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Anonymous #1
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Forced defecation
#18764432 - 08/27/13 03:17 PM (10 years, 5 months ago) |
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I can't fucking believe I'm actually making a thread about this, but... how do you, to avoid facing the workplace toilets? Consistently, I can't go in the morning and as soon as I get into work I feel like shit (no pun intended)
So, uh... yeah, what should I do?
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Anonymous #2
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Fiber before you go to bed or as soon as you wake up
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Anonymous #3
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Anonymous #4
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make it a habit of waking yourself up 2 hours before work and take a shit before work.
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Anonymous #5
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wake up early n drink coffee
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Anonymous #6
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I hate poopin at work. Luckily I work very short shifts and live 3 minutes from work.
Idk man. Wakin up early and drinkin coffee is a good one.
Maybe change what you eat and what times.
Or maybe just learn to shit at work and not give a fuck
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Anonymous #1
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Quote:
Anonymous #4 said: make it a habit of waking yourself up 2 hours before work and take a shit before work.
Quote:
Anonymous #5 said: wake up early n drink coffee
Quote:
Anonymous #2 said: Fiber before you go to bed or as soon as you wake up 
Problem is, I gotta be at work by 7AM. Early shit, it's like high school all over again. I like staying up and fucking around online so I usually go to sleep at like 9:30-11, get up at 6 and lay in bed for 20 minutes, take 20 minutes to shower, 10 minutes just to get dressed, I'm always rushing in work unprepared and sometimes forgetting shit like paperwork... don't have enough time to get up 2 hours before y'know?
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Anonymous #7
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Quote:
Anonymous #3 said:

I think this would be the most interesting option, for conversation and people's sense of smell..
But seriously the fibre before bed recommendation
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Anonymous #1
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Quote:
Anonymous #7 said:
Quote:
Anonymous #3 said:

I think this would be the most interesting option, for conversation and people's sense of smell..
But seriously the fibre before bed recommendation
Yeah but what if I can't, I go to work, and am incredibly constipated the entire day because of the fiber?
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Anonymous #7
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Fibre makes you poop? Hell then take some laxatives ha ha
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Anonymous #8
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Cheap cans of ice beer and tacos at night. Coffee in the morning We'll have ya pissin out the ass in no time. You won't have to ask "do I feel like uing the at work bathroom?"
More like jumping backwards emergency style while power blasting just prior to actually landing...
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Anonymous #9
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Personally, i dont like to shit place my ass aint' familiar with.
But sometimes, ya gotta do what ya gotta do.
I recommend keeping some comforts from home at the workplace. I bring a Rolling Stone magazine and Charmin triple ply toilet paper.
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Anonymous #3
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\
great ideas, and this probably wouldn't hurt as well. maybe play some music so you aren't paranoid people will hear the plop plop.
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Anonymous #6
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Quote:
Anonymous #3 said:
maybe play some music so you aren't paranoid people will hear the plop plop.
The plop plop
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Anonymous #8
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How bout the plug? One solid turd, followed by pure liquid
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Anonymous #10
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man i love poopin at work. getting paid to shit almost feels as good as getting paid while you sleep.
you should learn to appreciate your workplace toilets. then your problem is solved.
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Anonymous #11
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Quote:
Anonymous #10 said: man i love poopin at work. getting paid to shit almost feels as good as getting paid while you sleep.
you should learn to appreciate your workplace toilets. then your problem is solved.

I know someone that holds in their poop until they get into work, and then at this large bathroom at a fortune 200 company that is usually filled with suits, he sits on the toilet and blasts a massive beer shit into the toilet, within seconds the bathroom empties as the people are scared by his massive shit and smell.
My friend is so proud of his accomplishment, I suggest that #1 give it a try.
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Anonymous #7
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Quote:
Anonymous #11 said:
Quote:
Anonymous #10 said: man i love poopin at work. getting paid to shit almost feels as good as getting paid while you sleep.
you should learn to appreciate your workplace toilets. then your problem is solved.

I know someone that holds in their poop until they get into work, and then at this large bathroom at a fortune 200 company that is usually filled with suits, he sits on the toilet and blasts a massive beer shit into the toilet, within seconds the bathroom empties as the people are scared by his massive shit and smell.
My friend is so proud of his accomplishment, I suggest that #1 give it a try.
This is definitely you lol
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Anonymous #12
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Oh boo hoo, three hour shifts starting at 7am. I work 5am-5pm. No one cares that you shit at work.
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Anonymous #13
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Perhaps you need to look at it differently
I enjoy getting paid when I poop at work.
I hold it in until I get to work, and have at least 3 good 20 minute toilet breaks a day.
That way, when I sit there and pinch a loaf, I have the satisfaction of knowing that I am getting paid $63.75 an hour while I do so.
Last year for example I figured I earned over $3300.00 while dropping my shit in their toilet. 
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