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Anonymous #1

What would you do?
    #18774512 - 08/29/13 06:45 PM (10 years, 5 months ago)

Not usually one for putting out my personal problems for everyone to read so this is a step from losing my mu fuckin mind guys.

I've been dating this girl for 3 1/2 years have 1 26 month old and she is currently 11 weeks pregnant whom I also live with. Now today me and my landlord were talking over rent, he wants to much and I want it as cheap as possible, now let me remind you i've been living here longer then me and her have been dating, i'm close to paying off my mortgage that we are discussing ways to pay it off faster. Well what she does is cuts me off in the middle of everything and tells him we can pay more then hes wanting. So I lose my temper and get angry, and just tell her to mind her own business. Well she raises her voice and plays the whole victim card like shes done many times in the past. So I punch my door and walk out giving us space.

Next thing I know she gets in my car and drives to her home away from home ( her grandparents ) with my son and wont answer her phone. Now her family is the type of family that loves to be in everyones business and spreads all the drama and rumors over.

Now I usually deal with this situation every couple of months or so but I am to old to be dealing with her childish games of he say she say bullshit that she likes to play and am truly over this relationship if she can't get her act together, and i've told her this and still no change. I just find myself staying because of my kids.

Would you stick it out when you know its a reoccurring thing or leave and just do the court thing? I'm not saying I don't love her because I do but i'm not one for wondering if im going to jail because she wants to twist her story to her family and them have the cops called ( which has happened in the past )


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Offlinezappaisgod
horrid asshole


Registered: 02/11/04
Posts: 81,741
Loc: Fractallife's gym
Last seen: 7 years, 8 months
Re: What would you do? [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #18774520 - 08/29/13 06:47 PM (10 years, 5 months ago)

Stick it out.  You deserve each other.


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Anonymous #1

Re: What would you do? [Re: zappaisgod]
    #18774535 - 08/29/13 06:52 PM (10 years, 5 months ago)

It's just hard bro, I have real bad depression and anxiety and it seems like she brings it out on purpose to add to her story of how awful she has it or some shit.


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InvisibleMasked
The Nutter
Male User Gallery


Registered: 11/26/12
Posts: 8,979
Loc: Canada Flag
Re: What would you do? [Re: zappaisgod]
    #18775060 - 08/29/13 08:48 PM (10 years, 5 months ago)

Quote:

zappaisgod said:
Stick it out.  You deserve each other.




:lol:  :werd:

:douchewink:


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InvisibleVivaLaMushie
RIP LS :(
Female User Gallery


Registered: 07/23/12
Posts: 15,711
Loc: Switzerland Flag
Re: What would you do? [Re: Masked]
    #18776155 - 08/30/13 05:27 AM (10 years, 5 months ago)

You got a kid and another one on the way, it'd be in your best interest to make it work.

Talk to one another.

Good luck op!


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Invisiblekoraks
Registered: 06/02/03
Posts: 26,691
Re: What would you do? [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #18776197 - 08/30/13 06:10 AM (10 years, 5 months ago)

Quote:

Anonymous said:
It's just hard bro, I have real bad depression and anxiety and it seems like she brings it out on purpose to add to her story of how awful she has it or some shit.



With that mindset, you're probably going to be hacking at this until hell freezes over and you still wouldn't have made any progress. As long as you don't acknowledge that you are part of the problem, you're not going to solve it.

I agree with VLM: talk to each other. And not only that, but actually listen and try to understand each other. See things from the other person's perspective. Sounds to me like you haven't successfully managed that yet.


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InvisibleThayendanegea
quiet walker
Male User Gallery


Registered: 02/20/12
Posts: 7,596
Loc: 7 Lodges Nation Flag
Re: What would you do? [Re: VivaLaMushie]
    #18777073 - 08/30/13 11:59 AM (10 years, 5 months ago)

Quote:

VivaLaMushie said:
You got a kid and another one on the way, it'd be in your best interest to make it work.

Talk to one another.

Good luck op!



Yes, It's a little late for birth control now.Actually not....NO MORE KIDS! Also....think about some anger management classes. Punching walls or doors is not healthy or normal.


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Look Deep Into Nature,and Then You Will Understand Everything Better.

Albert Einstein


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InvisibleMystiqueMushroom


Registered: 11/01/11
Posts: 4,737
Loc: PNW
Re: What would you do? [Re: Thayendanegea]
    #18777790 - 08/30/13 02:56 PM (10 years, 5 months ago)

Have you thought of tripping with her? Perhaps some good ole dmt or mushrooms could help.


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https://youtu.be/np5Oi1dyO1k


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Offlinejuggaloblink420
Stranger

Registered: 04/07/12
Posts: 204
Loc: Indiana
Last seen: 24 days, 20 hours
Re: What would you do? [Re: MystiqueMushroom]
    #18778004 - 08/30/13 03:42 PM (10 years, 5 months ago)

VivaLaMushie - Thanks!
 
Koraks  - I understand we both can be toxic together but can't every couple? We have our ups and downs but always just let the steam blow off and resolve our issues. Communication is probably our biggest issue, I need to talk things over to get my mind at peace with everything that has happend but with her, she is so closed off because of ex's that shes afraid to talk about her issues with me and that is our problem in a sense.

Baltimark - Yeah, I know my anger can be an issue at times  but for the most part I am pretty chill, I only do stuff like that when a panic attack insues, I've been trying to go to a doctor about it but everyone wants to give me sedatives over it and I am a firm believer in natural. Call me weird I guess haha

MystiqueMushroom - Due to my anxiety issues my body can't handle trips/weed, it actually causes me to freak out worse its really nuts man, I started getting into drinking alcohol again but every time I got a buzz I would feel the same sense of anxiousness come onto me with the same level as if I had a bad trip on 3.5g of mush. I fucking hate it.


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Offlinejuggaloblink420
Stranger

Registered: 04/07/12
Posts: 204
Loc: Indiana
Last seen: 24 days, 20 hours
Re: What would you do? [Re: juggaloblink420]
    #18778036 - 08/30/13 03:50 PM (10 years, 5 months ago)

BUAHA anon fail- so much for that.


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InvisibleVivaLaMushie
RIP LS :(
Female User Gallery


Registered: 07/23/12
Posts: 15,711
Loc: Switzerland Flag
Re: What would you do? [Re: juggaloblink420]
    #18778097 - 08/30/13 04:03 PM (10 years, 5 months ago)

Quote:

juggaloblink420 said:
BUAHA anon fail- so much for that.





I lol 'd


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Offlinezappaisgod
horrid asshole


Registered: 02/11/04
Posts: 81,741
Loc: Fractallife's gym
Last seen: 7 years, 8 months
Re: What would you do? [Re: juggaloblink420]
    #18778210 - 08/30/13 04:29 PM (10 years, 5 months ago)

Quote:

juggaloblink420 said:
VivaLaMushie - Thanks!
 
Koraks  - I understand we both can be toxic together but can't every couple? We have our ups and downs but always just let the steam blow off and resolve our issues. Communication is probably our biggest issue, I need to talk things over to get my mind at peace with everything that has happend but with her, she is so closed off because of ex's that shes afraid to talk about her issues with me and that is our problem in a sense.

Baltimark - Yeah, I know my anger can be an issue at times  but for the most part I am pretty chill, I only do stuff like that when a panic attack insues, I've been trying to go to a doctor about it but everyone wants to give me sedatives over it and I am a firm believer in natural. Call me weird I guess haha

MystiqueMushroom - Due to my anxiety issues my body can't handle trips/weed, it actually causes me to freak out worse its really nuts man, I started getting into drinking alcohol again but every time I got a buzz I would feel the same sense of anxiousness come onto me with the same level as if I had a bad trip on 3.5g of mush. I fucking hate it.





Clearly you need to abstain from everything.  Do it.


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Invisiblekoraks
Registered: 06/02/03
Posts: 26,691
Re: What would you do? [Re: juggaloblink420]
    #18780028 - 08/31/13 01:28 AM (10 years, 5 months ago)

Quote:

juggaloblink420 said:
Koraks  - I understand we both can be toxic together but can't every couple? We have our ups and downs but always just let the steam blow off and resolve our issues. Communication is probably our biggest issue, I need to talk things over to get my mind at peace with everything that has happend but with her, she is so closed off because of ex's that shes afraid to talk about her issues with me and that is our problem in a sense.




Well, not every couple gets 'toxic', but that doesn't help you much. Many couples do and you're obviously part of one now, so you'll have to deal with it and find a way to 'detox' things once in a while (or even permanently, but that would be a bit much to ask).

If she doesn't like to talk, then that sure is a problem. That's one thing that will need to change. She'll have to accept that sometimes, it is alright to be vulnerable and to show your true colors. Building walls around your emotions generally only works for a while. Is there nobody she really talks to? Not even a close friend?

On the other end of the bargain, you will have to create the atmosphere in which she can talk. You will sometimes have to be very patient and don't judge too quickly or actually respond; just practice letting her talk and really listening to her and trying to understand how she feels. This can be really, really difficult, so it might not be easy.

Btw, your anxiety issues suggest to me that you may have difficulty opening up too. Are you capable of sharing your deepest fears, hopes and dreams with your girl? In a non-aggressive, constructive way?


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