|
ch1ck3n.s0up
Troubled Loner



Registered: 10/03/08
Posts: 2,573
Loc: Hunting Fungi
Last seen: 2 years, 6 months
|
How to be Romantic?
#18782835 - 08/31/13 08:17 PM (10 years, 4 months ago) |
|
|
At this point I know that women like flowers.
That's all I got.
What exactly is romance? What do I have to do to be romantic? Does it have to be expensive? Do I schedule time for romance? Is romance more than physical?

-------------------- "Inspiration ~ Move me brightly ~ light the song with sense and color ~ hold away despair ~ more than this I will not ask ~ faced with mysteries dark and vast ~ statements just seem vain at last" --Jerry Garcia, Terrapin Station "Officer, I'm going to remain silent, and I would like to speak with a lawyer. I'm not resisting, but I don't consent to any searches.
|
JesusGoneRogue


Registered: 10/24/10
Posts: 9,495
|
|
Romance is vast. It's not something you can learn in a night.
|
Yogi1
Squatchin
Registered: 04/01/13
Posts: 1,015
Last seen: 4 years, 2 months
|
|
Quote:
ch1ck3n.s0up said: At this point I know that women like flowers.
That's all I got.
What exactly is romance? What do I have to do to be romantic? Does it have to be expensive? Do I schedule time for romance? Is romance more than physical?


It will obviously vary from woman to woman based on needs turn ons and communication styles. What I've learned that works for me with women worth being romantic for is to simply be honest and open. Maybe figure out what she's used to from past males and what she lacked from them.
Sending a cute song to her on facebook that describes how she makes you feel etc. You'll get it. And you'll fail after getting it.
--------------------
|
Ballerium
Little Black Spot on the Sun



Registered: 10/03/10
Posts: 11,025
Loc: GA
|
|
I think romance can mean different things to different people. Flowers and dinners and things like that are just the most generic cliche things that people always think of.
I mean don't get me wrong, I like dinner, and flowers can be nice every once in a while, but those particular things also don't really take much thought because they can apply to everyone. But with that said, it is certainly a step in the right direction and better than doing nothing at all. And if you do insist on getting flowers or taking her to dinner, at least take the time to find out what kind of flowers she likes and what sort of food she likes to eat.
For me personally though, I think it is very romantic when a guy actually pays attention to things that I actually like, and tries to do thoughtful things based around my interests. Say for instance I like electronic music and my favorite producer is coming to town so I mention that fact to my boyfriend. It would be so fucking awesome if he made a mental note of that and went to the trouble to buy us tickets and surprise me with them one night.
I also like camping and going to the mountains and stuff. I've never once been surprised or even asked to go on any kind of trip with him. If I ever want to do anything like that, I'm always the one that has to bring it up and then I usually end up getting shot down. 
I guess my bitterness is coming through a little in this post but basically, what I would love to see from him, is that he actually thought about me enough to put some effort into doing something that he knows I would like. That and showing me that he actually wants to spend some time with me.
Its not hard really. If you truly care about someone and want to impress them and show them that you care, it'll come through in one way or another. Just be creative and pay attention. 
And if we're talking about sex, then please, god, make time for foreplay. You won't be disappointed. Would you rather have a girl dissatisfied because you were in such a hurry to get your dick wet and too selfish to bother trying to turn her on, or would you rather have a girl who is sopping wet and begging you to fuck her because you did such an amazing job at teasing her?
Edited by Ballerium (08/31/13 10:19 PM)
|
ch1ck3n.s0up
Troubled Loner



Registered: 10/03/08
Posts: 2,573
Loc: Hunting Fungi
Last seen: 2 years, 6 months
|
Re: How to be Romantic? [Re: Ballerium]
#18783158 - 08/31/13 09:27 PM (10 years, 4 months ago) |
|
|
Is the goal of romance to get laid?
Is it a good or bad idea to ask a woman what she finds to be romantic?
-------------------- "Inspiration ~ Move me brightly ~ light the song with sense and color ~ hold away despair ~ more than this I will not ask ~ faced with mysteries dark and vast ~ statements just seem vain at last" --Jerry Garcia, Terrapin Station "Officer, I'm going to remain silent, and I would like to speak with a lawyer. I'm not resisting, but I don't consent to any searches.
|
JesusGoneRogue


Registered: 10/24/10
Posts: 9,495
|
Re: How to be Romantic? [Re: Ballerium]
#18783162 - 08/31/13 09:28 PM (10 years, 4 months ago) |
|
|
|
Yogi1
Squatchin
Registered: 04/01/13
Posts: 1,015
Last seen: 4 years, 2 months
|
|
Quote:
ch1ck3n.s0up said: Is the goal of romance to get laid?
Is it a good or bad idea to ask a woman what she finds to be romantic?
I cant tell if you be trollin, but if not, here. I dont think you need anything more than lies to get laid. I would simply be very mild with my romance actions and feel her out until you've seen what she responds to. That doesnt mean she wont respond to everything and it doesnt me she will like that sort of thing at all...
--------------------
|
Ballerium
Little Black Spot on the Sun



Registered: 10/03/10
Posts: 11,025
Loc: GA
|
|
Quote:
ch1ck3n.s0up said: Is the goal of romance to get laid?
Depends on whether or not you're wanting to just fuck the girl or if you're looking for something more. 
I'll just say this: Don't be one of those guys who does all these sweet and romantic things to win a girl, then once you've won her over, get lazy and stop making the effort. If you really like her and want something special with her, then show her she's worth the effort all the time, not just the time it takes to win her over.
Quote:
ch1ck3n.s0up said: Is it a good or bad idea to ask a woman what she finds to be romantic?
I would say definitely a good idea. It shows her that you're interested in what she likes.
-------------------- Beats and waves will take me to my grave and when I go there I know that I won't be alone 'cause I've been spotted, blotted, many many times before.
|
Cyclohexylamine
Turn on, Tune in, Drop out



Registered: 09/08/10
Posts: 14,327
|
|
Quote:
Ballerium said: I think romance can mean different things to different people. Flowers and dinners and things like that are just the most generic cliche things that people always think of.
I mean don't get me wrong, I like dinner, and flowers can be nice every once in a while, but those particular things also don't really take much thought because they can apply to everyone. But with that said, it is certainly a step in the right direction and better than doing nothing at all. And if you do insist on getting flowers or taking her to dinner, at least take the time to find out what kind of flowers she likes and what sort of food she likes to eat.
For me personally though, I think it is very romantic when a guy actually pays attention to things that I actually like, and tries to do thoughtful things based around my interests. Say for instance I like electronic music and my favorite producer is coming to town so I mention that fact to my boyfriend. It would be so fucking awesome if he made a mental note of that and went to the trouble to buy us tickets and surprise me with them one night.
I also like camping and going to the mountains and stuff. I've never once been surprised or even asked to go on any kind of trip with him. If I ever want to do anything like that, I'm always the one that has to bring it up and then I usually end up getting shot down. 
I guess my bitterness is coming through a little in this post but basically, what I would love to see from him, is that he actually thought about me enough to put some effort into doing something that he knows I would like. That and showing me that he actually wants to spend some time with me.
Its not hard really. If you truly care about someone and want to impress them and show them that you care, it'll come through in one way or another. Just be creative and pay attention. 
And if we're talking about sex, then please, god, make time for foreplay. You won't be disappointed. Would you rather have a girl dissatisfied because you were in such a hurry to get your dick wet and too selfish to bother trying to turn her on, or would you rather have a girl who is sopping wet and begging you to fuck her because you did such an amazing job at teasing her?
I think you already know the answer Ballerium - and what you need to do. You can hope for people to change, but the reality is, people usually never change, at least not while in a relationship. Sometimes the act of breaking up "knocks some sense into them" - but I don't see any evidence of it happening in your current relationship. And eventually you have to decide if you are willing to either put up with no change and decide to live a life where you punish yourself by settling, or take your future into your own hands. Obviously making the step to end things is hard - but speaking from experience, in a few months you will look back and see you made the right choice.
Quote:
ch1ck3n.s0up said: At this point I know that women like flowers.
That's all I got.
What exactly is romance? What do I have to do to be romantic? Does it have to be expensive? Do I schedule time for romance? Is romance more than physical?


Not all women like flowers, nor are all women romantic.. It really involves getting to know your girlfriend, asking questions about what she likes or just noticing / being more cognisant, and finding out what your girlfriend's love language is. For example, my girlfriend / partner does not really enjoy flowers - while I am and am overjoyed when she buys me flowers  But Ballerium hit the nail on the head - it's not so much the "buying flowers" part but the "I took the time to think of you and do this thing for you that I know you will like because I care enough that I X".
-------------------- Yes this is tymo - I just changed my name Have you ever had a dream that you were so sure was real? What if you were unable to awake from that dream? How would you know the difference between that dream world and the real world? There is NOTHING better than feeling that warm dissociative fuzz creeping up your body from IM K Something abut that anaesthetic rush... Qualitative Research Chemical Effects and Experiences The Wonderful World of Methoxetamine The 3-Meo-PCP Chapters, Part One
|
brokentv

Registered: 03/02/12
Posts: 2,417
Last seen: 6 years, 8 months
|
|
I found out first hand recently that romanticism can be a bit of a turn off towards females, at least ones you just met. So if its a girl you just met just be your self and don't try any gimmicky shenanigans.
|
Yogi1
Squatchin
Registered: 04/01/13
Posts: 1,015
Last seen: 4 years, 2 months
|
Re: How to be Romantic? [Re: brokentv]
#18785127 - 09/01/13 12:37 PM (10 years, 4 months ago) |
|
|
Quote:
brokentv said: I found out first hand recently that romanticism can be a bit of a turn off towards females, at least ones you just met. So if its a girl you just met just be your self and don't try any gimmicky shenanigans.
--------------------
|
JesusGoneRogue


Registered: 10/24/10
Posts: 9,495
|
Re: How to be Romantic? [Re: Yogi1]
#18785233 - 09/01/13 01:08 PM (10 years, 4 months ago) |
|
|
I love your sig. That's romantic
|
|