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Offlineteamkiller
ghetto drama whore
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Registered: 06/06/11
Posts: 8,806
Last seen: 3 months, 12 days
Re: post cool real life short stories in this thread [Re: Eukaryote11]
    #18758294 - 08/26/13 02:07 AM (10 years, 5 months ago)

I couldn't think of any stories but this reminded me of one. 

I was sitting out on my porch during the day in summer.  All of a sudden i see a very bright (much brighter than sunny daylight) circle of white light for a second just barely above the tree and house line.  It was either huge or close by.  It wasn't coming from anything that i could see.

About a year later i mentioned that to someone in the area who told me they saw it too.

Freaked me out i thought it was like a missle or someshit.


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InvisibleRepertoire89
Cat
Male


Registered: 11/15/12
Posts: 21,773
Re: post cool real life short stories in this thread [Re: Sheekle]
    #18758332 - 08/26/13 02:35 AM (10 years, 5 months ago)

I once found an injured dog on the side of the road and carried it 3 miles to get it to the vet


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OfflineKonyap

Registered: 06/30/07
Posts: 33,945
Loc: Planet Piss
Last seen: 4 years, 2 months
Re: post cool real life short stories in this thread [Re: Repertoire89]
    #18758364 - 08/26/13 02:57 AM (10 years, 5 months ago)

God asked if I could do some good, so I was created and played videogames.


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OfflineRockhound
The Rockweiler
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Registered: 01/19/13
Posts: 664
Loc: hell creek anticline
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Re: post cool real life short stories in this thread [Re: Konyap]
    #18758402 - 08/26/13 03:21 AM (10 years, 5 months ago)

This just happened the other night.My girl went to sleep early,probably cause I was starting to drink myself into that obnoxious state I get in sometimes.I was just getting started to get good and drunk,plus horny goes with it.I decided I was going to text this girl she had been texting a while ago trying to hook us up with her.I started texting who i thought was her,asking whatever happened between her and my girl.After a few confusing texts,and some dirty video of me and my girl,AND A FEW HOURS GAP,her man sends my a text to stop texting his wife.wtf I tell him she told us her man was ok with all this,but he might want to keep an eye on her.He tells me he will find out where I live.I say i didn't know she was married,then he tells me he's a cop,I tell him I'm not intimidated,who I am,my address,and dare him to come over so I can fuck him up.The next message I got back was,'you realizes this is your boss(can't say her name) at work'.Shit they had the same name,but I had erased the horny bi girls number!after some apologies to her(none for her hubby,yet),I still have a job.
I think it's time to lay off the sauce for a while.


--------------------
Rocks speak to me, and tell me this:
The Hell Creek formation is a gigantic slab of rocks that covers several western states. It contains an account of the dinosaurs' demise.  In the late Cretaceous period, the first Cannabis species appear, and soon after, all the non-bird dinosaurs disappeared. Obviously, marihuana killed the dinosaurs. That giant meteor that smacked the yucatan peninsula right afterwards, coincidence.


Edited by Rockhound (08/27/13 01:48 AM)


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InvisibleRepertoire89
Cat
Male


Registered: 11/15/12
Posts: 21,773
Re: post cool real life short stories in this thread [Re: Rockhound]
    #18758443 - 08/26/13 04:03 AM (10 years, 5 months ago)

Quote:

Rockhound said:

then he tells me he's a cop,I tell him I'm not intimidated,who I am,my address,and dare him to come over so I can fuck him up.The next message I got back was,'you realizes this is your boss at work'.




:orly:


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OfflineFuckspice
Psychosis connoisseur
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Registered: 12/30/12
Posts: 1,393
Loc: America's asshole
Last seen: 9 years, 2 months
Re: post cool real life short stories in this thread [Re: Rockhound]
    #18758445 - 08/26/13 04:05 AM (10 years, 5 months ago)

well today about a 5 hours ago i thought i was taking melatonin or some natural sleep aid but it turned out to be ground up mushrooms or some crazy ass synthetic in a capsul i dont know what happend the last 5hrs but its been a wild ride :tvhead: ive been staring at this for too long now ad i just realized this smiley thing is what i am right now a tv head since iv been starin at this screen all night


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Invisiblepirate-blues
Female

Registered: 10/15/12
Posts: 13,655
Re: post cool real life short stories in this thread [Re: Rockhound]
    #18758446 - 08/26/13 04:08 AM (10 years, 5 months ago)

One time a big black man named Gary who always called into my work to order take out and insisted on always talking to me and always told me to keep my third eye open made me an african thumb piano out of a tuna can because he liked my vibes.

On my 20th birthday in the midst of amphetamine psychosis I kept hearing a bunch of voices from directly outside my window even though the blinds were closed, they were narrating what I was doing and I was changing at the time so all I heard was a bunch of male voices alerting others to this fact. I rationalized that I was on drugs and I had been awake too long and that it was in my head. Turns out it was my neighbors and a bunch of their friends on the fire escape by my window able to see into my blinds at a certain angle because the house I lived in was old and my windows were weirdly sized, so the blinds didn't quite fit. I'm not really sure how long they were able to see, it was the first really warm day of spring where people were outside.  Later that night I fell out my friend's bathroom window while climbing out of it to try and climb onto a roof deck, luckily it was only a 6 foot drop or so onto their fire-escape, but I was sad that birthday.

Once I called 911 and had a nice conversation with a man who was stabbed in the back four times outside my house and robbed. I wish I remembered his name, the sidewalk was stained for about a week.

I had a sneaking suspicion a homeless person was following me around and dismembering pigeons and squirrels and throwing them on my car and on one occasion my boyfriend's car. It was happening pretty frequently all over the city and I was genuinely confused and at a loss because it really just looked like someone shoved an m-80 up a pigeons butt or something. Turns out Philly has hawks that like to do this to cars, turns out they also cannibalize each other which is just...weird.


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OfflineRockhound
The Rockweiler
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Registered: 01/19/13
Posts: 664
Loc: hell creek anticline
Last seen: 8 years, 7 months
Re: post cool real life short stories in this thread [Re: Repertoire89]
    #18758447 - 08/26/13 04:09 AM (10 years, 5 months ago)

Yeah,I thought about how I worded that.My boss is a lady.There was a few hours gap in the conversation,and i'm sure she got home duing that time,because the tone totally changed,from meek and mild to ultra alpha.
I started to transcript all the text together here,but I would have to give enough detail to reveal who I am.


--------------------
Rocks speak to me, and tell me this:
The Hell Creek formation is a gigantic slab of rocks that covers several western states. It contains an account of the dinosaurs' demise.  In the late Cretaceous period, the first Cannabis species appear, and soon after, all the non-bird dinosaurs disappeared. Obviously, marihuana killed the dinosaurs. That giant meteor that smacked the yucatan peninsula right afterwards, coincidence.


Edited by Rockhound (08/26/13 04:23 AM)


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Offlineteamkiller
ghetto drama whore
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Registered: 06/06/11
Posts: 8,806
Last seen: 3 months, 12 days
Re: post cool real life short stories in this thread [Re: Rockhound]
    #18758542 - 08/26/13 05:03 AM (10 years, 5 months ago)

oh i'm reminded of another story.  I was working at a coffee shop and there was a woman ordering at the counter.

I was like "don't panic but there is a bee crawling on your chest".  I just like grabbed a cup and a piece of paper and was like "u want me to do this?" and she was like "yeah get it off me".

so i put the cup on her boob and got the bee off and let it go outside.

So she was like "oh i want to give you something in return" and i was like "oh its no problem."

Then she pulled out a flute and was like "this is a magic flute" and then played a song to harmonize me with the universe on her magic flute.

^^^
true story

edit: my favorite part of that story which doesn't translate well was i was utterly neutral and unaffected.  I didn't have any feeling when i saw the bee on her or when i got it off, and i only had slight amusement and no suprise when she told me she had a magic flute and was going to harmonize me with the universe.


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InvisibleRepertoire89
Cat
Male


Registered: 11/15/12
Posts: 21,773
Re: post cool real life short stories in this thread [Re: teamkiller]
    #18758555 - 08/26/13 05:11 AM (10 years, 5 months ago)

Quote:

teamkiller said:

Then she pulled out a flute and was like "this is a magic flute" and then played a song to harmonize me with the universe on her magic flute.





:firstladyofapproval:


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Offlinewatermelon mon
Willow Trees


Registered: 04/05/13
Posts: 7,800
Last seen: 3 years, 3 months
Re: post cool real life short stories in this thread [Re: Repertoire89]
    #18758567 - 08/26/13 05:21 AM (10 years, 5 months ago)

:lol: nice magic flute one time I was drunk walked into a carpet store had them on the walls and stuff cool shit every were I  side were are the magic carpets man the guy was like 
:freshwtf:


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    :dazedandconfused:


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OfflineAbsent Minded
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Registered: 04/13/12
Posts: 3,300
Loc: Way Down South Flag
Last seen: 8 years, 9 months
Re: post cool real life short stories in this thread [Re: Repertoire89]
    #18758990 - 08/26/13 09:35 AM (10 years, 5 months ago)

Quote:

Repertoire89 said:
Quote:

teamkiller said:

Then she pulled out a flute and was like "this is a magic flute" and then played a song to harmonize me with the universe on her magic flute.





:firstladyofapproval:



excellent


--------------------


Beats
More Beats

sheekle: fuck peace love and unity
sheekle: death despair and misery
sheekle: is where it's at


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Invisiblefee
Im he who is the
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Registered: 01/16/03
Posts: 18,238
Loc: amsterdam
Re: post cool real life short stories in this thread [Re: Absent Minded]
    #18759057 - 08/26/13 09:56 AM (10 years, 5 months ago)

One time I did this :pedropussy:

The end


--------------------

blankk said to fee:
btw you're a total fucking psychedelic pimp
Turtletotem said:
I want to become a sun worshipper, so next time an atheist smugly asks me where god is, I can point smugly at the sun and laugh my ass off.

Then I drive away in my solar powered piece of shit car, cool stuff man.

And then I go kill a bitch because the flaming orb in the sky told me to do so, and I don't know, oppress a few minorities here and there in the name of nuclear fusion?

Religion is fun.


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Offlinehidenseek1
Its got all the dinks.
Registered: 12/22/12
Posts: 5,423
Loc: poop
Last seen: 6 years, 10 months
Re: post cool real life short stories in this thread [Re: fee]
    #18759150 - 08/26/13 10:31 AM (10 years, 5 months ago)

this isnt really a cool story, but the other day i was walking to the mall with my gf, and there was a E from one of those changeable signs on the side of the road, and she went to pick it up and i shouted

HEY!  :crankey: WHAT DID I TELL YOU ABOUT GETTING E OFF THE STREET!


--------------------
You can drink at 7 A.M., because the Beastie Boys fought for that right
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
pons asinorum
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
lsd and the vietnam war changed music forever


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InvisibleSheekle
FREE BURKE
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Registered: 01/11/10
Posts: 53,153
Re: post cool real life short stories in this thread [Re: fee]
    #18759158 - 08/26/13 10:33 AM (10 years, 5 months ago)

Quote:

fee said:
One time I did this :pedropussy:

The end



Lol


--------------------
"Ur cat died because he hated u" - Koods
"I hope JSB kicks your ass one day." - Vandago
"you are the biggest 'internet guy' I have ever come across"- Jokeshopbeard
"The more I see you post the more I realize you're just this fuckin tie dye loser who trolls the Shroomery 24/7." - Herbologist
"Sheekle you cannot vile the dice of bullshit you have posted on this forum over the years, I like databases" - thelastoneleft
"or maybe i just come from a blood line of superior intelligence" - trees

R.I.P Kelsy, ?/?/?? - 6/11/16


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Offlinemorrowasted
Worldwide Stepper
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Registered: 10/30/09
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Re: post cool real life short stories in this thread [Re: Absent Minded]
    #18759438 - 08/26/13 12:30 PM (10 years, 5 months ago)

Quote:

Absent Minded said:
what strength are the yellow ones?
that's beat street my man.



2mg but they are quick release


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Invisibletrippinballs420
Samall Johnson
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Registered: 09/17/12
Posts: 11,903
Loc: CO Flag
Re: post cool real life short stories in this thread [Re: morrowasted]
    #18759463 - 08/26/13 12:36 PM (10 years, 5 months ago)

i had a no wipe diarrhea once


--------------------
ModestMouse said:
"Much love for all of the regs here that's all I got to say
:goodnight: "

:heart:


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OfflineZ O M G
Stranger Danger
Male


Registered: 06/16/12
Posts: 730
Loc: new york. Flag
Last seen: 9 years, 2 months
Re: post cool real life short stories in this thread [Re: Scarab74]
    #18759542 - 08/26/13 01:00 PM (10 years, 5 months ago)

Quote:

Scarab74 said:
Quote:

Sheekle said:
Quote:

Scarab74 said:
In seventh grade, my family was walking along a beach, and I discovered most of a human torso skeleton half buried in the sand.

True story.



what became of that




My mom, a Nurse, identified the bones as human.  I put the bones in a trash bag and took them to school the following Monday to show to a science teacher/mentor in the high school (I went to private K-12 school), thinking I would score brownie points with human bones.  Instead, I soon found myself without a mentor and without human bones to look at or construct a mobile with.  :sad:



i'm assuming they(the school) took them to the police like you should've done right?
since it could've been possible murder.


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OfflineThe5thElement
Smile Friends :)
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Registered: 07/01/12
Posts: 4,675
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Re: post cool real life short stories in this thread [Re: trippinballs420]
    #18759550 - 08/26/13 01:02 PM (10 years, 5 months ago)

Please refer to it as a Clean Sweep, thank you.


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OfflineZ O M G
Stranger Danger
Male


Registered: 06/16/12
Posts: 730
Loc: new york. Flag
Last seen: 9 years, 2 months
Re: post cool real life short stories in this thread [Re: Z O M G] * 1
    #18759555 - 08/26/13 01:04 PM (10 years, 5 months ago)

Dave Mathews used to baby sit me(sorta) when i was around 5-6 in Richmond,Va.

i also got suspended from school for 3 days when i was 8 for taking a dump on the playground in front of the slide. I then buried it like a cat. Only for it to be magicaly found when some girl slide facefirst down the slide right into my pile of sand covered shit.


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