|
Anonymous #1
|
Why am I boring?
#18787877 - 09/02/13 12:41 AM (10 years, 4 months ago) |
|
|
It just feels like there's something else people have that I don't. For the most part I'm pretty mellow but I want to be the crazy fun guy. I do lots of fun things and get myself out there, but I am just not really the fun guy you see who's always in party-mode. I get incredibly down on myself when I see other people having way more fun than I am having. I'm an intelligent, good looking, open-minded and adventurous person but I am so held back by this I feel it just detracts from my entire being. I can be that guy sometimes and I want to be him always!
I've tried to boost my confidence through therapy but it did nothing for me. I don't believe I'm supposed to be like this because I know I can change myself if I only knew how. I wonder if I'm held back by my judgments of other people or a fear of what they think of me.
How can I go about overcoming this? I want to be more fun all the time. I want people to want to be around me and love me.
|
Anonymous #2
|
|
Bad desires, in my opinion. Just be yourself and forget about your higher standards of fun.
|
Anonymous #3
|
|
Sounds exactly like me. I am always wondering what happened to the child version of me, who used to go out and have lots of fun and be loud and not be self-conscious whatsoever.
Then school and college and adult-hood happened, and there's so many stupid thoughts about social situations that would never have occurred when you were a kid. Hence, when you were a kid you may have had more friends.
I know that I did, anyway. I mean, between the ages of like 10 and 15, when I went out with my friends there was like always more than 20 that met up! Then by the time everyone started drinking and having sex it just started to get awkward and you'd start thinking about how you seemed to people (girls in particularly [well for me I'm a male and straight]). And yeah, I think that's what happens to people.
I may have gotten all that wrong and be totally way off with what you're even talking about; I'm pretty high at the moment! But that's what's happened to me anyway - I'm always too busy watching the other people that are good at being themselves regardless of the social situation and just still have that beautiful child-like outlook -- and that makes me the 'boring' person cause I psychologically cannot start being the fun person when I have that shit on my mind.
I will fucking fix it, though! I hope you do too!
|
Penelope_Tree
Shamanic Panic



Registered: 07/31/09
Posts: 8,535
Loc: magic sugarcastle
|
|
Quote:
Anonymous said: I know I can change myself if I only knew how. I wonder if I'm held back by my judgments of other people or a fear of what they think of me.
How can I go about overcoming this? I want to be more fun all the time.
You know what to do.
Give your own opinions more weight than the opinions of other people. If you want to be more fun, then be more fun - do the things that you think are fun and make a person fun to be around (whether its being outgoing, sharing stories, making plans, etc). If you have trouble with social anxiety, try rationalization ("whats the worst that could happen if I did this?" It will likely not be life threatening or even dangerous to your social status - perhaps uncomfortable at most as you start to get used to putting yourself out there, which will get easier with practice).
You'll get rejected and you'll get judged, but it will mean you're becoming your own person. Just keep your head up and keep trying.
--------------------
full blown human
|
Sham87
mashAllah


Registered: 05/16/11
Posts: 9,816
|
|
Solid advice.
--------------------
   ...once in a while you get shown the light in the strangest places if you look at it right...
|
Anonymous #4
|
|
People hate you because you're full of yourself, not because you're boring.
|
ManianFH
living in perverty


Registered: 07/06/04
Posts: 14,741
Last seen: 2 minutes, 15 seconds
|
|
i think boring can be good. why does life always have to go 100 mph? some of my favorite moments in life include sleep, tv, and eating food.
sure theres also the drinking, gambling, sex, drugs and all that nonsense. but now ill just take the sex, then all the quiet stuff , maybe some gambling
-------------------- notapillow said: "you are going about this endeavor all wrong. clear your mind of useless fear and concern. buy the ticket, take the ride, and all that.... " ChrisWho said: "It's all about the journey, not the destination."
|
Spacerific
- - - >


Registered: 10/13/12
Posts: 4,923
Last seen: 8 years, 9 months
|
Re: Why am I boring? [Re: ManianFH]
#18791997 - 09/02/13 08:58 PM (10 years, 4 months ago) |
|
|
Take more. Go to psy festivals and other fun trippy hippie gatherings, and take more. Shit will happen for you 
Do not waste your festival money on therapists, that's just counter productive IMO. You need all sorts of supplies and gear to be out there, then you need to have a solid stash to trip from, and then from there the and and will tell you what to do and how to enjoy best.
Believe OP, believe
-------------------- Blessed are your eyes because they see, and your ears because they hear.
For truly, I say to you, many prophets and righteous people longed to see what you see, and did not see it, and to hear what you hear, and did not hear it. - Matthew 13:16
|
MoxyOx
Grazin'

Registered: 10/08/10
Posts: 1,439
Loc:
Last seen: 1 month, 20 days
|
|
Quote:
Spacerific said:

-------------------- No one behind, no one ahead. The path the ancients cleared has closed. And the other path, everyone's path, easy and wide, goes nowhere. I am alone and find my way.
|
Anonymous #1
|
|
Quote:
Penelope_Tree said:
Quote:
Anonymous said: I know I can change myself if I only knew how. I wonder if I'm held back by my judgments of other people or a fear of what they think of me.
How can I go about overcoming this? I want to be more fun all the time.
You know what to do.
Give your own opinions more weight than the opinions of other people. If you want to be more fun, then be more fun - do the things that you think are fun and make a person fun to be around (whether its being outgoing, sharing stories, making plans, etc). If you have trouble with social anxiety, try rationalization ("whats the worst that could happen if I did this?" It will likely not be life threatening or even dangerous to your social status - perhaps uncomfortable at most as you start to get used to putting yourself out there, which will get easier with practice).
You'll get rejected and you'll get judged, but it will mean you're becoming your own person. Just keep your head up and keep trying. 
Thanks for the advice guys. I guess it just takes consistent solid effort like I thought it would . I just need to start letting people judge me and not care, because I'm so obsessed with not being judged...
Thank Penelope
Quote:
Spacerific said: Take more. Go to psy festivals and other fun trippy hippie gatherings, and take more. Shit will happen for you 
Do not waste your festival money on therapists, that's just counter productive IMO. You need all sorts of supplies and gear to be out there, then you need to have a solid stash to trip from, and then from there the and and will tell you what to do and how to enjoy best.
Believe OP, believe 
Believe me, this is my usual tactic. Take a lot of something and have fun. This used to work with psychedelics and I loved doing them with people until I started having bad trips. I had a full-blown psychotic episode at a festival and I wasn't okay for months. Now ever since then I can hardly handle even looking people in the eye on medium doses on any psychedelic. I constantly analyze their reactions and language to the point of insanity.
I would love to be able to handle myself on acid around people. I had my first real panic attack last time I took acid, and that was at HOME. I started freaking out about shit, had to leave the house and run down to the creek and meditate. I actually blacked out and had ego death from the immense stress of the situation. I spent the next 5 hours teaching myself how to think and access stored memories. Oh and I thought I was going to have a heart attack.
The irony is I have never felt more free and able to communicate with another human being than when I was on psych's. If you let yourself become free of personal judgments you open yourself up to that person and connect with them on such a deep level. I just need to figure this out again
---
I let things people do bother me too easily and I think that causes me to obsess over not bothering people.
Edited by Anonymous (09/05/13 12:45 PM)
|
JesusGoneRogue


Registered: 10/24/10
Posts: 9,495
|
|
You just have to throw yourself out there. Hold your head up high. Don't speak just to hear yourself speak, but when you do speak, speak with enthusiasm. Don't be afraid to approach people and make conversation. Like all things, you'll get better with experience. Don't give up
|
Spacerific
- - - >


Registered: 10/13/12
Posts: 4,923
Last seen: 8 years, 9 months
|
|
OP, if what you say is true, then what I'd recommend is an Aya ceremony. Take this with a grain of salt of course, it's solely based on my limited personal experience.
I don't know what it is about that Santo Daime music and the Aya together, that just restores the brain's rhythms and patterns to a normal healthy cadence. Not too fast (overthinking) not too slow (missing out clues) but just spot on right, in the sweet zone.
I'm pretty sure that those aya trips gave me plenty of balance and shielded me from bad trips on other things in other contexts. If you need help with a reset, IMO Aya in a ceremony might be it.
-------------------- Blessed are your eyes because they see, and your ears because they hear.
For truly, I say to you, many prophets and righteous people longed to see what you see, and did not see it, and to hear what you hear, and did not hear it. - Matthew 13:16
|
|