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Anonymous #1
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Starting a relationship
#18789909 - 09/02/13 01:20 PM (10 years, 4 months ago) |
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I'll preface this with saying I'm inexperienced. It honestly wasn't until this summer that I had the confidence to talk and flirt with girls, but my confidence has went way up since. Anyway, I haven't been in any serious relationships so I may be completely in the dark about certain things.
So I started college a week ago. I met this girl at orientation a couple months ago, we texted a bit until school started, but just as friends. So school starts, she hits me up. We chill I think twice or 3 times, still as friends, either with her friends or mine.
This past Friday we were in a big group of people. She wanted to smoke so I took her to the beach. We ended up sitting close, I took her in my arms and we made out. Next day, Saturday, we went camping with a huge amount of people. Got a little drunk, pretty damn high, we went back to my tent. We made out a bit, she was tired and she ended up falling asleep in my arms. We slept very close, giving each other little kisses every time we turned over or something. Last night she and I each did our own thing, but we're chilling today.
So basically, two intimate nights, few chill sessions, and we know we get along well. I think I want a relationship out of this rather than a hook-up buddy. I have a feeling she feels the same way, but I want to know for sure.
My question here is, is it too early on to talk about what we want out of this? Should I wait a bit to bring up the subject? I don't want to make it too fast for her, but I would like some stability, or whatever putting a title on a relationship does, at the same time. Would it be best to wait a few more hook ups to bring it up?
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Sheekle
FREE BURKE



Registered: 01/11/10
Posts: 53,153
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i say don't even think about things being all offical or anything it's all just love everywhere everyone should just fuk every1 its all good
-------------------- "Ur cat died because he hated u" - Koods "I hope JSB kicks your ass one day." - Vandago "you are the biggest 'internet guy' I have ever come across"- Jokeshopbeard "The more I see you post the more I realize you're just this fuckin tie dye loser who trolls the Shroomery 24/7." - Herbologist "Sheekle you cannot vile the dice of bullshit you have posted on this forum over the years, I like databases" - thelastoneleft "or maybe i just come from a blood line of superior intelligence" - trees R.I.P Kelsy, ?/?/?? - 6/11/16
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Sheekle
FREE BURKE



Registered: 01/11/10
Posts: 53,153
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Re: Starting a relationship [Re: Sheekle]
#18789917 - 09/02/13 01:22 PM (10 years, 4 months ago) |
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do whatever i dun0 lol
-------------------- "Ur cat died because he hated u" - Koods "I hope JSB kicks your ass one day." - Vandago "you are the biggest 'internet guy' I have ever come across"- Jokeshopbeard "The more I see you post the more I realize you're just this fuckin tie dye loser who trolls the Shroomery 24/7." - Herbologist "Sheekle you cannot vile the dice of bullshit you have posted on this forum over the years, I like databases" - thelastoneleft "or maybe i just come from a blood line of superior intelligence" - trees R.I.P Kelsy, ?/?/?? - 6/11/16
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Anonymous #1
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Re: Starting a relationship [Re: Sheekle]
#18789930 - 09/02/13 01:25 PM (10 years, 4 months ago) |
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.....Okay then Sheekle
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Lynnch
Strangerer



Registered: 04/29/09
Posts: 7,855
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You're not in highschool anymore, you don't have to 'ask her out'. Sounds like you've got a good thing goin, so just keep it going. It will evolve naturally, and eventually you'll introduce her as your girlfriend like it's nothing. The only thing you'll do by sitting down and having 'the talk' right now is give her a chance to say no, or freak both of yourselves out over commitment. Relax, give it some time, enjoy it instead of worrying about what to call it. If you still find it necessary to put a title on it, it should be at a point where you already know what her answer is.
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Sheekle
FREE BURKE



Registered: 01/11/10
Posts: 53,153
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Re: Starting a relationship [Re: Lynnch]
#18790192 - 09/02/13 02:31 PM (10 years, 4 months ago) |
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Quote:
Lynnch said: You're not in highschool anymore, you don't have to 'ask her out'. Sounds like you've got a good thing goin, so just keep it going. It will evolve naturally, and eventually you'll introduce her as your girlfriend like it's nothing. The only thing you'll do by sitting down and having 'the talk' right now is give her a chance to say no, or freak both of yourselves out over commitment. Relax, give it some time, enjoy it instead of worrying about what to call it. If you still find it necessary to put a title on it, it should be at a point where you already know what her answer is.
-------------------- "Ur cat died because he hated u" - Koods "I hope JSB kicks your ass one day." - Vandago "you are the biggest 'internet guy' I have ever come across"- Jokeshopbeard "The more I see you post the more I realize you're just this fuckin tie dye loser who trolls the Shroomery 24/7." - Herbologist "Sheekle you cannot vile the dice of bullshit you have posted on this forum over the years, I like databases" - thelastoneleft "or maybe i just come from a blood line of superior intelligence" - trees R.I.P Kelsy, ?/?/?? - 6/11/16
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gulper2323
Unknown Landscape Climber



Registered: 06/17/12
Posts: 1,282
Loc:
Last seen: 1 year, 10 days
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Re: Starting a relationship [Re: Lynnch]
#18790598 - 09/02/13 04:08 PM (10 years, 4 months ago) |
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Quote:
Lynnch said: It will evolve naturally
This.
If you feel that you are both into each other and you both want the same type of relationship than just leave it to develop naturally. Ideally the only time you should talk about you relationship and where it's headed is when you feel that you both don't want the same type of relationship
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Anonymous #1
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Re: Starting a relationship [Re: Lynnch]
#18790970 - 09/02/13 05:32 PM (10 years, 4 months ago) |
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Quote:
Lynnch said: You're not in highschool anymore, you don't have to 'ask her out'. Sounds like you've got a good thing goin, so just keep it going. It will evolve naturally, and eventually you'll introduce her as your girlfriend like it's nothing. The only thing you'll do by sitting down and having 'the talk' right now is give her a chance to say no, or freak both of yourselves out over commitment. Relax, give it some time, enjoy it instead of worrying about what to call it. If you still find it necessary to put a title on it, it should be at a point where you already know what her answer is.
Awesome, thanks for that
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Dawks
Jolly African Potato


Registered: 06/09/10
Posts: 4,935
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Re: Starting a relationship [Re: Sheekle]
#18791045 - 09/02/13 05:45 PM (10 years, 4 months ago) |
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Quote:
Sheekle said: i say don't even think about things being all offical or anything it's all just love everywhere everyone should just fuk every1 its all good

Quote:
Lynnch said: You're not in highschool anymore, you don't have to 'ask her out'. Sounds like you've got a good thing goin, so just keep it going. It will evolve naturally, and eventually you'll introduce her as your girlfriend like it's nothing. The only thing you'll do by sitting down and having 'the talk' right now is give her a chance to say no, or freak both of yourselves out over commitment. Relax, give it some time, enjoy it instead of worrying about what to call it. If you still find it necessary to put a title on it, it should be at a point where you already know what her answer is.
Yeah OP. Don't worry about formalizing things, life isn't about contracts it's about doing the things you like with the people you like, whatever it's called.
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date ; unzip ; strip ; touch ; grep ; finger ; mount ; fsck ; more ; yes ; umount ; sleep
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Anonymous #1
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Re: Starting a relationship [Re: Dawks]
#18792342 - 09/02/13 10:02 PM (10 years, 4 months ago) |
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Yeah definitely. Thanks everybody, I'm glad I have some good advice to follow.
(She told her parents about me so that's something)
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TheWiz
Happy Little Shroom



Registered: 11/21/11
Posts: 191
Loc: Southern IL
Last seen: 3 years, 4 months
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Re: Starting a relationship [Re: Lynnch]
#18798837 - 09/04/13 11:31 AM (10 years, 4 months ago) |
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Quote:
Lynnch said: You're not in highschool anymore, you don't have to 'ask her out'. Sounds like you've got a good thing goin, so just keep it going. It will evolve naturally, and eventually you'll introduce her as your girlfriend like it's nothing. The only thing you'll do by sitting down and having 'the talk' right now is give her a chance to say no, or freak both of yourselves out over commitment. Relax, give it some time, enjoy it instead of worrying about what to call it. If you still find it necessary to put a title on it, it should be at a point where you already know what her answer is.
I agree that he should let it happen and enjoy the ride, but I disagree big time when you say it will "evolve naturally" into her being a girlfriend. Not everyone is after a monogamous commitment and you shouldn't assume she is just because you've been seeing her a while.
-------------------- I'd hit it.
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shroomlowie



Registered: 07/12/13
Posts: 265
Last seen: 6 months, 27 days
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Re: Starting a relationship [Re: gulper2323]
#18798867 - 09/04/13 11:39 AM (10 years, 4 months ago) |
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Quote:
Lynnch said: It will evolve naturally
This is an extremely good point.
Hope it goes just as you want it too OP
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Lynnch
Strangerer



Registered: 04/29/09
Posts: 7,855
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Re: Starting a relationship [Re: shroomlowie]
#18798939 - 09/04/13 12:01 PM (10 years, 4 months ago) |
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No, you shouldn't assume that just because you've been seeing each other a while that means she's into commitment... What I mean is when you wake up and have breakfast together more days out of the month than not and she's got a spare makeup bag in your bathroom, it's petty safe to consider her your girlfriend. That's always how it happens for me anyway, you roll over and say "Hey, I like having you around, does this mean we're 'together'?" "Yea, I guess so" "Okay, lets have some more awesome sex" "Okay!" I've never done the whole "I would like you to be my girlfriend, sign the contract here and here, thank you, now let's begin the committed portion of our relationship"...No, it evolves naturally.
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Anonymous #1
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And that was a waste of 5 days
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gulper2323
Unknown Landscape Climber



Registered: 06/17/12
Posts: 1,282
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Can you elaborate on that please?
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Anonymous #1
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Re: Starting a relationship [Re: gulper2323]
#18806689 - 09/06/13 09:27 AM (10 years, 4 months ago) |
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I was getting weird vibes from her the last day, figured something was looming over us. Basically ended with her inviting me a party, she got white girl wasted, and eventually fucked another guy.
I see why she hasn't ever had a boyfriend for over a week.
I think this fazed me for a total of like 6 minutes. I don't need to bother with girls like that. It's embarrassing how all the red flags seem to be invisible when you start falling for a girl. And then, when something bad happens, it all seems to make sense.
Edited by Anonymous (09/06/13 09:34 AM)
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gulper2323
Unknown Landscape Climber



Registered: 06/17/12
Posts: 1,282
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Last seen: 1 year, 10 days
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You just got to forget about her and move on to some other chick or you'll not get her off your mind.
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TheWiz
Happy Little Shroom



Registered: 11/21/11
Posts: 191
Loc: Southern IL
Last seen: 3 years, 4 months
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Re: Starting a relationship [Re: gulper2323]
#18806849 - 09/06/13 10:17 AM (10 years, 4 months ago) |
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I've got this crazy thought here... maybe she's still worth knowing, even if she wants to fuck more than one dude.
-------------------- I'd hit it.
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Anonymous #1
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Re: Starting a relationship [Re: TheWiz]
#18806982 - 09/06/13 11:05 AM (10 years, 4 months ago) |
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She's currently texting me that she didn't hook up with that guy blah blah blah. I'm sorry, but when you go to a room with a guy when you're drunk as fuck, there aren't too many other possibilities. All of my replies are basically saying "go do whatever you want, I don't care or judge" - which is true. I stopped caring before this all happened. She's clearly never going to be more than a potential hook up
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Lynnch
Strangerer



Registered: 04/29/09
Posts: 7,855
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Re: Starting a relationship [Re: TheWiz]
#18806987 - 09/06/13 11:08 AM (10 years, 4 months ago) |
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It doesn't sound like OP is looking for a friend or to continue an unrequited love situation.
Bummer man. Even it didn't go the way you wanted, at least you had the pleasure of meeting someone new.
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koods
Ribbit



Registered: 05/26/11
Posts: 106,049
Loc: Maryland/DC Burbs
Last seen: 6 hours, 55 minutes
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Stay away from that phrase "I don't care." It usually means the opposite.
--------------------
NotSheekle said “if I believed she was 16 I would become unattracted to her”
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Anonymous #1
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Re: Starting a relationship [Re: Lynnch]
#18807062 - 09/06/13 11:31 AM (10 years, 4 months ago) |
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I'm taking it as a learning experience. All good
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Anonymous #1
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Re: Starting a relationship [Re: koods]
#18807071 - 09/06/13 11:34 AM (10 years, 4 months ago) |
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Quote:
koods said: Stay away from that phrase "I don't care." It usually means the opposite.
Yes I know. It's a better way of saying "fuck it", which is my opinion on the whole matter
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TwinEclipse
Psychedelic Alchemist


Registered: 07/06/13
Posts: 1,499
Loc: NGC1097
Last seen: 8 years, 5 months
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Re: Starting a relationship [Re: Sheekle]
#18810680 - 09/07/13 07:25 AM (10 years, 4 months ago) |
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Quote:
Sheekle said: it's all just love everywhere everyone should just fuk every1 its all good

OP. don't over think things. GF/BF is just a label. If she had as much fun as you did, she will continue to 'be intimate' with you. I thinks it's too quick(1-2weeks?) to be labeled as a couple.
Have fun first bro! Relationships are fun too, but they require some work as well lol
-------------------- My purpose: to love, to share, and to experience....all while conforming to my psychedelic experiences.
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