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Anonymous #1

Forced defecation
    #18764432 - 08/27/13 03:17 PM (10 years, 5 months ago)

I can't fucking believe I'm actually making a thread about this, but... how do you, to avoid facing the workplace toilets?
Consistently, I can't go in the morning and as soon as I get into work I feel like shit (no pun intended)



So, uh... yeah, what should I do?


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Anonymous #2

Re: Forced defecation [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #18764451 - 08/27/13 03:21 PM (10 years, 5 months ago)

Fiber before you go to bed or as soon as you wake up :lol:


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Anonymous #3

Re: Forced defecation [Re: Anonymous #2] * 1
    #18764463 - 08/27/13 03:24 PM (10 years, 5 months ago)



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Anonymous #4

Re: Forced defecation [Re: Anonymous #3]
    #18764810 - 08/27/13 04:36 PM (10 years, 5 months ago)

make it a habit of waking yourself up 2 hours before work and take a shit before work.


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Anonymous #5

Re: Forced defecation [Re: Anonymous #4]
    #18764861 - 08/27/13 04:49 PM (10 years, 5 months ago)

wake up early n drink coffee


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Anonymous #6

Re: Forced defecation [Re: Anonymous #5]
    #18764899 - 08/27/13 04:57 PM (10 years, 5 months ago)

I hate poopin at work.  Luckily I work very short shifts and live 3 minutes from work.

Idk man.  Wakin up early and drinkin coffee is a good one.

Maybe change what you eat and what times.

Or maybe just learn to shit at work and not give a fuck


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Anonymous #1

Re: Forced defecation [Re: Anonymous #2]
    #18765014 - 08/27/13 05:27 PM (10 years, 5 months ago)

Quote:

Anonymous #4 said:
make it a habit of waking yourself up 2 hours before work and take a shit before work.



Quote:

Anonymous #5 said:
wake up early n drink coffee



Quote:

Anonymous #2 said:
Fiber before you go to bed or as soon as you wake up :lol:




Problem is, I gotta be at work by 7AM. Early shit, it's like high school all over again. I like staying up and fucking around online so I usually go to sleep at like 9:30-11, get up at 6 and lay in bed for 20 minutes, take 20 minutes to shower, 10 minutes just to get dressed, I'm always rushing in work unprepared and sometimes forgetting shit like paperwork... don't have enough time to get up 2 hours before y'know?


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Anonymous #7

Re: Forced defecation [Re: Anonymous #3]
    #18765043 - 08/27/13 05:33 PM (10 years, 5 months ago)

Quote:

Anonymous #3 said:





I think this would be the most interesting option, for conversation and people's sense of smell..

But seriously the fibre before bed recommendation


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Anonymous #1

Re: Forced defecation [Re: Anonymous #7]
    #18765056 - 08/27/13 05:35 PM (10 years, 5 months ago)

Quote:

Anonymous #7 said:
Quote:

Anonymous #3 said:





I think this would be the most interesting option, for conversation and people's sense of smell..

But seriously the fibre before bed recommendation



Yeah but what if I can't, I go to work, and am incredibly constipated the entire day because of the fiber?


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Anonymous #7

Re: Forced defecation [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #18765183 - 08/27/13 06:12 PM (10 years, 5 months ago)

Fibre makes you poop? Hell then take some laxatives ha ha


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Anonymous #8

Re: Forced defecation [Re: Anonymous #7] * 1
    #18765214 - 08/27/13 06:19 PM (10 years, 5 months ago)

Cheap cans of ice beer and tacos at night.  Coffee in the morning
We'll have ya pissin out the ass in no time.
You won't have to ask "do I feel like uing the at work bathroom?"

More like jumping backwards emergency style while power blasting just prior to actually landing...


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Anonymous #9

Re: Forced defecation [Re: Anonymous #8]
    #18765866 - 08/27/13 08:55 PM (10 years, 5 months ago)

Personally, i dont like to shit place my ass aint' familiar with.

But sometimes, ya gotta do what ya gotta do.

I recommend keeping some comforts from home at the workplace. I bring a Rolling Stone magazine and Charmin triple ply toilet paper.


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Anonymous #3

Re: Forced defecation [Re: Anonymous #9]
    #18765878 - 08/27/13 08:58 PM (10 years, 5 months ago)

\

great ideas, and this probably wouldn't hurt as well. maybe play some music so you aren't paranoid people will hear the plop plop.


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Anonymous #6

Re: Forced defecation [Re: Anonymous #3]
    #18765928 - 08/27/13 09:05 PM (10 years, 5 months ago)

Quote:

Anonymous #3 said:

maybe play some music so you aren't paranoid people will hear the plop plop.





The plop plop :ilold:


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Anonymous #8

Re: Forced defecation [Re: Anonymous #6]
    #18765959 - 08/27/13 09:10 PM (10 years, 5 months ago)

How bout the plug?
One solid turd, followed by pure liquid


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Anonymous #10

Re: Forced defecation [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #18766782 - 08/28/13 12:31 AM (10 years, 5 months ago)

man i love poopin at work. getting paid to shit almost feels as good as getting paid while you sleep.

you should learn to appreciate your workplace toilets. then your problem is solved.


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Anonymous #11

Re: Forced defecation [Re: Anonymous #10]
    #18768038 - 08/28/13 11:24 AM (10 years, 5 months ago)

Quote:

Anonymous #10 said:
man i love poopin at work. getting paid to shit almost feels as good as getting paid while you sleep.

you should learn to appreciate your workplace toilets. then your problem is solved.


:whathesaid:

I know someone that holds in their poop until they get into work, and then at this large bathroom at a fortune 200 company that is usually filled with suits, he sits on the toilet and blasts a massive beer shit into the toilet, within seconds the bathroom empties as the people are scared by his massive shit and smell.

My friend is so proud of his accomplishment, I suggest that #1 give it a try.


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Anonymous #7

Re: Forced defecation [Re: Anonymous #11]
    #18768048 - 08/28/13 11:28 AM (10 years, 5 months ago)

Quote:

Anonymous #11 said:
Quote:

Anonymous #10 said:
man i love poopin at work. getting paid to shit almost feels as good as getting paid while you sleep.

you should learn to appreciate your workplace toilets. then your problem is solved.


:whathesaid:

I know someone that holds in their poop until they get into work, and then at this large bathroom at a fortune 200 company that is usually filled with suits, he sits on the toilet and blasts a massive beer shit into the toilet, within seconds the bathroom empties as the people are scared by his massive shit and smell.

My friend is so proud of his accomplishment, I suggest that #1 give it a try.




This is definitely you lol


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Anonymous #12

Re: Forced defecation [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #18768207 - 08/28/13 12:22 PM (10 years, 5 months ago)

Oh boo hoo, three hour shifts starting at 7am. I work 5am-5pm. No one cares that you shit at work.


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Anonymous #13

Re: Forced defecation [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #18772066 - 08/29/13 07:51 AM (10 years, 5 months ago)

Perhaps you need to look at it differently

I enjoy getting paid when I poop at work.

I hold it in until I get to work, and have at least 3 good 20 minute toilet breaks a day.

That way, when I sit there and pinch a loaf, I have the satisfaction of knowing that I am getting paid $63.75 an hour while I do so.

Last year for example  I figured I earned over $3300.00 while dropping my shit in their toilet. :thumbup:

:cuteshit:


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