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Invisiblemr sniffles
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Re: i just got a nosebleed from sitting beside a cute girl in class today [Re: JoieDeVivre]
    #18774116 - 08/29/13 05:06 PM (10 years, 4 months ago)

Quote:

JoieDeVivre said:
Quote:

k3nnyw said:
we were comfortable around each other some points in time. i did not imply anything to infer that she is into me. we were just sending comfortable vibes around and i got a nosebleed.



You're not getting my point. You didn't talk to her, you have no idea that she was "sending" you anything. You came up with that in your own mind. You might be right but chances are you're not. You don't know anyone else's inner thoughts and motivations just because you desire or think you perceive something to that effect. :shrug:



i did not come up with it in my own mind. i felt it with my intuition and feelings, as well has being slightly confirmed by the subtleties of the exchange of body language that i have felt and experienced with myself my whole life.


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Invisiblepsi
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Re: i just got a nosebleed from sitting beside a cute girl in class today [Re: JoieDeVivre]
    #18774120 - 08/29/13 05:08 PM (10 years, 4 months ago)

Quote:

JoieDeVivre said:
You don't know anyone else's inner thoughts and motivations just because you desire or think you perceive something to that effect. :shrug:




It goes both ways though, some of your posts in this thread could be seen as jumping to conclusions about people's motivations as well. Ultimately I guess it's tricky to know what people are thinking without asking them. Even then, you're getting a filtered version.


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Invisiblemr sniffles
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Re: i just got a nosebleed from sitting beside a cute girl in class today [Re: psi]
    #18774181 - 08/29/13 05:22 PM (10 years, 4 months ago)

my largely assumed assumptions about ms mind reader:

you are largely an extrovert in your interactions as you send more interaction than you read signals from guys to let them know that you are not interested before its too late

your myer briggs profile: ENTJ or INTJ or something similar

lol this is for fun though please prove me wrong

EDIT: sorry for the asshole post but please tell me if i got it right just for the sake of making assumptions :heart:


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Edited by mr sniffles (08/29/13 05:33 PM)


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Offlinedruqs
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Re: i just got a nosebleed from sitting beside a cute girl in class today [Re: mr sniffles]
    #18774214 - 08/29/13 05:28 PM (10 years, 4 months ago)

i get nosebleeds around entities.


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InvisibleTheMule73
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Re: i just got a nosebleed from sitting beside a cute girl in class today [Re: JoieDeVivre] * 2
    #18774245 - 08/29/13 05:33 PM (10 years, 4 months ago)

Quote:

JoieDeVivre said:

3. He doesn't know her, and as such he has no idea what her body language is like when she's into someone, everyone is different when it comes to that. She might just have a naturally friendly and open disposition that could be easily be mistaken as vibing





You're basically saying here that one needs to know a person before they can 'read' their body language.

In some cases one may need to know someone well/fairly well to be able to precisely read their body language, but to state that without knowing another person, then they 'have no idea' what their body-language is saying, is ridiculous.

Yes, not knowing someone could lead to mistaking that person's body language, but it certainly isn't a guarantee that the reading of the body-language of a person who you are not familiar with will be wrong.

Quote:

JoieDeVivre said:
Quote:

k3nnyw said:
we were comfortable around each other some points in time. i did not imply anything to infer that she is into me. we were just sending comfortable vibes around and i got a nosebleed.



You're not getting my point. You didn't talk to her, you have no idea that she was "sending" you anything. You came up with that in your own mind.




Sure, he could have been wrong, but you're making it seem as if body-language needs verbal language to be communicative.

And when I say 'wrong' I mean he could have indeed "came up with/fabricated" the notion that a feeling was mutually resonating between both he and her when in reality, it was not.

But if he was correct, then it would mean he "recognized" that there was a mutual feeling between the two without verbal language.

You're making it seem like the communication that takes place when body language is read is without a person 'coming up with' a notion of there existing a feeling between (s)he and the other person.
That's exactly what happens. The only difference in reading it correctly or incorrectly is whether the feeling can be 'recognized' as having been conjured up in correspondence with reality. That's the tough part, and recognizing correctly comes from both experience dealing with people from the society you are in or knowing the person in question directly. But the latter is not always necessary, as you claim it to be.

And here is where OP could have created/come up with a false connection in his head (meaning: here, is where something like the following could have happened to OP: The feeling that he thinks is taking place--the feeling that he created--is falsely being attributed a status of being in correspondence with reality.)

There's really two layers of 'coming up with/creating' ideas/feelings that are taking place here (as with any language-verbal or not).

1) We create/come up with situations through language (verbal or body-wise)
2) The possibility exists of us falsely coming up with 'deeper' meanings within the situation that in fact are not in agreement with reality.

You are leaning towards number 2 being the case (which may indeed be what happened), but you are using an argument pre-supposing that #1 doesn't take place. When it does.


Edited by TheMule73 (08/29/13 10:00 PM)


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InvisibleJoieDeVivre
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Re: i just got a nosebleed from sitting beside a cute girl in class today [Re: psi]
    #18774261 - 08/29/13 05:36 PM (10 years, 4 months ago)

Quote:

k3nnyw said:
my largely assumed assumptions about ms mind reader:

you are largely an extrovert in your interactions as you send more interaction than you read signals from guys to let them know that you are not interested before its too late

your myer briggs profile: ENTJ or INTJ or something similar

lol this is for fun though please prove me wrong



No[e, I'm evenly split between an INFP and INTP. :thumbdown: I'm an introvert and I've been in a steady relationship for four years. I've experienced many instances where another male who I'm just having a normal conversation with begins to think I'm "vibing" or interested in him as well.

Quote:

i did not come up with it in my own mind. i felt it with my intuition and feelings, as well has being slightly confirmed by the subtleties of the exchange of body language that i have felt and experienced with myself my whole life.



You did come up with it in your own mind. You have no idea what she was thinking. There's no such thing as an intuitive sense that tells you what other people are thinking/feeling. Body language is so different from person to person that it's not a reliable way to determine interest, especially during such limited interaction.

I'm curious to know what she did that made you think she was vibing with you. Describe everything that made you think that, then maybe I'll get a better idea of why you came to such a conclusion. I'm genuinely interested.


Quote:

psi said:
It goes both ways though, some of your posts in this thread could be seen as jumping to conclusions about people's motivations as well. Ultimately I guess it's tricky to know what people are thinking without asking them. Even then, you're getting a filtered version.



But I didn't assume anything. OP said he thought the girl was cute. The only thing I assumed, which was implied, is that they didn't speak at all.

She very well may have been vibing with him. I'm saying it's unlikely, that's all.


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UBUNTU- I am because we are.




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InvisibleTheMule73
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Re: i just got a nosebleed from sitting beside a cute girl in class today [Re: JoieDeVivre]
    #18774269 - 08/29/13 05:38 PM (10 years, 4 months ago)

Quote:

JoieDeVivre said:
Quote:

k3nnyw said:
my largely assumed assumptions about ms mind reader:

you are largely an extrovert in your interactions as you send more interaction than you read signals from guys to let them know that you are not interested before its too late

your myer briggs profile: ENTJ or INTJ or something similar

lol this is for fun though please prove me wrong



No[e, I'm evenly split between an INFP and INTP. :thumbdown: I'm an introvert and I've been in a steady relationship for four years. I've experienced many instances where another male who I'm just having a normal conversation with begins to think I'm "vibing" or interested in him as well.






And this is probably why you are assuming OP did the same thing here. Because it has happened to you numerous times.

edit:
Also, How do you know the male 'began to think you were interested in him'?
Did he explicitly state that/explicity hit on you?

Or did you just read his body language incorrectly?


Edited by TheMule73 (08/29/13 05:39 PM)


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InvisibleJoieDeVivre
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Re: i just got a nosebleed from sitting beside a cute girl in class today [Re: TheMule73]
    #18774281 - 08/29/13 05:40 PM (10 years, 4 months ago)

No, I'm assuming OP did that because he flat out said they never talked but he assumed she was vibing with him.


--------------------
Sapere aude

"We cannot live for ourselves alone. Our lives are connected by a thousand invisible threads, and along these sympathetic fibers, our actions run as causes and return to us as results."


UBUNTU- I am because we are.




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InvisibleTheMule73
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Re: i just got a nosebleed from sitting beside a cute girl in class today [Re: JoieDeVivre]
    #18774287 - 08/29/13 05:41 PM (10 years, 4 months ago)

Quote:

JoieDeVivre said:


I'm curious to know what she did that made you think she was vibing with you. Describe everything that made you think that, then maybe I'll get a better idea of why you came to such a conclusion. I'm genuinely interested.






Please do the same with the instances that you have said have taken place where a male 'thought' you were into him.


Quote:

JoieDeVivre said:
No, I'm assuming OP did that because he flat out said they never talked but he assumed she was vibing with him.




Yes, thats how body-language works!


Edited by TheMule73 (08/29/13 05:42 PM)


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InvisibleJoieDeVivre
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Re: i just got a nosebleed from sitting beside a cute girl in class today [Re: TheMule73]
    #18774290 - 08/29/13 05:42 PM (10 years, 4 months ago)

One in particular: the guy grabbed my hand and went to kiss it twice, asked me if I had a boyfriend, interrogated me about my boyfriend's religion and was coming onto me again when thankfully someone else interrupted him and relieved me of that situation.


--------------------
Sapere aude

"We cannot live for ourselves alone. Our lives are connected by a thousand invisible threads, and along these sympathetic fibers, our actions run as causes and return to us as results."


UBUNTU- I am because we are.




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InvisibleSheekle
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Re: i just got a nosebleed from sitting beside a cute girl in class today [Re: JoieDeVivre]
    #18774309 - 08/29/13 05:47 PM (10 years, 4 months ago)

Quote:

JoieDeVivre said:
One in particular: the guy grabbed my hand and went to kiss it twice, asked me if I had a boyfriend, interrogated me about my boyfriend's religion and was coming onto me again when thankfully someone else interrupted him and relieved me of that situation.



hahahahaha what the fuck


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InvisibleTheMule73
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Re: i just got a nosebleed from sitting beside a cute girl in class today [Re: Sheekle]
    #18774321 - 08/29/13 05:49 PM (10 years, 4 months ago)

Hmm that does sound pretty bad.
Not enough to generalize all guys as doing the same thing internally and not explicitly (as you claim OP has done) whenever they pick up vibes between them and a woman, though


Edited by TheMule73 (08/29/13 05:49 PM)


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InvisibleJoieDeVivre
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Re: i just got a nosebleed from sitting beside a cute girl in class today [Re: TheMule73]
    #18774328 - 08/29/13 05:50 PM (10 years, 4 months ago)

I know!  We were alone in my store too. It was probably the worst situation I've been in with another person in years.:uhoh: I wanted to give the guy who came in and interrupted a bunch of free stuff or something because I was so grateful. :lol:

Quote:

TheMule73 said:
Hmm that does sound pretty bad.
Not enough to generalize all guys as doing the same thing internally and not explicitly (as you claim OP has done) though.



I wasn't generalizing all guys as doing the same thing. Where I work the customers are 90-95% male and the majority of them are nice and not creepy weirdos at all. Literally all I'm saying is that the OP is assuming way too much about something he can never really know -  what someone else is thinking/feeling. :shrug:


--------------------
Sapere aude

"We cannot live for ourselves alone. Our lives are connected by a thousand invisible threads, and along these sympathetic fibers, our actions run as causes and return to us as results."


UBUNTU- I am because we are.




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Offlinebrokentv
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Re: i just got a nosebleed from sitting beside a cute girl in class today [Re: Sheekle]
    #18774334 - 08/29/13 05:51 PM (10 years, 4 months ago)

:strokebeard:


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InvisibleTheMule73
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Re: i just got a nosebleed from sitting beside a cute girl in class today [Re: JoieDeVivre]
    #18774342 - 08/29/13 05:54 PM (10 years, 4 months ago)

Quote:

JoieDeVivre said:

I wasn't generalizing all guys as doing the same thing. Where I work the customers are 90-95% male and the majority of them are nice and not creepy weirdos at all. Literally all I'm saying is that the OP is assuming way too much about something he can never really know -  what someone else is thinking/feeling. :shrug:




Ah, okay, well then there is our difference.
Just as through verbal language we know what someone is thinking (for they verbally state it), so too IMO can we do the same thing with body-language. It's just harder and prone to be incorrectly analyzed more then verbal language.


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InvisibleJoieDeVivre
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Re: i just got a nosebleed from sitting beside a cute girl in class today [Re: TheMule73]
    #18774358 - 08/29/13 05:57 PM (10 years, 4 months ago)

But you don't really know what someone is thinking through body language. You only know your interpretation of what they might be thinking. Everyone has their own unique habits when it comes to body language. For example, I am often overly friendly, laugh a lot, always have an open and interested body stance and I am a very attentive and empathetic listener. I also touch my hair and face a lot if I get nervous (which I usually do). Unfortunately, all those things combined make other people take me wrong at times. The fact that OP didn't even talk to the girl makes it even more likely that his interpretation of her literally just sitting there in class was wrong. :shrug:

And I'm not trying to be a bitch or anything, so I hope I'm not coming off that way I'm just sharing my opinion and all.


--------------------
Sapere aude

"We cannot live for ourselves alone. Our lives are connected by a thousand invisible threads, and along these sympathetic fibers, our actions run as causes and return to us as results."


UBUNTU- I am because we are.




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Invisiblemr sniffles
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Re: i just got a nosebleed from sitting beside a cute girl in class today [Re: JoieDeVivre]
    #18774365 - 08/29/13 06:00 PM (10 years, 4 months ago)

hey i was close INTJ is basically the same as INTP the last letter is the letter that matters the least lol. it just means you are an introvert who does not consciously process the body language of other people versus an extrovert who are more typical to send their own vibes out before processing others peoples emotions (extroverts also have the same capability to read body language if they try, but in my opinion i feel introverts are able to read better)

if you have read body language (i assume you dont practice this)

here are a couple things that will point towards mutual connection between people. i have met people from different cultures and there are bound to be similarities in between body language and the likes (to be concrete) almost all of this is processed unconsciously without thinking but you needed an example so please do not take that i use my thoughts to process this:

1. unconscious copying of body language (implies being comfortable around the person you are copying)
2. synchronization of movement (implies attention is being held towards the the person you are synchronizing with)
3. joint attention (meaning you are comfortable sharing a moment with some body)
4. she gave me a little look in the beginning of class but turned away when i looked at her (not the basis of my argument but she had put out that i had grabbed her attention just for your sake)

all these led me to believe that a couple moments were being shared and when awkwardness or discontinuity did occur a lot of it was done together but she always went back to being comfortable with the surroundings and synchronizing movements. synchronicity and comfortableness is the key.

there is a difference between reading body language and feeling body language though. there comes a point where if you're attentive enough you just feel their body language as you reflect on how fast they are doing it because obviously their feelings are going to be expressed through it.

maybe we do not share the same definition of "vibing." for me it just means sending body language towards another.

your situation sounds pretty bad though. he must have been terrible at reading body language.

EDIT: thinking about what thoughts bring up body language and feeling body language is not the same thing.

EDIT 2: im sorry if i come off as aggressive


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Edited by mr sniffles (08/29/13 06:05 PM)


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InvisibleJoieDeVivre
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Re: i just got a nosebleed from sitting beside a cute girl in class today [Re: mr sniffles]
    #18774373 - 08/29/13 06:04 PM (10 years, 4 months ago)

Quote:

1. unconscious copying of body language (implies being comfortable around the person you are copying)
2. synchronization of movement (implies attention is being held towards the the person you are synchronizing with)
3. joint attention (meaning you are comfortable sharing a moment with some body)
4. she gave me a little look in the beginning of class but turned away when i looked at her (not the basis of my argument but she had put out that i had grabbed her attention just for your sake)



These are literally all coincidences that happen to me with other people hundreds of times per day (I go to a huge UNI so I really do see that many people each day) and I am interested in absolutely none of them, nor do those moments mean anything at all to me. Even when all four of those things happen to me and someone else in a class (which is very common) it doesn't mean anything to me nor does it mean I'm thinking about them at all.


--------------------
Sapere aude

"We cannot live for ourselves alone. Our lives are connected by a thousand invisible threads, and along these sympathetic fibers, our actions run as causes and return to us as results."


UBUNTU- I am because we are.




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Offlinebrokentv
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Re: i just got a nosebleed from sitting beside a cute girl in class today [Re: mr sniffles]
    #18774377 - 08/29/13 06:04 PM (10 years, 4 months ago)

All I have to say, is say hello to her next time. Don't let this stuff get to your head.


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Invisiblemr sniffles
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Re: i just got a nosebleed from sitting beside a cute girl in class today [Re: JoieDeVivre]
    #18774395 - 08/29/13 06:10 PM (10 years, 4 months ago)

Quote:

JoieDeVivre said:
Quote:

1. unconscious copying of body language (implies being comfortable around the person you are copying)
2. synchronization of movement (implies attention is being held towards the the person you are synchronizing with)
3. joint attention (meaning you are comfortable sharing a moment with some body)
4. she gave me a little look in the beginning of class but turned away when i looked at her (not the basis of my argument but she had put out that i had grabbed her attention just for your sake)



These are literally all coincidences that happen to me with other people hundreds of times per day (I go to a huge UNI so I really do see that many people each day) and I am interested in absolutely none of them, nor do those moments mean anything at all to me. Even when all four of those things happen to me and someone else in a class (which is very common) it doesn't mean anything to me nor does it mean I'm thinking about them at all.




1. you are assuming that i think that the girl wants my dick
2. you are assuming that i want to fuck her more than i do
3. you are assuming that synchronicity does not happen better towards some people and worse towards some people, or if people are more open to the frequency of it as a sign of being more comfortable with someone else.
4. you are assuming i am not in the same boat as you in a large college and have to notice this shit all the time


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Edited by mr sniffles (08/29/13 06:11 PM)


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