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Offlinesafe-mind
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Registered: 08/04/13
Posts: 9
Last seen: 10 years, 5 months
depersonalized users unite
    #18762527 - 08/27/13 04:24 AM (10 years, 5 months ago)

hey guys. I know there's plenty of threads out the on depersonalization, but all of the threads I've read focused on one person's issues. This thread will be different. I don't mean to sound sensitive, but we can come here for comfort. I sure as hell need some. Badly. Everybody I try talking to about this just tells me "everybody goes through depression".. If only I could show them for a day how it feels. I think then this would be taken more seriously than having "the blues"

but anyways, I'm sure we all want to connect to others who started noticing the effects of depersonalization or derealization (I know they're different).. hell, lets even bring in the HPPD folks... We can discuss anything that has to do with it :smile: I'll make a follow up post in a bit

feel free to post advice.. your personal story.. maybe even a different look on depersonalization. There's just so many questions to be asked, answered, and pondered. Any comments would be appreciated.


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OfflineMush4Brains
LOOL HACKED!!!

Registered: 07/31/13
Posts: 4,419
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Re: depersonalized users unite [Re: safe-mind]
    #18762533 - 08/27/13 04:28 AM (10 years, 5 months ago)

As somebody who has experienced all three, it gets better with time.  The HPPD is probably the longest lasting of them all, but a break from all drugs (yes, that includes weed) will help correct such issues (if you find them to be an issue, that is).


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Offlinesafe-mind
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Registered: 08/04/13
Posts: 9
Last seen: 10 years, 5 months
Re: depersonalized users unite [Re: safe-mind]
    #18762554 - 08/27/13 04:39 AM (10 years, 5 months ago)

I'll make a little introduction for myself.

Hi guys, my name is safe mind.. I'm on the younger end of the scale. 20 years of age right now. When I was about 15 I started smoking pot. Pot has always been good to me IMO. It wasn't til a year or two later that a friend of my sister offered me a few 3 gram bags of synthetic cannabis called "space" (ironic eh?). I smoked some, couldn't stop laughing. Actually had a good time. One of these times I recall smoking a bit more than usual. I had hallucinations.. extreme hallucinations. I was delusional, didn't know where or who I was. My sisters friend had been playing a game in my room and was sitting on a chair. I looked over at the tv and the characters were popping out of the screen.. Looked over to him and I just saw the remote floating and heard his voice but couldn't see him. Needless to say, it was an intense hallucinatory trip (and this is coming from a DMT user). I haven't felt the same since. It wasn't a bad trip, I was actually laughing the whole time. But since then, I've felt disconnected from the earth. You know, the usual symptoms of depersonalization.. Feeling disconnected.. feeling dreamy. I'm sure you guys can relate to my slight fear of looking at yourself in the mirror. The image truly frightens me at times. Another thing I don't like is to look at my hands. I feel like I'm watching them in third person. I'm gonna try to stop looking at them now. Anyways, that's how I ended up here years later. Effects still going strong, but I have to admit, I haven't stopped using drugs besides the synthetic cannabis. I use shrooms, pot, alcohol, tobacco and occasional DMT. But I think my life is getting to the point where I may have to set these things aside for the better good :frown: it was a hell of a ride, I'll say that. I think I may have fried my brain at too early of an age. I hope not.. But yeah, this is where I'm at in life.


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Offlinesafe-mind
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Registered: 08/04/13
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Re: depersonalized users unite [Re: safe-mind]
    #18762562 - 08/27/13 04:45 AM (10 years, 5 months ago)

hey mush4brains. Thanks for the reply!

So have you moved past the symptoms? the symptoms for me are like a roller coaster.. Some months are great most are effecting me strongly. Like I said though, I haven't stopped the drugs. I find it hard because it's what I do really. My hobbies are growing pot and cultivating shrooms. It's what I study all day. So me giving up drugs would be very life changing, but hopefully in a good way.

a question for you, have you given up drugs completely? do you feel better after so long of going through this?

edit: sorry guys if I come back to this thread too often. Sometimes I can just really use the words of another human to help me through this, I figure it's the same for others out there


Edited by safe-mind (08/27/13 05:04 AM)


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OfflinePsychotria
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Re: depersonalized users unite [Re: safe-mind]
    #18762603 - 08/27/13 05:34 AM (10 years, 5 months ago)

I am back to having HPPD.... "If only Nbomes weren't as cheap"


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OfflineBetter_Call_Saul
Amateur Psychonaut
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Registered: 08/27/13
Posts: 5
Loc: Wiltshire, United Kingdom
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Re: depersonalized users unite [Re: Psychotria]
    #18762608 - 08/27/13 05:37 AM (10 years, 5 months ago)

I've suffered from DPD for a year now, i believe it is linked to ADD and ADHD, i believe i got it from smoking weed.. I have found that having dpd is similar to a mild ketamine trip.. i have gotten used to it now though..


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InvisibleInto The Woods
Quarantine King
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Registered: 04/20/13
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Re: depersonalized users unite [Re: Better_Call_Saul]
    #18762864 - 08/27/13 08:15 AM (10 years, 5 months ago)

I went through a period in my life where I suffered severe depersonalization that continued for months on end.

I went through this about three to four years before my first psychedelic experience,  at the time I had no idea what to make of it, but I now have a much better understanding of what I experienced. When I first experienced depersonalization, it happened spontaneously and I had no idea what was happening or how to handle it. I thought I was going insane. I was even afraid to sleep that first night because I thought I would never wake up as myself. I thought I would wake up psychotic. The next day,  after the experience I felt as though I had completely lost my sense of self, that I was nothing but the core of myself, like my personality, my slate had been wiped clean and I was forced to re-discover myself in every aspect and re-evaluate everything I had ever known and I felt as if I had gained such insights into the human mind and the world around me (much like a trip), that I knew more than I ever wanted or needed to know because a lot of it was initially quite horrifying, this lasted for the better part of a year before I overcame it.

Because I had no idea what was happening to me, I felt like I had gone over brink of madness and I had nothing to fall back on to tell myself "it will pass", it felt like I would stay that way for the rest of my life. I became profoundly depressed, I isolated myself and even developed insomnia.  At times I gave up on imagining these feelings would pass and I would ever find myself again and for a long, long time having socially isolated myself, I felt lost and alone because nobody I talked to could relate to or understand what I was going through, I didn't even know how to communicate it properly at the time. I had never heard or read about anything like it before, I had no guidance, and no words for what had happened.
I tried to talk to countless therapists about it but to no avail. I didn't have the right words for it. I spoke primarily in metaphors.
But this wasn't a diagnosable psychological illness or simple chemical imbalance, it had become an emotional, existential, philosophical crisis of which my identity continued to suffer as a result of the overwhelming nature of the deconstruction of my entire sense of self and analyzation of thought I had.

I wish I had someone there at the time to tell me that I was not alone in my way of thinking, that others have experienced and overcome, that there is an explanation to what I was experiencing and that by staying strong and working through it by learning to accept and adapt to what I knew was real, it most definitely does pass and through it one would become a psychologically stronger, more wholesome, rational and experienced human being with a foundational grip on reality because of it.

The beginning of working through this was focus on solid reality. I found focus to be the key. Focus on what you know is real without a doubt. Even the simplest of things. Especially the simplest of things. Scientific concepts as simple and obvious as gravity. Simple mathematics, even counting to ten and back. Objects around you, the chair you're sitting on. The computer that you're typing on. The food that you eat. The water that you drink. The floor you're standing on. The shirt that you're wearing. The ceiling that you're under. The time on the nearest clock. The last movie you watched, the last book that you read. The sky, the clouds, the sun and the moon. Light a candle, the flame is real.  All these things are real. They exist in solid reality, without doubt. They are real.

Think about yourself. You are real. Your hands are real. Your feet are real. Your hair is real (unless you're bald, sorry about that). Your face is real. Your body is real. Your emotions are real. The love you feel for your family and friends is real. Your childhood was real. Your memories are real. Your thoughts are real. You are real and you are working through your difficulties. You are not crazy. You are not going crazy. You never were crazy. You have always been real, since the day you were born. You were and always will be - you.

Focus on what is real and you will build the ladder back to yourself. You are already building.

I sincerely hope I've been of some help to someone in a similar situation I was in, or any of you for that matter. :peace:

Keep it real! (:


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OfflineTwinEclipse
Psychedelic Alchemist
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Registered: 07/06/13
Posts: 1,499
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Re: depersonalized users unite [Re: Mush4Brains]
    #18762913 - 08/27/13 08:38 AM (10 years, 5 months ago)

Quote:

Mush4Brains said:
As somebody who has experienced all three, it gets better with time.  The HPPD is probably the longest lasting of them all, but a break from all drugs (yes, that includes weed) will help correct such issues (if you find them to be an issue, that is).




:bigyesnod:

I agree. NO WEED EITHER! I stopped for a month on a vacation to El Salvador. When I came back, I felt less foggy, more motivated, and best of all, visual snow and those worrying tracers were moderately diminished.

My HPPD Is completely gone now:dancer: I can't say for the depersonalization part, but at least my perspective of my mental state has changed for the better.

And in HS, I bet I took more drugs than most...not to brag, but just trying to illustrate that the grass is greener on the other side.

You need to resist instant gratification, and focus on your future for a bit. That's what I did, and my life changed completely. And i love it.


--------------------
My purpose: to love, to share, and to experience....all while conforming to my psychedelic experiences.



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Offlinesafe-mind
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Registered: 08/04/13
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Re: depersonalized users unite [Re: TwinEclipse]
    #18763981 - 08/27/13 01:38 PM (10 years, 5 months ago)

I can't thank you guys enough.  seriously. This is what I needed, to connect to others who felt the same. I'm going to honestly stay away from drugs at least for a bit. I'd much rather have the comfort of my mind. Thank you guys so much.

into the woods, thank you very much for reminding me what is real. i've been losing touch on that.


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OfflinePsychotria
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Re: depersonalized users unite [Re: safe-mind]
    #18764869 - 08/27/13 04:51 PM (10 years, 5 months ago)

Yes i am kind of stuck like you, well with my HPPD i am in the period of smoking heaps of bowls, breakfast, lunch, dinner, before sleep. And i really can't just stop instantly, i need to cut down without getting disgusting withdrawals.


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OfflineSpike24
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Registered: 08/27/13
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Re: depersonalized users unite [Re: Psychotria]
    #18765023 - 08/27/13 05:28 PM (10 years, 5 months ago)

http://www.shroomery.org/forums/showflat.php/Number/18764966 I just wrote this post, explaining, what I think it is , my onset depersonalisation issue. Feel free to have a look and leave a comment explaining your thoughts, because, just as you guys, I'm looking for some comfort that I'm not all alone in this and that it will be ok. Stay strong and think positive!


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OfflineAlmond Flour
...get off my lawn!
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Registered: 12/26/08
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Re: depersonalized users unite [Re: Mush4Brains]
    #18769532 - 08/28/13 05:47 PM (10 years, 5 months ago)

Ive had all these issues. Drinking water, eating healthy, and trusting in the Lord cured all of them. May not work for you, but :shrug:

Took a LONG time, but it happened and im pretty grounded these days. Sure I have a few bad ones, where things get a little more intense, but hang in there


--------------------
Hippies and Liberals love Pope Francis, so why dont I quote him for you guys. "There is NO SALVATION outside the Catholic Church" :morningtoke:


Edited by Almond Flour (08/28/13 05:48 PM)


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InvisibledeCypher
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Registered: 02/10/08
Posts: 56,232
Re: depersonalized users unite [Re: Almond Flour]
    #18769866 - 08/28/13 06:49 PM (10 years, 5 months ago)

I would recommend quitting marijuana to anyone who is currently suffering from DP/DR or HPPD, as it tends to exacerbate the symptoms.


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We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars.


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OfflineTwinEclipse
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Re: depersonalized users unite [Re: deCypher]
    #18769924 - 08/28/13 06:59 PM (10 years, 5 months ago)

Quote:

deCypher said:
I would recommend quitting marijuana to anyone who is currently suffering from DP/DR or HPPD, as it tends to exacerbate the symptoms.





IME, even high doses of coffee.......


--------------------
My purpose: to love, to share, and to experience....all while conforming to my psychedelic experiences.



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Invisiblephilopian_tube

Registered: 08/24/13
Posts: 443
Re: depersonalized users unite [Re: deCypher]
    #18770341 - 08/28/13 08:24 PM (10 years, 5 months ago)

Quote:

deCypher said:
I would recommend quitting marijuana to anyone who is currently suffering from DP/DR or HPPD, as it tends to exacerbate the symptoms.




Agreed.

I've smoked marijuana on a few occasions in a DP/DR state, and I must say that the high amplified tenfold. And I mean in a negative mindset/panic attack kind of way.


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OfflinePsychotria
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Re: depersonalized users unite [Re: philopian_tube]
    #18770503 - 08/28/13 08:54 PM (10 years, 5 months ago)

At the moment i am in my HPPD phase and i am a chronic smoker, for me it doesn't give me any panic attacks from weed, it feels as if weed only strenghtens my HPPD visuals a little more, Also sleeping changes my HPPD. Less sleep strengthens my HPPD, like someone stated here(being healthy) It deffinetely weakens the HPPD well for me. Being healthy means A set Sleeping pattern, a set Eating pattern and exercise!


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Offlineusulpsychonaut
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Re: depersonalized users unite [Re: safe-mind]
    #18771577 - 08/29/13 01:39 AM (10 years, 5 months ago)

I've never thought of this word depersonalisation. I certainly get disconnected from the world and dreamy, just sit around not able to focus on anything.


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InvisibleTheShroomingAtheis
He's gone....


Registered: 12/31/11
Posts: 2,734
Re: depersonalized users unite [Re: usulpsychonaut]
    #18771630 - 08/29/13 02:17 AM (10 years, 5 months ago)

I have learned to enjoy dp whenever it comes around....


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You gotta face the music!


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InvisibleSatanschild
goodbye

Registered: 01/16/13
Posts: 281
Re: depersonalized users unite [Re: TheShroomingAtheis]
    #18772560 - 08/29/13 11:01 AM (10 years, 5 months ago)

Try looking in a mirror when you are depersonalized.


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Invisiblephilopian_tube

Registered: 08/24/13
Posts: 443
Re: depersonalized users unite [Re: Satanschild]
    #18772578 - 08/29/13 11:06 AM (10 years, 5 months ago)

Quote:

Satanschild said:
Try looking in a mirror when you are depersonalized.




Who is that?!

:wtfsonic:


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