmosphere.
I dunno, hopefully some of that was useful for you
-------------------- notapillow said: "you are going about this endeavor all wrong. clear your mind of useless fear and concern. buy the ticket, take the ride, and all that.... " ChrisWho said: "It's all about the journey, not the destination."
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TwinEclipse
Psychedelic Alchemist


Registered: 07/06/13
Posts: 1,499
Loc: NGC1097
Last seen: 8 years, 6 months
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Re: were you ever bullied? [Re: ManianFH]
#18780442 - 08/31/13 07:10 AM (10 years, 5 months ago) |
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I was bullied.
Long story story short, I developed skills to stand up for myself.
-------------------- My purpose: to love, to share, and to experience....all while conforming to my psychedelic experiences.
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brian410
Stranger Danger

Registered: 05/17/13
Posts: 25
Last seen: 9 years, 10 days
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I was bullied in primary school. When I got to highschool it had stopped yet I was extremely defensive to make sure I didn't get bullied again (I remember a friend calling me a fag more or less just as mates will shit stir but I took it the wrong way and punched him) I quickly realized that this was a good way to end up with no friends so I calmed down a bit. Getting bullied fucked my confidence and socail skills and I believe on a deeper level my ability to trust people. I dealt with this for. Most of my teenage years through the use and abuse of drugs and alchohol for quite a while they helped for if I wasn't sober that would mean I was confident.
But of course this didn't last for ever as the drugs started fucking with my head and I knew I had to quit. I quit on my 20th birthday. I believe in the end the drugs didn't help since I had become dependent on them to socialize. Anyways now I'm attempting to deal with these issues through the spiritual use of physcedelics being careful not to abuse them, and by also saving up to go travelling. I figured what could be better for your social skills then meeting and talking to new people everyday. Even though the whole experience fucked me if I could do it all again I wouldn't change a thing, I'm happy with where I'm going in life these day and if none of that happened id proberly be. living some boring shit life and going nowhere with it.
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JesusGoneRogue


Registered: 10/24/10
Posts: 9,495
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goldcaphunter
EMS Medic



Registered: 07/29/12
Posts: 7,432
Loc: Massachusetts
Last seen: 3 years, 3 months
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I got bullied up until about high school for being short. Then I started going to the gym and developed some pretty big muscles. Got into a fight and then no one really bullied me anymore.
It did sting when I was bullied....it still does. If someone even hints that I'm short my face gets all red and shit. Its pretty annoying and still cuts into my life quite a bit. I guess at some point you realize they're just words and fists and there's other things to worry about....like how your going to get your next meal into you or your family.
--------------------
  The picture to the far left is a reminder to our users to stay safe and healthy, that's my third open heart surgery due to over use of amps. Stay safe kiddos
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zzripz
Stranger


Registered: 12/23/08
Posts: 8,292
Loc: Manchester, UK
Last seen: 4 years, 8 months
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I hate it that there is an implication that a child mustn't be a 'target'. It is as though that in order to not be bullied you have to conform to an ugly bullying culture. That I think is the gist of it when you get down deep behind all the BS. All the pretense that authority cares for those bullied. That is false, because the schooling system itself is the biggest bully. It FORCES all kids to go to school and threatens their parents if they don't attend--with fines and even jail. This isn't bullying??
But the culture even beyond school is one fucked up insane bully.
It will do you violence if you dont con-form. So then they can say 'well stop making yourself a target then, and conform....' see how school is a micro of the insane macro?
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birdland

Registered: 07/24/11
Posts: 2,202
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I didn't read your post, but yes I was bullied throughout highschool (there's no middleschool here in Australia, only primary and high).
It's left me with anxiety and confidence issues, and other issues too. But no doubt made me the person I am today, and I feel I have a good deal of perspective and intelligence for someone my age, which is likely a result of my childhood/adolescence.
The anxiety and confidence is something that I think can be worked on too, I just have to put more energy in to that than most people (while I need less energy put towards other things)
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brian410
Stranger Danger

Registered: 05/17/13
Posts: 25
Last seen: 9 years, 10 days
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Re: were you ever bullied? [Re: zzripz]
#18790430 - 09/02/13 03:18 PM (10 years, 5 months ago) |
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Have you read a book called dumbing us down by john taylor gatto, if you havnt I reccomend you should. Its a really good book and basically says how corrupt the schooling system is. While most of what's said you would already know its still a good read and really helps put it all into perspective better I guess you could say. Schools are definitily the biggest bullies.
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Sheekle
FREE BURKE



Registered: 01/11/10
Posts: 53,153
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yeah I was bullied when I was real little in daycare and then older in high school, I know what you mean about it making you have your guard up for a while after.
sometimes I can give off the wrong impression with people by being emotionally distant and it makes them think I don't care about them even though in those cases I usually do the most
it's alright though those scars are mostly much gone at this point for me, the world happens you gotta learn to roll with it ya know. every once in a while i'll notice myself doing something stupid out of fear of inadequacy but I usually make up for it in some other way to even the plates out ya know
just feel the vibes and synchronize with the world, no matter how out of synch the world has been to you in the past. it's all about the present
-------------------- "Ur cat died because he hated u" - Koods "I hope JSB kicks your ass one day." - Vandago "you are the biggest 'internet guy' I have ever come across"- Jokeshopbeard "The more I see you post the more I realize you're just this fuckin tie dye loser who trolls the Shroomery 24/7." - Herbologist "Sheekle you cannot vile the dice of bullshit you have posted on this forum over the years, I like databases" - thelastoneleft "or maybe i just come from a blood line of superior intelligence" - trees R.I.P Kelsy, ?/?/?? - 6/11/16
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poke smot!
floccinocci floofinator



Registered: 01/08/03
Posts: 5,248
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Re: were you ever bullied? *DELETED* [Re: Anonymous #1]
#18792353 - 09/02/13 10:04 PM (10 years, 5 months ago) |
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Post deleted by poke smot!Reason for deletion: x
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memes
Blessed



Registered: 01/11/05
Posts: 27,785
Loc: In a Tree
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Re: were you ever bullied? [Re: poke smot!]
#18793129 - 09/03/13 04:28 AM (10 years, 5 months ago) |
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OP
you too poke
everyone.
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Anonymous #2
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Re: were you ever bullied? [Re: memes]
#18793499 - 09/03/13 08:57 AM (10 years, 5 months ago) |
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I can't really say I've been much of a victim of bullying, but I've always been pretty good at being able to brush things off and laugh at myself.
In early middle school though, I was a total asshole. I had definitely bullied a few kids, idk it was a different group of people and I was just trying to set my status as the guy nobody else is going to be fucking with, which looking back at it now that seems reasonable but bullying other people was far too excessive.
I really chilled out a lot more in later middle/early high school, and made amends with most of the kids that I made fun of. I later on became pretty good friends with a lot of them actually, recently I've actually been talking to one of the kids I gave the most shit, every week.
I feel bad for what I did and said to some people but when I realized how fucked up it was I made sure to know that they wouldn't have to deal with me being and asshole and prevented people from bullying as much as I possibly could.
It really saddens me to hear how harshly some of you were affected by bullies, makes me feel really bad about putting anyone into a similar situation. But I really did do what I could to make it up to all those people, and help them out.
You guys just gotta remember that's al in in the past now and it was just a bunch of kids not knowing exactly how they were affecting you, I'm sure most if not all have changed their ways and have a completely different view of you.
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Fernis
Will provide



Registered: 04/28/10
Posts: 809
Last seen: 8 years, 9 months
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Quote:
Anonymous said: i'm trying to come to terms with this. it's been a pretty big factor i believe in a lot of my issues over the years. my inability to trust others (when i really want to trust others), my anxiety/depression.. especially in social situations.
when i was in middle school people used to pick on me sometimes. i don't know why. there's a few different incidences i can remember. they stung pretty bad.
in high school it wasn't so bad, but the scars were already there, and the prior trauma kind of stunted my growth from then on, and although i haven't really been bullied since i was younger, the fact that since the time i was bullied i've always had my guard up, at this point although i'm not necessarily afraid of people picking on me anymore, i am afraid to express myself just because of all of the anxiety that's been built up over that time that i haven't been able to deal with properly. it honestly hurts pretty bad looking back and seeing all the potential good relationships that i haven't been able to make because my ability to trust others was damaged from some of these events way back when. i'm in my early 20's now and it still affects me... i mean i'm making this post right now.
to any other victims that are still here and may find this thread... anonymous guy right here loves you 
Yes.
And I still have dreams about it to this day. It's been almost 10 years.
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Anonymous #1
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Re: were you ever bullied? [Re: Fernis]
#18801079 - 09/04/13 09:18 PM (10 years, 5 months ago) |
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Appreciate all the posts very much everyone, thanks for sharing.
I'm listening to this song right now
I can relate extremely well to so many of AL's lyrics, especially from the Dysfunction album (this is a hidden track at the end of that album). He kinda reminds me of myself in a way too ... like he sings about such pain in some songs but his voice is sooooooo good. I feel like that sometimes, like I have a lot of really good attributes but that doesn't necessarily change how I feel inside.
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TwinEclipse
Psychedelic Alchemist


Registered: 07/06/13
Posts: 1,499
Loc: NGC1097
Last seen: 8 years, 6 months
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Re: were you ever bullied? [Re: memes]
#18802596 - 09/05/13 09:30 AM (10 years, 5 months ago) |
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Quote:
memes said:
OP
you too poke
everyone.

I wish every one shared this attribute, at least in the Shroomery. The world would be such a better place. Although I know my idealistic fantasy will never happen, I will continue to share the love inside of me.

Bullies disgust me. Especially the ones who resort to chemical warfare, killing 1400.....
-------------------- My purpose: to love, to share, and to experience....all while conforming to my psychedelic experiences.
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tarponio
Loves rain



Registered: 07/28/09
Posts: 233
Loc: Floating around
Last seen: 1 year, 5 months
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I can tell you from experience that I was bullied and did some bullying. Both sides leave a nasty scar. Because once you build a sense of morality it bites you in the ass in the future. Now that I look back I understand that for having big ears and being short got me picked on quite a bit.
I hung out with a loud crowd that made me feel safer. Just trying to fit in. It's tough but now I've kinda moved on and found peace. I think everyone is just trying to survive and they express in different ways. The ones bullying are usually the ones who are really insecure.
I personally think everything is a lesson. The bully and bullied both learn from it.
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Anonymous #1
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Re: were you ever bullied? [Re: tarponio]
#18832168 - 09/12/13 11:48 AM (10 years, 5 months ago) |
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Quote:
TwinEclipse said: I wish every one shared this attribute, at least in the Shroomery. The world would be such a better place. Although I know my idealistic fantasy will never happen, I will continue to share the love inside of me.
It's tough when as much as you know the rest of the world doesn't feel this strongly in return (in regards to love) you just can't seem to lose your own sense of compassion and care. 
Quote:
tarponio said: I personally think everything is a lesson. The bully and bullied both learn from it.
Indeed. I'm working on it right now, and it's tough, but I wouldn't be who I am today without these experiences. I'm trying to stay positive and upbeat about things:
If any of you have 20 extra minutes and have had bullying demons haunt you, you might enjoy this video. I saw this on the Animal Planet a few weeks ago in the early morning when nothing else was on TV. Chimps are our closest ancestors, and you can draw a lot of parallels from their behavior to ours. They have feelings too just like we do. I was extremely moved to hear the story of Zeena in this clip. It shows how even in other animals if an animal or human is abused it's an automatic response to be hyper-vigilant and have trust issues. At least I could relate to it in that way. Hopefully it touches someone else too 
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Almond Flour
...get off my lawn!



Registered: 12/26/08
Posts: 11,340
Last seen: 8 years, 4 months
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I hope every one of you gets some peace I was bullied in some ways but you just move on ya know and change your attitude
-------------------- Hippies and Liberals love Pope Francis, so why dont I quote him for you guys. "There is NO SALVATION outside the Catholic Church"
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