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ShroomPuncher
The FunGuy



Registered: 10/30/12
Posts: 988
Loc: Mother Earth
Last seen: 6 months, 17 days
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Painful Injury Thread
#18782708 - 08/31/13 07:50 PM (10 years, 4 months ago) |
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Post the most painful, awkward, funny injuries you've ever had. No pain, no gain. If you're feeling really ballsy, go ahead post stories of your buddies busting their asses. 
Worst injury I've had was probably to the back of my skull where my scalp got ripped open a little. Most painful is probably the back problem I've been dealing with for a while now.
Funniest injury was when I hopped a guardrail and my switchblade popped open and sliced my knee open.
Your turn. I expect to hear some good drunk stories!
Edited by ShroomPuncher (08/31/13 07:51 PM)
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Masked
The Nutter



Registered: 11/26/12
Posts: 8,979
Loc: Canada
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Most painful : 2nd degree burn over the entire palm of my hand
Most notable: My entire left cheek was opened up by glass in a car accident when I was 13. My tongue was hanging out and shit
funniest: I was tobogganing drunk on an old school metal flying saucer and took a huge jump and somehow my leg went out and underneath, so I landed on it with my full weight, breaking my ankle badly in 2 places.
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vinsue
Grand Old Fart



Registered: 02/17/04
Posts: 17,953
Loc: The Garden State(NJ)
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I tore my ACL one time playing volley ball. It still isn't right even after surgery. Good times... . . .
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"All mushrooms are edible; but some only once." Croatian proverb. BTW ... Have You Rated Ythans Mom Yet ?? ... ... HERE'S HOW ... (be nice) . ...
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ReginaldPMcpoop
The Colour Out of Space

Registered: 06/30/13
Posts: 645
Last seen: 9 years, 10 months
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I have a pain in my chest. It's probably cancer.
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Dark_Star
train driver pervading a desktop


Registered: 08/20/04
Posts: 31,859
Loc: Uranus
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poke smot! will win this one.
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Shroomslip
Architekt



Registered: 11/25/12
Posts: 23,651
Last seen: 3 hours, 28 minutes
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3 pound catfish spike (roughly 1/16th of an inch thick and 2-3 inches long, not exactly needle like) through the back of my hand, almost all the way through it, you could see it poking up on the other side but it didn't break the skin on the opposite side.
cat jumped up on my back and started tearing at my head when I was 5, lost a ton of blood and had to get a bunch of stitches, no pain medicine because I was bleeding too bad.
went swimming in the local fishing hole water, the mud was knee deep, dunno what I stepped on, either broken bottle or very large oyster shell, cut the ball of my foot open right behind my big toe so deep you could see the joint and tendons and stuff, was about 3 inches long, had to walk 20 feet back to shore in knee deep mud with this huge gash. I didn't really feel the pain until I was back to shore but I KNEW it was going to be bad as soon as I felt it go through my foot.
got super jumped (I was over our roof) on a trampoline when I was 13ish.. Came down back first and the first thing to make contact was my head on the metal bar. For a week it felt like my brain was knocking around inside my skull when I moved.
Without a doubt the most painful was falling out of the attic, ass first on solid wood floor. Tailbone took the full brunt of the fall. Never felt pain approaching that before and never want to again. I couldn't sit down for days. I was 15 or so, and ended up downing a fifth of rum in about 20 minutes, and was sitting on 3-4 pillows and it was still extremely painful. In comparison I barely drank a 1/4 of that when I cut my foot open and was walking around on it feeling no pain.
That's just some.. I'm highly prone to injury.
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With my face against the floor I can’t see who knocked me out of the way. I don’t want to get back up but I have to so it might as well be today. Nothing appeals to me no one feels like me, I’m too busy being calm to disappear. I’m in no shape to be alone contrary to the shit that you might hear. You can't wake up, this is not a dream. You're part of a machine, you are not a human being With your face all made up, living on a screen. Low on self esteem, so you run on gasoline
Edited by Shroomslip (08/31/13 08:02 PM)
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Synthe
Gatorade me, bitch!



Registered: 11/10/12
Posts: 7,961
Loc: Three bags of Funyuns
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Most painful/awkward - stepping on a picture frame and cutting up my bare foot with glass pretty bad
Most funny - too hard until my skin was raw for days
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kinkaku
I AM THE LAW!!!!




Registered: 04/02/13
Posts: 1,322
Loc: Россия
Last seen: 8 years, 1 month
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Re: Painful Injury Thread [Re: Synthe]
#18782794 - 08/31/13 08:08 PM (10 years, 4 months ago) |
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when I was younger a dog bit me in the face, blood everywhere,i was young so my whole head was in its mouth. I remember the owner bashed it with a baseball bat a few times untill it let go.
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lazyfingers
grrr

Registered: 08/07/09
Posts: 3,347
Last seen: 4 years, 22 hours
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Re: Painful Injury Thread [Re: Shroomslip]
#18782827 - 08/31/13 08:16 PM (10 years, 4 months ago) |
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I got kidnapped when I was about 8. Some guy tied me down on a bed and left me there. I was wondering why there was no mattress when he returned wearing a black mask and carrying a bottle of lighter fluid. He proceeded to drench my testicles with lighter fluid, and when he struck a match I said, "no please don't".
He laughed maniacally as he set my nutsack aflame. I passed out, and later woke up writhing in agony for what seemed like days. Somebody must have heard my screams because soon (but not soon enough for my boys) a stranger grabbed my arm and said "son, you're going to be okay".
That's why I can't eat anything that's grilled.
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kinkaku
I AM THE LAW!!!!




Registered: 04/02/13
Posts: 1,322
Loc: Россия
Last seen: 8 years, 1 month
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Re: Painful Injury Thread [Re: lazyfingers] 1
#18782860 - 08/31/13 08:22 PM (10 years, 4 months ago) |
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Quote:
lazyfingers said: I got kidnapped when I was about 8. Some guy tied me down on a bed and left me there. I was wondering why there was no mattress when he returned wearing a black mask and carrying a bottle of lighter fluid. He proceeded to drench my testicles with lighter fluid, and when he struck a match I said, "no please don't".
He laughed maniacally as he set my nutsack aflame. I passed out, and later woke up writhing in agony for what seemed like days. Somebody must have heard my screams because soon (but not soon enough for my boys) a stranger grabbed my arm and said "son, you're going to be okay".
That's why I can't eat anything that's grilled.
really?
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lazyfingers
grrr

Registered: 08/07/09
Posts: 3,347
Last seen: 4 years, 22 hours
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Re: Painful Injury Thread [Re: kinkaku]
#18782862 - 08/31/13 08:23 PM (10 years, 4 months ago) |
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kinkaku
I AM THE LAW!!!!




Registered: 04/02/13
Posts: 1,322
Loc: Россия
Last seen: 8 years, 1 month
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Is that your funny injury?
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ShroomPuncher
The FunGuy



Registered: 10/30/12
Posts: 988
Loc: Mother Earth
Last seen: 6 months, 17 days
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Re: Painful Injury Thread [Re: kinkaku]
#18782893 - 08/31/13 08:31 PM (10 years, 4 months ago) |
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Quote:
kinkaku said:
Quote:
lazyfingers said: I got kidnapped when I was about 8. Some guy tied me down on a bed and left me there. I was wondering why there was no mattress when he returned wearing a black mask and carrying a bottle of lighter fluid. He proceeded to drench my testicles with lighter fluid, and when he struck a match I said, "no please don't".
He laughed maniacally as he set my nutsack aflame. I passed out, and later woke up writhing in agony for what seemed like days. Somebody must have heard my screams because soon (but not soon enough for my boys) a stranger grabbed my arm and said "son, you're going to be okay".
That's why I can't eat anything that's grilled.
really?
What he said. You'd definitely take the most psychologically fucked injury on that one.
-------------------- Hunting Psillies? Want a sig or avatar made? Message me. [Prints in exchange would be nice, but not required]
Disclaimer: I in no way engage in violent acts against mushrooms, nor do I support or advocate such behavior.
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memes
Blessed



Registered: 01/11/05
Posts: 27,785
Loc: In a Tree
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I had epididymitis once. It was horrible.
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lil_demented
Loner will lone

Registered: 09/11/06
Posts: 6,146
Last seen: 1 month, 8 days
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Re: Painful Injury Thread [Re: kinkaku]
#18782910 - 08/31/13 08:35 PM (10 years, 4 months ago) |
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I was cutting off some silicone with a razor knife. I slipped and stuck it through my thumb. The blade missed the bone and stuck through the other side under my thumbnail. Poked about a cm out the other side.
This pic is like two days later.
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kinkaku
I AM THE LAW!!!!




Registered: 04/02/13
Posts: 1,322
Loc: Россия
Last seen: 8 years, 1 month
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also one time I was using acid and it spilled on my glove and melted through it burned my skin pretty bad,cool looking scar though.
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lil_demented
Loner will lone

Registered: 09/11/06
Posts: 6,146
Last seen: 1 month, 8 days
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Re: Painful Injury Thread [Re: kinkaku]
#18782934 - 08/31/13 08:39 PM (10 years, 4 months ago) |
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Quote:
kinkaku said: also one time I was using acid and it spilled on my glove and melted through it burned my skin pretty bad,cool looking scar though.
Ouch. Sounds like u used the wrong gloves.
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vinsue
Grand Old Fart



Registered: 02/17/04
Posts: 17,953
Loc: The Garden State(NJ)
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Quote:
lazyfingers said: I got kidnapped when I was about 8.
. . .
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"All mushrooms are edible; but some only once." Croatian proverb. BTW ... Have You Rated Ythans Mom Yet ?? ... ... HERE'S HOW ... (be nice) . ...
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Synthe
Gatorade me, bitch!



Registered: 11/10/12
Posts: 7,961
Loc: Three bags of Funyuns
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Re: Painful Injury Thread [Re: vinsue] 1
#18782955 - 08/31/13 08:44 PM (10 years, 4 months ago) |
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...
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kinkaku
I AM THE LAW!!!!




Registered: 04/02/13
Posts: 1,322
Loc: Россия
Last seen: 8 years, 1 month
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Quote:
lil_demented said:
Quote:
kinkaku said: also one time I was using acid and it spilled on my glove and melted through it burned my skin pretty bad,cool looking scar though.
Ouch. Sounds like u used the wrong gloves.
thats what happens when you get to comfortable I was in a hurry and a co-worker said that he never uses the right gloves so I was like whatever and then that happened. luckily i got the glove off before it got really bad I lied to my boss and told him I got biten by my neighbors dog so I wouldnt have to fill out an accident report and look like a dumbass.
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lil_demented
Loner will lone

Registered: 09/11/06
Posts: 6,146
Last seen: 1 month, 8 days
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Re: Painful Injury Thread [Re: kinkaku]
#18782975 - 08/31/13 08:47 PM (10 years, 4 months ago) |
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That and the drug test that goes along with it
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Corporal Kielbasa


Registered: 05/29/04
Posts: 17,235
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Ran my hand threw a large torch blistered my fingers and burnt my fingernail blowing glass late night tired.
Broke my wrist dropping in a cement pool, used toilet paper rolls and duct tape for over a week before going in and getting a cast put on. Still shredded the mt though.
Broke my foot by like bending it in my bindings on my board. board went to one side of a block of ice body went the other way. road off the hill took the lift up the hill to the lot. Took my foot out and it instantly ballooned and hurt like hell. waited another week till it wouldn't fit in my sneakers anymore.
Almost pulled a Bono sliding out on ice and karate chopping a tree with the side of my head. Knocked out for like a min slid down the hill on my board, got to the car ate a bandanna barfed and passed out for like 3 hours.
Got hit in the head with a beer bottle.
Run over by a cadi and drug some 50 feet. Tire went across my guts and mashed my liver into five pieces and mashed up my intestines.Broke ribs and punctured my lungs. Bled out twice. one when it happened and a second time after the first surgery. They missed a leak and pulled two liters of blood out of my stomach cavity. That summer was crazy painful even with heavy opiates. think i had an out of body experience I remember looking down from like the ceiling and seeing the doctors pulling my guts out on the table and looking for the laceration.. They told my family that when i wake up that i 'd probably be a vegetable or at least have major brain damage from lack of oxygen.
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xbloodwhipx

Registered: 02/24/12
Posts: 12,791
Last seen: 4 years, 5 months
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Re: Painful Injury Thread [Re: vinsue] 5
#18783083 - 08/31/13 09:10 PM (10 years, 4 months ago) |
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Quote:
vinsue said:
Quote:
lazyfingers said: I got kidnapped when I was about 8.
. . . 
Why dont you post . . . in your sig lol
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vinsue
Grand Old Fart



Registered: 02/17/04
Posts: 17,953
Loc: The Garden State(NJ)
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Re: Painful Injury Thread [Re: xbloodwhipx] 3
#18783154 - 08/31/13 09:26 PM (10 years, 4 months ago) |
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If you look carefully, and pay attention, you'll see that there is a ... in my sig. . . .
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"All mushrooms are edible; but some only once." Croatian proverb. BTW ... Have You Rated Ythans Mom Yet ?? ... ... HERE'S HOW ... (be nice) . ...
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NWlight
Just look


Registered: 01/12/10
Posts: 18,686
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Re: Painful Injury Thread [Re: vinsue]
#18783794 - 09/01/13 01:05 AM (10 years, 4 months ago) |
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Quote:
vinsue said: If you look carefully, and pay attention, you'll see that there is a ... in my sig. . . . 

I always wondered that too,
and just noticed that, too.
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Versicolor
♖♘♗♔♕♗♘♖



Registered: 05/04/11
Posts: 2,268
Loc:
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Re: Painful Injury Thread [Re: NWlight]
#18783840 - 09/01/13 01:30 AM (10 years, 4 months ago) |
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Climbed one of these trees and fell.
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Dreaming Nomad
Psyborg



Registered: 01/15/13
Posts: 908
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Re: Painful Injury Thread [Re: NWlight]
#18783852 - 09/01/13 01:34 AM (10 years, 4 months ago) |
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Here's a knee slapper for y'all... Last night (Friday) I was at this club with a bub gettin fucked up on jaiger bombs when I pulled my junk out and started pissing in the middle of the dance floor hahaha. Ehhhhh I was just like Fuck it man spraying side to side.
A bouncer I guess came outta nowhere and tackled my ass and they kicked me out. Hell nah so I ran back in and popped the bouncer dude in the forehead being the goofy motherfucker i am thinking i was a real cool badass sumbitch so he punched me in the nose and threw my iPhone 4 at the damn wall cracking the screen up real bad luckily I have a backup iPhone 3 tho I'm on it now. Well they threw me out AGAIN thankfully my bubby got my phone and hauled my ass home.
I don't remember NUTHIN tho I woke up this morning in my bed like wwwwwww ttttttt ffffffffffffffff...... Clothes all over the place trying to breathe through my nose unsuccessfully man it was a pitiful sight I bet. So now my nose is all busted up I think it might be broken. I straightened it out and heard cartilage cracking like in the movies but I think I'll be OK. Might have that "Owen Wilson" look tho. But shit I mean I've been kicked out of better places than that. Shitty little club those folks probably had the herp anywayzzz.
(Edit: stupid iPhone auto spell correct)
Edited by Dreaming Nomad (09/01/13 02:33 AM)
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rackem



Registered: 11/27/09
Posts: 14,024
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once upon a fourth of july i went to go play with fireworks my sister being who she is hid my shoes.. i said fug it i dont need no shoes and went and played with fire... well i ended up wrapping both my feet together (couldt pull them apart) in plastic.
i still dont have much feeling in my feet.
i still hate shoes
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NWlight
Just look


Registered: 01/12/10
Posts: 18,686
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Re: Painful Injury Thread [Re: rackem]
#18783875 - 09/01/13 01:50 AM (10 years, 4 months ago) |
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one time I got really fucking high on Xanax, alcohol, molly, coke, opium, and weed.
then I decided to take a knife and cut my leg open to see if it would hurt.
does that count? 
i'm not even emo, and I have never cut myself since. I just wanted to see if I could do it.
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Dreaming Nomad
Psyborg



Registered: 01/15/13
Posts: 908
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Re: Painful Injury Thread [Re: rackem]
#18783881 - 09/01/13 01:52 AM (10 years, 4 months ago) |
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Holy cow man sounds like you cut off the circulation in your feet and murdered your nerve endings... That's hardcore. One time I stuck one of those little black cat underwater dynamite firecrackers in a dudes pocket and he was too scared to reach in and pull it out rofl. He got a nasty black and white scorch mark on his thigh lol I felt bad afterwards tho even tho it was funny as fuck.
One time and buddy and I were wearing welding hoods and shooting each other in the face with bottle rockets. Well at one point one of em flew around and got inside my mask. Needless to say it exploded next to my cheek, burning the hell outta me and leaving me with a bad case of tinnitus!
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They say curiosity killed the cat... Fortunately, I am not a cat.
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NWlight
Just look


Registered: 01/12/10
Posts: 18,686
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Quote:
Dreaming Nomad said:
One time and buddy and I were wearing welding hoods and shooting each other in the face with bottle rockets. Well at one point one of em flew around and got inside my mask. Needless to say it exploded next to my cheek, burning the hell outta me and leaving me with a bad case of tinnitus!
oh the things we wish we had on video
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relsseS
Moving back and forth


Registered: 08/06/13
Posts: 180
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Re: Painful Injury Thread [Re: NWlight]
#18783903 - 09/01/13 01:59 AM (10 years, 4 months ago) |
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Aw man, you guys have some brutal ass injuries.
One time my drunk asshole of an ex-friend walked up to me while I was on the computer and sliced my arm with a piece of broken glass, like a 4 inch deep ass wound. I knew I needed stitches but I never went and got them, now it's just a huge ugly purple scar.
Also, one time a friend threw a bunch of change at me cuz I was repeatedly honking his horn while he was pumping gas, and a nickel flew and literally knocked my tooth out. Well, about 3/4 of my tooth. It shattered into tooth dust. I had an exposed nerve hanging out for a few days, and let me tell you, that HURTS. Even the wind from breathing makes you feel like a needle is being stabbed into your mouth.
-------------------- I'm just here to learn.
 
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Madshrooms
Stoner/Shroomer



Registered: 08/20/13
Posts: 18
Loc: California
Last seen: 10 years, 4 months
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Damn
-------------------- One night I sat at an edge of a free way bridge and ate some shrooms i could feel the wind kissing my body it was like God had a purpose of me being here the car lights were sparkling and forming into different shapes. I felt that if i died everything would be fine because I felt God could take me in his arms and fly me to heaven . All my problems Vanished. I had never felt so much happiness.
That was the best day of my life
My avatar is me vaporizing some hash i was amazed with that cloud 
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Dreaming Nomad
Psyborg



Registered: 01/15/13
Posts: 908
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Re: Painful Injury Thread [Re: relsseS]
#18783930 - 09/01/13 02:15 AM (10 years, 4 months ago) |
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Dude he just walked up and sliced your arm open for no reason? Wtf? That's grounds for a massive uppercut right there dude. He'd probably be my ex-friend, too.
Quote:
NWlight said: oh the things we wish we had on video 
Roflcopter yeah I wish I had myself punching that guy in the forehead on video hahaha that'd be wassup. He was one of those shaven shiny headed bald tough guys too... POW! right in the noggin. My buddy that was with me is a pretty animated character and its so hilarious the way he recounts the story, I wish I could convey it to you guys I literally lmao when he tells it. Well not literally but I rofl for sure!
Injuries are funny.
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They say curiosity killed the cat... Fortunately, I am not a cat.
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Dreaming Nomad
Psyborg



Registered: 01/15/13
Posts: 908
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Re: Painful Injury Thread [Re: Versicolor]
#18783948 - 09/01/13 02:24 AM (10 years, 4 months ago) |
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Quote:
Versicolor said: Climbed one of these trees and fell.
Reminds me of a time as a teenager when I attempted to learn skateboarding... I built up some courage and pushed off down this steep ass drive way without knowing how to stop, and landing in this huge yucca bush.
Can't post pics from my iPhone but here's what a yucca plant looks like. The ends are really strong and have needle sharp points. Yucca bush
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They say curiosity killed the cat... Fortunately, I am not a cat.
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Niffla



Registered: 06/09/08
Posts: 46,485
Loc: Texas
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I broke the shit out of my arm playing football when I was like 12. I mean a break so clean that the damn bone nearly came through my skin.
Yeah that sucked.
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HAIL OUR NEW OTD KING
Edited by Niffla (09/01/13 05:58 AM)
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kinkaku
I AM THE LAW!!!!




Registered: 04/02/13
Posts: 1,322
Loc: Россия
Last seen: 8 years, 1 month
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Re: Painful Injury Thread [Re: Niffla]
#18785748 - 09/01/13 03:16 PM (10 years, 4 months ago) |
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just today I was watching two retard scrappers take apart a piano but they left some of the strings on? among the strings they left on where the big thick bass cords. needless to say I was at a safe distance because I'm a smart guy but towards the end they asked me if I would help them pry off the cast iron bracket that held the strings, I said what the hell and got on the end with no strings,turned my face away just in case. we ended up getting it off and boom one of the guys got whipped in the face by one of the big thick bass cords broke his nose and knocked out part of his tooth but he was a man about it and didnt complain which i give hime props for
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g00ru
lit pants tit licker



Registered: 08/09/07
Posts: 21,088
Loc: georgia, us
Last seen: 5 years, 1 month
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Re: Painful Injury Thread [Re: kinkaku]
#18785762 - 09/01/13 03:21 PM (10 years, 4 months ago) |
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probably falling off my bike and breaking my leg a while back...that took a long ass time to heal and i can still kind of feel it in my hip every now and then. makes me feel like an old man lol
but tied for that is that fact that i have sprained or broken each of my ankles multiple times due to long distance running...several times on the same mountain trails...xD. My right ankle is totally bruised up and sprained right now, its all swollen and purple. Luckily it always seems to heal though...
-------------------- check out my music! drowse in prison and your waking will be but loss
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ShroomPuncher
The FunGuy



Registered: 10/30/12
Posts: 988
Loc: Mother Earth
Last seen: 6 months, 17 days
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Re: Painful Injury Thread [Re: g00ru]
#18786341 - 09/01/13 06:09 PM (10 years, 4 months ago) |
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Damn, ya'll are going hard.
I take mine back, though. I forgot about the time I put Icy Hot on my balls.
-------------------- Hunting Psillies? Want a sig or avatar made? Message me. [Prints in exchange would be nice, but not required]
Disclaimer: I in no way engage in violent acts against mushrooms, nor do I support or advocate such behavior.
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Niffla



Registered: 06/09/08
Posts: 46,485
Loc: Texas
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The freakiest thing about my broken arm was when I was at the hospital and they were trying to get the bone back in place. They completely numbed my arm and were twisting it and turning it and working on it. I could literally hear the bone scrape, crack, and crunch as they were doing so. I didn't feel anything but I almost passed out just thinking about it..like damn, that's my motherfucking bone I'm hearing. The fuck, brah.
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HAIL OUR NEW OTD KING
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11nova
Bipolar Bear



Registered: 09/06/12
Posts: 5,263
Loc: Virginha
Last seen: 6 years, 5 months
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Re: Painful Injury Thread [Re: Niffla]
#18786440 - 09/01/13 06:31 PM (10 years, 4 months ago) |
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damn just yesterday i was going like 20 mph on my short board and i got speed wobbles
i flew off and landed on my right hip and arm
i have the worst burns/cuts on my arms right now
also on my leg
it was sketchy
i didn't have a helmet on i'm just really glad i didnt hit my head
-------------------- I wish I was a headlight, on a northbound train
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