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memes
Blessed



Registered: 01/11/05
Posts: 27,785
Loc: In a Tree
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Two Squares: the TP woes 1
#18793615 - 09/03/13 09:49 AM (10 years, 5 months ago) |
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Here I sit, on my lunch break. How glorious, the time has finally come to eradicate this bowel movement from my body. Last night was full of sloppy foods, so surely this shit should follow form. First push: yep, as expected.
Look over. End of a roll! Oh fuck. Two squares left.
Wipe 1: square 1, get up the slop. Wipe 2: square 2 outside fold clean clean clean! Wipe 3: square 2 inside fold, anything left behind.
Success.
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Individual
Bass Addict



Registered: 12/20/06
Posts: 6,666
Loc: Reality Loophole
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Re: Two Squares: the TP woes [Re: memes]
#18793632 - 09/03/13 09:52 AM (10 years, 5 months ago) |
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There's great tip at 2:40
-------------------- THE PHILOSOPHY OF LIBERTY <---
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Haxx
Nobody



Registered: 09/01/13
Posts: 46
Loc: UK
Last seen: 3 years, 2 months
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Re: Two Squares: the TP woes [Re: Individual]
#18793651 - 09/03/13 09:58 AM (10 years, 5 months ago) |
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Like a pro!
-------------------- One Way Street
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memes
Blessed



Registered: 01/11/05
Posts: 27,785
Loc: In a Tree
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Re: Two Squares: the TP woes [Re: Individual]
#18793655 - 09/03/13 09:59 AM (10 years, 5 months ago) |
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what the fuuuuuuuuuuuck. fingers dont exactly pick up shit off of your skin like TP does.
I thought he was going to utilize my one-square technique. I'll fold it over once, wrap that now-folded half around my finger, fold the excess over the end. Wipe, release (which causes the previously-wound TP to straighten back out). Fold the other way (so you now have a quarter-square sized piece of TP with poo on the INSIDE fold (not touching your fingers or hand) and wipe again.
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memes
Blessed



Registered: 01/11/05
Posts: 27,785
Loc: In a Tree
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Re: Two Squares: the TP woes [Re: memes]
#18793659 - 09/03/13 10:01 AM (10 years, 5 months ago) |
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Quote:
memes said: I thought he was going to utilize my one-square technique. I'll fold it over once, wrap that now-folded half around my finger, fold the excess over the end. Wipe, release (which causes the previously-wound TP to straighten back out). Fold the other way (so you now have a quarter-square sized piece of TP with poo on the INSIDE fold (not touching your fingers or hand) and wipe again.
Note: this twice-used-TP square should NOT be the initial whipe. Initial whipes require a full sheet, as they are used to remove all poo from the buttcheeks and the area directly around the colon.
That pre-cleaning allows the single-square method used above to be effective, as the very small surface area is sill sufficient to cover and clean one's colon
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the mad machinest
Medicine Man



Registered: 04/18/13
Posts: 4,249
Loc: parallel universe #420
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Re: Two Squares: the TP woes [Re: memes]
#18793666 - 09/03/13 10:03 AM (10 years, 5 months ago) |
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good luck bro! I've unrolled the cardboard roll the tp is on and worked it till it was malleable enough to wipe my ass
or this..
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mr sniffles
expert textpert


Registered: 06/03/13
Posts: 1,663
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--------------------
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lil_demented
Loner will lone

Registered: 09/11/06
Posts: 6,146
Last seen: 2 months, 2 days
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Re: Two Squares: the TP woes [Re: mr sniffles]
#18793764 - 09/03/13 10:23 AM (10 years, 5 months ago) |
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Best thread ever
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CHeifM4sterDiezL
Chief Globerts


Registered: 07/28/10
Posts: 22,691
Loc: United States
Last seen: 7 hours, 41 minutes
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That's why i always look before i leap. Im not ruining another pair of socks dammit!
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Le_Canard
The Duk Abides


Registered: 05/16/03
Posts: 94,392
Loc: Earthfarm 1
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Re: Two Squares: the TP woes [Re: memes]
#18793960 - 09/03/13 11:30 AM (10 years, 5 months ago) |
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Quote:
memes said: what the fuuuuuuuuuuuck. fingers dont exactly pick up shit off of your skin like TP does.
Not to mention being much more sanitary. Back in the good ol' days they used to use their hands to wipe their asses. Custom was to use your left hand, and this is why we shake hands with our right hands.
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Ballerium
Little Black Spot on the Sun



Registered: 10/03/10
Posts: 11,025
Loc: GA
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Re: Two Squares: the TP woes [Re: Le_Canard]
#18794180 - 09/03/13 12:36 PM (10 years, 5 months ago) |
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Do you work somewhere that has more than one bathroom stall? If so, just wipe enough so that you won't drip when you stand up. Make sure there's nobody else in the bathroom and quickly hightail it over to the other stall where hopefully there will be enough toilet paper to finish the job.
-------------------- Beats and waves will take me to my grave and when I go there I know that I won't be alone 'cause I've been spotted, blotted, many many times before.
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druqs
ALKALOIDOHOLIC


Registered: 09/11/06
Posts: 8,862
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Re: Two Squares: the TP woes [Re: Ballerium]
#18794195 - 09/03/13 12:40 PM (10 years, 5 months ago) |
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what the fuck did i just watch.
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memes
Blessed



Registered: 01/11/05
Posts: 27,785
Loc: In a Tree
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Re: Two Squares: the TP woes [Re: druqs]
#18794635 - 09/03/13 02:35 PM (10 years, 5 months ago) |
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I ought to video up a real tek on how to whipe with 1sq and not do it with a bare finger.
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TheWiz
Happy Little Shroom



Registered: 11/21/11
Posts: 191
Loc: Southern IL
Last seen: 3 years, 4 months
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Re: Two Squares: the TP woes [Re: memes]
#18794651 - 09/03/13 02:38 PM (10 years, 5 months ago) |
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I rarely use more than 2 squares. TP used to be trees. Those bitches are important.
-------------------- I'd hit it.
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