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krunkmaster
Cannibal


Registered: 04/26/13
Posts: 117
Last seen: 2 years, 3 months
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have psychedelics helped you come to terms with who you are?
#18766717 - 08/28/13 12:11 AM (10 years, 5 months ago) |
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I've had a kind of lonely void in my life for the last decade or so. I make friends really easily, but I never felt like I can get too close with any of them. there's no particular reason, I think I'm a perfectly normal looking guy and I can hold a conversation and make people laugh. it's just something internally that keeps me from becoming too close with anyone. I used to feel a lot of despair at the fact that I'll probably never have a real relationship because of it. not only because I don't want to be alone, but because I know how society looks at people that never get married as if they have two heads.
but I think all of that started to change when I finally tried psychedelics. I started to understand why I never get too close to people. I have a lot of unusual interests, none of which involve TV or football, and when people start to learn about them, many become really judgmental. I never dealt with judgment well, but that's purely a problem of the ego and presents no actual threat. I also find that I enjoy a lot of solo activities more than social ones, and that there is simply no way I can maintain a hugely active social life while also still doing the things I enjoy.
the most important thing I came to realize though is that there's nothing wrong with any of that. I'm just different. I'm too harsh on myself. if people seem to enjoy my company despite all my internal turbulence, then I must not be treating people poorly, which is all that really matters. if someone seems surprised that I am not in a relationship, I shouldn't immediately feel judged. that's a compliment; it means that they think positively of me as a person.
with my discovery of mushrooms, I feel like I could be content living the rest of my life exactly who I am. that's something I never thought I'd say. what about you guys?
-------------------- Thou shalt not kill my vibe
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MystiqueMushroom


Registered: 11/01/11
Posts: 4,737
Loc: PNW
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Re: have psychedelics helped you come to terms with who you are? [Re: krunkmaster]
#18766825 - 08/28/13 12:47 AM (10 years, 5 months ago) |
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Who cares what 'society' thinks? Bunch of programs anyways
Have you ever tried dmt?
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wolf8312
Pennywise


Registered: 10/01/12
Posts: 2,356
Last seen: 4 days, 21 minutes
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Re: have psychedelics helped you come to terms with who you are? [Re: MystiqueMushroom]
#18766854 - 08/28/13 01:01 AM (10 years, 5 months ago) |
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Yeah they helped me too bud!
Liked your post! I often feel like the only reason human life now endlessly perpetuates itself is not so much from an actual desire to have children, but a desire to be normal and the same as everyone else!
Same with marriage, kind of like something that has been hardwired into the human species thus guaranteeing reproduction and mob enforcement of the status quo! He's not married lets make him feel like a freak and force him to get married!
-------------------- "I'm every nightmare you ever had. I am your worst dreams come true. I am everything you ever were afraid of." Pennywise the dancing clown
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krunkmaster
Cannibal


Registered: 04/26/13
Posts: 117
Last seen: 2 years, 3 months
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Re: have psychedelics helped you come to terms with who you are? [Re: MystiqueMushroom]
#18766878 - 08/28/13 01:11 AM (10 years, 5 months ago) |
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Quote:
MystiqueMushroom said: Who cares what 'society' thinks? Bunch of programs anyways
Have you ever tried dmt?
I feel the same way, but I try not to let that sentiment take too much root and actually develop into a feeling of hatred. I like thinking of "normal" life (beer, nachos, football, reality shows) as simply Not For Me.
I haven't tried DMT, but reading The Spirit Molecule is what sparked my initial interest in psychedelics 2-3 years ago. why do you ask, do you think I would benefit further from it? many things I've heard about DMT suggest that while it is unbelievably powerful, you will not necessarily understand anything you've seen/experienced
-------------------- Thou shalt not kill my vibe
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lessismore
Registered: 02/10/13
Posts: 6,268
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Re: have psychedelics helped you come to terms with who you are? [Re: wolf8312]
#18766883 - 08/28/13 01:12 AM (10 years, 5 months ago) |
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Yup mushroom and the spirit helped me too
Same spirit on lsd it seems
Something speaks through you sometimes in trips
If you are happy and couldnt possibly be happier you are yourself Stress often makes us live against ourselves... or soul loss
Its natural to be happy without needing anything
I only do psychedelics rarely now but binged a bit in the beginning The integration got to be the fun part
Lsd and mushrooms have taught me almost the exact same things
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Gorlami


Registered: 08/28/13
Posts: 328
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Re: have psychedelics helped you come to terms with who you are? [Re: MystiqueMushroom]
#18766899 - 08/28/13 01:19 AM (10 years, 5 months ago) |
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Great post! This generally encapsulates what I feel when try to understand how I fit in society and other peoples lives. I use to try and conform to what I thought others would like me to be, but I was never too comfortable or happy with myself.
Now after trying psychadelics, they've shown me that to be happy in life, I had to fit in by being myself and non-appologetic to those that couldn't understand me. Not only that, I had to accept that I couldn't please everyone, but could only please myself walking my own path. Making the change in myself, rather than trying to change what I couldn't.
I think we all have our own path to happiness and acceptance, mine was just letting go. The people in my environment changed organically as a result.
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krunkmaster
Cannibal


Registered: 04/26/13
Posts: 117
Last seen: 2 years, 3 months
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Re: have psychedelics helped you come to terms with who you are? [Re: wolf8312]
#18766900 - 08/28/13 01:19 AM (10 years, 5 months ago) |
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Quote:
wolf8312 said: Yeah they helped me too bud!
Liked your post! I often feel like the only reason human life now endlessly perpetuates itself is not so much from an actual desire to have children, but a desire to be normal and the same as everyone else!
Same with marriage, kind of like something that has been hardwired into the human species thus guaranteeing reproduction and mob enforcement of the status quo! He's not married lets make him feel like a freak and force him to get married!
it's funny you say that, I have several family members that just got married in the last few years, and one of them basically admitted to me that that was why he got married. "all of my friends were doing it, it was just time." already I see that he's not allowed to do all of the things he used to enjoy doing. and his wife has shamed into going back to college even though he has other practical skills because she "doesn't want to have to tell people that her husband didn't graduate college." it's turned me off from marriage so hard. that's not to say that all women are like that at all, just that "it's about time" is a terrible reason to marry someone!
-------------------- Thou shalt not kill my vibe
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krunkmaster
Cannibal


Registered: 04/26/13
Posts: 117
Last seen: 2 years, 3 months
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Re: have psychedelics helped you come to terms with who you are? [Re: lessismore]
#18766908 - 08/28/13 01:23 AM (10 years, 5 months ago) |
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Quote:
mio said: Yup mushroom and the spirit helped me too
Same spirit on lsd it seems
Something speaks through you sometimes in trips
If you are happy and couldnt possibly be happier you are yourself Stress often makes us live against ourselves... or soul loss
Its natural to be happy without needing anything
I only do psychedelics rarely now but binged a bit in the beginning The integration got to be the fun part
Lsd and mushrooms have taught me almost the exact same things
I have found that, while I end up with similar information in the end, LSD presents its information as me giving advice to myself. with psilocybin, I feel that it's the mushrooms themselves giving me the information. like a friend that knows you really well but you rarely get to speak with him. it's a totally bizarre and subtle difference, but I have noticed it every time. I feel much more that mushrooms have a "personality" to them, and whoever he is, he's really fucking funny
-------------------- Thou shalt not kill my vibe
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Tombc1
Shroomerite



Registered: 09/06/12
Posts: 299
Last seen: 11 months, 21 hours
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Re: have psychedelics helped you come to terms with who you are? [Re: Gorlami]
#18767788 - 08/28/13 09:50 AM (10 years, 5 months ago) |
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Quote:
whalechunks said: Great post! This generally encapsulates what I feel when try to understand how I fit in society and other peoples lives. I use to try and conform to what I thought others would like me to be, but I was never too comfortable or happy with myself.
Now after trying psychadelics, they've shown me that to be happy in life, I had to fit in by being myself and non-appologetic to those that couldn't understand me. Not only that, I had to accept that I couldn't please everyone, but could only please myself walking my own path. Making the change in myself, rather than trying to change what I couldn't.
I think we all have our own path to happiness and acceptance, mine was just letting go. The people in my environment changed organically as a result.
^ Exactly the same with me. 
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TwinEclipse
Psychedelic Alchemist


Registered: 07/06/13
Posts: 1,499
Loc: NGC1097
Last seen: 8 years, 5 months
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Re: have psychedelics helped you come to terms with who you are? [Re: Tombc1]
#18767813 - 08/28/13 09:55 AM (10 years, 5 months ago) |
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Psychedelics challenged my faults and allowed me to forgive myself for all the stupid things I did in the past.
The visuals are just a + to the effects it has on your sense of self, and how you perceive.
-------------------- My purpose: to love, to share, and to experience....all while conforming to my psychedelic experiences.
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Labs4858


Registered: 04/20/13
Posts: 484
Loc: Colorado
Last seen: 4 years, 4 months
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Re: have psychedelics helped you come to terms with who you are? [Re: krunkmaster]
#18767815 - 08/28/13 09:56 AM (10 years, 5 months ago) |
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Quote:
krunkmaster said: I've had a kind of lonely void in my life for the last decade or so. I make friends really easily, but I never felt like I can get too close with any of them. there's no particular reason, I think I'm a perfectly normal looking guy and I can hold a conversation and make people laugh. it's just something internally that keeps me from becoming too close with anyone. I used to feel a lot of despair at the fact that I'll probably never have a real relationship because of it. not only because I don't want to be alone, but because I know how society looks at people that never get married as if they have two heads.
This sounds EXACTLY like me right now it's a little scary!
--------------------
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Tombc1
Shroomerite



Registered: 09/06/12
Posts: 299
Last seen: 11 months, 21 hours
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Re: have psychedelics helped you come to terms with who you are? [Re: Labs4858]
#18767831 - 08/28/13 09:59 AM (10 years, 5 months ago) |
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Quote:
Labs4858 said:
Quote:
krunkmaster said: I've had a kind of lonely void in my life for the last decade or so. I make friends really easily, but I never felt like I can get too close with any of them. there's no particular reason, I think I'm a perfectly normal looking guy and I can hold a conversation and make people laugh. it's just something internally that keeps me from becoming too close with anyone. I used to feel a lot of despair at the fact that I'll probably never have a real relationship because of it. not only because I don't want to be alone, but because I know how society looks at people that never get married as if they have two heads.
This sounds EXACTLY like me right now it's a little scary!
^ Also how I was before I found psychs.
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krunkmaster
Cannibal

Registered: 04/26/13
Posts: 117
Last seen: 2 years, 3 months
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Re: have psychedelics helped you come to terms with who you are? [Re: TwinEclipse]
#18767922 - 08/28/13 10:33 AM (10 years, 5 months ago) |
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Quote:
TwinEclipse said: Psychedelics challenged my faults and allowed me to forgive myself for all the stupid things I did in the past.
The visuals are just a + to the effects it has on your sense of self, and how you perceive.
yes! growing up, I only ever heard the anti-drug propaganda about how it will make you see shit that isn't there (like monsters that are trying to eat your soul). I never once heard about its ability to provide self-analysis and self-actualization. now that I've taken the plunge, I've found that those aspects are actually the most prominent and most important of the experience. the colors, hallucinations, and breathing environments are just a beautiful bonus.
I like your point about forgiving yourself though. you're not the same person now that you were when you made a mistake... unless you didn't learn anything from it.
-------------------- Thou shalt not kill my vibe
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krunkmaster
Cannibal

Registered: 04/26/13
Posts: 117
Last seen: 2 years, 3 months
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Re: have psychedelics helped you come to terms with who you are? [Re: Gorlami]
#18767937 - 08/28/13 10:40 AM (10 years, 5 months ago) |
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Quote:
whalechunks said: Great post! This generally encapsulates what I feel when try to understand how I fit in society and other peoples lives. I use to try and conform to what I thought others would like me to be, but I was never too comfortable or happy with myself.
Now after trying psychadelics, they've shown me that to be happy in life, I had to fit in by being myself and non-appologetic to those that couldn't understand me. Not only that, I had to accept that I couldn't please everyone, but could only please myself walking my own path. Making the change in myself, rather than trying to change what I couldn't.
I think we all have our own path to happiness and acceptance, mine was just letting go. The people in my environment changed organically as a result.
I forgot to reply to this last night. I noticed the people in my environment changed on its own as well. I have never been a big fan of the bar scene, at least the modern version of it with bad music playing so loudly you can't even hear yourself speak, but I surrounded myself with friends that cared about nothing else. as a result, I was constantly finding myself spending my little free time in completely unbearable social situations.
once I started to embrace the fact that I do not like the bar/club scene and never will, and that I should therefore stop pretending to myself and others that I do, those friends started drifting out of my life and new friends found their way in. I still make new friends that I do not have a lot in common with, but I am no longer trying to market myself to them and do not do things I don't like just to please them.
-------------------- Thou shalt not kill my vibe
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Universe
Friend


Registered: 05/27/13
Posts: 1,161
Last seen: 1 day, 3 hours
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Re: have psychedelics helped you come to terms with who you are? [Re: krunkmaster]
#18768051 - 08/28/13 11:30 AM (10 years, 5 months ago) |
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I was heavily into psychedelics during my later formative years - between 16 and 22. I came out of it a whole different person. Even though I didn't use them for decades after, I've always thought of myself as a psychedelic person, a psychedelic thinker. I feel that it made me kinder, more accepting, more humble, more patient, more thankful for the good things in my life. My fear of death has only to do with the people I would leave behind, I have no personal fear of what would happen to me. Psychedelics filled my imagination with things I never would have thought about otherwise, and that's something I value during every waking moment.
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krunkmaster
Cannibal


Registered: 04/26/13
Posts: 117
Last seen: 2 years, 3 months
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Re: have psychedelics helped you come to terms with who you are? [Re: Universe]
#18768253 - 08/28/13 12:31 PM (10 years, 5 months ago) |
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nice post, Universe 
definitely made me more accepting as well. I think the common message across all of my trips has been: "relax, everything is fine"
-------------------- Thou shalt not kill my vibe
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JacksonMetaller
Stranger

Registered: 03/13/11
Posts: 13,361
Last seen: 1 year, 1 month
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Re: have psychedelics helped you come to terms with who you are? [Re: krunkmaster]
#18768289 - 08/28/13 12:43 PM (10 years, 5 months ago) |
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Absolutely bud. I'm literally in the same exact boat as you minus the girlfriend part. I was able to find a girl who is nearly identical to me in all those aspects and accepting of me in all others.
Anyways, my breakthrough moment was on a very strong dose of 25i at a burn festival. I have a social trauma background and this was literally the first time in my life I felt okay with my existence in a big group of people. Like my gf told me in a dog analogy... "people dont care what you say or do. What's more important is that they like the smell of your butt"
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Tombc1
Shroomerite



Registered: 09/06/12
Posts: 299
Last seen: 11 months, 21 hours
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Re: have psychedelics helped you come to terms with who you are? [Re: Universe]
#18768321 - 08/28/13 12:52 PM (10 years, 5 months ago) |
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Quote:
Universe said: I was heavily into psychedelics during my later formative years - between 16 and 22. I came out of it a whole different person. Even though I didn't use them for decades after, I've always thought of myself as a psychedelic person, a psychedelic thinker. I feel that it made me kinder, more accepting, more humble, more patient, more thankful for the good things in my life. My fear of death has only to do with the people I would leave behind, I have no personal fear of what would happen to me. Psychedelics filled my imagination with things I never would have thought about otherwise, and that's something I value during every waking moment.
Mhm - same boat as me; every time I eat psilocybin all I can think is 'WHY... IS... THIS.. ILLEGAL!?!?!'
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