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InvisibleSheekle
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post cool real life short stories in this thread * 1
    #18756932 - 08/25/13 08:37 PM (10 years, 5 months ago)

stories about anything at all, real life events that happened to you. things that are cool but not necessarily worth making a thread about

i'll type up some in a little


--------------------
"Ur cat died because he hated u" - Koods
"I hope JSB kicks your ass one day." - Vandago
"you are the biggest 'internet guy' I have ever come across"- Jokeshopbeard
"The more I see you post the more I realize you're just this fuckin tie dye loser who trolls the Shroomery 24/7." - Herbologist
"Sheekle you cannot vile the dice of bullshit you have posted on this forum over the years, I like databases" - thelastoneleft
"or maybe i just come from a blood line of superior intelligence" - trees

R.I.P Kelsy, ?/?/?? - 6/11/16


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Offlineakira_akuma
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Re: post cool real life short stories in this thread [Re: Sheekle]
    #18756957 - 08/25/13 08:42 PM (10 years, 5 months ago)

i once had a block of ice thrown in my face by a little girl younger then me by twice my age, and then i chased around the school grounds because i wanted to kill her, but i kinda was just raging at her like some sort of monster, so it's kinda funny when i think about it.


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OfflineScarab74
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Re: post cool real life short stories in this thread [Re: Sheekle]
    #18756961 - 08/25/13 08:43 PM (10 years, 5 months ago)

In seventh grade, my family was walking along a beach, and I discovered most of a human torso skeleton half buried in the sand.

True story.


--------------------
~Scarab74
We are such stuff as dreams are made of.
                W. Shakespeare - The Tempest


Edited by Scarab74 (08/25/13 09:02 PM)


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InvisibleSheekle
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Re: post cool real life short stories in this thread [Re: Scarab74]
    #18756970 - 08/25/13 08:45 PM (10 years, 5 months ago)

Quote:

Scarab74 said:
In seventh grade, my family was walking along a beach on Sanibel Island, and I discovered most of a human torso skeleton half buried in the sand.

True story.



what became of that


--------------------
"Ur cat died because he hated u" - Koods
"I hope JSB kicks your ass one day." - Vandago
"you are the biggest 'internet guy' I have ever come across"- Jokeshopbeard
"The more I see you post the more I realize you're just this fuckin tie dye loser who trolls the Shroomery 24/7." - Herbologist
"Sheekle you cannot vile the dice of bullshit you have posted on this forum over the years, I like databases" - thelastoneleft
"or maybe i just come from a blood line of superior intelligence" - trees

R.I.P Kelsy, ?/?/?? - 6/11/16


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Offlinefapjack
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Re: post cool real life short stories in this thread [Re: Scarab74] * 7
    #18756978 - 08/25/13 08:46 PM (10 years, 5 months ago)

I once had a transsexual over my parents house at like 6 AM, he (dad) assumed it was a chick I was hooking up with before seeing shim he could here us hooking up.  Walked out with a 5 o'clock shadow and my dad looked at me with this horrified look, told me not to come back to his house whenever he isn't there.


--------------------


Edited by fapjack (08/25/13 09:17 PM)


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OfflineScarab74
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Re: post cool real life short stories in this thread [Re: Sheekle]
    #18757003 - 08/25/13 08:51 PM (10 years, 5 months ago)

Quote:

Sheekle said:
Quote:

Scarab74 said:
In seventh grade, my family was walking along a beach, and I discovered most of a human torso skeleton half buried in the sand.

True story.



what became of that




My mom, a Nurse, identified the bones as human.  I put the bones in a trash bag and took them to school the following Monday to show to a science teacher/mentor in the high school (I went to private K-12 school), thinking I would score brownie points with human bones.  Instead, I soon found myself without a mentor and without human bones to look at or construct a mobile with.  :sad:


--------------------
~Scarab74
We are such stuff as dreams are made of.
                W. Shakespeare - The Tempest


Edited by Scarab74 (08/25/13 09:03 PM)


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InvisibleSheekle
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Re: post cool real life short stories in this thread [Re: Scarab74]
    #18757064 - 08/25/13 09:02 PM (10 years, 5 months ago)

One time in High School I was smoking a hookah in one of my friend's basements. He squirted water at me and so obviously my reaction was to violently flail my arm that was holding the hookah hose.

We were picking up the coals on the ground and I noticed one piece had burnt a hole into his bed. I knew he would be pissed if he found out so I just put a blanket over the hole as a temporary fix so he wouldn't see it. We got the rest of the coals picked up off the ground, as I reassured him that what we found was all there is.

About twenty minutes later he noticed the smoke pouring up from underneath the blanket on his bed and saw the giant gaping hole burnt into it. :haha:


--------------------
"Ur cat died because he hated u" - Koods
"I hope JSB kicks your ass one day." - Vandago
"you are the biggest 'internet guy' I have ever come across"- Jokeshopbeard
"The more I see you post the more I realize you're just this fuckin tie dye loser who trolls the Shroomery 24/7." - Herbologist
"Sheekle you cannot vile the dice of bullshit you have posted on this forum over the years, I like databases" - thelastoneleft
"or maybe i just come from a blood line of superior intelligence" - trees

R.I.P Kelsy, ?/?/?? - 6/11/16


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OfflineAbsent Minded
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Re: post cool real life short stories in this thread [Re: Scarab74]
    #18757098 - 08/25/13 09:08 PM (10 years, 5 months ago)

I allegedly ran this girl's leg over on my bike when I was a lot younger. Found this out after we had been chatting for a while and flirting. This was like 5 years ago that she dropped this bomb on me. Apparently she was in my neighborhood, I teamed up with her brother and we were messing with her, and I ran her leg over. I have no recollection of the event so I think it's a lie.


--------------------


Beats
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sheekle: fuck peace love and unity
sheekle: death despair and misery
sheekle: is where it's at


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OfflineAbsent Minded
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Re: post cool real life short stories in this thread [Re: Sheekle]
    #18757104 - 08/25/13 09:09 PM (10 years, 5 months ago)

Quote:

Sheekle said:
One time in High School I was smoking a hookah in one of my friend's basements. He squirted water at me and so obviously my reaction was to violently flail my arm that was holding the hookah hose.

We were picking up the coals on the ground and I noticed one piece had burnt a hole into his bed. I knew he would be pissed if he found out so I just put a blanket over the hole as a temporary fix so he wouldn't see it. We got the rest of the coals picked up off the ground, as I reassured him that what we found was all there is.

About twenty minutes later he noticed the smoke pouring up from underneath the blanket on his bed and saw the giant gaping hole burnt into it. :haha:



on a related tip, I once put numerous sizable burn holes ion the back seat of a kid's car when smoking a blunt. I remember that like it was yesterday.


--------------------


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sheekle: fuck peace love and unity
sheekle: death despair and misery
sheekle: is where it's at


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InvisibleDoctor Sponge
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Re: post cool real life short stories in this thread [Re: Sheekle]
    #18757112 - 08/25/13 09:12 PM (10 years, 5 months ago)

Quote:

Sheekle said:
One time in High School I was smoking a hookah in one of my friend's basements. He squirted water at me and so obviously my reaction was to violently flail my arm that was holding the hookah hose.

We were picking up the coals on the ground and I noticed one piece had burnt a hole into his bed. I knew he would be pissed if he found out so I just put a blanket over the hole as a temporary fix so he wouldn't see it. We got the rest of the coals picked up off the ground, as I reassured him that what we found was all there is.

About twenty minutes later he noticed the smoke pouring up from underneath the blanket on his bed and saw the giant gaping hole burnt into it. :haha:



:lol:good one sheekle:lol:


--------------------


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InvisibleEternalCowabunga
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Re: post cool real life short stories in this thread [Re: Doctor Sponge]
    #18757135 - 08/25/13 09:16 PM (10 years, 5 months ago)

One time I thought I was dying on shrooms, but I really just had an inner ear infection - lost all balance, I was walking in circles and falling about till morning. My buddy was alseep, but I chose not to wake him.

I don't remember anything leading up to it, just the memory that I was up all night thinking I was dying.


--------------------


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Invisiblerackem
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Re: post cool real life short stories in this thread [Re: Doctor Sponge]
    #18757136 - 08/25/13 09:17 PM (10 years, 5 months ago)

i was riding my bike when i was younger.. checking out hot chick, hit a parked car... damaged the windscreen.

fucked myself up pretty damn good


--------------------


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Invisiblefee
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Re: post cool real life short stories in this thread [Re: rackem] * 1
    #18757147 - 08/25/13 09:18 PM (10 years, 5 months ago)

"Windscreen"

Silly foreigners


--------------------

blankk said to fee:
btw you're a total fucking psychedelic pimp
Turtletotem said:
I want to become a sun worshipper, so next time an atheist smugly asks me where god is, I can point smugly at the sun and laugh my ass off.

Then I drive away in my solar powered piece of shit car, cool stuff man.

And then I go kill a bitch because the flaming orb in the sky told me to do so, and I don't know, oppress a few minorities here and there in the name of nuclear fusion?

Religion is fun.


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Offlinedruqs
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Re: post cool real life short stories in this thread [Re: EternalCowabunga]
    #18757148 - 08/25/13 09:18 PM (10 years, 5 months ago)

thixs one time i was totally in with this babe at this bar and i just walked away, didn't even look back at the panty explozem.


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Offlineakira_akuma
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Re: post cool real life short stories in this thread [Re: EternalCowabunga]
    #18757161 - 08/25/13 09:20 PM (10 years, 5 months ago)

Quote:

EternalCowabunga said:
One time I thought I was dying on shrooms, but I really just had an inner ear infection - lost all balance, I was walking in circles and falling about till morning. My buddy was alseep, but I chose not to wake him.

I don't remember anything leading up to it, just the memory that I was up all night thinking I was dying.



what retardedly bad timing for an ear infection. :lol: sorry that had to happen, man.


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InvisibleSheekle
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Re: post cool real life short stories in this thread [Re: Absent Minded]
    #18757177 - 08/25/13 09:23 PM (10 years, 5 months ago)

Once I was in the woods near a little lake thing that a bunch of people were swimming in. About 200 feet away there's a pair of sweatpants draped over a tree branch.

I was with some kid who decided to be a dick and light the pants on fire. I should have just punched him in the face or otherwise done something to stop him from lighting them because just telling him not too and telling him it was fucked up didn't work. But in a few seconds he had one of the legs flaming.

I took the sweatpants off the branch once they were lit good because blowing on it didn't help and dipped the part that was on fire into a different nearby river to stop them from burning. I also noticed that I could feel money and shit in the pockets when I was putting them back on the branch so obviously it was one of the kids who was swimming's pants. I obviously didn't tell the dick who lit them that there was shit in the pockets until after we had left, because I didn't want him to get the idea to steal whatever it was. (I DEFINATLY wouldn't have let him get away with that shit though).

Like 1/4 of one of the pant legs was burnt to shit, like not worth wearing anymore. At least I stopped the fire from progressing to the point of destroying whatever valuables were in the pocket. So one of the dudes who was swimming was gonna come back and find his sweatpants were permanently ruined.

I felt pretty bad for whoever it was, I really probably should have done more to stop the asshole I was with from lighting them. But whatever, it's just a pair of sweatpants. Not too huge of a loss I guess.

Ruined my mood for a little while after. People can be real jerks for seemingly no reason sometimes.


--------------------
"Ur cat died because he hated u" - Koods
"I hope JSB kicks your ass one day." - Vandago
"you are the biggest 'internet guy' I have ever come across"- Jokeshopbeard
"The more I see you post the more I realize you're just this fuckin tie dye loser who trolls the Shroomery 24/7." - Herbologist
"Sheekle you cannot vile the dice of bullshit you have posted on this forum over the years, I like databases" - thelastoneleft
"or maybe i just come from a blood line of superior intelligence" - trees

R.I.P Kelsy, ?/?/?? - 6/11/16


Edited by Sheekle (08/25/13 09:24 PM)


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OfflineAbsent Minded
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Re: post cool real life short stories in this thread [Re: druqs] * 2
    #18757180 - 08/25/13 09:23 PM (10 years, 5 months ago)

I didn't personally do this but was with my friend when he did - to set the scene we're both real high and in town gettin some grub, he decides he needs ice cream. order the ice cream, gets it, starts eating it, gets about a quarter of the way through and realizes it's the wrong flavor. Stares at me, asks what to do, all the while still eating the ice cream. Gets back on the line, still eating it, explains the problem to the girl, while eating it, and asks for the other flavor. Ate half of it at this point. Girl happily obliged and found nothing wrong with the scenario, I was quite shocked


--------------------


Beats
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sheekle: fuck peace love and unity
sheekle: death despair and misery
sheekle: is where it's at


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Offlinemorrowasted
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Re: post cool real life short stories in this thread [Re: Absent Minded]
    #18757195 - 08/25/13 09:25 PM (10 years, 5 months ago)

I got a DUI while sober. Got pulled over with 8 xanax in my pocket. Car smelled like weed so I thought I oughta pop em in case he searched me. They were the yellow ones. Well, I had out-of-state plates, which it took him like 25 minutes to finally get results back on, and by the time he did I was practically unconscious. He said he was just about to let me go too.


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OfflineAbsent Minded
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Re: post cool real life short stories in this thread [Re: morrowasted]
    #18757208 - 08/25/13 09:27 PM (10 years, 5 months ago)

what strength are the yellow ones?
that's beat street my man.


--------------------


Beats
More Beats

sheekle: fuck peace love and unity
sheekle: death despair and misery
sheekle: is where it's at


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Offlinedruqs
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Re: post cool real life short stories in this thread [Re: Absent Minded] * 1
    #18757217 - 08/25/13 09:29 PM (10 years, 5 months ago)

i sprayed a tramp with a fire extinguisher then threw it in the sea.


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Offlinewatermelon mon
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Re: post cool real life short stories in this thread [Re: Absent Minded]
    #18757224 - 08/25/13 09:30 PM (10 years, 5 months ago)

one time my friend and I were walking around in this one forest and we found a abandoned jet ski  I wonder how it got there :crazy:
the brush was pretty thick  the trees were tall and stuff it would have ben hard work putting it there even in the winter


--------------------
    :dazedandconfused:


Edited by watermelon mon (08/25/13 09:30 PM)


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OfflineLed Zeppelin
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Re: post cool real life short stories in this thread [Re: fapjack]
    #18757231 - 08/25/13 09:30 PM (10 years, 5 months ago)

Quote:

fapjack said:
I once had a transsexual over my parents house at like 6 AM, he (dad) assumed it was a chick I was hooking up with before seeing shim he could here us hooking up.  Walked out with a 5 o'clock shadow and my dad looked at me with this horrified look, told me not to come back to his house whenever he isn't there.




wow, I feel bad for your dad.


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Invisiblethizzlemaniac
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Re: post cool real life short stories in this thread [Re: Sheekle]
    #18757286 - 08/25/13 09:40 PM (10 years, 5 months ago)

Nobody ever believes this story so I really don't tell it anymore, but it's true...

Once I was drunk with a bud who came up to visit me and detox from opiates on his moms orders and we were smoking spice cuz thats all that was up here at the time. (I didn't know any dealers at all)  So we are going to the store to get more spice and I have like NO gas, and we run out a couple blocks away from my home.  A cop sees us and turns around, but only after I did realizing I was about to run outta gas.  It was the only time in my life I've ever run outta gas.  Anyway the cop was very friendly and gave me a ride home to get a gas can!  I was pretty fucked up to, and when I arrived home in a police car my lady came to the door and asked me wtf I did now.  She also said I wreaked of booze and we were outside.  While in the cop car I talked to him, but didn't face him cuz I knew my breath had alcohol on it, but I don't think he was that dumb, but how can any cop be that nice?  Letting me drive drunk isn't really nice I guess.  This story usually stays between my friend and I.  He stayed behind with the car while I was at home.  I chilled out there a bit cuz I thought I was going to have a heart attack and by the time I was heading back he was almost home.


--------------------
Hi how are you? How high are you?



:aum:


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Offlinefapjack
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Re: post cool real life short stories in this thread [Re: thizzlemaniac]
    #18757301 - 08/25/13 09:44 PM (10 years, 5 months ago)

Quote:

Led Zeppelin said:
Quote:

fapjack said:
I once had a transsexual over my parents house at like 6 AM, he (dad) assumed it was a chick I was hooking up with before seeing shim he could here us hooking up.  Walked out with a 5 o'clock shadow and my dad looked at me with this horrified look, told me not to come back to his house whenever he isn't there.




wow, I feel bad for your dad.



I felt worse for him when my exgfs husband came to my house and started yelling at him about his son fucking his wife.  That was a bad scene.  I put both my parents through a lot of shit.


--------------------


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Invisiblethizzlemaniac
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Re: post cool real life short stories in this thread [Re: fapjack]
    #18757329 - 08/25/13 09:48 PM (10 years, 5 months ago)

Once I was a passenger in a car that ran over a baby.  I believe it was just its arm, but we were parked in THE MIDDLE OF THE ROAD, and there were adults about across the street where we were paying attention, who were not paying attention to their infant.  The adults somehow missed this baby getting into the road and when we took of we hit a speed bump!  A hundred Mexicans came running out like on Cheech and Chong and took the baby to the hospital.  It was wild, but we all felt bad about it in the end.


--------------------
Hi how are you? How high are you?



:aum:


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Offlinefapjack
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Re: post cool real life short stories in this thread [Re: thizzlemaniac]
    #18757343 - 08/25/13 09:51 PM (10 years, 5 months ago)

wut


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InvisibleSheekle
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Re: post cool real life short stories in this thread [Re: fapjack] * 1
    #18757348 - 08/25/13 09:52 PM (10 years, 5 months ago)

One time like 7 years ago I was in Disney World. It was very busy at the time. I saw a bag full of pills, like a couple hundred red pills right obviously on the ground in the open. I didn't care to look closer so I don't know what kind of pills they were but w/e.


About 50 feet away from this bag of pills was some dude who was probably in his mid-20's standing in the middle of where everybody was walking. He had some way long hair, and a backpack on. There was people walking in all directions on every side of him, it was decently crowded. He wasn't making the slightest movement in any way whatsoever. He was just staring off into the infinite. He was literally just... not there. I think he was like experiencing ego death or something. It was just an empty shell of a human.

It was pretty far out.

I think I've wrote that story on here a few times before.


--------------------
"Ur cat died because he hated u" - Koods
"I hope JSB kicks your ass one day." - Vandago
"you are the biggest 'internet guy' I have ever come across"- Jokeshopbeard
"The more I see you post the more I realize you're just this fuckin tie dye loser who trolls the Shroomery 24/7." - Herbologist
"Sheekle you cannot vile the dice of bullshit you have posted on this forum over the years, I like databases" - thelastoneleft
"or maybe i just come from a blood line of superior intelligence" - trees

R.I.P Kelsy, ?/?/?? - 6/11/16


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InvisibleDoctor Sponge
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Re: post cool real life short stories in this thread [Re: Sheekle] * 1
    #18757409 - 08/25/13 10:04 PM (10 years, 5 months ago)

one time I picked up a hooker and had her suck my dick for $15


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InvisibleMegatrondon
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Re: post cool real life short stories in this thread [Re: Doctor Sponge]
    #18757472 - 08/25/13 10:18 PM (10 years, 5 months ago)

This one time i was drinking PBR with this Asian girl i met at wall mart. we had been hooking up every week like twice a week for  a month. this girl was unbelievable she had a boy friend she was living with in the next city over. This Asian girl was DOWN AS FUCK this one time we where fucking in the back of her car and her phone rings and i see who was calling (it was her BOY friend) she then turns her phone on silent and we continue fucking . im thinking damb this is fuuuucked up i would hate to be on the other end of this situation , and this other time i was drunk talking shit messing with her and i tell her im gonna be your pimp and you'll be my bitch and we can make dough together. she told me yea she was down!!  awww memories how i miss her so. my fucking so called friend at the time jacked her cell phone from my house. she never hit me up again after that:(


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InvisibleSheekle
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Re: post cool real life short stories in this thread [Re: Megatrondon]
    #18757500 - 08/25/13 10:24 PM (10 years, 5 months ago)

i feel like that story has some hidden meaning behind it like some sort of joke



You were drinking PBR with her, and you met her at Wal-Mart? That's so cliche sounding.


Then the story itself doesn't even have anything out of the ordinary to it. You were fucking some chick who had a boyfriend. Then like, that's all there is to the story?

u confused me :confused:


--------------------
"Ur cat died because he hated u" - Koods
"I hope JSB kicks your ass one day." - Vandago
"you are the biggest 'internet guy' I have ever come across"- Jokeshopbeard
"The more I see you post the more I realize you're just this fuckin tie dye loser who trolls the Shroomery 24/7." - Herbologist
"Sheekle you cannot vile the dice of bullshit you have posted on this forum over the years, I like databases" - thelastoneleft
"or maybe i just come from a blood line of superior intelligence" - trees

R.I.P Kelsy, ?/?/?? - 6/11/16


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InvisibleMagicman69
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Re: post cool real life short stories in this thread [Re: Sheekle]
    #18757509 - 08/25/13 10:27 PM (10 years, 5 months ago)

My homie Calvin just won the Washington state poker tournament a while back. He won around 75,000 cash


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InvisibleMasked
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Re: post cool real life short stories in this thread [Re: Sheekle]
    #18757522 - 08/25/13 10:31 PM (10 years, 5 months ago)

When I was 13 I won on the radio an opportunity to be hauled out on the ice, during intermission for a WHL hockey game, in a hot tub full of liquid grape jello.  The house was packed.

The organizers scattered hundreds of marbles in the dark, liquid grape jello before the eyes of all the spectators and the 4 participants(me being one of them).  They gave us 2 minutes to jump, frolic and wrestle our way to collect as many as we could.  They had someone standing by our "designated corner" with a bucket to drop the marbles in.

At the end, they counted up all the marbles and whoever had the most would win a hot tub rental for a week and 1000 dollars in gift certificates to the local mall

I didn't win...and I felt sticky for days :wink:


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InvisibleMegatrondon
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Re: post cool real life short stories in this thread [Re: Sheekle]
    #18757527 - 08/25/13 10:32 PM (10 years, 5 months ago)

it was my first ASIAN girl and all my life i wanted to fuck Asian girls and my dream came true dude since then its been my only Asian girl. this girl was riding me while her phone rings and its her dude calling and ignores the call and keeps riding. shit that was the first time i ever seen how fucked up girls could be with my very own eyes. and shit i never seen asian girls snort cocaine like this girl did. she was a wild one bringing all sorts of shame to the family


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InvisibleMagicman69
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Re: post cool real life short stories in this thread [Re: Masked]
    #18757528 - 08/25/13 10:32 PM (10 years, 5 months ago)

That's crazy..the WHL :lol:


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Re: post cool real life short stories in this thread [Re: Magicman69]
    #18757585 - 08/25/13 10:46 PM (10 years, 5 months ago)

subscribing to this thread.

I'll post in it a little later. I've got some weird ones.


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OfflineButteredToast
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Re: post cool real life short stories in this thread [Re: Magicman69]
    #18757601 - 08/25/13 10:49 PM (10 years, 5 months ago)

Lost my virginity today. Went to Vegas on friday, 3 guys and 3 girls. Got wasted friday, don't remember much. Saturday i'm chillin and the girls go out to a club. I gambled and walked the strip, then head back to the room around 2 AM. I walk in and see two of the girls who I had just met the day before had come home early from the club. I was pretty wasted, they were drunk and on coke I think. So one of them starts rubbing on me and i'm like so what's the plan? she smiles and we start hooking up. She's petite, mexican with a sexy accent, hot as fuck as far as my drunk self could tell. Next thing I know she's sucking my dick, then she gets on me and rides me like a fucking champ. Kinda sucked that I could only pop a half boner from all the liquor and other things consumed that night, but it was till fucking awesome. I came in like 15 minutes and then she takes off the condom and blows me for another 15 minutes. Then all of my friends show up an cockblock me. Took a shower, smoked a cig and some green and went to bed feeling like a champ.

I woke up next to her in the morning.. couldn't rmember her name. She's a lot less hot than I thought she was. Probably a 5/10 and pretty skanky looking.

Just got home a few hours ago. What a weekened....


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InvisibleSheekle
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Re: post cool real life short stories in this thread [Re: ButteredToast]
    #18757621 - 08/25/13 10:53 PM (10 years, 5 months ago)

ur signature is rockin' bra
:drysmash:  :drysmash:  :drysmash:  :drysmash:  :drysmash:  :drysmash:  :drysmash:  :drysmash:  :drysmash:  :god2:  :god2:  :god2:  :god2:  :god2:  :god2:  :god2:  :spank:  :spank:  :spank:  :spank:  :spank:  :69:  :69:  :69:  :69:    :rocket:  :rocket:  :rocket:  :rocket:  :rocket:  :bigjoint:  :bigjoint:  :bigjoint:


Edited by Sheekle (08/25/13 11:01 PM)


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Invisiblepirate-blues
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Re: post cool real life short stories in this thread [Re: Sheekle]
    #18757988 - 08/26/13 12:15 AM (10 years, 5 months ago)

here's one from my journal, winter of this year. It's kind of written dramatically, but I like to write about strange experiences. Once I wrote down all the weird people who were regulars at the bar I worked at and I wrote about every strange person I met every day but I can't find that document.


Quote:

And all I can do is stand on the curb and say "sorry."





"Do you want to go hiking?"
Was what she said  - her voice was far away, cutting in and out with the shoddy reception.
Though it's a bit chilly and I  don't have a jacket with me, and though I'm wearing a dress - my toes wiggle inside a pair of leather boots that are vaguely suitable for long walks and effortlessly persuade me to throw practicality to the wind and readily agree. I have things to take care of back at school, I'm not even in the right city at this point; but I've always thrown away my responsibilities too easily when something more fun comes knocking. It's why the girl on the phone and I once pinky-swore we wouldn't reproduce. Well, it's one of the reasons.

We're going to our usual spot, familiar and well travelled often at night and often on a whim and often in shoes far more terrible.

And so I finish up my errands, blow off a few minor academic responsibilities and my car huffs and puffs and heaves it's way up and around the winding roads to her house for a hike that never happened. Police block the entrance and turn us away. There's a manhunt. I weakly suggest we go haphazardly spend all the gift cards I've acquired over Christmas.

When someone says manhunt, I think of dramatic pursuit of a murderer on the loose, rewards for information, some nameless faceless criminal that is less a person and more a vague image I've concocted from stereotypes and horror stories and second rate television. I do not think of it applying to someone I know. I do not know quite what to think or say when she confesses. She tells me it is a search - I realize now it was a body they were searching for. But then when she tells me who this person is, the thought of recovering a body is something my brain outright rejects. We know this person well, well enough to try and be there to stop them.

She tells me the whispers of suicide threats and the gun and the car that was stolen. She thought if she just went looking, that I should come. I don't know what she was thinking calling me - the one that doesn't grasp the concept of picking up the fucking phone ever. But she called me, and I picked up, and something made me agree it was a fine time for a hike. I don't know what would've happened if we had gone a bit sooner - would we have found a desperate person with a gun or a body. Could things have turned out differently - was this person so desperate to die that us being there would've been nothing more than dangerous, or were they hoping, when they stood on the top of the rock formation we always hiked to - overlooking this depressing grey town that I've known for too long, that maybe someone would have come to try and help them. Instead the police got there first. If this person maybe would've seen our car winding it's way up the roads - and not a million frantic flashing police lights...what if they had seen us first. Was that the plan? Months later, a friend of mine  tells me that he understands the state of mind one is in when fleeing incarceration as we share a bowl of weed, his eyes are bright blue and bloodshot as he tells me that the devastating impact of suicide does not register in an individual when you feel your life is over already. It just makes it hurt again, though.

At the time my brain is not processing the seriousness of this situation. I am almost certain it is a cry for help, for attention. I reassure her that perhaps police custody is perhaps the safest and most stable place. I talk about stability and healing and self growth. I suggest we haphazardly spend all my christmas gift cards at the mall, and we do.

As I promise her things will be okay and we darkly joke of how guilty I'll feel if I'm wrong, we look for suicide notes and come up empty.
The note wasn't found for several days after I got the text from her while I was driving up from Philly, a world and a half away.  All lower case, no punctuation:

they found the body.

And I cried to myself in the darkness of a winding back road, just outside my home town on the river. I want to go back to the noise and lights in the city. I've never felt more alone than on that dark road. Even the whine of ambulances passing my window all through the night are more reassuring than silence and darkness like this - but I drove to her house, instead.


In another dimension somewhere in the infinite cluster of choices and outcomes and alternate realities, we left earlier that day.
I think about that a lot. I am okay, and she is on her way to being okay, and I am too stressed out to have the time to feel guilty or use it as an excuse to feel sad. I just think about what might've been, for better or worse.





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Offlinewatermelon mon
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Re: post cool real life short stories in this thread [Re: pirate-blues]
    #18758108 - 08/26/13 12:54 AM (10 years, 5 months ago)

:hugitout: sorry about your friend pirate-blues


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    :dazedandconfused:


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OfflineEukaryote11
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Re: post cool real life short stories in this thread [Re: Megatrondon] * 1
    #18758171 - 08/26/13 01:13 AM (10 years, 5 months ago)

Quote:

Megatrondon said:shit that was the first time i ever seen how fucked up girls could be with my very own eyes.




I promise we aren't all like that. I concur that was fucked up.

Here's mine:

One time I was walking home. It was a very clear crisp frosty night in the middle of winter and the view of the stars even in a light-polluted street was spectacular. Then just where I was looking I saw a bright blue light in the sky. It accelerated and got faster and faster before it turned into a line of light from how fast it was going. Then it vanished. This all happened within a space of about a second but it felt much longer. I was 100% sober (this was years ago) and I don't hallucinate sober. It also made no noise at all.

I never did find out what the blue light was. People kept suggesting it was a meteorite but as far as I know meteorites don't stay stationary in the sky and then suddenly accelerate.

Here's another one along the same vein:

One time I was looking up at the constellation Orion (another rare clear night). I tend to look at that one a lot because it's the one that stands out most to me in the winter night sky. Where the Orion Nebula should be I saw a sudden flash of orange and red flames shoot down diagonally, right across where people say Orion's sword is. It looked a more saturated orange than normal fire. As quickly as it came it was gone again. This one people don't tend to believe or think I was seeing things but you would have to have seen it for yourself to see how vivid it was.

Again I never did find out what it was. Again, 100% sober.


Edited by Eukaryote11 (08/26/13 01:18 AM)


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Offlineteamkiller
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Re: post cool real life short stories in this thread [Re: Eukaryote11]
    #18758294 - 08/26/13 02:07 AM (10 years, 5 months ago)

I couldn't think of any stories but this reminded me of one. 

I was sitting out on my porch during the day in summer.  All of a sudden i see a very bright (much brighter than sunny daylight) circle of white light for a second just barely above the tree and house line.  It was either huge or close by.  It wasn't coming from anything that i could see.

About a year later i mentioned that to someone in the area who told me they saw it too.

Freaked me out i thought it was like a missle or someshit.


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InvisibleRepertoire89
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Re: post cool real life short stories in this thread [Re: Sheekle]
    #18758332 - 08/26/13 02:35 AM (10 years, 5 months ago)

I once found an injured dog on the side of the road and carried it 3 miles to get it to the vet


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OfflineKonyap

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Re: post cool real life short stories in this thread [Re: Repertoire89]
    #18758364 - 08/26/13 02:57 AM (10 years, 5 months ago)

God asked if I could do some good, so I was created and played videogames.


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OfflineRockhound
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Re: post cool real life short stories in this thread [Re: Konyap]
    #18758402 - 08/26/13 03:21 AM (10 years, 5 months ago)

This just happened the other night.My girl went to sleep early,probably cause I was starting to drink myself into that obnoxious state I get in sometimes.I was just getting started to get good and drunk,plus horny goes with it.I decided I was going to text this girl she had been texting a while ago trying to hook us up with her.I started texting who i thought was her,asking whatever happened between her and my girl.After a few confusing texts,and some dirty video of me and my girl,AND A FEW HOURS GAP,her man sends my a text to stop texting his wife.wtf I tell him she told us her man was ok with all this,but he might want to keep an eye on her.He tells me he will find out where I live.I say i didn't know she was married,then he tells me he's a cop,I tell him I'm not intimidated,who I am,my address,and dare him to come over so I can fuck him up.The next message I got back was,'you realizes this is your boss(can't say her name) at work'.Shit they had the same name,but I had erased the horny bi girls number!after some apologies to her(none for her hubby,yet),I still have a job.
I think it's time to lay off the sauce for a while.


--------------------
Rocks speak to me, and tell me this:
The Hell Creek formation is a gigantic slab of rocks that covers several western states. It contains an account of the dinosaurs' demise.  In the late Cretaceous period, the first Cannabis species appear, and soon after, all the non-bird dinosaurs disappeared. Obviously, marihuana killed the dinosaurs. That giant meteor that smacked the yucatan peninsula right afterwards, coincidence.


Edited by Rockhound (08/27/13 01:48 AM)


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InvisibleRepertoire89
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Re: post cool real life short stories in this thread [Re: Rockhound]
    #18758443 - 08/26/13 04:03 AM (10 years, 5 months ago)

Quote:

Rockhound said:

then he tells me he's a cop,I tell him I'm not intimidated,who I am,my address,and dare him to come over so I can fuck him up.The next message I got back was,'you realizes this is your boss at work'.




:orly:


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OfflineFuckspice
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Re: post cool real life short stories in this thread [Re: Rockhound]
    #18758445 - 08/26/13 04:05 AM (10 years, 5 months ago)

well today about a 5 hours ago i thought i was taking melatonin or some natural sleep aid but it turned out to be ground up mushrooms or some crazy ass synthetic in a capsul i dont know what happend the last 5hrs but its been a wild ride :tvhead: ive been staring at this for too long now ad i just realized this smiley thing is what i am right now a tv head since iv been starin at this screen all night


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Invisiblepirate-blues
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Re: post cool real life short stories in this thread [Re: Rockhound]
    #18758446 - 08/26/13 04:08 AM (10 years, 5 months ago)

One time a big black man named Gary who always called into my work to order take out and insisted on always talking to me and always told me to keep my third eye open made me an african thumb piano out of a tuna can because he liked my vibes.

On my 20th birthday in the midst of amphetamine psychosis I kept hearing a bunch of voices from directly outside my window even though the blinds were closed, they were narrating what I was doing and I was changing at the time so all I heard was a bunch of male voices alerting others to this fact. I rationalized that I was on drugs and I had been awake too long and that it was in my head. Turns out it was my neighbors and a bunch of their friends on the fire escape by my window able to see into my blinds at a certain angle because the house I lived in was old and my windows were weirdly sized, so the blinds didn't quite fit. I'm not really sure how long they were able to see, it was the first really warm day of spring where people were outside.  Later that night I fell out my friend's bathroom window while climbing out of it to try and climb onto a roof deck, luckily it was only a 6 foot drop or so onto their fire-escape, but I was sad that birthday.

Once I called 911 and had a nice conversation with a man who was stabbed in the back four times outside my house and robbed. I wish I remembered his name, the sidewalk was stained for about a week.

I had a sneaking suspicion a homeless person was following me around and dismembering pigeons and squirrels and throwing them on my car and on one occasion my boyfriend's car. It was happening pretty frequently all over the city and I was genuinely confused and at a loss because it really just looked like someone shoved an m-80 up a pigeons butt or something. Turns out Philly has hawks that like to do this to cars, turns out they also cannibalize each other which is just...weird.


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OfflineRockhound
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Re: post cool real life short stories in this thread [Re: Repertoire89]
    #18758447 - 08/26/13 04:09 AM (10 years, 5 months ago)

Yeah,I thought about how I worded that.My boss is a lady.There was a few hours gap in the conversation,and i'm sure she got home duing that time,because the tone totally changed,from meek and mild to ultra alpha.
I started to transcript all the text together here,but I would have to give enough detail to reveal who I am.


--------------------
Rocks speak to me, and tell me this:
The Hell Creek formation is a gigantic slab of rocks that covers several western states. It contains an account of the dinosaurs' demise.  In the late Cretaceous period, the first Cannabis species appear, and soon after, all the non-bird dinosaurs disappeared. Obviously, marihuana killed the dinosaurs. That giant meteor that smacked the yucatan peninsula right afterwards, coincidence.


Edited by Rockhound (08/26/13 04:23 AM)


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Offlineteamkiller
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Re: post cool real life short stories in this thread [Re: Rockhound]
    #18758542 - 08/26/13 05:03 AM (10 years, 5 months ago)

oh i'm reminded of another story.  I was working at a coffee shop and there was a woman ordering at the counter.

I was like "don't panic but there is a bee crawling on your chest".  I just like grabbed a cup and a piece of paper and was like "u want me to do this?" and she was like "yeah get it off me".

so i put the cup on her boob and got the bee off and let it go outside.

So she was like "oh i want to give you something in return" and i was like "oh its no problem."

Then she pulled out a flute and was like "this is a magic flute" and then played a song to harmonize me with the universe on her magic flute.

^^^
true story

edit: my favorite part of that story which doesn't translate well was i was utterly neutral and unaffected.  I didn't have any feeling when i saw the bee on her or when i got it off, and i only had slight amusement and no suprise when she told me she had a magic flute and was going to harmonize me with the universe.


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InvisibleRepertoire89
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Re: post cool real life short stories in this thread [Re: teamkiller]
    #18758555 - 08/26/13 05:11 AM (10 years, 5 months ago)

Quote:

teamkiller said:

Then she pulled out a flute and was like "this is a magic flute" and then played a song to harmonize me with the universe on her magic flute.





:firstladyofapproval:


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Offlinewatermelon mon
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Re: post cool real life short stories in this thread [Re: Repertoire89]
    #18758567 - 08/26/13 05:21 AM (10 years, 5 months ago)

:lol: nice magic flute one time I was drunk walked into a carpet store had them on the walls and stuff cool shit every were I  side were are the magic carpets man the guy was like 
:freshwtf:


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OfflineAbsent Minded
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Re: post cool real life short stories in this thread [Re: Repertoire89]
    #18758990 - 08/26/13 09:35 AM (10 years, 5 months ago)

Quote:

Repertoire89 said:
Quote:

teamkiller said:

Then she pulled out a flute and was like "this is a magic flute" and then played a song to harmonize me with the universe on her magic flute.





:firstladyofapproval:



excellent


--------------------


Beats
More Beats

sheekle: fuck peace love and unity
sheekle: death despair and misery
sheekle: is where it's at


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Invisiblefee
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Re: post cool real life short stories in this thread [Re: Absent Minded]
    #18759057 - 08/26/13 09:56 AM (10 years, 5 months ago)

One time I did this :pedropussy:

The end


--------------------

blankk said to fee:
btw you're a total fucking psychedelic pimp
Turtletotem said:
I want to become a sun worshipper, so next time an atheist smugly asks me where god is, I can point smugly at the sun and laugh my ass off.

Then I drive away in my solar powered piece of shit car, cool stuff man.

And then I go kill a bitch because the flaming orb in the sky told me to do so, and I don't know, oppress a few minorities here and there in the name of nuclear fusion?

Religion is fun.


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Offlinehidenseek1
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Re: post cool real life short stories in this thread [Re: fee]
    #18759150 - 08/26/13 10:31 AM (10 years, 5 months ago)

this isnt really a cool story, but the other day i was walking to the mall with my gf, and there was a E from one of those changeable signs on the side of the road, and she went to pick it up and i shouted

HEY!  :crankey: WHAT DID I TELL YOU ABOUT GETTING E OFF THE STREET!


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You can drink at 7 A.M., because the Beastie Boys fought for that right
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
pons asinorum
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
lsd and the vietnam war changed music forever


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InvisibleSheekle
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Re: post cool real life short stories in this thread [Re: fee]
    #18759158 - 08/26/13 10:33 AM (10 years, 5 months ago)

Quote:

fee said:
One time I did this :pedropussy:

The end



Lol


--------------------
"Ur cat died because he hated u" - Koods
"I hope JSB kicks your ass one day." - Vandago
"you are the biggest 'internet guy' I have ever come across"- Jokeshopbeard
"The more I see you post the more I realize you're just this fuckin tie dye loser who trolls the Shroomery 24/7." - Herbologist
"Sheekle you cannot vile the dice of bullshit you have posted on this forum over the years, I like databases" - thelastoneleft
"or maybe i just come from a blood line of superior intelligence" - trees

R.I.P Kelsy, ?/?/?? - 6/11/16


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Offlinemorrowasted
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Re: post cool real life short stories in this thread [Re: Absent Minded]
    #18759438 - 08/26/13 12:30 PM (10 years, 5 months ago)

Quote:

Absent Minded said:
what strength are the yellow ones?
that's beat street my man.



2mg but they are quick release


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Invisibletrippinballs420
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Re: post cool real life short stories in this thread [Re: morrowasted]
    #18759463 - 08/26/13 12:36 PM (10 years, 5 months ago)

i had a no wipe diarrhea once


--------------------
ModestMouse said:
"Much love for all of the regs here that's all I got to say
:goodnight: "

:heart:


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OfflineZ O M G
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Re: post cool real life short stories in this thread [Re: Scarab74]
    #18759542 - 08/26/13 01:00 PM (10 years, 5 months ago)

Quote:

Scarab74 said:
Quote:

Sheekle said:
Quote:

Scarab74 said:
In seventh grade, my family was walking along a beach, and I discovered most of a human torso skeleton half buried in the sand.

True story.



what became of that




My mom, a Nurse, identified the bones as human.  I put the bones in a trash bag and took them to school the following Monday to show to a science teacher/mentor in the high school (I went to private K-12 school), thinking I would score brownie points with human bones.  Instead, I soon found myself without a mentor and without human bones to look at or construct a mobile with.  :sad:



i'm assuming they(the school) took them to the police like you should've done right?
since it could've been possible murder.


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OfflineThe5thElement
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Re: post cool real life short stories in this thread [Re: trippinballs420]
    #18759550 - 08/26/13 01:02 PM (10 years, 5 months ago)

Please refer to it as a Clean Sweep, thank you.


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OfflineZ O M G
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Re: post cool real life short stories in this thread [Re: Z O M G] * 1
    #18759555 - 08/26/13 01:04 PM (10 years, 5 months ago)

Dave Mathews used to baby sit me(sorta) when i was around 5-6 in Richmond,Va.

i also got suspended from school for 3 days when i was 8 for taking a dump on the playground in front of the slide. I then buried it like a cat. Only for it to be magicaly found when some girl slide facefirst down the slide right into my pile of sand covered shit.


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Re: post cool real life short stories in this thread [Re: Z O M G]
    #18759577 - 08/26/13 01:15 PM (10 years, 5 months ago)

One time I was hiking, tripped, slid down a slope and dislocated my arm.
Hiked back to the car, got it fixed.

Fast forward 4 months
better for a while, go camping.
Hike out to spot.
Trip balls. :mushroom2:
Wake up next morning, "I feel great!"
Hop off log, my arm dislocates.  :psychsplit:
Cut camping short and hike back.
drive 2 hours to get it fixed.  That part sucked, but I got my friends to carry my big pack.

Fast forward a year, and here I am finishing up my last 4 weeks of therapy.


--------------------
Psilovibing


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OfflineShortknight
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Registered: 02/25/13
Posts: 2,164
Last seen: 6 years, 5 months
Re: post cool real life short stories in this thread [Re: ClockCode]
    #18759641 - 08/26/13 01:40 PM (10 years, 5 months ago)

One time when we were younger, my sister lit a fire cracker in the house, in the back room, she started panicing and couldnt figure out how to open the sliding doors...:tongue2: it blew up in her hand, she started crying and all of us there started uncontrollably laughing...:peace:

Shorty:cool:


--------------------
Did I say it too loud? Big heart? Or a little misleading!:musicnote:


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Offlinehidenseek1
Its got all the dinks.
Registered: 12/22/12
Posts: 5,423
Loc: poop
Last seen: 6 years, 10 months
Re: post cool real life short stories in this thread [Re: Shortknight]
    #18759699 - 08/26/13 01:57 PM (10 years, 5 months ago)

that sorta happened to my mom, she found my firecracker stash on fireworks day, and didnt notice most of them had green wicks, but there was a couple with white whicks

she knows the difference now


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You can drink at 7 A.M., because the Beastie Boys fought for that right
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
pons asinorum
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lsd and the vietnam war changed music forever


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OfflineShortknight
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Registered: 02/25/13
Posts: 2,164
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Re: post cool real life short stories in this thread [Re: hidenseek1]
    #18759708 - 08/26/13 02:01 PM (10 years, 5 months ago)

Hahahaha, oh moms.....
Fireworks day huh. Sounds interesting:wink:

Shorty:peace:


--------------------
Did I say it too loud? Big heart? Or a little misleading!:musicnote:


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Offlineurbannerd
W.TheMushroomTip
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Registered: 06/27/13
Posts: 997
Loc: California Flag
Last seen: 9 years, 3 months
Re: post cool real life short stories in this thread [Re: Shortknight]
    #18759749 - 08/26/13 02:15 PM (10 years, 5 months ago)

if only we could post anonymously -__-

....one time i was at the meds clinic and the one dude that was working
was suppppeeerrr high so i was having a convo with him telling him how
i drive almost an hr every time i go there cause its my spot (all while hes serving me my buds)
well hes like here man im going to hook you
up with a bogo card, and i was like and ill hook you up with a tip! and
he says bye to me so i walk out...not til im driving home did i realize
he didnt charge me for my buds hahahah got a quarter FO FREEEEE


Edited by urbannerd (08/26/13 02:15 PM)


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OfflineKonyap

Registered: 06/30/07
Posts: 33,945
Loc: Planet Piss
Last seen: 4 years, 2 months
Re: post cool real life short stories in this thread [Re: urbannerd]
    #18760330 - 08/26/13 04:24 PM (10 years, 5 months ago)

I thought you were talking about a supplement store


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Offlineurbannerd
W.TheMushroomTip
Male User Gallery


Registered: 06/27/13
Posts: 997
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Re: post cool real life short stories in this thread [Re: Konyap]
    #18760378 - 08/26/13 04:33 PM (10 years, 5 months ago)

Quote:

aiyobro said:
I thought you were talking about a supplement store




nooope, mmj


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Soaking in the energy of the universe since '91


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OfflineScarab74
Warminatrix
Female

Registered: 07/06/09
Posts: 1,554
Loc: Conchs & Coconuts, USA Flag
Last seen: 9 years, 9 months
Re: post cool real life short stories in this thread [Re: Z O M G]
    #18761069 - 08/26/13 07:25 PM (10 years, 5 months ago)

Quote:

Z O M G said:
Quote:

Scarab74 said:
Quote:

Sheekle said:
Quote:

Scarab74 said:
In seventh grade, my family was walking along a beach, and I discovered most of a human torso skeleton half buried in the sand.

True story.



what became of that




My mom, a Nurse, identified the bones as human.  I put the bones in a trash bag and took them to school the following Monday to show to a science teacher/mentor in the high school (I went to private K-12 school), thinking I would score brownie points with human bones.  Instead, I soon found myself without a mentor and without human bones to look at or construct a mobile with.  :sad:



i'm assuming they(the school) took them to the police like you should've done right?
since it could've been possible murder.




Of course they did.  Looking back, I don't know why my folks didn't call the police except maybe they didn't want to wait on an investigation that evening.  The police told us they believed it was probably a boating accident.  We never learned anything more about the bones.  I attended private school, and I think I might have weirded them out a little.


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~Scarab74
We are such stuff as dreams are made of.
                W. Shakespeare - The Tempest


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