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lolwut
bad motherfucker


Registered: 08/14/10
Posts: 2,782
Loc: back in black
Last seen: 2 years, 8 months
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"100 Wisest Words"
#18771780 - 08/29/13 04:00 AM (10 years, 5 months ago) |
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Apparently in a moralistic society at war being one of the crowd, gearing your life towards procreation, causing as few waves as possible and conforming to every whim of MTV and mainstream media is valued very highly. Here's 100 instructions on how to fit in (some of them I reckon are OK though).
Quote:
1. There are plenty of ways to enter a pool. The stairs is not one of them. 2. Never cancel dinner plans by text message. 3. Don’t knock it ‘til you try it. 4. If a street performer makes you stop walking, you owe him a buck. 5. Always use ‘we’ when referring to your home team or your government. 6. When entrusted with a secret, keep it. 7. Don’t underestimate free throws in a game of ‘horse’. 8. Just because you can doesn’t mean you should. 9. Don’t dumb it down. 10. You only get one chance to notice a new haircut. 11. If you’re staying more than one night, unpack. 12. Never park in front of a bar. 13. Expect the seat in front of you to recline. Prepare accordingly. 14. Keep a picture of your first fish, first car, and first boy/girlfriend. 15. Hold your heroes to a high standard. 16. A suntan is earned, not bought. 17. Never lie to your doctor. 18. All guns are loaded. 19. Don’t mention sunburns. Believe me, they know. 20. The best way to show thanks is to wear it. Even if it’s only once. 21. Take a vacation of your cell phone, internet, and TV once a year. 22. Don’t fill up on bread, no matter how good. 23. A handshake beats an autograph. 24. Don’t linger in the doorway. In or out. 25. If you choose to go in drag, don’t sell yourself short. 26. If you want to know what makes you unique, sit for a caricature. 27. Never get your hair cut the day of a special event. 28. Be mindful of what comes between you and the Earth. Always buy good shoes, tires, and sheets. 29. Never eat lunch at your desk if you can avoid it. 30. When you’re with new friends, don’t just talk about old friends. 31. Eat lunch with the new kids. 32. When traveling, keep your wits about you. 33. It’s never too late for an apology. 34. Don’t pose with booze. 35. If you have the right of way, take it. 36. You don’t get to choose your own nickname. 37. When you marry someone, remember you marry their entire family. 38. Never push someone off a dock. 39. Under no circumstances should you ask a woman if she’s pregnant. 40. It’s not enough to be proud of your ancestry; live up to it. 41. Don’t make a scene. 42. When giving a thank you speech, short and sweet is best. 43. Know when to ignore the camera. 44. Never gloat. 45. Invest in good luggage. 46. Make time for your mom on your birthday. It’s her special day, too. 47. When opening presents, no one likes a good guesser. 48. Sympathy is a crutch, never fake a limp. 49. Give credit. Take blame. 50. Suck it up every now and again. 51. Never be the last one in the pool. 52. Don’t stare. 53. Address everyone that carries a firearm professionally. 54. Stand up to bullies. You’ll only have to do it once. 55. If you’ve made your point, stop talking. 56. Admit it when you’re wrong. 57. If you offer to help don’t quit until the job is done. 58. Look people in the eye when you thank them. 59. Thank the bus driver. 60. Never answer the phone at the dinner table. 61. Forgive yourself for your mistakes. 62. Know at least one good joke. 63. Don’t boo. Even the ref is somebody’s son. 64. Know how to cook one good meal. 65. Learn to drive a stick shift. 66. Be cool to younger kids. Reputations are built over a lifetime. 67. It’s okay to go to the movies by yourself. 68. Dance with your mother/father. 69. Don’t lose your cool. Especially at work. 70. Always thank the host. 71. If you don’t understand, ask before it’s too late. 72. Know the size of your boy/girlfriend’s clothes. 73. There is nothing wrong with a plain t-shirt. 74. Be a good listener. Don’t just wait for your turn to talk. 75. Keep your word. 76. In college, always sit in the front. You’ll stand out immediately. 77. Carry your mother’s bags. She carried you for nine months. 78. Be patient with airport security. They’re just doing their jobs. 79. Don’t be the talker in a movie. 80. The opposite sex likes people who shower. 81. You are what you do, not what you say. 82. Learn to change a tire. 83. Be kind. Everyone has a hard fight ahead of them. 84. An hour with grandparents is time well spent. Ask for advice when you need it. 85. Don’t litter. 86. If you have a sister, get to know her boyfriend. Your opinion is important. 87. You won’t always be the strongest or the fastest. But you can be the toughest. 88. Never call someone before 9am or after 9pm. 89. Buy the orange properties in Monopoly. 90. Make the little things count. 91. Always wear a bra at work. 92. There is a fine line between looking sultry and slutty. Find it. 93. You’re never too old to need your mom. 94. Ladies, if you make the decision to wear heels on the first date, commit to keeping them on and keeping your trap shut about how much your feet kill. 95. Know the words to your national anthem. 96. Your dance moves might not be the best, but I promise making a fool of yourself is more fun then sitting on the bench alone. 97. Smile at strangers. 98. Make goals. 99. Being old is not dictated by your bedtime. 100. If you have to fight, punch first and punch hard.
-------------------- Please allow me to introduce myself, I'm a man of wealth, and taste...
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liquidlounge

Registered: 12/22/10
Posts: 9,256
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Re: "100 Wisest Words" [Re: lolwut]
#18771794 - 08/29/13 04:11 AM (10 years, 5 months ago) |
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101. Awaiting funnies.
-------------------- As far as I assume to know...
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lolwut
bad motherfucker


Registered: 08/14/10
Posts: 2,782
Loc: back in black
Last seen: 2 years, 8 months
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It's in the thread title
-------------------- Please allow me to introduce myself, I'm a man of wealth, and taste...
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hTx
(:



Registered: 03/27/13
Posts: 5,724
Loc: Space-time
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Re: "100 Wisest Words" [Re: lolwut]
#18771827 - 08/29/13 04:28 AM (10 years, 5 months ago) |
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69
!
-------------------- zen by age ten times six hundred lifetimes Light up the darkness.
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liquidlounge

Registered: 12/22/10
Posts: 9,256
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Re: "100 Wisest Words" [Re: hTx]
#18771838 - 08/29/13 04:37 AM (10 years, 5 months ago) |
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102. Wait is over.
-------------------- As far as I assume to know...
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quinn
some kinda love


Registered: 01/02/10
Posts: 6,799
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Re: "100 Wisest Words" [Re: lolwut]
#18771913 - 08/29/13 05:45 AM (10 years, 5 months ago) |
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"confusion.. will be my epitaph"
-------------------- dripping with fantasy
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Repertoire89
Cat



Registered: 11/15/12
Posts: 21,773
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Re: "100 Wisest Words" [Re: quinn]
#18772265 - 08/29/13 09:47 AM (10 years, 5 months ago) |
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103. TL wont R
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OrgoneConclusion
Blue Fish Group



Registered: 04/01/07
Posts: 45,432
Loc: Under the C
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Re: "100 Wisest Words" [Re: lolwut]
#18772609 - 08/29/13 11:13 AM (10 years, 5 months ago) |
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Since when is a word a whole saying?
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Raven Gnosis
𝔰𝔢𝔯𝔭𝔢𝔫𝔱𝔦𝔠𝔦𝔡𝔞


Registered: 02/10/11
Posts: 1,311
Loc: Necoc Yaotl
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Re: "100 Wisest Words" [Re: lolwut]
#18773082 - 08/29/13 01:20 PM (10 years, 5 months ago) |
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When you follow the 'wisdom' of rule 100, you are considered the 'primary aggressor' and will be the one who ends up with the assault charges.
I'd say it's wiser to learn how to take a punch, or deflect one and let the fight move from there. (at least in a public setting.)
-------------------- To be human is to be fettered, to endure what one is, in perpetuum, no matter what the debility or perversity.
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Icelander
The Minstrel in the Gallery



Registered: 03/15/05
Posts: 95,368
Loc: underbelly
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Or take a bullet.
-------------------- "Don't believe everything you think". -Anom. " All that lives was born to die"-Anom. With much wisdom comes much sorrow, The more knowledge, the more grief. Ecclesiastes circa 350 BC
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Raven Gnosis
𝔰𝔢𝔯𝔭𝔢𝔫𝔱𝔦𝔠𝔦𝔡𝔞


Registered: 02/10/11
Posts: 1,311
Loc: Necoc Yaotl
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Re: "100 Wisest Words" [Re: Icelander]
#18773372 - 08/29/13 02:25 PM (10 years, 5 months ago) |
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Or deflect one?
-------------------- To be human is to be fettered, to endure what one is, in perpetuum, no matter what the debility or perversity.
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