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Anonymous #1

Girl is married and is dating me?
    #18761443 - 08/26/13 09:06 PM (10 years, 5 months ago)

TLDR? Go to the bottom.

She is 26 and has been married for 5 years. She says she has been "locked up" for 4 years meaning she has been watched over and controlled. She said the entire marriage idea was a bad idea and should have never happened. They have seen a marriage counselor and she is now on anti-depressants. I can believe this because she simply does not care about a lot(or most) things. This girl basically says how any love that was, is no more and that she is just waiting for a divorce and she just got a new job to fix this which i know is true(job part). She says she has not had sex with her husband for over 3 months. She has told me that she has had a boyfriend right before me. I am thinking over her failed marriage that she has had a boyfriend or more. She has been pretty honest about all this. She has had at least a boyfriend or two during her marriage.

Now she is the only one who pushed me getting her number after we had a class together but we have been hooking up ever since. She has now recently pushed dating. So we are now dating.

I have been down this fucking road with A Jehovah witness. 2 years of dating with one year of living together and barely any of her side knew we were anything. COMPLETE SECRECY


This new girl, she does not want me to tell anyone of us. She says she their are too many people that know her at my school(same school we both went to but that was certification of a small program and im actually in a degree program).(she does not go there anymore, so wtf)?

I told her I have not told anyone and plan on not telling anyone including my closest friends.

Why? because I dont want them knowing how fail my situation is that I am  dating a girl who is living with another guy. The same girl does not want anyone knowing and is completely cool with it. Even after I told her I would NEVER tell even my closest friends about her.

Only thing I can understand of how this is playing out is sex. Yea. Sex. I do some nasty things to her and she is constantly talking about sex to me. Almost non stop. :aweman:


Give a word? two words? or nothing. . . I just want some advice. It would be nice. I have tried to give as much details as possible without turning this into a book. Ill give more if need be.

TLDR girl wants me but has a marriage and a need for secrecy, girl says she is the worst relationship i will ever have and the worse person i will ever meet. kinky bitch.


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Offlinedakotaellis166
Stranger
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Registered: 04/30/13
Posts: 208
Last seen: 9 years, 5 months
Re: Girl is married and is dating me? [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #18761461 - 08/26/13 09:11 PM (10 years, 5 months ago)

Give her the dick man (wear a rubber) but yeah she obviously needs a nice fuck. Seems like a good problem to have dude.


--------------------
i don't always give a fuck,
but when i do. . . i actually don't.


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Anonymous #1

Re: Girl is married and is dating me? [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #18761488 - 08/26/13 09:18 PM (10 years, 5 months ago)

We had a certification program at campus. This was over the summer. She went on to get that job. I went on to not only further that job priority but i entered into an actual degree program that will pay off heavily.

This is not the biggest city but it is not a small town. She says she knows people over at this campus which is the smallest campus of the community college.

I am willing to ask her if she can name ONE person in my degree program. There are only about 18 if that.

If she cannot event name one? IDK. I really am not sure.

She is slightly crazy meaning not Vanilla flavor but I am so attracted to that. I love the crazy aspect.

I guess ill keep doing what I did from that start. Ill never mention her name or even that I have a girl friend. If she cares more about people NOT knowing about us, then I do not give a fuck about other people knowing about us. I have not told anyone were dating and I guess I never will. Just waiting for our train wreck that she gave as 3 months to come crashing down. I will not give her any real emotions or feelings when this comes crashing down. I am in it for a good laugh and some sex.


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Anonymous #1

Re: Girl is married and is dating me? [Re: dakotaellis166]
    #18761496 - 08/26/13 09:19 PM (10 years, 5 months ago)

Quote:

dakotaellis166 said:
Give her the dick man (wear a rubber) but yeah she obviously needs a nice fuck. Seems like a good problem to have dude.





Ive been doing that for over a month now. Every time we get together we have sex 2-3 within each hour.


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Anonymous #1

Re: Girl is married and is dating me? [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #18761513 - 08/26/13 09:25 PM (10 years, 5 months ago)

This girl initiated a relationship after a month of hooking up. I never once suggested a relationship. This girl likes to get slapped, choked, and put in place. She says she like zero attachment yet made a "dating" relationship happen. I brought that up with her and she didnt know why.


She said she hates everything about me yet keeps coming back. Her past boyfriends said that drugs make people stupid and not care about anyone else including themselves. She herself has never really done anything but drank alcohol. She has a phobia of drugs yet here I am doing shit in front of her and am going to dose her ass real soon and she knows it.

I think she just likes the sense of NO CONTROL.


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Offlinebalanced
Hakuna Matata
Male


Registered: 05/16/11
Posts: 56
Last seen: 8 years, 11 months
Re: Girl is married and is dating me? [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #18761602 - 08/26/13 09:45 PM (10 years, 5 months ago)

Quote:

Anonymous said:
I think she just likes the sense of NO CONTROL.




Sounds like that sums her up pretty well. She's in a marriage she feels she can't control, likes to be controlled in sex - yet, wait. She's exerting her control in her marriage by dating outside of it, and not telling her husband. Who's in control of her secrets? Her. She likes to be controlled in sex - yet who's allowing you control of her? Her. She controls how often you get to control her.

So does she love no control? Or is she so stifled by feeling controlled, that she needs to control someone else? Are her feelings of being controlled justified, or are they mentally created?

Maybe I'm just reaching here. It's just what I thought.


--------------------
If I have seen a little further,
it is by standing on the shoulders of giants.


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Anonymous #1

Re: Girl is married and is dating me? [Re: balanced]
    #18763163 - 08/27/13 10:06 AM (10 years, 5 months ago)

I really appreciate your input on the situation. Thank You. :sun:

I do not understand how she can tell me how much she hates that guys try to control her and come up with new rules once being in a relationship, yet since we have started a relationship, she has already been coming up with rules and talking about keeping it on the hush hush.She is sounding very hypocritical.

The relationship also makes me feel like i'm back in middle school. I cant text her at night, we can only hang out when she is available and comes up with an "excuse" for her husband in order for us to hang out. It feels really immature in the sense of her availability. However It has been like this since the beginning and I will not pressure her or guilt trip her because I would be the immature one.


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Invisiblepwnasaurus
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Registered: 07/16/08
Posts: 12,317
Loc: Canada Flag
Re: Girl is married and is dating me? [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #18763209 - 08/27/13 10:21 AM (10 years, 5 months ago)

Of course it's immature - she's cheating on her husband with you behind his back.  It doesn't get much more immature than that.


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Anonymous #1

Re: Girl is married and is dating me? [Re: pwnasaurus]
    #18763234 - 08/27/13 10:28 AM (10 years, 5 months ago)

That is a pretty blunt and obvious way to put it. So I guess I have already accepted the fact that she is immature. I suppose I should not be complaining about her immaturity then. Thank you for that.


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OfflineTheWiz
Happy Little Shroom
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Registered: 11/21/11
Posts: 191
Loc: Southern IL
Last seen: 3 years, 4 months
Re: Girl is married and is dating me? [Re: pwnasaurus]
    #18763281 - 08/27/13 10:38 AM (10 years, 5 months ago)

Sounds like a lot of trouble.  The more you allow yourself to be swayed by her, the more she's going to push for it.  She might not be taking a ton of your time yet, but it sounds like that's what she's gunning for.  You'll start lying about your whereabouts to your friends and family, who might not figure out the situation completely, but absolutely will notice this new distance between them and you.  They'll start feeling ignored and dropping like flies right about the time you're getting tired of the sex with this girl.  Then you'll hate her for having controlled you.


--------------------
I'd hit it.


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Anonymous #1

Re: Girl is married and is dating me? [Re: TheWiz]
    #18764200 - 08/27/13 02:29 PM (10 years, 5 months ago)

Your words worry me. She does say she will be the worst person and relationship I will ever have. I think that I simply do not give a fuck but yet here I am.

My friends and family are of no worries since we hang out randomly anyways and I only see this girl once or twice  a week.


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InvisibleI R Crankey
bang bang choo choo
Male

Registered: 01/03/10
Posts: 2,005
Re: Girl is married and is dating me? [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #18764303 - 08/27/13 02:53 PM (10 years, 5 months ago)

"kinky bitch" haha lucky you.

but it's a really shitty thing to fuck some dudes wife


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OfflineTheWiz
Happy Little Shroom
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Registered: 11/21/11
Posts: 191
Loc: Southern IL
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Re: Girl is married and is dating me? [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #18764591 - 08/27/13 03:50 PM (10 years, 5 months ago)

Quote:

Anonymous said:
Your words worry me. She does say she will be the worst person and relationship I will ever have. I think that I simply do not give a fuck but yet here I am.

My friends and family are of no worries since we hang out randomly anyways and I only see this girl once or twice  a week.



The longer this continues, the more of that time she's going to want, the more she's going to force you to choose between her, and the rest of your life.  Mark my words.


--------------------
I'd hit it.


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Anonymous #1

Re: Girl is married and is dating me? [Re: TheWiz]
    #18765197 - 08/27/13 06:15 PM (10 years, 5 months ago)

Shit hit the fan today. She stopped over for a quick fix or whatever. Had to go right home.

We planned on hanging out this Wednesday and her spending the night and hanging out Thursday from when I got home from school. She tells me from that short (maybe 15 min stop over) that she got into trouble and can no longer come over Wednesday night but can hang out Thursday.

Besides that, I was messing with her and told her I found out something about her that I found was funny. (after she left)

Truth is I for the first time actually looked up her Facebook page after knowing her for months. Her FB was private but I saw a few pics.

After delaying what I was going to tell her and just simply messing with her, she says, "Whatever, Ill be over Thursday to pick up my shit" (she forgot a knee brace).

So we kind of fight back and forth and I now , JUST NOW realize that this is not going to work. This girl, even if she is older then me, has absolutely nothing going for her and has all sorts of rules that keep me on the hush hush and I am basically the back burner.

Even if she is telling the truth about her marriage. Why does she not get the fuck over it? Move on? Stop giving a shit what her husband thinks? If she is that quick minded to just toss me to the side, then why the fuck am I even doing this?


DAMNIT, now she is saying she can lose alot. Maybe her husband is paying all the bills? Fucking shit is driving me whack. BTW I am 26 and have been there and done that in my younger days.

Again, thank you for all the advice and opinions(those mean a lot).


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InvisibleFruitOfLife
Professional Package Handler


Registered: 05/21/12
Posts: 4,832
Re: Girl is married and is dating me? [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #18765260 - 08/27/13 06:33 PM (10 years, 5 months ago)

In my opinion you are a fuckin asshole. I may be part of a small minority of men that think this but if you know someone is married then you should stay away. How would you feel if this was your wife/gf fucking someone behind your back?

If you didnt know she was married and were fucking her thats one thing, but if you knew or just found out you should break all relations with her ASAP. Otherwise you're a piece of shit


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Anonymous #1

Re: Girl is married and is dating me? [Re: FruitOfLife]
    #18765378 - 08/27/13 07:01 PM (10 years, 5 months ago)

Am I piece of shit? What is marriage? A contract right? A legal document?

I do not know the husband. I do not care about him what so ever.

If she is real about them pretty much being separated but living together, what does it matter?


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InvisibleFruitOfLife
Professional Package Handler


Registered: 05/21/12
Posts: 4,832
Re: Girl is married and is dating me? [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #18765404 - 08/27/13 07:10 PM (10 years, 5 months ago)

Quote:

Anonymous said:
Am I piece of shit? What is marriage? A contract right? A legal document?

I do not know the husband. I do not care about him what so ever.

If she is real about them pretty much being separated but living together, what does it matter?



Again, I may be one of few men who sees it this way, but this is my opinion. If you know someone is a relationship then you should not get involved with them. I guess I see it as a respect issue. Even though you dont know the guy she is in a relationship with, he deserves the respect.

If you want to keep seeing her I would suggest you man up, stop being a pussy, and tell her HUSBAND that you are fucking his WIFE behind his back. Only after he knows about this and doesnt care, then I would retract my statement that you are a piece of shit, even though you are a piece of shit for fucking her in the first place  :smile:


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Anonymous #1

Re: Girl is married and is dating me? [Re: FruitOfLife]
    #18765611 - 08/27/13 08:02 PM (10 years, 5 months ago)

Thanks for your opinion Drew :aweman:


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Offlinebalanced
Hakuna Matata
Male


Registered: 05/16/11
Posts: 56
Last seen: 8 years, 11 months
Re: Girl is married and is dating me? [Re: FruitOfLife]
    #18765612 - 08/27/13 08:02 PM (10 years, 5 months ago)

Quote:

Drewsifer69 said:
Quote:

Anonymous said:
Am I piece of shit? What is marriage? A contract right? A legal document?

I do not know the husband. I do not care about him what so ever.

If she is real about them pretty much being separated but living together, what does it matter?



Again, I may be one of few men who sees it this way, but this is my opinion. If you know someone is a relationship then you should not get involved with them. I guess I see it as a respect issue. Even though you dont know the guy she is in a relationship with, he deserves the respect.

If you want to keep seeing her I would suggest you man up, stop being a pussy, and tell her HUSBAND that you are fucking his WIFE behind his back. Only after he knows about this and doesnt care, then I would retract my statement that you are a piece of shit, even though you are a piece of shit for fucking her in the first place  :smile:




How would it be respectful to tell the husband? Regardless of how anyone else feels about it, it would be just as disrespectful to the woman to go behind her back and tell him, as it is that OP is fucking her behind her husband's back.

She'd never allow OP to tell her husband, so he'd have to go behind her back to do it. If anyone tells her husband, it should be her.


--------------------
If I have seen a little further,
it is by standing on the shoulders of giants.


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Anonymous #2

Re: Girl is married and is dating me? [Re: balanced]
    #18767422 - 08/28/13 07:30 AM (10 years, 5 months ago)

sounds like a similar situation i was back in march and i abruptly ended shortly after :gameover:

sex is cool but not from someone mentally fucked up at who just turned 31


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InvisibleFruitOfLife
Professional Package Handler


Registered: 05/21/12
Posts: 4,832
Re: Girl is married and is dating me? [Re: balanced]
    #18767442 - 08/28/13 07:39 AM (10 years, 5 months ago)

How is it in any way disrespectful to tell some sluts husband that she is cheating on him? Its her own fault she cant close her legs and the husband has the right to know no matter who tells him.


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Anonymous #1

Re: Girl is married and is dating me? [Re: FruitOfLife]
    #23985127 - 01/05/17 08:43 PM (7 years, 24 days ago)

3 years. THREE YEARS since I posted this thread. She ended up moving out right to an apartment with her daughter 2 mins away from me. I stayed over at her place almost every night for over about a year and a half. She did get divorced. Her daughter's father is not much of a father at all.


We broke up may of 2015. So we dated a little over a year and a half. In that time she yelled at me almost every night. Many times she accused me of cheating which never happened. Not even close honestly. Maybe she had some weird thought process because of how easily she cheated on her ex husband.

We got into a huge argument when I was trying to study for my board exams. She said I was not paying her enough attention. I probably was not but she wanted a family and how can I support such a thing while I was living with my mother? I needed to pass those exams. At the time she met me, I was in my medical program. Anyways she figured it was ok for us to end during that time.

Eventually she moved to Florida for RN school. She never even got into a program due to whatever excuse she could give me. This is over a 1.5 years later since we broke up and we still talk on and off. I tried to continue and push a relationship with her. I mentioned wanting to finally marry and even have kids a month ago. I am now living on my own and can support myself. I am 29 now. Fully capable of things I never knew I was capable of before.

She has come here a few times since she moved and usually stayed for a week. She only made one day for me while spending the rest of her time with her friends. I explained that it bothered me and yet each time she barely makes any time for me.

I was raised by a loving, caring family. A family that puts efforts into me. A family that does not give up on loved ones. She was practically disowned by her family, doesnt even talk to her mom. She does not know any better. She does not know the love that i know and that I was raised by. She has learned that it is ok to disown family and that no one is really there for you.

She came here this past week and stayed over only one night out of a week. She chose to go out with friends on NYE instead of me.

I am confused, angry, and hurt. I have not visited her so I feel like part of this is my fault. Relationships are a two way street.

I finally confessed my love for one last time. I told her about how I love. I told her unlike the people she has been used to in her life, I am different. I am the type of person to stay with it and get through the hard times. Even after over a year of not being together, I told her I am headstrong and will go the distance if need be. She said if she is such a bad person, maybe I shouldn't know her anymore.

I also told her if she does not want anything to do with me anymore, I will let her be. I have spent so much time and thought on us. Its been 3 days and I do not think she will ever contact me again.

I thought I loved someone before but nothing has compared to this.
I am 29 this month. If I ever had a chance of having a family, that might of been it. Poof. its gone. If she only had a little patience. I was not ready when she was. This is not a good feeling. It is like losing a family member.


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OfflineChakra Shock
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Registered: 02/22/13
Posts: 2,514
Loc: The Enterprise
Last seen: 3 years, 8 months
Re: Girl is married and is dating me? [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #23985305 - 01/05/17 09:54 PM (7 years, 24 days ago)

You're 29, not 69. You will have plenty of chances for a family.

You told her that you love her and wanted to spend more time with her and she said 'get rid of me if i'm such a bad person'.

She's just manipulating you, trying to make you feel guilty for her own insecurities instead of commiserating and trying to find positive solutions to problems which require both of you to work together. Your feelings are valid, man. You just told her you had a problem, and she tried to make you feel like shit for it... :wtf: obvious manipulation.

You're right that relationships are two way streets, but if someone can only try and bring you down instead of listening to you and showing you that they really care... well then all they're doing is putting up a roadblock.

I don't know if she's worth it, only you can decide that, but recognize that there's no guarantee that she will ever change and learn how to be truly caring.


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Invisiblesudly
Darwin's stagger


Registered: 01/05/15
Posts: 10,804
Re: Girl is married and is dating me? [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #23985419 - 01/05/17 10:46 PM (7 years, 24 days ago)

If she cheats with you she probably cheated on you.

No surprised there.


--------------------
I am whatever Darwin needs me to be.



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Offlinejakefake
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Re: Girl is married and is dating me? [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #23985437 - 01/05/17 10:56 PM (7 years, 24 days ago)

Drop her like a stone and move on.


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Offlinetamales
Miranda
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Posts: 135
Loc: Ireland Flag
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Re: Girl is married and is dating me? [Re: FruitOfLife]
    #24000512 - 01/11/17 08:48 AM (7 years, 19 days ago)

Quote:

FruitOfLife said:
In my opinion you are a fuckin asshole. I may be part of a small minority of men that think this but if you know someone is married then you should stay away. How would you feel if this was your wife/gf fucking someone behind your back?

If you didnt know she was married and were fucking her thats one thing, but if you knew or just found out you should break all relations with her ASAP. Otherwise you're a piece of shit




I agree. Not only that, but you knew she was trouble yet still meddled in trouble, only now to be very troubled for having troubles.

Why are you so bothered by the ending of a casual relationship? I mean, she cheats while married so it is quite possible she could do the same to you if ever in a monogamous relationship.

The ball is in your court. Do you love yourself enough to build healthier sexual relationships or would you prefer to keep up with the drama of a cheating woman indecisive of her feelings towards her husband, where you'll probably never be more than on the back burner? Do you have a history of being in unloving relationships?

I wish you luck either way.

Ahem, I need over fifteen more posts before I post in certain forum topics so yes, I'm looking through the relationship forum to comment.


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InvisibleCookieCrumbsM
Fucked off to the pub
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Registered: 12/10/11
Posts: 14,146
Re: Girl is married and is dating me? [Re: tamales]
    #24000883 - 01/11/17 11:25 AM (7 years, 18 days ago)

Never date a married person and never date a recently divorced person. Being a rebound is always always always bad grounds to start a relationship on.

I'm sorry I didn't tell you 3 years ago, but then I doubt you'd listen.


Either way I'm glad you're not stuck with a toxic person OP. Learn from it and consider this a fresh start for yourself, a chance to set up something that will make you happy as you get closer to that 69 Chakra Shock mentioned. Good luck :hug:


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          :dancingbear: Free time is the only time :dancingbear:                    :thatsinteresting:


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InvisibleCookieCrumbsM
Fucked off to the pub
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Registered: 12/10/11
Posts: 14,146
Re: Girl is married and is dating me? [Re: CookieCrumbs]
    #24000894 - 01/11/17 11:30 AM (7 years, 18 days ago)

Kinda annoyed at the "hit it" advice you got. :undecided: a one and done is one thing but not only was this failed relationship a likely risk you would have risked your own personal safety too by fooling around with another man's wife.


--------------------
          :dancingbear: Free time is the only time :dancingbear:                    :thatsinteresting:


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Anonymous #1

Re: Girl is married and is dating me? [Re: CookieCrumbs] * 1
    #24007983 - 01/13/17 06:32 PM (7 years, 16 days ago)

Thankyou for reading and responding everyone. I loved this girl. Such fail this was. She was such a bad person which made me strive to try even harder with her. It is so stupid. She never even respected me really which is shit. No idea why I stayed around so long.

I am done though, I am on top of my game, in good health, with a good job and have a good happy personality about myself. She is in the complete opposite situation and I have a feeling she lost way more by not having me then the other way around. I did not end it negatively. I could have said allot of bad things which would have honestly been objective truths and not even exaggerations. I felt like that was childish though. I wont play her game.

Oh well. Life goes on right? Fuck. I think I deserve better.


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