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Droz
Love of Life



Registered: 10/15/00
Posts: 2,746
Loc: Floorida
Last seen: 8 years, 6 months
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For those with schizophrenia. 1
#18793601 - 09/03/13 09:44 AM (10 years, 5 months ago) |
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I spent about 6 years of my life hallucinating. I was delusional all the time, combating the voices I thought were being put into my head.
But now...
For the past 3 years I've overcome my illness, each day is progress to a better sane life. I started college again in 2011, in which I was only taking one course per semester. Now i'm up to three. I've finished all my general electives and have moved on to the computer aspect of my degree. I'm going for an A.S. in computer programming. Then on to a university for a B.S. in Computer Science.
I've come a long way and have the ability to stop my hallucinations, the meds I take are the perfect amount, no sedation, no tiredness, no numbness. Just pure chemical bliss, as long as I take them on a regular daily schedule.
Those with schizophrenia, have you made it back to where you want to be? Are you skippin' out on meds because you don't think you need them? I was in denial for the longest time, then I started to see progress with the meds i'm on. Ever since then I know the meds work, I am more stable then ever! I've conquered the illness. I go days upon days without a single thought of "voices", "delusions" etc. My mind is crisp and straight. I've pshycologically have come to a point of clear headedness, which has given me the ability to go back to college like I said earlier.
They say not everyone comes back but still faces delusion and hallucinations for the rest of their lives. But for me it is a good ending story where the symptoms have stopped completely, my mood is stable, i'm happy most of the time. The more time passes by it seems the better I get. I do see a therapist and I think that has helped out a lot. We meet at Starbucks and she buys me coffee. We no longer talk about my illness. I enjoy a good conversation with my therapist where we talk about technology, school, books i'm reading, etc.
Reading has helped out a lot too. I've drove myself long enough to be able to sit down and read for hours at a time. I'm fully focused on the books and school.
Anyone want to share their schizophrenic story, i'd like to learn more about other and if I can help you out in some way I will.
-Droz
-------------------- Evolution of Time.
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circastes
Big Questions Small Head


Registered: 01/14/10
Posts: 8,781
Loc: straya
Last seen: 7 years, 8 months
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Re: For those with schizophrenia. [Re: Droz]
#18793953 - 09/03/13 11:28 AM (10 years, 5 months ago) |
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I was so fucking paranoid and fucked up without meds hahaha. They really work, to the extent that the positive symptoms are diminished. They don't stop them altogether but that's probably because the D2 and 5HT2a receptors that the antipsychotics work on are only partially related to schizophrenia.
I was in denial about because I didn't want to be to put it bluntly, fucked, for life, which is generally what a schizophrenic is.
There is no cure until science manages to find one BUT
in the meantime reality is unknown and its nature is all bound up in strangeness. You can take time out and tell the brain or the unconscious aspects of yourself, hello, we have a problem here, we gotta fix it because we're not getting anywhere until we do.
There is something about dead ends that reality abhors for its organisms. If you truly see there is nothing else for you but to heal, the brain body mind unconscious whatever will speed it right up, to the extent that you will feel it.
This is because despite some rational apprehensions of life, we matter. We matter. Because we matter, if we get stuck, help comes. It is our own help really, it is just the intelligence of our body and unconscious.
I am getting much better all the time, but I think there is also a frontal lobe syndrome in all this from hitting my head really fucking hard twice or three times.
If schizophrenia doesn't finish you then physical brain damage should. But that's the thing, we're not physical, we're just information, everything is just information, and it just needs to know what's wrong to fill in or infer the missing information.
Beliefs that this is impossible or that science has it right and to dogmatically accept scientific views is the only force that prevents rapid healing.
If something is impossible, why? We're just stupid primates trying to get by. Reality remains above and beyond us.
So just believe I guess.
I'll be out of this mess in no time.
-------------------- My solitude... My shield... My armour... TESTED WITH FULL FORCE
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liquidlounge

Registered: 12/22/10
Posts: 9,256
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Re: For those with schizophrenia. [Re: Droz]
#18794165 - 09/03/13 12:32 PM (10 years, 5 months ago) |
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People with mental illness such as heavy schizophrenia and psychosis live the most difficult lives IMO. Not that I have it myself it's merely based on my imagination.
-------------------- As far as I assume to know...
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LunarEclipse
Enlil's Official Story


Registered: 10/31/04
Posts: 21,407
Loc: Building 7
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Re: For those with schizophrenia. [Re: Droz]
#18794249 - 09/03/13 12:58 PM (10 years, 5 months ago) |
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You haven't conquered the illness. You have been able to control it with your meds, and likely other factors. And good for you Droz! Keep up the great work and I mean it.
-------------------- Anxiety is what you make it.
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circastes
Big Questions Small Head


Registered: 01/14/10
Posts: 8,781
Loc: straya
Last seen: 7 years, 8 months
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Re: For those with schizophrenia. [Re: LunarEclipse] 1
#18794343 - 09/03/13 01:24 PM (10 years, 5 months ago) |
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No there is no conquering the illness but the body isn't even what we think it is. It can heal any problem it has excepting things like limbs I guess. It just doesn't seem to be public knowledge. Lots of things weren't public knowledge 50 years ago. etc.
No amount of willpower will fix it but this unconscious-mind-driven healing will. Of course it sounds a bit new age, and loosely hopeful etc. and all that comes with general bullshit but this is the real deal, I'm getting better. I just reasoned out the problems and then realised nowhere in our education does it actually say what the hell is going on, so it's kind of up to us.
-------------------- My solitude... My shield... My armour... TESTED WITH FULL FORCE
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EternalCowabunga
Being of Great Significance



Registered: 04/04/05
Posts: 7,152
Loc: Time and Space
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Re: For those with schizophrenia. [Re: circastes]
#18794486 - 09/03/13 01:58 PM (10 years, 5 months ago) |
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Glad you're doing better, OP.
For several years my schizophrenia got worse and worse and eventually I ended up in a full on psychotic episode. I had to be hospitalized after trying to commit suicide.
Like you, I did not trust the meds for a long time, I had severe paranoid delusions and was also hallucinating stuff while completely sober.
My story is probably pretty similar to you. I got better slowly, baby steps - I kept finding ways to cope and improve my life. First I started expressing my feelings more, then exercising, than eating healthy, meditating, etc
I read an article in the paper that said that a good number of schizophrenics actually rid themselves of the disease completely after a long enough time.
Going through all that shit was a terrible time, wouldn't wish it on anyone. I thank god that I had the support of family and friends, therapists, doctors, etc or I would have been fucked.
Also, disability money is cool
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LunarEclipse
Enlil's Official Story


Registered: 10/31/04
Posts: 21,407
Loc: Building 7
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Re: For those with schizophrenia. [Re: circastes]
#18794524 - 09/03/13 02:06 PM (10 years, 5 months ago) |
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Quote:
circastes said: No there is no conquering the illness but the body isn't even what we think it is. It can heal any problem it has excepting things like limbs I guess. It just doesn't seem to be public knowledge. Lots of things weren't public knowledge 50 years ago. etc.
No amount of willpower will fix it but this unconscious-mind-driven healing will. Of course it sounds a bit new age, and loosely hopeful etc. and all that comes with general bullshit but this is the real deal, I'm getting better. I just reasoned out the problems and then realised nowhere in our education does it actually say what the hell is going on, so it's kind of up to us.
I for one would never doubt the power of the mind. Today I took a situation, and turned it upside down and on its ear. Could have stressed me, but I'm the one with a grin over my handling of it. All classy of course. That's the beauty of when someone tries to get over on you, and you handle their "agenda" with not only class but just not the way they wanted it.
We don't have problems, we have opportunities to overcome adversity.
Think about it.
-------------------- Anxiety is what you make it.
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circastes
Big Questions Small Head


Registered: 01/14/10
Posts: 8,781
Loc: straya
Last seen: 7 years, 8 months
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Quote:
EternalCowabunga said: Glad you're doing better, OP.
For several years my schizophrenia got worse and worse and eventually I ended up in a full on psychotic episode. I had to be hospitalized after trying to commit suicide.
Like you, I did not trust the meds for a long time, I had severe paranoid delusions and was also hallucinating stuff while completely sober.
My story is probably pretty similar to you. I got better slowly, baby steps - I kept finding ways to cope and improve my life. First I started expressing my feelings more, then exercising, than eating healthy, meditating, etc
I read an article in the paper that said that a good number of schizophrenics actually rid themselves of the disease completely after a long enough time.
Going through all that shit was a terrible time, wouldn't wish it on anyone. I thank god that I had the support of family and friends, therapists, doctors, etc or I would have been fucked.
Also, disability money is cool 
It has the worst feelings, the most fucked up little cognitive state results and you're not even close to reality. hehe. You don't realise until you're well again.
Disability money is fucking great. In STRAYA we get half the average full-time wage. There is no tax and you can just sit at home while your mum pays for everything anyway and make masturbation your only exercise commitment.
-------------------- My solitude... My shield... My armour... TESTED WITH FULL FORCE
Edited by circastes (09/03/13 02:29 PM)
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LunarEclipse
Enlil's Official Story


Registered: 10/31/04
Posts: 21,407
Loc: Building 7
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Re: For those with schizophrenia. [Re: circastes]
#18794766 - 09/03/13 03:12 PM (10 years, 5 months ago) |
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Quote:
circastes said:
Quote:
EternalCowabunga said: Glad you're doing better, OP.
For several years my schizophrenia got worse and worse and eventually I ended up in a full on psychotic episode. I had to be hospitalized after trying to commit suicide.
Like you, I did not trust the meds for a long time, I had severe paranoid delusions and was also hallucinating stuff while completely sober.
My story is probably pretty similar to you. I got better slowly, baby steps - I kept finding ways to cope and improve my life. First I started expressing my feelings more, then exercising, than eating healthy, meditating, etc
I read an article in the paper that said that a good number of schizophrenics actually rid themselves of the disease completely after a long enough time.
Going through all that shit was a terrible time, wouldn't wish it on anyone. I thank god that I had the support of family and friends, therapists, doctors, etc or I would have been fucked.
Also, disability money is cool 
It has the worst feelings, the most fucked up little cognitive state results and you're not even close to reality. hehe. You don't realise until you're well again.
Disability money is fucking great. In STRAYA we get half the average full-time wage. There is no tax and you can just sit at home while your mum pays for everything anyway and make masturbation your only exercise commitment.
The entitlement that seems to be going along with this is a bit disturbing. No offense I mean it's great you can sit at home soaking off mom jerking off while the disability money is great. Let's all have conditions requiring money from the state wouldn't that be great.
-------------------- Anxiety is what you make it.
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huxley_hound
Day Tripper


Registered: 09/02/13
Posts: 74
Loc: USA
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Re: For those with schizophrenia. [Re: LunarEclipse] 1
#18795267 - 09/03/13 04:48 PM (10 years, 5 months ago) |
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I don't have schizophrenia, but I find it very interesting. Your stories are encouraging and I'm glad for your improvement.
A very famous, recent French philosopher wrote about schizophrenia a few decades ago. His name is Gilles Deleuze. He argues (with his analyst collaborator, Felix Guattari) that schizophrenia is a much more natural and "real" phenomenon than is sometimes suggested. So, he makes claims about seemingly fragmented portions of consciousness, and some find this concept very controversial, including many in the hard sciences. I haven't the first idea about whether his ideas are veridical or not, but I like the unitarian sketch that he presents. Check his work out, if you like, it is very intriguing!
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circastes
Big Questions Small Head


Registered: 01/14/10
Posts: 8,781
Loc: straya
Last seen: 7 years, 8 months
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Re: For those with schizophrenia. [Re: huxley_hound]
#18795818 - 09/03/13 06:58 PM (10 years, 5 months ago) |
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You really can't work while this illness is in full swing though. It's pretty reasonable. Otherwise my finance and life would just be going down the drain.
Schizophrenia is certainly interesting. It probably doesn't get much more interesting than the complexities of the brain itself, which the illness is revealing. It's a living computer up there, and when it goes wrong, persecutions and hallucinations abound. Very cool...
-------------------- My solitude... My shield... My armour... TESTED WITH FULL FORCE
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lolwut
bad motherfucker


Registered: 08/14/10
Posts: 2,782
Loc: back in black
Last seen: 2 years, 8 months
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Re: For those with schizophrenia. [Re: Droz]
#18798090 - 09/04/13 05:41 AM (10 years, 5 months ago) |
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Quote:
Droz said: I spent about 6 years of my life hallucinating. I was delusional all the time, combating the voices I thought were being put into my head.
But now...
For the past 3 years I've overcome my illness, each day is progress to a better sane life. I started college again in 2011, in which I was only taking one course per semester. Now i'm up to three. I've finished all my general electives and have moved on to the computer aspect of my degree. I'm going for an A.S. in computer programming. Then on to a university for a B.S. in Computer Science.
I've come a long way and have the ability to stop my hallucinations, the meds I take are the perfect amount, no sedation, no tiredness, no numbness. Just pure chemical bliss, as long as I take them on a regular daily schedule.
Those with schizophrenia, have you made it back to where you want to be? Are you skippin' out on meds because you don't think you need them? I was in denial for the longest time, then I started to see progress with the meds i'm on. Ever since then I know the meds work, I am more stable then ever! I've conquered the illness. I go days upon days without a single thought of "voices", "delusions" etc. My mind is crisp and straight. I've pshycologically have come to a point of clear headedness, which has given me the ability to go back to college like I said earlier.
They say not everyone comes back but still faces delusion and hallucinations for the rest of their lives. But for me it is a good ending story where the symptoms have stopped completely, my mood is stable, i'm happy most of the time. The more time passes by it seems the better I get. I do see a therapist and I think that has helped out a lot. We meet at Starbucks and she buys me coffee. We no longer talk about my illness. I enjoy a good conversation with my therapist where we talk about technology, school, books i'm reading, etc.
Reading has helped out a lot too. I've drove myself long enough to be able to sit down and read for hours at a time. I'm fully focused on the books and school.
Anyone want to share their schizophrenic story, i'd like to learn more about other and if I can help you out in some way I will.
-Droz
I'm bipolar type 1 so my episodes are full of euphoria, bliss, spirituality, acceptance, universal love, high energy. I still got the voices, open and closed eye hallucinations, some paranoia and anxiety etc, but it was the recovery where it really kicked my ass - I went 1 year without meds, ended up in the psych ward, then went a year doing other drugs regularly enough such that I never fully recovered from the episodes as the drugs I'd take would consistently set me back.
It's been about 3-4 months since I've finally got the meds right and haven't touched any illegal drug in that time, and I feel like I've turned a corner, so to speak. Managed to quit smoking, am going back to uni next year, have been going gym almost every day for the last 2 months, getting my license soon...life is sweet again and has been almost 2 years since I had an episode and it looks like as long as I stay off the drugs, I'll be able to taper off the meds completely and be fine without them.
It's pretty interesting how much you value your sanity after a period of time like this lol.
-------------------- Please allow me to introduce myself, I'm a man of wealth, and taste...
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circastes
Big Questions Small Head


Registered: 01/14/10
Posts: 8,781
Loc: straya
Last seen: 7 years, 8 months
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Re: For those with schizophrenia. [Re: lolwut]
#18798682 - 09/04/13 10:42 AM (10 years, 5 months ago) |
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We can never be one of those cool drug people.
-------------------- My solitude... My shield... My armour... TESTED WITH FULL FORCE
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liquidlounge

Registered: 12/22/10
Posts: 9,256
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Re: For those with schizophrenia. [Re: circastes]
#18798877 - 09/04/13 11:44 AM (10 years, 5 months ago) |
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Those being picked up in ambulance at work after OD'ing?
-------------------- As far as I assume to know...
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liquidlounge

Registered: 12/22/10
Posts: 9,256
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Re: For those with schizophrenia. [Re: circastes]
#18798908 - 09/04/13 11:52 AM (10 years, 5 months ago) |
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Or ruining for the people that care the most about you and making their life pretty shit.
You won't give much shit when you're a junkie. Apart from the crashes.
-------------------- As far as I assume to know...
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Psilopsychosis



Registered: 07/06/13
Posts: 717
Loc:
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Re: For those with schizophrenia. [Re: Droz]
#18798928 - 09/04/13 11:59 AM (10 years, 5 months ago) |
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In my honest experience the meds don't do a thing about the delusions. Delusions are only treated by being aware of your thoughts and using CBT to recognize delusional thought patterns. And time too os important. That is only my subjective experiemce though. I can't speak for anyone else.
Good to hear you are doing well though.
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LunarEclipse
Enlil's Official Story


Registered: 10/31/04
Posts: 21,407
Loc: Building 7
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Re: For those with schizophrenia. [Re: circastes]
#18799292 - 09/04/13 01:39 PM (10 years, 5 months ago) |
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Quote:
circastes said: You really can't work while this illness is in full swing though. It's pretty reasonable. Otherwise my finance and life would just be going down the drain.
Schizophrenia is certainly interesting. It probably doesn't get much more interesting than the complexities of the brain itself, which the illness is revealing. It's a living computer up there, and when it goes wrong, persecutions and hallucinations abound. Very cool...
That's nice although your enthusiasm for being "disabled" and happy to soak off of mom came through clearly. Chose to ignore, and continue to play the victim. Not cool.
-------------------- Anxiety is what you make it.
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lolwut
bad motherfucker


Registered: 08/14/10
Posts: 2,782
Loc: back in black
Last seen: 2 years, 8 months
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Re: For those with schizophrenia. [Re: circastes]
#18800264 - 09/04/13 05:44 PM (10 years, 5 months ago) |
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Quote:
circastes said: We can never be one of those cool drug people. 
Well, I was for about 3 years. They had no negative effects except they nearly made me drop out of uni, lost all my straight edge friends, was associating with shady people all the time, had a reputation in social groups that prevented me from being invited to events and making new friends within them. People are lame.
-------------------- Please allow me to introduce myself, I'm a man of wealth, and taste...
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circastes
Big Questions Small Head


Registered: 01/14/10
Posts: 8,781
Loc: straya
Last seen: 7 years, 8 months
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Quote:
Psilopsychosis said: In my honest experience the meds don't do a thing about the delusions. Delusions are only treated by being aware of your thoughts and using CBT to recognize delusional thought patterns. And time too os important. That is only my subjective experiemce though. I can't speak for anyone else.
Good to hear you are doing well though.
I was told I'm just far more in control on this stuff. I have to agree. I was scared shitless before this stuff. The delusions don't go though, they're just a lot more vague.
Man that was a ride. hahaha. I couldn't even trust anyone, or walk down the street without severe panic attacks. Wow.
-------------------- My solitude... My shield... My armour... TESTED WITH FULL FORCE
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circastes
Big Questions Small Head


Registered: 01/14/10
Posts: 8,781
Loc: straya
Last seen: 7 years, 8 months
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Re: For those with schizophrenia. [Re: LunarEclipse]
#18801928 - 09/05/13 03:07 AM (10 years, 5 months ago) |
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Quote:
LunarEclipse said:
Quote:
circastes said: You really can't work while this illness is in full swing though. It's pretty reasonable. Otherwise my finance and life would just be going down the drain.
Schizophrenia is certainly interesting. It probably doesn't get much more interesting than the complexities of the brain itself, which the illness is revealing. It's a living computer up there, and when it goes wrong, persecutions and hallucinations abound. Very cool...
That's nice although your enthusiasm for being "disabled" and happy to soak off of mom came through clearly. Chose to ignore, and continue to play the victim. Not cool.
I want to really dig into life but this crap holds me back. Lack of drive is part of schizophrenia. Not my fault.
-------------------- My solitude... My shield... My armour... TESTED WITH FULL FORCE
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