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Offlinekobols_harp
Stranger
Registered: 08/29/13
Posts: 1
Last seen: 10 years, 3 months
First trip: Total confusion
    #18775623 - 08/29/13 11:27 PM (10 years, 4 months ago)

Hey everyone:) I'm new to this site and thought I'd share my experience with shrooms. It was an extremely confusing and troubling trip and I'm trying to understand it two weeks later still...

So here's the set-up:

We boiled 12 grams of shrooms for a pitcher of chai tea shared between five people. We finished the pitcher and started watching a tv show. About 30 minutes later, I start to feel it pretty hard. We were watching a national geographic documentary about volcanoes, and the entire tv starts to melt, along with the entertainment center. I thought this was pretty awesome. I started seeing a lot of these kinds of visuals, though no outright hallucinations.

Then the bad trip starts. It started when I looked at one of my friends and saw nothing. It was like he didn't exist. I recognized his face, personality, voice, etc., but he seemed fake to me. This same reaction occurred whenever I talked to any of my friends.

Then I decided that the setting was disturbing me, so I decided to take a walk. I took one step outside and that's when the negativity hit me hard. I felt like everything was meaningless. My life, my friends' lives, the lives of every single human being. There seemed to be no point to our growth, our accomplishments, our very existence. I'm an extremely empathetic person, so these feelings confused me. Then the feeling began to magnify to a cosmic level, where the universe itself felt meaningless. I looked at the moon, which was bright and "breathing" and felt nothing. That shocked me, because I KNEW it was beautiful. I listened to music that normally inspires me, and felt nothing. I read texts from my girlfriend I love deeply, and felt nothing.

For the entire peak, I felt this void. It wasn't that I hated or loved life; I was completely indifferent to it. Beauty was a pointless concept to me; I couldn't appreciate anything that I valued, from music to relationships.

On the comedown, all of these feelings disappeared quickly, and I had an absolute blast. We played video games and joked the entire time, still tripping. But that peak time has haunted me. I still wake up and think, "Why am I going to work? Why is everyone else going to work? Why does any of this matter?"

It's an extremely confusing emotional state. I've never experienced an existential crisis like this and don't really know what to do with it.


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OfflineTaybs
graffiti saved my life
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Registered: 09/07/12
Posts: 538
Loc: USA Flag
Last seen: 7 years, 6 months
Re: First trip: Total confusion [Re: kobols_harp]
    #18775718 - 08/30/13 12:18 AM (10 years, 4 months ago)

i get like that when tripping all the same man... on the comedown i never felt so happy before though

i realized that happiness is what makes everything worth living and experiencing


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InvisibleImpulze
Another you

Registered: 10/14/12
Posts: 132
Re: First trip: Total confusion [Re: Taybs]
    #18778069 - 08/30/13 03:56 PM (10 years, 4 months ago)

I've been there, i've got out of it as i realized that meaning is subjectively and that stuff only make sense and has a meaning if someone gives meaning to it.
So if you are the one who gives meaning to life, what meaning would you like it to have?


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