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OfflineUn Libertin
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Registered: 08/27/13
Posts: 3
Last seen: 10 years, 4 months
First trip report - LSD, amphets and MDMA
    #18762947 - 08/27/13 08:53 AM (10 years, 5 months ago)

I had my first experience with psychedelics last week. I genuinely consider myself lucky to be alive after what happened, but I know I'm a different person. It's pretty long.

--

So me and my best friend (let's call him A) are at a festival. I've been there quite a few times and it has a significance to me, being the place where I 'grew up' with music from my early teens to now. I feel like I have a deep, emotional connection with the place and I was so happy when we arrived that day. Bear in mind that this is a huge festival, attended by around 90,000 people.

Me and A had been smoking a lot of weed the last few months to listen to music - we're huge musos. We'd been getting high and discussing something that we called 'it', which is basically a state of understanding of primarily music but life in general that I won't get into right now, and we could tell after a while if a person got 'it' or not. You probably know what I'm talking about. There are only three people I knew at the time who genuinely got 'it', and me and A were smoking weed in our tent with the other guy, J, at around 8pm. Prior to this, me and A had been drinking since about 3pm.

After a couple of spliffs we decided to get some MDMA, and ended up buying 1g of it. Me and J did quite a lot, and A had a few lines. We carried on smoking and after a while decided to head to J's tent to chill with a few of his friends there. We got some more beers along the way, and in J's tent there was some rum and three bottles of wine which we passed around between the three of us. By this time I was feeling great, and we carried on smoking weed, drinking and talking about music and such for a good few hours.

At around midnight we went to see a few friends who were camped nearby, doing more MDMA on the way. After about 5 minutes of being there, a guy came over selling LSD. I asked him how much, and he said that he would give us some for free - he had lots of it and wanted people to have a good time, as well as make contacts for the rest of the festival. Me, A and J got a tab each from the guy, and me and A hit them straight away. J wanted to save his for later. The guy who gave the tabs to us hung about around our campfire with us and our friends to make sure everything was okay. Me and J finished off the MDMA, and J decided to call it a night and head back to his tent. Now it was just me, A, four or five of our friends and the guy who gave us the acid, who was with two of his friends. One of mine and A's friends was having a really bad time with alcohol and kept throwing up, but otherwise we were having a great time round the fire.

After about 20 minutes, A starts shouting that he can see purple shooting stars cutting through clouds, and lays on the floor describing the sky for a good 15 minutes. The acid didn't seem to be doing anything for me, so I told the dealer who gave me another, weaker tab to help kick start things. We smoked some more weed and drunk some more, and A is tripping moderately. One of my and A's mutual friends sees what is happening and wants to get some LSD, so buys three tabs from the guy. At this point I'm feeling really pleasant but still not tripping. I'd not read much about LSD so didn't know the procedure, how much you should take etc. So I persuaded our mutual friend who just bought three to give me one and I'd pay him later. I did the third tab.

About 15 minutes later I'm laying on the floor and shit hits me instantly. I saw the shooting stars that A described, I saw clouds morphing into things and fights going on between clouds - in my mind there were positive and negative clouds fighting. I tell A I can see it too, and he is happy - we decide to go find our tent to chill out for a while and let the LSD do its thing. A is walking in front of me, and all of a sudden he starts running, so I run after him, faster and faster until we're sprinting at an insane speed. A trips over a tent wire and flies about five feet in the air and hits the ground, then starts laughing like a madman. He says he is running from me.

We get lost trying to find the tent, and I started to get kinda worried. We're on some path surrounded by tents and my visuals are starting to get pretty crazy. The ocean of tents were all changing colours at an insane speed, people were flying and the festival site was like a living, breathing monster - the floor was expanding and it was raining fire in the distance. A says that he saw my eyes fly way past him. I knew I'd done too much. I start to freak out and need to get back to the tent, feeling like I would either have a heart attack, stroke or pass out if I stayed in this ocean of thousands and thousands of breathing, strobe-like tents for any longer.

A led me to where he thought his tent was and we come across a couple of guys and girls sat around a campfire. They ask us to sit down and we chat for a while. The sun is coming up and I feel a little better, but I'm still tripping like I didn't even know was possible. We had a few beers and the people we're with ask me if I want any wizz. Stupidly I said yes. I smoked a little bit of the speed with some aluminium and then moved from my chair to the floor by the fire with A. A is having a great time watching the sky and tents. The fire starts morphing intensely before my eyes, the coals swirling around and the flames curling in all directions and flickering away into the sky. The coals and flames together were morphing into faces which were growing bodies and coming towards me. By this time the sun is coming up - around 6am. Things are getting pretty dark for me and me and A decide to head back to our tent, which we eventually found. We just sat outside it as the sun rose, and then it started getting pretty intense. A turned into what I thought was a cartoon character, and there were cartoon dragons and fireworks in the air, and all the tents were abstract, colour-changing cartoon tiles. I kept seeing what I thought was the face of Jesus in the fireworks in the sky, bearing in mind I'm an atheist and religion plays no part in my life. There seemed to be a conflict in my head between the objective reality and what I was seeing. I told A that he wasn't a thing anymore, and I remember him saying something like 'you have to remember that there is a world outside this'. I had no idea where I was, and there was this one part from a song running through my head that seemed to be the setting for this trip. I was in the music. I'll embed the song here to give you an idea of what it was like.



At this point I'm really freaking out and I'm on the verge of calling help. We wake up a girl who is camped near us and she comes to see what is happening. She is a sort-of friend, and I was really happy to see her, but she couldn't help. We told her what I'd taken and she didn't know what to do. A kept talking about what was happening to him and his voice was the worst thing in the world. All I wanted was for him to be quiet. I kept telling him rather aggressively to shut the hell up, because it was driving me insane. He said that he thought I was gonna die. He said that if my trip was even twice as intense as his, then I'd gone too far. Three tabs, half a gram of MDMA, 3 or 4 hits of speed, around 14 or 15 joints and enough alcohol to make some pass out (I'm a big drinker and paced myself) was too much for anyone. I felt like I was losing reality. I'd never done LSD before. I decided the best thing to do was to go in my compartment in the tent and ride it out.

I went in the tent, zipped up my compartment, removed my jeans, got in the sleeping bag and laid on the pillow. There was no way I was sleeping. The tent was moving and breathing, and I kept hearing A's voice from every direction. What was running through my head was from 4:18 in the song above. I was in this tent and the tent was flying through the landscape of this song, an eternal void which kept repeating and would never end. All the voices I could hear outside as everyone was awakening were the voices of a million people I had spoken to in my life but I knew would never come in the tent because I was in a separate reality. And when I say I lost reality, I mean I lost reality. For around 5 hours I laid with my eyes shut, but not seeing darkness. The best way I can describe it is that I was fighting a battle for my soul, being tried by the courts of insanity for crimes I was aware of, but not entirely sure of. A said that every few hours I would just shout 'fuck' and 'christ', but I have no idea. Fireworks were going off in my tent, nothing was a physical thing, only a projection of the tent. I kept hearing two words in my head - 'Experimental Christianity'. The words were spelt out in the light of the fireworks which I kept seeing. In my minds eye I kept seeing an acid tab with the bloodied face of Jesus on it, and one number kept running through my head. 154.

I couldn't think of the name of what the drug was that had done this. All I saw was a tab with Jesus on it, and all I could hear was 'Experimental Christianity'. All of a sudden there was a huge chorus of people shouting A's name outside the tent, and I'm not sure what happened, but for the next hour, every 15/20 minutes what seemed like hundreds of people would shout his name from all directions. I asked about this later and it did actually happen, and carried on happening on throughout the festival - some sort of festival joke about that specific name.

A came into my compartment in the tent. He said I looked dreadful and he could see veins showing in my face. But he said that my face was the coolest thing in the world, and that it would be an amazing, dark album cover, one of the best album covers he'd ever seen in his life. I tried to begin to explain what had happened while I'd been in there but I couldn't. A said he understood that he has no idea and never will. He tried to play some music to me but I couldn't handle it. As soon as I heard the music coming quietly from the headphones as he turned them on I was sent into some sensory overload. I hit the floor, zipped the tent back up and stayed there for a few more hours. It wasn't as bad as last time and I even started to feel a little pleasant as time passed, zipped away in my tent in the void of Tame Impala. I tried to leave the tent a few hours later, but couldn't handle the world outside my tent. It was around 2pm now and the clouds were still morphing intensely into things, tents still appearing as colours that they weren't. A friend of ours came over and we had two or three joints, and I felt a little better. After about an hour me and A went to go for a walk, which seemed like the worst idea in the world to me but eventually I decided to do it.

As I was walking I felt disconnected from reality. A told me that I said I wished I was tuned into the same thing as everybody else, but I wasn't. All these people seemed to have a purpose in life, they knew what they were doing with their day, and I felt sorry for and envied them at the same time. The night before me and A had been discussing our favourite artists, the artists that got us into music and to where we are today as people musically. We went past some stall and they were playing a song out of these huge speakers, a song which happened to be A's favourite song from his favourite album of his favourite artist, the same artist that got him into music to the point where it dominated his life, and a song that isn't very well known. He couldn't believe it. We were so happy this had happened, and amazed especially considering what we were talking about the night before. There was a phone charging stall next to it, so I went to charge my phone while A listened to the song. Two weird things happened here:

1) This stall was playing music too. And it was also my favourite song from my favourite artist. My mind was absolutely blown. The night before me and A had being discussing this band, and listened to them for a few hours for the first time in months.
2) The people at the stall give you a number when you leave your phone with them so you can get your phone back. They wrote the number on my hand. It was 154 - the same number that kept recurring in my trip.

A came over. He heard the song that was playing, looked at my hand, and was mindblown. We just stood there for like 15 minutes. As we started to walk again some guy came over and asked me if I was Jesus, saying that I am what he imagines Jesus to look like 'if he experimented with drugs'. Bear in mind I look nothing like what Jesus did or is portrayed as looking like. The words 'Experimental Christianity' kept coming back to me. I couldn't, and still can't, figure it out. We carried on walking in this altered state. Everybody seemed to understand 'It', and we knew we'd been on a journey, and that everyone else was on their own journey. A just wanted to make sure everybody had a great time. He spent the entire trip laid on the grass listening to music, and smoking weed.

We walked around for a few more hours. I returned to my tent - I felt an attachment to the pillow and sleeping bag. A went around, seeing his friends and smoking. It eventually wore off the morning after (approx. 30 hours after the hit and 46 hours after waking up from 3 hours sleep that night) and I managed to sleep for a few hours. Later that weekend, I saw Tame Impala live, and it all seemed to make sense.

There's a whole lot more I could talk about, but I feel like words can't do it justice. I definitely do feel like a different person. I feel like after the conflict that manifested itself into a battle with my own mind and objective reality in the tent, there's nothing worse in life that I'll ever have to face. And to that end, I feel invincible.

This whole journey is going to manifest itself into something creative. Me and A are going to write an album called '154: Experimental Christianity', and we know what the album cover is. And it's going to be one of the best things ever.


Edited by Un Libertin (08/27/13 09:09 AM)


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OfflineDeathcore
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Registered: 06/08/13
Posts: 1,934
Last seen: 4 years, 1 month
Re: First trip report - LSD, amphets and MDMA [Re: Un Libertin]
    #18764204 - 08/27/13 02:30 PM (10 years, 5 months ago)

i read your report, ill comment on it later..

have your religious views changed any?


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InvisibleBlazer420
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Registered: 06/13/09
Posts: 4,825
Re: First trip report - LSD, amphets and MDMA [Re: Deathcore]
    #18765533 - 08/27/13 07:43 PM (10 years, 5 months ago)

that was a great report, thank you for sharing!

My favorite part is when the people by a campfire asked you guys 2 chill with them, I think they saved you from the insanity that was going off with a head full of drugs lol :super::highfive:


--------------------
~ I used to get high on life, until I realized life was cut with morons ~
* You need 2 wake up and smell the music! *
-We are all computer data in a materialistic world-
|Sometimes you have to lose yourself, to find anything|


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OfflineUn Libertin
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Registered: 08/27/13
Posts: 3
Last seen: 10 years, 4 months
Re: First trip report - LSD, amphets and MDMA [Re: Blazer420]
    #18765652 - 08/27/13 08:11 PM (10 years, 5 months ago)

Quote:

Deathcore said:
i read your report, ill comment on it later..

have your religious views changed any?




About that, there's two things I forgot to mention:
1) I remember the exact moment when the darkest part of the trip was over. I saw an intense white light, with stairs that led to nothing. But nothing wasn't black, or white, or any colour. It was literally nothing. I felt then completely at peace, and elevating towards some higher power. It was at this point that A came in to check on me, which snapped me out of it and I felt much better.

What happened is that I'd gone past a point where I wasn't real, and everything else was. This had happened, and subverted to the point where I was the only real thing that existed, and it was the worst thing imaginable. In that tent I was fighting to become 'not real' again, which if you think about it is absolutely harrowing. I could see nothing beyond that point, and I was even grateful for the void of the song that I was flying through, because at least there WAS a void. It was pretty dark.

2) A few years ago when I first moved into my new house, on the first night of sleeping there I awoke at like 3am and wandered around my house in a semi-conscious, sort of psychosis state, and a voice kept whispering the word 'Nicodemus' in my ear, and it was the most terrifying night of my life. Stuff like that NEVER happens to me. Now I don't know where I heard this word, and I'd blocked it out completely until it came back to me today after writing this out. I looked up Nicodemus, and its a guy from the bible who popped up at various times in Jesus' life to sort his shit out: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nicodemus
'The discussion with Jesus is the source of several common expressions of contemporary Christianity, specifically, the descriptive phrase born again.'
I need to look into this guy more to know exactly what it means, but I don't know if I'm scared or not. I told A about it just tonight and he said he remembers when I first told him. He was freaked out.

Over the last year my life has taken a spiral into lots of drinking, drugs, bad grades etc.. and it all started at the same festival the year before. After this time I feel like my life is getting back on track again already. I feel more creative, productive, motivated.. it's a great feeling.

Quote:

Blazer420 said:
that was a great report, thank you for sharing!

My favorite part is when the people by a campfire asked you guys 2 chill with them, I think they saved you from the insanity that was going off with a head full of drugs lol :super::highfive:




Thanks! They didn't really save me. I was completely out of mind and speed was the worst thing I could have done at that time. The last time I did speed was also at a festival and I had the worst comedown of my life. But then again, it was nice to be with other humans, even if they did appear more like benevolent dragons to me.


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OfflineUn Libertin
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Registered: 08/27/13
Posts: 3
Last seen: 10 years, 4 months
Re: First trip report - LSD, amphets and MDMA [Re: Un Libertin]
    #18780347 - 08/31/13 05:48 AM (10 years, 4 months ago)

Shameless bump.. interested to hear people's opinions on this,
as it was my first time.


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